Day 28

Bridgetown, Barbados. Today was pretty overcast. I think we’re chasing bad weather. I hear rumor that there is a tropical storm or something but don’t want to use the bandwidth to look it up online. We were supposed to go hang out at a place called the Boat Yard today but one look at the weather had us changing plans. We decided to just walk into town. I didn’t even get off the ship last time we were here so I was determined to at least do that. Barbados puts us on a long pier…they have a shuttle to get you to the end. I guess last time the shuttle was mandatory, but it was optional this time. Deanna, Jen, Larrance and I walked. Before even reaching the end of the pier both Deanna and I started feeling odd.

We called it Land Sickness, but it was different. We both sat down and took it easy and then got some almonds and Powerade in the mall at the end of the pier. Still land sick-ish. We kept walking. Looked in a couple of shops but that was about it.

Tonight was a show night for us…and things were rocky. The rockiest they’ve been so far. It didn’t effect the show at all, but it was rocky. Actually, it seemed like more people than usual were leaving the show and I wonder if it was because of the rockiness. I know I tend to feel worse when I’m sitting in the audience on rocky nights. People get up a lot during any given show. Maybe they don’t speak English and it doesn’t make sense, maybe they expected the show to be shorter and they had made dinner plans, maybe they didn’t like it. Whatever the reason, any show can count on people showing up late and people leaving early.

After the show we grabbed some food and headed to a crew party in Spinaker. I have trouble getting into the vibe of these things, but this one was easier because it was in Spinaker and not in the low-ceilinged crew bar. The crew does a lot of work regardless of their specific job, and the parties are huge for morale. Why? There are cheap drinks, music, dancing, etc. It was enjoyable at the beginning. Then it got louder. Maybe I’m getting older but there are four things that make this situation less than desirable: I don’t drink, I don’t care for cramped spaces/crowds, once it gets loud enough for me to not hear it is useless for people to try to converse with me, and I don’t enjoy dancing. What do I enjoy in these situations? Watching. People watching. Watching people I don’t know act like idiots, watching people I do know have fun. I like to sit back and take it in. Usually that isn’t enough for people though. “Come dance!” “Get up and dance!” “You HAVE to dance to THIS song!” All said good-naturedly, but ease up. If a song comes on that I feel like dancing to (there are one or two), I will get up and dance. If I’m up and it isn’t a song I feel like dancing too I’m going to either A) be taking pictures or B) do bits.

I don’t know if it is because he is a little older or because he never really listened to pop-music, but Larrance seems to be immune to this problem. I don’t see anyone egging him on. I will have to figure out his secret.

Tomorrow is our last port on this cruise before two sea days…and it is supposed to be raining or cloudy. We are going to attempt to go to some beach in St. Lucia, if nothing else because it is our last port before two sea days. Two. We’ll see. This cruise has gone like this (at night) “Let’s do this awesome thing tomorrow!” (next day with bad weather) “oh…well? Next time?”

Day 27

St. John’s, Antigua. We were going to go on a tour of the island today. Sometime in between my leaving the breakfast table and my going back to the breakfast table an hour later, things had changed. I got all ready in my swimsuit and totally sunscreened. Apparently after I left the table it started to rain. People decided against the tour and remained at the table chatting with some JARs. Apparently the rockiness that kept us away from their show last night also proved for difficult dancing. It was a hard show for them…so I heard.

I went into town and found Jen. She showed me where the IGA was so I could get some Ting soda. I bought 4 bottles. Once I got back on board I was very active…more Smallville. AND I drank three Tings. I felt sick by the time we were off to dinner, but getting out and burping a lot made everything a-ok. We had dinner in Tsar’s Palace (or as I now call it “JARs Palace”) with Roman, Sascha, (ballroom dancers) and Svetlana (Roman’s wife). Nice food, nice times.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, Lois just had her red kryptonite aphrodisiac lipstick counteracted by a green kryptonite perfume and Clark’s mom got him close to green kryptonite to make him sweat and get the residual red kryptonite from Lois’ kiss out of his system.

Day 26

Tortolla. Today was rough weather. So, we went looking for a beach with waves. Jen and Larrance heard that a place called Apple Bay was good for that. We took a cab and found out that it was good waves…crashing into a wall with no beach. We settled for a place called long bay. After body surfing a while we were done. It was cloudy and started to rain once we went into the restaurant.

Today was supposed to be the JARs show Country Gold…well…it was supposed to be a day that we went to see it. The conditions were still rocky so we decided not to go. You’ll never guess what I did. Did you say watch Smallville? Then I guess you guessed it.

Day 25

Samana…right? We stayed on the ship today. Dedicated readers know Samana has kids selling shells and good coffee. But we stayed on board. I had web work to do (I’m still doing web stuff for CSz) and we relaxed. Later on in the day Deanna went to the library for the first time and I went to the crew video store (commonly called “Jewel-busters”, but I prefer Nord-flix). I checked out Smallville season 6. I was initially a huge fan of the show. Now I like it…it’s ok. About the time that Season 6 came on the air I was too far into The Office and Survivor. Tivo can only record so many things at a time.

So, now I’m watching Smallville. Also, the ship is pretty rocky. Probably the rockiest it has been, but still not too severe.

Gotta go…important Smallville plot point is about to be revealed.

Day 24

Sea Day. Boy…talk about lazy. I slept until 10:30. The only reason I got up was to try and get to the buffet in time for breakfast. My usual breakfast has become an eggwhite omelet with ham, spinach, and cheese, a bowl of oatmeal, and some yogurt. Today was no different.

After that I got online to see if I could put a dent in Christmas stuff. Two words: Bah Humbug.

It is the end of the day and I really can’t remember what I did today. Ironed some shirts. Ate. Ate. Man, what did I do today? I at least know that I saw the JARs show again. It is fun to see their show from the front row. It is pretty rocky right now and tomorrow will be an early start. We are tender boating so we will hear the winches kick in as our alarm.

Day 23

Miami, FL. America! Today was a typical Miami day except we got off the ship later than we should have. This meant going through customs with a lot of people. We took a cab across the bridge and camped out in the hotel. We had to be on by 3:30. We were.

Today was spent doing research for my parents who will be coming out in January.

I also heard from a few people via email. I think I even managed to get Tara to get a CSz buyout cast to play “Hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing?” but to play it as “Hey, Rance Rizzutto, what are you doing?”

Today was more of the usuals once we got back. I ate, started laundry, worked out, threw clothes in the drier, finished my workout, ate, showered…blah, blah, blah. We got ready and headed out to see Edge’s last show at 7:30. Only…there is only a 9:30 show on the first day. So…we ate…again. Finally we got to the 9:30. It is Edge’s last show in that this is his last cruise with NCL. I have no idea who will come here in his place but they have big shoes to fill.

Right now I’m looking at Deanna’s pics as she scrolls through them. She has some great ones. Deanna wants me to tell you I’m awesome because I do the laundry. You know what, America? She’s right. Laundry was “my chore” at home. She would do dishes probably at least a 60-40 split with me being the 40%, and I rarely deep cleaned the bathroom or kitchen. Well, of laundry, dishes, kitchen cleaning and bathroom cleaning, guess which three you don’t need to worry about on ships? Here’s a hint: laundry isn’t one of the three. The nice thing is that it works nicely with my workout. I put in laundry, I work out, and they’re ready for the dryer.

I had three soft serve ice creams today. One was in honor of the CSz buyout. The other two were safety cones incase CSz needed more honor.

Day 22

Sea Day. Today was a mish-mash of activities. I slept in after not being able to sleep much the night before. I managed to get myself out of bed to grab a bite, work out, and grab a bite.

At 3:00 Deanna and I went to Swing Dance lessons. That was pretty fun. Andy and Mike were there too.

Later Deanna and I had a sea day dinner with Jon Paul, Johnny, and Candy from the JARs. That was fun. They’re all fun to hang out with.

I feel like this is one of my worst recaps.

We’re trying to get some Christmas cards out. No promises. I doubt we’ll actually get any out tomorrow while we’re in Miami, so that means we probably won’t get any our until the 16th. Also, good luck to us getting your cards if you sent one. Mail isn’t the best.

Robyn Norris is now living in Las Vegas. She performs for Second City at the Flamingo. If you go out there, please see their show and bring her a can of Coke. She says pepsi is everywhere out there and boy does she hate pepsi.

Day 21

George Town, Grand Cayman. Today was great. Last night was not. It was a fitful night of sleep. By the time I felt like I could fall asleep, it was too late. Tender boats. Around 9am the sounds of tender boat winches, announcements of which ticket holders can now board the boats…plenty to keep a guy awake. Our plan was to go into town and go snorkeling. My last attempts at snorkeling had been between mediocre and disastrous. I wasn’t looking forward to it. Add to that that we had improv shows to do at night. I felt like takin’ it easy and debated heading in at all.

I decided to go, and there was mention of snorkeling so I brought my stuff. We went to a place called Cemetary Beach.Why? There is a cemetery right there. Supposedly there was good snorkeling there. Yeah, right…right? I grabbed my snorkel stuff and headed down to the water. I figured I would at least just practice breathing in the shallow areas while everyone else had fun.

At about 5 feet out…about 1 foot deep…I could see a couple fish swimming around. Then a big school of really tiny fish. Then a group of bigger fish coming out. I yelled up to Mike to grab my camera for me (in its waterproof case). I started shooting like crazy. Within a few moments I realized my breathing was normal, I was floating, and I had been out there a while. Apparently I just needed a camera in my hand to help me out.

My camera has a special “underwater mode” that color balances things. Unfortunately the switch is easy to hit with my thumb and that usually puts it in video mode. I took a lot of little video clips thinking it was taking photos. So I have photos and videos from my first successful snorkeling. I saw a lot of different things. The best was a huge lobster that I have an ok photo of. I dove down to get a better photo of it when it went under a rock and my batter died. Nuts!

Shows were good tonight. The exact right amount of “adult material” in the late show. Deanna was on fire. Afterward we ran into JAR Christopher in Fyzz and he danced with Deanna to “Raining Men”…I got it on video and will youtube it eventually.

Hopefully I’ll have more time in Miami to download videos. Eventually I’ll add links over on the side there.

Day 20

Cozumel, Mexico. We made it into town today before a rehearsal. Mostly shopping. I needed a pair of sunglasses and ended up doing my first haggling. I wanted a pair of silver aviator glasses. One of the vendors there said they had some in their store. I went in, asked how much and he said $35. I think I laughed. I was looking to spend $10 for a cheap pair, and these were cheap. I said $10. He said “Come on…I can give you these [other ones] for $10.” So I left. On my way back past that same shop an older guy said “you wanted glasses, right?” I said yes. He said $15. So if you let them know you want something specific your best tactic is to then walk out and walk back by.

We had rehearsal and two shows. Edge and some of the dancers (Jon Paul and Christopher for sure) were at the 9:30 show. We all (us and the people just mentioned) went out for drinks and had a fun time.

Other than that, pretty tame.

Day 19

Sea Day. I’m sitting here looking at a screen trying to think about what I did today. Deanna and I have been trying to check out some of the additional activities. Today we made origami flowers and went to a guitar class.

We also got together for a good old fashioned game of hackey sack. Mike really pushes this. There is a netted in area with a tennis/basketball court that we were going to play on, but it was being used. I suggested the golf practice area because it is netted as well. Mike found an area that was dangerous in that the only thing stopping the sack from going in the water was an 8ft high metal wall. Yep, I kicked it over. Yep, it went in the water. I was going to post about how Jen is the All-American athlete of our group because she kicked butt at Wii boxing and hackeysack, but we didn’t get to play long enough for me to give her a 100% vote of confidence. Although she did try to kick the sack when it was about head-level for her.

Other than that we ate and worked out and saw the JARs in Band on the Run again. This time from the 2nd row.

In other news, Happy Birthday Blaine. Also, look out America…Ben Johnson is coming back to take advantage of your exchange rate he’s heard so much about.

Day 18: For Reals

Miami, FL. Nothing much to talk about today…I think. We went into Miami and took care of some shopping and business. I was jonesin’ for some TV so I camped out in the gracious Holiday Inn and caught up on Beauty and the Geek. I think there is only one more episode of that show remaining. I picked that one because they only keep two episodes online at a time. I also need to catch up on Survivor: China, Kid Nation, The Office, Heroes, and Last Man Standing.

Typical cruise start. Everyone on a shiny new ship and they don’t know where they are…but they soon find the ice cream and all hell breaks loose! This cruise seems a little younger than the last one. Apparently the older people go on the 9-day cruises and the younger ones hit the 5-days.

Tomorrow is a sea day and then Cozumel the next. We perform on Cozumel day. Now that we’re repeating cruises I can’t guarantee that these will remain daily, but I have gotten used to sitting down and writing at night. So, maybe?

Right as I started typing this the news was on with “entertainment” as the current segment. Christina Agulera finally comes out about her pregnancy. She finally did! I don’t know what took her so long! Oh, wait…WHO CARES?! People, I beg you…stop. Why do we care? Christina is right on the edge of the group of blondes…she at least seems to have some sanity and intelligence. Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears…am I missing anyone? Please, stop caring about these girls so they’ll go away. In my “biz” I take a lot of suggestions for improv. When I ask for celebrities I need to add a caveat because 90% of the time it is one of them or Michael Jackson.

I digress.

Day 18: Prelude

We're in Miami. The bandwidth flows like wine. Photos have been updated on flickr.com (search Rance Rizzutto Photography...it's really easy and it is free to sign up). More as the day unfolds.

Day 17

Yet again at sea. We will be in Miami tomorrow and pick up a new crew. There may be a few people staying on, but not many. We do 5 and 9 day cruises…if you do them both in a row, congrats. You’ve just done a 14 day cruise.

Not much going on today so we kept a sharp eye on activities. After eating and going to the gym we went to the 3:00pm crew show. This was mostly various crew members singing songs. Imagine singing karaoke, but you don’t get to see the words, you have a live band playing the music, and there are 1000 attentive viewers. That is what it was like. At the end the cruise staff did a show called “Fountains”. There are about 8 people on the cruise staff. They were all dressed in toga-esque clothing and came out with water pitchers. The gist is they put water in their mouths and spit it on each other. It is much more entertaining than the gist makes it feel. I video-taped it and will hopefully get it on youtube.

The next big event on the agenda was Wii Boxing from 6:30-8:00. I let everyone know about it. Jen showed up. Wii games are great. After an 8 year old and his dad/grandfather played it was time for Jen and I to play. She destroyed me. If you don’t know what Wii is like, you have a control in your hand that I think they call a wand. You have to actually move the wand to play. As in, when I punch in real life my character punches as well. Well, while playing Jen the kid kept saying “you’re getting beat by a girl!” so I said “you play her next.” He lost too. I got beat twice by Jen and twice by the kid. Finally, in my last match against Jen, I won. It was my first win! I played for the first time about a week ago and had the idea that we should try to arrange it so that it is “Play Wii against the Second City!” Well, when Jen and I were playing, and Mike and Andy (who showed up and played after my victory) we really got the crowd going. It will work after people have seen us do a show.

I went straight from there to the show. It was a combo of Andre & Cirell and Edge. Then I pretty much ate and came back to the room. Tomorrow is Miami day and I want to catch up on some TV via the intertnet.

Day 16

Still at sea. Today was lazy. Although we had a barely early morning for a safety briefing. There are water tight doors in the lower areas that are big and can easily crush you. The safety guy couldn’t stress enough that we should never try to go through a door if it is opening or closing. If it moves, you don’t. There are multiple ways to open and close the doors (a switch, and a crank incase there is loss of power and the switch doesn’t work. As we were being shown how to use the door a cook walked through…a major no-no. There were a lot of other crew around and the safety manager had them stop the cook and tell him to come back. Busted! He had to stand around while we finished our briefing before he got a talkin’ to.

Other than that the day was very mellow. I did more laundry…which was a little bit of a fight for time with the machines because of it being a sea day. Everyone finds time for laundry on sea days.

I went to the crew store for the first time. Got lost looking for it, but I found it eventually. Mostly beverages and toiletries.

What else…hmmm. I fell asleep at some point.

Other than that we had our improv shows tonight. Good times. In between we managed to catch most of the JARs show. Tonight was special in that it was a rough sea day. They really had to stay on guard with the waves hitting the ship.

After the improv shows we stayed to watch the Quest…the game show where groups need to bring items down to the stage to get points. Early on a woman bit it pretty hard. This is not a game to play drunk. We then met up with Edge the juggler and had a nice dinner.

Pretty casual. Tomorrow should be just as exciting.

Day 15 pt 2: Forgotten Tales

A few things I forgot to mention…and even in just typing that I re-forgot one of the things. But the main one is remembered.

If you are not caught up, you’ll want to read Day 13 before continuing. Specifically, “Let’s talk about hair braiding…”
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All caught up? Let us continue.

That lady with the braids in the Rascal? Yeah. She has been trumped. Last night while watching the Andre and Cirell show we noticed Jen and Larrance coming in late up in the upper section/box seats. A little later than them came a larger gentleman (who was very inebriated the night of our show) with dark hair who had the top of his head done in tiny braids with white beads. He could be one of those Budweiser “Real Men of Genius” guys. He would be Mr. Caribbean-beaded-braid-wearer. So, kudos, Mr. Caribbean-beaded-braid-wearer. You have helped make one lady in a Rascal look not so out of place.

Also, it is amazing how easily adults can turn into two year-olds. Not temper-wise, but lack of special recognition-wise. People will stop in the middle of a slim walkway and have conversations, press the elevator button and then back up so that they block the stairs, or even stop and just start walking backwards. One woman even stood out of the way, facing towards Deanna and I as we were walking, and once we were inches away just walked right in front of Deanna as if she wasn’t there. You know, like a two year-old running around as if they’re the only one in the world.

Another thing. Hey, soft serve ice cream machine…I get it. You’re free and delicious. Stop being so tempting already.

I remember the other thing I wanted to do…answer some comments. Pardon me if I get the names wrong as I am not actually online as I write this.

Dear Dad, your core is your set of core muscles like your abs and what nots…the stuff that keeps babies from falling over when they sit up. Unless they’re really young babies.

Dear Not-Zach-Thompson, stop reading Zach’s secret messages.

Day 15

Castries, St. Lucia. Boy, did things happen today. We started off heading out into the port. It is important to say our ship was well secured to the dock and we didn’t need to take tender boats…you’ll understand later. All of us AND Alexsandria (the ballroom dancer from the JARs, and I feel like her name is spelled differently) got a taxi to go to a beach. Both Jen and Andy have different Caribbean books that tell you tons of stuff about places. We chose a beach called “Red We” (spelled in a much more French way probably…I never saw the name in writing. This beach was pretty crowded, but we did find a nice spot. I spent most of my time in the water…it is a whole different ball game than the Oregon Coast or Lake Michigan. The water is warm. See?

We were there for a couple of hours. We saw a majority of the other dancers while we were there, but then headed back. We probably got back around 2:30 and then I headed up to the Garden to get food. I was sitting on the very back of the ship on deck 12 with Andy. Here is where it gets interesting.

The ship felt like it was getting hit by some minor waves, then bigger, then it felt like the engine was kicking into gear or something and the whole ship was shaking. Right next to the ship on the pier was a cargo crane that was shaking. Earthquake, dear readers. St. Lucia had an earthquake. And because we were well secured to the dock (remember?) the pier was basically shaking the ship. Everything was ok, but it was exciting.

After eating I planned on chilling out for an hour then working out. Well, I caught the very beginning of Nicholas Cage in Next…so I had to watch that.

Tonight we had a new (to us) act on the ship. Andre & Cirell. Two comedian/impersonators/singers who have been working together for 33 years. The show was definitely geared toward an older audience, but that is what they had and they got a huge standing ovation in the first show. Deanna and I then hustled of to our first Second City workshop. It was at night so we turned it into a jam (we teach a game and then others can play) with a Q&A at the end. It went over very well.

From there we met in the Spinaker Lounge for a show called the Liars Club. Four guest entertainers (Andy, and Larrance were two of them) are given a word. One of them gives the correct definition and the other three give fakes. The crowd tries to guess who is telling the truth in each of four rounds. That was pretty fun. Right after that was Ship ‘n’ Males. Crew doing Chippendales dancing. There were three cruise staff and one of the dancers doing the “male dancing”. The highlight was the host. Another of the dancers (Chris) in drag was the host. His hosting bits were great. There will be pics up of him with Deanna.

After that (see? Lots of stuff!) we went to a crew party in the crew bar with our newly given privilege. It was exactly the situation I don’t care to be in…cramped, loud, hot…but it was good to be able to hang out with everyone not in our cast in a more relaxed-for-them atmosphere.

Right now we’re on the sea, and we will be until we get to Miami on Sunday. It is Thursday.

Day 14

Norwegian Jewel, Barbados. You might be thinking “Hey, ‘Norwegian Jewel’ seems like an odd name for a city.” Well, I didn’t get off the ship. We had a rehearsal scheduled for 2:30 and I wanted to chill out and drink water. Sounds like a real party, eh? I also needed to iron my show shirt so there was a huge 10 minutes out of my schedule.

We rehearsed and ironed a few more kinks out of our improv musical ending. This was sort of a new show for us because it had been 9 days since our first shows and we were changing the running order…we lost one sketch, changed an improv game and switched places of two sketches.

So today for me was pretty much all rehearsal and shows. We had a good 7:30 show and a great 9:30 show. The JARs saw our show for the first time since they’re finally done with their major rehearsing…some even managed to see for the second time as well in the same night. It’s nice to have them see what we do and not just have us be the strangers who keep trying to talk to them and congratulate them on shows they do.

Speaking of mingling. We just found out that we’re now allowed to go to the crew bar, crew store, and general crew areas. This is great because it makes it easier to get to know the other crew members. This means we have shiny name tags. Huzzah!

Since I didn’t really go anywhere today I’m also not really sure where we’re headed tomorrow off hand. Luckily there is a Freestyle Daily (the ship’s daily newsletter) that will tell us what is up.

One more note. We’ve had 5 days of anonymity…now we’re “Second City” or more likely “the comedy people.” It’s fun chatting up people after the shows…I hope it remains fun and doesn’t get creepy or stalkery. Stay tuned, dear readers!

Day 13

St. John’s, Antigua. Today was pretty easy. Most of us met for breakfast and decided to head into town on our own. We were at an actual pier today so it was easier to get on and off the ship. St. John’s had a lot of shops and a cool little public market near Heroes Park (pics to come to flickr). Deanna and I walked around on our own. We ended up getting massages and I got some shopping done for our upcoming Secretest of Santas.

There are a few things you can always count on when we port.
A) there will be at least 10 guys right outside the pier gate with laminated maps asking if you need a taxi. The map is theirs, but they can show you places on it to get you on a cab.
B) there will be someone selling necklaces and jewelry…usually the same jewelry you’ll see on every port and definitely multiple times in that city.
C) there will be women offering hair braiding. Someone will always get their hair braided in a port before coming back on the ship.

Let’s talk about hair braiding, shall we? It’s pretty much corn rows. Lots of little braids with beads on the end…ala Bo Derek in “10”. The braiders will try to get you in to braid your hair. If you say you don’t have time they will say they can do a partial…this is braids from the front of your head to the crown/back of the top of your head and the rest left alone. So, someone will get this done…it is nature’s law. Someone else will see that person and decide for some reason that it is a good idea and they will get their hair done as well. Today, while we were sitting at a coffee place we saw a lady from our ship. She is overweight, in her 60s, and was in a Rascal…with braids. On the one hand I feel like she might not have made the best choice. On the other hand, when will she get a chance to have her hair braided in the Caribbean again, right? She is living it up. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. I want to get a single braid at some point.

Tonight we did a few things. We watched Wii bowling from 7-7:30. I caught Edge the juggler (object manipulator) teaching a workshop to a bunch of people. If you ever are somewhere like a ship or Vegas and you see that Edge is doing some sort of juggling show…see it. He is great. We then saw the JARs show Country Gold. It was pretty entertaining considering I might have known one song they sang. They looked like they were having a blast up there.

After that we went for a walk and I saw a cool moon reflection. There were scattered clouds. One was blocking the moon so that we couldn’t see it, but we could see a silvery reflection on the water way out at sea. As if the moon was trying to tell us where the treasure was.

We have a lot of ground to cover to get to Barbados tomorrow. Jen said the ship would probably be moving pretty quickly and would probably be rocking more than usual. Right now it is, and I’m a little queezy. Luckily it is bedtime and I’ll hopefully sleep through it.

Day 12

Tortola, British Virgin Isles. Today was a visit to Tortola. I barely took any pics here. We tendered into town and immediately got a cab for Brewer’s Bay. It is a beach that isn’t talked about by the excursion desk, therefore, not crowded. It was a 20 minute cab ride away up and over the island. This, dear readers, was my first snorkeling adventure. This spot is a place that Jen and Larrance found last year when they were here. What did I learn? I like having my feet on the ground. There was a lot of silt, I couldn’t see much, and I found it harder than hell to relax and breath. Luckily everyone there was supportive with reassuring “yep”s. It was like this for all of them too. Deanna was fantastic in helping me ease into it. They were seeing stuff further out. We went out for a second attempt, but I wasn’t quite ready. It’s actually nice to find something that I have a fear of so that I have a point of reference for when I make progress. The hardest part, I found, was circumventing the instinct in my body. When your face is in water, breathing is bad…that is the instinct. But snorkels are used for just that…breathing.

Anyhow, we were on this beach for a couple hours. I actually started getting a tan through all the sunscreen I’ve been putting on.

I’ve been working out a lot and eating a lot (Fuel the machine!)…this leaves me tired more than usual. Add to that a day at the beach and I was wiped out.

Also, if you want a good core workout, live on a ship. The constant slight rocking…you get a good core.

Tonight we ended the day with games. Jen bought a card game called Quao (cow). To explain it is to give away too much. It is fun. Tomorrow we’re in…St. John’s, Antingua.

Day 11

Samana, Dominican Republic. A little town. Jen remembered it as a town with poor children selling trinkets, shrewd bargainers with wares, and wild dogs roaming the streets. Well, there were some kids offering to sell shells. There were a couple of little markets with jewelry, art, and other stuff. There were two dogs. So, things have changed a little Jen was here last. People were indeed trying to get your attention, but they were quick to realize when you weren’t about to buy anything. A major factor could be that I’m more intimidating than Jen and I’m really good at “aloof”. Deanna and I did buy a couple paintings and one is hanging on the wall right now…via magnet hook since the walls are all metal.

I had a little moment today. If you get a chance to do a job that lets you travel, take it. I was sitting on the bed watching part of that Julia Roberts movie where she’s an art teacher in a 50’s era all girls school…you know the one. I was eating a turkey burger, watching that, and then I turned to look out the window (see pics when I get them updated) to see an island with palm trees. I had momentarily been sucked into a normally routine of TV and food that snapped me out of “I’m on a cruise” mode. Why can I see palm trees out my window? We were using our own tender boats today so we had a clear view.

Tonight we get a chance to see “guest entertainers” perform. There are entertainers like us and the JARs who are on the cruise for an extended amount of time…then there are guest performers who just perform for the cruise. Tonight will be quick change artists. They have to change complete outfits. This is the gist of it. I’ve seen a quick change act on youtube once that was pretty amazing.

Speaking of youtube, I have two videos that I’ll be getting on youtube eventually. One is the final number of the cruise, and the other is Deanna dancing with the guy on the ferry back to Cozumel. So, keep an eye out.

Day 10

Sea day. We slept until about 11am, but that is including turning the clocks ahead one hour. Today was a day of eating, working out, chilling out, and not much more. I finally saw Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer today. I thought it was ok. It helped that I thought it would really be awful.

Tomorrow were in Samana, Dominican Republic. I know little of what to expect.

Oh! We went to the VIP party. They have it every cruise for the people staying in the suites. We chatted up some fun couples. This is a fun opportunity for us to get to know them.

Boring blog. Oh well.

Day 9

One cruise enters, one cruise leaves. Deanna and I took a Miami adventure today. We decided to get on the metrorail and go to Coconut Grove. On this journey we saw a fight. It was a stupid fight for a stupid reason and I wish I could have helped stop it, but it started right as the doors closed on the tram. It was irritating. I at least told a transit security officer about it.

We ate at Tutu Tangos…a Tapas place recommended by Marla…who also recommended Coconut Grove.

Once we got back on board with a fresh new set of passengers we found out some info. Our first show…is on Wednesday. It is now Friday. Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Tomorrow is a Sea Day, but the five days after that are all port days.

On our last cruise we were in western/southern Caribbean. This cruise we’re heading east. More on that as it happens.

Tonight we played our first match of Settlers of Catan. A board game worth researching. Also of note, last night we played in The Quest. It is a ridiculous game where they get teams together to do ridiculous things. We tied for second place. When they came to us as a team in the beginning we said “we’re second city.” To let them know they might not want us to play since we’re working on the ship. They didn’t care and encouraged it. We played enough to encourage people to compete, but not win prizes. They were thankful. Tonight Deanna and I stopped by Fyzz and danced in a dance like the electric slide but different. They were thankful as well. It’s fun to join in on these things to have fun and know not to become the focus. It also helps that we’re pretty anonymous until Wednesday.

Right now I’m watching Surf’s Up. A computer animated movie about penguins surfing. I remember the previews in theaters and thinking it looked like a stupid movie. It’s actually pretty good. It is all documentary style. I recommend it as a fun li’l movie.

Day 8

Happy Thanksgiving! Today is a sea day and we’re in Miami tomorrow. Free internet! And that means there will be more photos up on my flickr (www.flickr.com, search Rance Rizzutto Photography). I may even have time to put some of them on my Not-So-Daily photo blog.

Last night Deanna and I went out to dinner with plans to go to ballroom dancing lessons and then a show. I, however, was beat. I was struggling to keep my eyes open at dinner. We came back to the room and decided to take a quick nap instead of dancing and then go to the show. I woke up from the nap still tired. Deanna went to the show and I crashed. I slept for about 12 hours. FREESTYLE CRUISING!

Tonight we’re all having dinner together and maybe playing games.

Day 7

Today…well…today was lazy. We ported in George Town, Grand Cayman. Today is the day that Beth and Matt left the ship. We’re on our own now. We saw them off and then got off the boat ourselves. The main/closest attraction is Seven Mile Beach. We walked toward it but we’re not sure if we ever got to it. We just sort of relaxed. The water was nice. We saw some fish jump out of the water a few times, a bird (a tern maybe?) dive in to catch fish, some other bird spear fish, a little sting ray right along the shore, even some wild chickens.

We then headed back to the ship and will be taking it easy.

I hope Beth made it back okay. There is supposedly snow in Chicago. I’m moments away from actually posting the last few entries…here goes!

Day 6

Cozumel! Or, in our case, Playa de Carmen! Mexico, baby! We got off the ship around 9:30am and were dead set on making it to the 10:00am ferry to mainland Mexico. There was some sort of parade going on on the Cozumel side. A bunch of students representing their schools or something. See the photos (when I get them online).

We made the ferry. It was jumpy and 30 minutes long, but it got us to Playa de Carmen. A lot of shops trying to call us to their wares…people with animals they put on you for photos (we opted for the monkeys…again, wait to see pics).

**THIS SECTION FOR ZACH THOMPSON ONLY**
They had a TON of wrestling masks like the ones you have…AND one I almost got for Miette that was in the same fashion of the wrestling masks but it was clearly Dora the Explorer…I got pics.

**BACK TO EVERYBODY**
After being on the ship a little and having slightly rough seas last night I discovered something once we got of the ship. I had land sickness. I would be walking around the city and it felt like it was swaying. Be it vertigo or whatever…I’m calling it land sickness.

Our ferry back to Cozumel was with a different company because our initial ferry didn’t have one coming back when we needed it to. On this new ferry there was a three person band. One guy on congos, one on keys (playing trumpet sounds and setting pre programmed beats) and a lead singer. Salsa-esque/Hispanic music. Deanna was pretty much in the front row. At one point the congo player said something to Deanna in Spanish and then said “where are you from?” She said “the states”. He said some more in Spanish and people laugh good heartedly. At another point he got up and started dancing with Deanna…THAT gem is on video and will be on youtube soon.

Tonight we have our two improve only, or “scriptless” shows. More on that once we do them.

Post shows: They went fine. Matt played with us in the first one and that was a blast. We had to cut stuff out of our lineup in the first show due to time. We had to stretch in the second one. The second one is the “adult show”. There were a couple kids there and in our first game we got the suggestion of Kama Sutra. Andy then asked the person who suggested it to describe what it was. The person said “Sexual positions.” I got to watch a couple kids get awkward explanations from their parents. All in all it was great. Deanna had some hilarious stuff, as did we all.

Tomorrow we’re in George Town, Grand Cayman. It is the day Matt and Beth leave, and our first day “off”. The day after that? Thanksgiving.

Fun fact. Every night Deanna turns on the TV to a movie and falls right to sleep. Tonight she had coffee and was worried she wouldn’t sleep well. As I type there is a movie on the TV and a sleeping Deanna by my side. All is well.

Day 5

Sea day. This entire day was spent at sea on the way to Cozumel Mexico. It is also our very first show day aboard the Jewel. We ran rehearsals all day in one form or another. A full run through before there was something else scheduled in the theater. Some work on our musical improv ending. (I just noticed that Word tries to turn “improv” into “improve”…I may have missed some of those earlier)

We did our first of two shows for the night. There were a few audience members who kind of heckled…meaning, a couple of the times they yelled out stuff it felt like it maybe was a spot where it was ok to yell something, but barely. All in all it went really well. The second one as well.

As the night went on the water got a little more choppier. Right now as I write this I am feeling it pretty bad, but not bad enough to call it “sea sick”. I’m going to go to sleep and wake up to find us in Cozumel!

Day 4

Miami day. Mental note…don’t try to sleep in on disembarking day. There are announcements all morning as each “group” is called to leave. We met for breakfast and to leave. I think we got off around 11am. It was a long walk to get from the ship into town, but short enough to not cab it.

I found out where bayside mall was, holiday inn, and I heard rumors of Walgreens. I had some web work to do so I went straight for the internet access while most everyone else went to Walgreens. We then met up and headed to the mall. I needed to hit up an ATM. You should tip the room stewards every cruise, and to do that I needed cash. I went to take out $100…I got a receipt but no cash, AND we were in a time crunch. I called the number on the ATM and the recording said to take it up with my bank. The number on my bank card isn’t in numbers, but in an easy to remember letter combo like 800-THE-BANK…only my phone doesn’t have the standard letters on the numbers because it is designed for texting. So, I had to write out the phone pad because every time I tried to do it in my head I would get distracted. THEN I realized I added the ‘Q’ which offset the remaining letters by 1. I dialed three wrong numbers before narrowing it down. Once I got through the recording said all the operators were busy and just said call back. I was pissed. I remembered the moment because there is a scene where I am supposed to get really angry in our show. I will now think of the ATM during that scene. As we walked back I got through to my bank and all should be ok.

We had another rehearsal and we are going to meet to eat tonight.

This is a fresh group of passengers and the first group that will see us. We perform tomorrow and Tuesday.

Other things realized this week…Thanksgiving is this week. I’m on a ship in the Caribbean for thanksgiving. Just like the pilgrims.

Day 3: For Reals

We were in Nassau today. Briefly. We still had rehearsing to do, but we were able to get out for a little bit. Right in the port was a Navy destroyer and there were a couple Bahaman (Bahamian?) police in fatigues and carrying machine guns. Right in the water by the port there were fish in the blue blue water. I have pics coming soon.

We basically walked around the main part of town. Lots of little shops.

It was then time to go to Atlantis…the casino in Nassau. Catching a taxi is much easier than in Chicago…and it is pretty easy to get a cab in Chicago. If you even pause on a street and look towards traffic they will start honking and asking if you need a cab. We found one and went to Atlantis. They have a cool aquarium there…there is a public part, and then you can continue to the awesome part for $32. We were thrilled enough with the normal part.

After getting some food there and checking it out we ended up in a taxi with 4 other people. Our cab driver decided to give us trivia and bits. “To our right is a development of underground condos” (cemetery) “This cemetery has been around since the 1600s. Do you know how many people are in there?” No. “All of them!” Now, I think he should have said do you know how many dead people from the 1600s are in there or something like that. He then moved on to trivia. How many islands make up the Bahamas? Over 7000. What are the colors of the flag? I said blue, yellow, and black. I know I was right, because I like flags and had noticed the flags around town…but there was also a flag sticker on the windshield. What do the colors stand for? I guessed that the top and bottom blue stripes stood for the sky and water, the yellow stripe in the center was sand. I was right on the blue stripes. The yellow is sun, and the black triangle stands for the people.

All in all…a good time.

We came back and saw a lady and her daughter or grand-daughter jump in the water…and then swim towards the destroyer (because that is where the ladder was). We thought for sure it was a) illegal and b) they would get arrested. They got out with no problem.

Every port has a photo op as you get off the ship. In Freeport there were two people dressed as pirates (one at each of the two exits). In Nassau there were people dressed in bright clothes and dreadlock wigs. There is then a whole section of the ship where you can find photos the next day available for purchase. More on these as we see them…I did snap a pic of the Rasta day.

We had a great rehearsal and really nailed down some scenes. Deanna and I managed to catch the Jean Ann Ryan Company’s other show, Cirque Bijou before dinner. Something I managed to remember…in the pre-show music a song came up from my childhood. There is a strange album that my parents had that I doubt many other people had. It is called Oxygen (might be Oxygene) by Jean Michael Jarre or something really close to that. All synthesizer. The Yanni of his day I’d imagine. I used to listen to that album all the time as a kid…and one of those songs was in the pre-show music for Cirque Bijou. I’ve looked for this album on iTunes a couple times with no luck. This gives me hope.

We had dinner in the Tsar’s Palace and a photographer came around and took pictures of us sitting at our table.

Tomorrow is the journey back to Miami. We should be able to get a mailbox and some sweet free internet access.

Day 3: Teaser

Just a quick note or two.

a) I'm using internet on the boat. I've been blogging in word and then copying and pasting to save minutes.

b) I have a lot of photos that I'll be working on and getting ready to download when we're in Miami on Sunday (hopefully)

c) Hey, previous casts on the Jewel...what were all the t-shirts for in your prop bag?

Day 2 Pt 2

The Edge’s show was great. I mostly enjoyed the way he engaged the audience was fantastic. Great reffing tricks for CSz.

We had a nice dinner at 9:00pm and then hung out. Tomorrow we’ll be heading into town and checking out our first island.

Day 2

Today started off at 3:15am. Did it seem like yesterday started then as well? Yes. Deanna used her phone as an alarm yesterday and it was still set. I jolted out of bed to find the auditory intrusion. I grabbed her phone from where the sound was coming from…but I had her camera…and the sound wasn’t coming from her camera. I finally got it shut off and went back to bed. As soon as I got back in bed the phone started vibrating with new messages. Next time, the phone loses a battery.

The plan was to wake up at 8:00am, workout, shower, and meet everyone at 10:00 for breakfast and to find out what’s what. The 8am didn’t happen.

We met everyone and found out we had a window of time to work in the theater. I guess this ranked high up on the “awesome scale”…for different reasons:

1) Since Second City is not prop intensive (no “set design” being used…especially in comparison to the JARs reviews (reminder: JARs= Jean Anne Ryan dancers)…they are lower on the list to actually rehearse in the Stardust Theater. It just so happens there are about 7 or so dancers who are leaving (some today, some tomorrow) which means there are other dancers coming in who need to rehearse. So, we theoretically would be low on the list. We found out we could be in the theater from 11-3 because The Edge (a juggler) is doing a show tonight. He would be able to set up stuff behind the curtain while we did whatever.

2) The sound guys, Matt and Alex, were able to get us set up with our mics right before they left to head into port. Another big plus. So, at this point we’re on stage and we have mics.

3) We did a quick T&B (show terminology moment for family: T&B=Tops and Bottoms where we just run the beginnings and ends of scenes to make sure everyone is getting to the right places, with the right props at the beginning of the scene and moving props and getting off stage or to the next scene start place at the end) and went to lunch. Right before lunch we were about to go looking for our tech guy, Sean/Shaun/Shawn to see if Matt could start setting up light cues in the system. At about the same time we thought “we should call Sean” he walked into the light booth. While we were at lunch he started doing light cues and continued after we came back and ran White Guys (song with the guys) a bunch to fine tune it.

So, it is Friday. We were able to do a full run with set light cues and be done by 3:30…three days before our first show. On the ships that is called “ahead of schedule”. When I ran into Beth on our lunch break I said Matt was setting light cues and she was surprised in a good way.

Another good thing is we were in a port that everyone we talked to (on crew) said was basically shops and that you would need to take a 30 minute cab to get to the actual city. We were in Freeport. From the ship it looked like a port and Cargo loading facility. Matt was trying his best to get us done by 1 today but we all agreed we would rather work today and be able to get off the ship in Nassau tomorrow. Whether that happens I don’t know. I’m just glad we’re in a good place with the show.

After all was said and done I went to work out for the first time on the AND in a while. Pretty good. I’ve been trying to take advantage of the food and eat a lot, but keep it healthy.

One REALLY hard thing to get used to is not cleaning up after yourself. It seems like it shouldn’t be that hard of a thing since you never really bus your own tables at restaurants, but when your table is full of plates and you personally brought those plates there…it is weird.

We’re going to check out Edge’s show tonight and catch dinner with everyone at 9pm. Plus…IT IS FORMAL NIGHT! YIKE!

Day 1

Early start. I, of course, tried to stay up until our 4:00am cab. No dice. I took a shower around 2:00am and went to bed around 2:30. I probably got about 30 minutes of sleep. Deanna and I lugged our luggage (luggage…lugged…same root?) downstairs and had the fastest cab in Chicago pick us up. He wasn’t going super fast, but fast enough over bumps to make someone with no sleep get angry.

At the airport we discovered that the Delta counter didn’t open until 4:30am. Deanna and I were the first of our group to arrive. We waited in the line that was already forming when we saw Andy checking his luggage outside. We opted for that. Jen, Larrance, and Matt were right behind us. There was one person in front of us. At the check in there were two guys working. One guy was probably 70, the other in his early 30s. The older guy (we’ll call him Pops)came out to help us because the younger guy (we’ll call him Speedy) was helping the guy in front of us. Speedy finished helping us and moved on to Larrance, Jen and Matt. It seemed like they were all taken care of and ready to go by the time Pops was asking for our names. Frustrating. After waiting and waiting Pops finally printed out our luggage tags and then…after all that…told us two of our bags were overweight. Now, we knew this. We expected it and were told Second City would cover the cost. So I said “Yeah, that’s fine. What’s the charge?” to which he said “you gotta go inside for that.” My frustration must have been visible because Speedy said, “I’ll take care of it. I’ll get you tags.” I tipped Speedy, and paid and sort of tipped Pops. All in all I paid $15 and had to wait a lot. It costs something like $25/overweight bag so Pops saved me $35.

We got to the first leg of our flight no problem. A quick 45 minute flight to Cincinati.All we had to do was get from gate A25 to gate C20 for a flight that leaves in 30 minutes. It meant catching a shuttle…time was precious.

We made it to the gate!...to find out it was delayed until 9:15…then 9:45…then 10:30. In the midst of all this something happened. But first, a story.

Joey travels a lot for Second City Touring Company. On one of his travels he saw George Takei…Sulu from Star Trek, but most recently Hiro Nakamura’s father on Heroes. Todd, who lives downstairs from Joey, went out of town and ran into the actor who plays Mohinder Surresh on Heroes. I joked with them that I would see one too. So who did we see while waiting through delays? Tim Gunn from Project Runway. We had all been up since 4am and looked like slobs or we would have got a picture with him.

Back to the delays. Around the “delayed until 10:30” mark they also let us know that we would need to change gates. We changed to A25. Back we went.

We ended up getting to and on the ship around 3:30 or so. It was a long travel day, but for some reason, non-stressful. We’ve already started making acquaintances with people who the veterans know. We ate buffet, slept, ate buffet, walked around, saw a show…in a nutshell.

When I woke from a nap I started around 5:00 I looked out our window…Oh! We have windows. They are obstructed by life boats, but I could see enough to know it was dark out and there was a city we were moving past. PS. We have Katie and Steve/Brendan and Beth’s room. Deanna was unpacking like crazy. I wanted to get out and watch land go away. As soon as I got out on the deck I felt my first major tip…and it wasn’t that major, but enough to tip water out of the kids pool. You can feel it every once and a while as we go…and yes, I literally mean you.

Tonight we saw The JARs perform their Band on the Run dance review. It was good and what I would expect. The best part was that we got to see a show AND see the stage we would be performing on all in one sitting.

I am now in bed and can feel the waves every so often. I’m trying to type up the blogs as I go and then post when I get access…so let’s hope for the best.

Master Plan or Farewell to Blank

Dear (Person from Chicago),

Thanks so much for being awesome. I love improvising with you. Not just the good times like (time we did something fun onstage i.e. Multiple Savion Glovers under an umbrella), or the weirdly bad times like when (a weird thing happened between you and I on stage i.e. River of Milk). I also enjoy the preshow bits we always do like (Belly full of cous cous, back slap alley, boom shaka).

Mostly I'm just glad our paths have crossed.

I'm off to a four month adventure, but when I get back we can go (do thing we do) like always. Hell, let's do a show together.

I miss you,
R

--------------------------------

PS. Right now I have less than three hours until the cab picks us up for the airport (if it is on time). My plan is to stay up. Then sleep at the airport, on the first plane, and on the connecting plane. I will then get a coffee and head off to the ship. Also, check http://secondcity.com/?id=touring/ncl if you like. We'll be up on it soon and we may even end up as the Spotlight of the Week person at some point.

From this point on I can't guarantee frequency of posts. It all depends on internet speed and agility.

1 is the Dumbest Number

...because it is the number of full days until we leave, and because we're becoming dumb. Deanna can't find her debit card. I have no idea what I did with one of those zip up cd cases that has the DVDs I set aside specifically for the boats (Office, Arrested Development, etc).

Rehearsals have been great. Matt Craig is a great director. I think the thing I like the most is that he continually sees things from our side and keeps us in mind while still getting the show ready. Matt has done plenty around here. He has played for ETC and Mainstage (go to secondcity.com to figure out what those are if you don't know...family). He's played on the ships and I think he might have even directed a ship before. We might be his first ship that he has directed. Regardless, he has a great eye for the sketches and has helped me specifically with making different character choices in some points.

There are three things that go into your sketches in the beginning. You read them via script, you see them via DVD, and you make your own initial character choices. I tried to match the DVDs as much as I could and in some cases that was different than what he suggested.

We have our running order down pretty well. Today we worked on White Guys (a song) and our ending mostly. Tomorrow is our last rehearsal day and then we're on a plane at 6am Thursday.

Right now Joey is tracing his lineage back through time via ancestry.com. He's been on it since we got home.

3 Is A Magic Number...

and also the amount of full days we have left. On Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday we will have rehearsals from 10am-6pm. Our flight is at 6:something am on Thursday.

I shot my last headshot for awhile...at least in Chicago. I plan on going photo crazy on the boat so check out my photoblog or my flickr (search Rance Rizzutto Photography).

Today was spent doing the shoot, running stuff to the storage unit, and packing for the ship. Deanna had her last rehearsals for non-ship stuff.

We had a nice dinner at the Deluxe Diner on Devon and Clark. Deanna and I went there one day merely out of convenience. I think it was when she got back from Italy and was hungry for something that wasn't pasta or pizza. I had a Diner Combo of eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, and french toast. It was GREAT! We've been back at least 5 times and tonight was a tiny farewell dinner.

The service, which has been on the better side of moderate in the past, was awful. There was one guy working out front and one guy in the kitchen. It took forever for them to take our order and longer after that to get our food. I feel like I jinxed it by liking the place so much.

Sam likes this Chinese Buffet place and was really upselling us on it when we left for Maine last year. So we had a farewell dinner there. It sucked...big time. Sam still thinks it is awesome and we are dumb...but guess what...he is dumb...but only about the buffet.

In other news, stories of my dad's infamous Movie Title Flubbery are still making the rounds. Just yesterday Deanna got to tell the story of how he remembered "The Vagina Monologues" as "The Vagina Monocles".

More as I know it.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let Us Go

So...a few things.

1) it was just snowing outside. I'm glad I got to at least see snow before we leave for "Warm Winter". I like snows.

2) As much as I like christmas music...and I think I like it a lot...it started on the radio on 11/1. C'mon. 11/1? These DJs are going to kill themselves if they have to fake warm holiday goodness that long. Every year I listen to that station all season long. I can't bring myself to stick to it this year...too early. You really blew it, radio.

3) In other news... Deanna and I purchased snorkeling equipment among other things today. I also got a new suitcase more designed to accomodate a suit, but not a garment bag. It is bright orange. I dare myself to not find it in an airport. I also scored big time in the "clothes for tall people" department.

Awhile ago I went to DSW (Discount Shoe Warehouse) to look for shoes. It is usually pretty tough to find shoes there because pretty much every brand only fits me if it is a 14, and they generally cut off at 13. When I first moved here I went there with some people from CSz and happened to find a pair of Addidas cross trainers that were 14s. Perfect! So perfect that I've had them for at least three years...probably four. This year they were looking pretty ratty so I went to DSW to look. Nothin'. We decide to try again today while we're out and about. Deanna finds about 5 different 14s. She is a shoe whisperer. I ended up getting a very comfortable pair of black show shoes to replace my rockports (that I've had for close to, if not over 10 years...since my Swagat days), a pair of nice brown shoes, and a pair of Ecco hip blue shoes. Major score.

I also got two pillows. The pillows I have now suck...they SUCK. I hate them. The funny thing about one of them is that it used to be Deanna's and I'd always try to steal it to sleep on. I have it now. And it sucks. It is flimsy...I think feathers...and it sucks. I consider it a paper pillow. The other one I have I only used to put under the paper pillow because I need more...but this thing has become more like a rock. And it sucks. I was telling Deanna as we were looking for pillows that I should get a sharp and jagged one so I could have "scissors" to complete my trilogy of awful pillows. I got two and will be trying them out tonight. Wish me luck.

We found out what sketches we'll be doing. We were sent a running order and most of the scripts. Some of the sketches that we didn't have scripts for yet are ship specific...written for/on the boats. I can't wait to find out more about those. I think I had two or three sketches that I was really hoping we would do. #1 on the list is a song called White Guys, and IT IS IN! I get to do it. It was on the mainstage at Second City not too long ago, and one of the two guys who originally did it is our director. Double bonus.

So, we're excited to get crankin'. We can pick up our hard copies of the scripts tomorrow.

I may be leaving something out, but that is bound to happen.

Habit Forming

At least I hope so. I don't have anything interesting to write about...I'm just writing to get in the habit of writing.

It is getting colder out here. 16 days until that isn't a problem anymore.

I just remembered that I need to pick up some pants I am getting alterred. While in Maine I went to the L.L. Bean outlet store and found some pants that hadn't been alterred yet. A major score for a guy my height. Normally stores with a minimum of moderately fashionable clothes don't carry sizes long enough for my arms or legs. The cut off is usually about an inch short of not looking odd. I have one pair of jeans that are long enough...one. They are a little baggy, AND they now have a grease stain on one knee (from changing the tire in a parking lot) that didn't come out. So...finding pants that are WAY too long is great.

I got inspired, photo-wise, by www.johnrussophoto.com. Celebrity shots. There is an article about him in this month's Rangefinder magazine.

We saw Joey in the Second City home show last night...and everyone else in his touring company (Seth, Robyn, Anthony, Lily). They have a great song about having only a certain amount of battery life left on your cellphone to last you until the next morning. I like the songs. Songs are pretty much sounds...and some of you know how I feel about sounds.

We saw Beth there (she hired us for the cruise ships) and she said our running order was being put together as we speak. "As we speak?" I said. Yes. She just emailed Matt Craig (ex-Second City Main Stage...currently in L.A.), who will be our director. A part of me would have loved scripts weeks ago. A bigger part of me doesn't want scripts until the last minute so I don't memorize it one way before getting director's notes. There are some scenes that I really like that I hope are in our running order...time will tell.

Gotta run. Need my pants.

Deanna's Return Went Flat

Deanna is back! Deanna is back!

First a recap since the last post. Remember how I said I needed to update my phone? Well, they told me the process would take about 30 minutes. It took about 45. What happened during those 45 minutes? At the beginning of them, Sara was assassinated. She had 30 minutes to get to me. By the time my phone updated that 30 minute window had closed. Whoever got her couldn't have planned it better to avoid me.

Late Saturday I went to bed around 1:00am. I had 8 missed calls from around 2:00am on my phone when I woke up. I happen to know the assassin knew 80% that I'd not only be home, but that I'd be asleep.

Today...I was home (which is currently farther north than most people live) and not really planning on going anywhere. I decided to take some stuff south to our storage unit. Right as I got as south as I was going to make it, I got a call. Scot was attacked down town. I was 15 minutes away and in a car. He was saved. He couldn't have called at a better time for me that day.

Which brings us back to tonight. I go to pick up Deanna at the airport. I missed rehearsal because of it, but thought I would head down there secretly to save people. If I was there, people wouldn't attack. If I wasn't (but showed up unannounced) I could save people. Well, I get to the airport. I recall the car pulling a little to the right as I approached the parking lot.

Pick up Deanna. We go to the car. She looks at the front passenger tire and says "Rance, you can't drive the car like this." I assure her it wasn't like that (and by "that" I mean completely flat) when I left. So, I had to bust out the spare for the first time. The car fell off the jack once, but then all was well.

What did this mean? I wasn't going to go to CSz rehearsal to save people. I get called by Megan. She's toast.

Then I remember Kat talking about a conversation with Shad where he said "if there is a medic I would take out his car to get the kill". Did someone flatten my tire? Probably not...but that is how much people get into this game.

Anyhow...DEANNA IS BACK!

Three more weeks and we're on our way!

BlackBuried

I get a lot of spam. A LOT. Normally when I wake up I look at my BlackBerry and I have 100+ emails waiting to be sifted through. This morning?

9

9 emails. Normally this would seem extremely odd to me...except this is the second time it happend in the last month.

If you texted me between, say, 3:00am and 9:30am (Rance Time) I didn't get your message.

I got ahold of my provider to find out there is a bug with my phone that has been fixed. All I have to do is update it. What happens is my phone thinks I'm out of memory even when it isn't, so it deletes emails.

In other news, first attempts were made last night in the assassination game. I had shows and showed up at three different theaters. If you remember, I'm a paramedic. I save people this time around...this means I'm everyone's best friend. I saw people at ComedySportz who asked me where I was going so they could get to me if they got attacked. I saw people at iO, some who were relieved and some who seemed as if I foiled their plans. I saw people at the Playground who didn't seem worried at all.

I was in a midnight show at the Playground. I checked my phone at 1:05am. I had received a call from Nick at 1:03am. He had fallen victim to a letter bomb...and not a clever one at all. We met up and I saved him. Apparently I have 30 minutes to get to people or have them get to me. After I heal them they have an hour of safety.

I think I may turn this into a game for myself. I may start stalking people I think are on the attack...waiting for them to make their move and then popping out of the shadows to save their target.

Or I may prepare for the ships.

The smart people who read this will know I'll be at CSz tonight.

Stop, Drop, and Roll'd

Remember that computer I talked about? The one that fell down the stair while we were moving? (I talked about that, right?) Deanna called me while I was in Maine to tell me it was covered. She also called me later from Italy to tell me it wasn't.

Our insurance only covered fire, theft and flood. I can't believe "moving" wasn't in there.

Tomorrow I plan on seeing how damaged it is. How will I do that? I'm back in Chicago, that's how. In exactly 30 days I'll be in Miami on a ship.

The cheaper(?) travel route to and from Maine seemed to be flying into Manchester, NH and renting a car. I think in the long run it was about the same price as a flight out of Bangor. Manchester is about 5 hours from Maine. Bangor is about 45 minutes away. Ah well. I was on the flight with the most bitchiest, loudest people. It wasn't the worst thing, just odd that everyone was so obnoxious. They were soon trumped by three girls on my 'L' ride home from the airport. You know in those old films where the old deaf people had those horns and always said "eh?" and then people would yell really loud so the deaf person could hear them? These girls were louder. And it was apparently their normal conversation volume.

Anywho. I'm back.

Also, The Assassin Game has started again. Don't remember if I mentioned it last year. A group of people play you get a target and you know someone else has you as a target. You can shoot them in the chest with a nerf dart or squirt gun, touch them in the chest with a spoon ("dagger"), or send them a letter that they have to be the opener of. I got killed by a letter bomb on a gig in Arizona last year.

This year there are 23 people playing. I don't have time to be one of the people, but a few of us had some ideas last year for some new things. This year I am a paramedic. If someone gets attacked and can get to me or one of the other two paramedics within 20 minutes of the attack, they're still in.

So, if you read this and you're an improvisor around town and people look shifty, this is why.

PS. just under half of the players are non-CSz people. Fun at iO!

No TV...Now With Less "No"

If you know me well enough you know that I've cut back on TV.

Back in June Deanna and I decided to cut out TV for a month. It went well enough that we got rid of cable altogether. We would still watch show on DVD, but no TV. Well...that was during the summer. Turns out there are a lot of shows that stop in the summer and start up in the fall. Weird, huh?

The nice thing? Pretty much any show I'm interested in is online. I can watch the full thing online! Thanks technology! The only down fall is I usually have to wait until the next day to watch. Each station has their own rules. NBC shows get posted at 2:00am Pacific time. So if I want to watch Heroes or The Office in Maine I need to wait until 5:00am the day after it originally aired. CBS posts Kid Nation at midnight EST but Survivor: China doesn't show up until the next day.

My current love/pet peeve is Beauty & The Geek. I love this show, but CW is blowing it online. Last week the episode was missing the last two minutes. They have a preview of the next week's episode that never got updated. It is updated now, but the episode isn't and it's been two days. C'mon, CW. Make me like you!

So far Discovery has the smoothest interface and CBS has the buggiest/most likely to suck.

Shows to watch if you haven't? Kid Nation. 40 kids from 8-14 put in a western town that was abandonned and left to do things on their own. They have a town council made up of 4 members (all kids) who showed leadership qualities (kinda. One is an eagle scout, but this bratty turd of a 10 year-old girl is a beauty queen...she sucks). The kids were split into four teams each with a council member as their captain. The show really has tested the kids in making choices between what a kid would want and what the town needs to survive. Each week there is a competition to decide a couple things.

1) it decides the hierarchy and "pay". Upper class gets $1 each and they have no real job...they can do nothing if they like or go help other teams with their jobs. Next is the merchant class. They either get $.75 or $.50 and they run the shops. There is a saloon, and a general store. Third place makes you the cooks ($.25) and you're incharge of feeding the whole town...everyone tries to keep the yellow team (captained by the beauty queen turd) away from this because they barely work. Fourth place gets you a dime and you're cleaning out houses, fetching water, and anything working class.

2) if all four teams finish the challenge within a certain time they win a bonus prize for the town. It's always a choice too...the choice between something kid like and something the town needs. I think the first one was between a TV and 7 extra outhouses. Next was between a huge water slide or an in-town water supply (they have to walk way up to a pump right now)...they didn't all finish in time so they didn't get either. Next was between a microwave and a supply of hot chocolate or a pizza party...the council chose the microwave and the kids hated them for it.

There is a journal the council members read that talks of the failures of the original town settlers who couldn't make the town work and what might make it better. Like establishing a curfew (which they did and the kids actually appreciated it).

This week was about religion. They were going to institute a full town religious ceremony that would allow everyone to bring their religions together. The kids didn't want it because they said everyone would just argue and there have been wars over religious differences. This 9 year old says we don't have to focus on the differences, we can focus on what they share in common. No one listened. He decided to go person to person and take a survey of who was what religion...a 9 year old. And he knew his stuff. He'd ask someone their religion and they might say "Jewish". He would reply "Orthodox or Progressive". They ended up having a non-force gathering that wasn't driven by the council, but put together by another girl. Instead of saying they needed to be there she went and told everyone "this is happening and we'd like you to come, but only if you want to."

These kids are pretty amazing. Also, they are kids sometime. It is hilarious to watch the homesick ones go to the saloon and expressly say "I gotta go to the saloon and get a rootbeer to take my mind of my troubles." Kids doing shots of soda, chugging bottles...hilarity.

Watch that show. It's available online at cbs.com.

ImprovAcadia: Belfast....and other glories

2007-1009-j
Originally uploaded by Rance Rizzutto Photography

Today was the day that Deanna left for Italy. She'll be back in two weeks and we'll be less than a month away from our journey.

Today was also the day that I walked to the L.L. Bean outlet. I packed pretty tight coming out here, but brought a lot of my photo stuff. Three bags in total. And I'm not going to make it back with the same packing...especially after purchasing Cities and Knights of Catan (expansion). Jen, Larrance, and Stuart (see pic) have all gone on the ships before and we've been "talkin' ship" a lot. I have a better idea of what I need to bring. Jen mentioned that the Bean had luggage, so I checked it out. They did.

I have a bunch of suitcases. What I was looking for was a rollerbag that I could fit my current suitcase into along with extra stuff and just check one bag. I found it. A black bag. The fun part is that all of the luggage (since it is an outlet store) is flawed in some manner. How was the bag I picked flawed? It was embroidered with "MASON" on it. I'm Mason now. All of the luggage had names or initials. I checked for some cool combo of letters, but MASON was what I settled on.

I also found three pairs of pants (no pleats!). Two of which had yet to be hemmed...which is perfect for a tall-y like me in a city filled with tailors.

5 shows left in Maine.

The Things I Do For Love

2007-1009-i
Originally uploaded by Rance Rizzutto Photography

This is one of many crappy cut out face things in Belfast, ME. It's not so much that they are crappy, but there were six that I saw in the small town of Belfast (Dorothy, Tinman, Scarecrow, Lion; A dog; A car; bears; and others).

They annoy me. More so because they trick people. You're in a town without much to do...getting your picture taken in one of these things in Belfast is the equivalent of going to the top of Sears Tower in Chicago I think.

It WAS however, crappy in that there was dog crap right behind the thing.

Deanna knows I don't like these things and she wanted me to take a pic in one. So here you go. :)

PS. I have a bunch of photos in my Daily Photo blog over there in the side links, or you can just click on the link under the picture and go to flickr to see them.

"Settle" Down...It's Fun

Things in Maine have been pretty low key. I've been on a few hikes, taken some pics (up on my photo blog soon) and Settled Cattan! I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this game (Settlers of Cattan). It's pretty fun...for all of us but Larrance.

Tomorrow we go into Belfast. A town known for having the game store where I purchased Settlers last year. Also known for having the expansion sets for the game that I'll buy this year.

Major things of note are mostly happening to Deanna. She booked and shot her first commercial AND she leaves on Tuesday for a trip to Italy. I'm pretty damn proud of her.

I wish I could tell you more exciting tales, but we have been accident free since Old Man McEatty rammed us.

Hit Me With Your Best Shot...Wait.

Today was the official Day Off in Maine. Everyone gets Mondays off at the theater. So after putting in two shows I was ready for a well deserved break from all that monotony that two shows can bring. I mean, we're talking about TWO WHOLE SHOWS!

I had one important mission: return the rental car. That went off pretty well.

After that we all decided we'd go for a hike and then catch a movie in town.

It is about 22 miles from the house into town. The main road is two lanes in each direction at 25 miles per hour through the first stretch upon leaving the house. As we were driving we noticed a pickup truck pulling out into traffic. Very slowly, and not entirely into just one lane, but making a wide turn out into our lane. A bunch of people in the right lane stopped. We went around. Everyone, I think, wondered what the hell he was doing. As we passed we noticed it was an old guy.

Later on up the road a bit we were stopped at a light. We were all talking about cruise ships as three of us will be going on the ship together, and the fourth has already been on the cruises (as have the owners of the Maine Theater)...when BAM! It felt like Larrance popped the clutch and the engine died...kind of threw our necks back. Nope. Old guy in a pickup truck rear ended us. We pulled over and they exchaged information. Larrance said he had food all over his face like he was eating in the car. But we also remembered seeing him from earlier and knew it wasn't safe.

***SNAP-DECISION OPEN LETTER***

Dear Old People,

Please surround yourself with family who are smart enough to hide your car keys from you and not let you endanger lives. You may drive slower, but you also favor heavier cars. It's not a contest to see who lives longer and you won't win my taking out younger people with your car. You're scientifically proven* to be more dangerous than drunk drivers.

XOXO,
The World

*that proof has to be somewhere

***END SNAP-DECISION***

We also have been playing a game called Settlers of the Catan. It's hard to explain, but it is fun. I learned how to play last night and gave Jen a hard time about cheating because she didn't explain part of it. It wasn't really cheating. I'm just a razzer by nature.

It is a 3-4player game, but you can buy an expansion set that allows up to 6 people to play. We're going to get the expansion and bring this game on the boats because...get this...there will be six of us.

I also saw Declan on our way to hiking. He works at the theater on Wednesdays so I'll see him again. You may remember him from countless comments on older posts.

The Man In Maine Fall Mainly On His Butt

How's that for a title...it's actually more of a headline because it sums up today quite well.

We are moved. Major step #1 in the "going on the ships" process. Our stuff is in storage. The apartment is clean. We have a place to stay. We're staying with friends and left aside an assortment of "essentials" (crap we thought we would need, but we probably don't) to bring to their place.

Because of our schedules for the next 6 weeks it will be rare that all four of us are living there at the same time. Neither of them were there when we moved in. One major thing that needed to happen was putting some of our stuff in their storage area. Minor glitch...we didn't know where it was, and I had a 10:30 Baby show that night. We came home to a hide-a-bed couch all made up with a note saying we were "effin' crazy" if we didn't just sleep there and store the stuff in the morning. So we did just that.

In the morning I took a small load of stuff down on a hunt for the storage. Found it, checked out the remaining space, then went up stairs for one more load...a plastic tub with office equipment, and my PC. The final elements of our move. As I was walking down the stairs, Deanna said "Be careful!" To which I replied "Relax. I've got this." Not one step later did it appear that I was on a flat area, but there was one step left. I bit it...but not as hard as my PC. It rolled down the remaining stairs as I was crumpled oddly on the remaining stair that I didn't see. I'm mildly injured...just sore really.

I'm writing on my laptop right now...not because my PC died in the fall (I haven't checked it yet) but because I left for the airport this morning. I then arrived in Manchester and drove from there to Maine to play in the 10pm show there. I'll be here for two weeks.

Summary verified.

Remember Me?

I'm slowly going to start getting back into this thing for boat purposes...the Daily Photo too.

We received our first official email/slew of paperwork. It's all starting to happen. We know when we're rehearsing and we know who the cast is (we've known the cast for awhile).

Deanna and I are in the midst of moving out. We move on the 30th...technically on the 27th. I've been spending the last two months slowly preparing. Painting, sorting junk, getting stuff ready to sell. The walls are all white. A bunch of stuff is online or sold. We're doing it. The unfortunate thing is I'm working a gig that takes me out of town 4 of the next 9 days...including coming back around 11pm on the 27th. We have movers coming so at least it isn't Deanna loading a van by herself.

I'm home...well..."home" for the 28th then leave the 29th for Maine.

It should be interesting.

Soon we should be receiving scripts, finding out who our director is, and an assortment of fun things I don't know about.

I just shot my last photo shoot for the month. So I can pack all that stuff up. I may try to get some shots in when I get back from Maine. I have about 5 or so people who have already expressed interest. I just need to find a space.

This blog will mostly be for boating...maybe sometimes foreboding.

Has it Been That Long?

I guess it has at least been less than a month since I've posted. I write today to call people to arms!

I'm in a video group called seven8nine (www.seven8nine.net). We've submitted videos to a few contests. I wrote one that we ended up using for a My Life In 60 Seconds contest and we won! Thanks to your voting help. We now are in two other contests and we need your votes! Mr. Clean and Visa. You can view below, but please click the link to go vote for them as well. THANKS!!!



http://www.mrcleanscenes.com/mrclean/en_US/viewvideo.do?videoid=b4a4Khiw1H0



http://www.whatsmyscore.org/contest/videos.php (look for Credit Always Scores)

Of Sun, Burns, and Bananas

Yesterday was Saturday and the first Saturday in a long time that I haven't had a headshot appointment (due to rescheduling). So I went to the beach and played volleyball. Some of you may remember that I burnt my feet badly 2 or 3 years ago while playing volleyball. Lesson learned. Before leaving I put SPF 30 on my face and feet and spray on SPF 15 everywhere else. Totally protected, right? Wrong! Spray SPF sucks. I have burns all over my stomach and shoulders with blotchy non-burn areas from where the spray actually hit. I'm well cammoflauged for a red and white environment...like a candy cane factory or Waldo's house.

In other news, Kat threw away my banana peel for me.

Of Water, Rain, Floods, and Comcast Apologies

There were two days of storms. Two. Big storms. Lightning flashes and there is no time to count to the sound of thunder storms. The first one was the worst. It is a common cycle out here. Temperature rises over a couple days, thunder storm, temperature is now 20 degrees cooler.

On the first storm day the temperature didn't really drop much afterwards. That's a good sign that there is more storm to be had. During all the raining water started flowing down into our garden apartment porch. Then the wind blew and a small river showed up out of the alley and REALLY filled up our porch. Our apartment was made into an apartment only about 5 years ago. Boy, they were smart about it. We have a lip on our back door that is about 2-3 inches high. The water came with in less than an inch of flooding before the rain settled down. The next day there were guys taking care of flood damage to the other areas of the building. On two separate occasions someone peeked their head in the screen door and asked if we had flood damage. When we said "no" they would say something to the effect of "whew! You are really lucky!"

The second day was just for fun with lightning and all. PS. Deanna decided to go for a walk right before both storms on both days.

Yesterday really cooled off and today as well. Which is great because I have had photoshoots on both days.

And Comcast? I'm cancelling our cable today. We went all of June with no TV. I've watched nothing but DVDs whenever I watched anything. So why mention it? I've been on hold this whole time. They sure don't rush to answer the cancellation phone calls.

"We apologize for the delay. Please continue to hold..."

Dear Illinois Department of Revenue,

I've been waiting over two months for my refund and I just today received a letter saying I OWE taxes...that you didn't receive any quarterly tax payments at all throughout the year.

A) My name isn't RRance
B) Take a look at my tax form. Hold it next to your records. Check the Social Security number. See how the one on my form is different from the one you're looking at?

I'll be calling you dipshits on Monday.

Hugs and Kisses,
RRance

No vegeance...let's clean.

So, we leave this apartment soon. Well...in three months, but it requires putting everything in storage. When I say "everything" I mean "whatever is left" because I'm trimming the fat. As I have been digging through plastic tubs of stuff I had to keep I started finding things that I only look at when I open the tubs. One of these things is a box of cassette tapes.

I'm fairly up-to-date on my technology. I still have CDs because I have a CD player, but I rarely listen to anything not iPod contained. So, I'm looking at these cassettes and the answer is clear. I'm never going to listen to them. There was a part of me that wanted to convert them to CDs somehow but it isn't worth the effort. I'm currently trying to convert my VHS tapes to DVD and it's not working well...but I never use a VCR anymore and I want to be rid of it.

CLEANING UP SHOP!

Other things I'm getting rid of. Art supplies. Hulk Hands. Books. Anything that takes up space that I don't need.

Things that made the cut: My great-grandpa's pipe cleaner, an orange bandana of my moms, a scorpion my dad killed in Hawaii when I was a baby (it is in a decorative mold and I'm a scorpio), a saphire ring from my grandpa, a note my grandma sent to me at camp with treats and $10 (just the note remains), and other little trinkets.

As far as the identity theft thing goes. Apparently it was caught in time. The consensus is that someone used my info to do a "get a free iPod" promotion. For those promotions you usually have to do five things through specified vendors and then you get the iPod. One of those vendors? Sirius. Buy a Sirius radio and you're one step closer to your free iPod. So they use my credit card, send the radio to me, and they get credit for that purchase. They also tried to use some car auction place and ordered some phonics learning package from Scholastic.

I have a friend who used to work in the field of finding these things out. Apparently it usually stems back to Russian or Chinese Mafia. But all is well now.

So, that's it. Cleaning house and doing shows and taking headshots.

"My Dad is Different" by Rance Rizzutto

On Father's Day it's kind of hard
To find a gift or perfect card
My Dad is Different

He don't play golf (not that I've seen)
Though he planned making our yard a putting green
My Dad is Different

I recall one time (or two? Not clear)
That I've ever seen him drink a beer
My Dad is Different

No ties, no cuffs, no power suits
He carves wood while wearing comfy boots
My Dad is Different

He'll make his famous pizza bread
Sing Italian (sounding) songs that come to his head
My Dad is Different

I'm glad he doesn't match the hype
Or fit the normal stereotype
I'm Glad he's Different

(Happy Father's Day)

Nice Try, Thief.

My mom was pestering me to blog. I thought "nothing new has happened." I was wrong. A few days ago I was checking my credit card online to see when my payment was do and check on a balance transfer I had put through on a new card. I was denied access and told to call customer support.

My credit card had been fraud. I still have the card, so it was something online.

They asked me about a few charges and I had no idea. Luckily I rarely use the card so it was easy for me to know I wasn't using it. One such thing was a purchase made to Sirius Radio. That's right. Someone used my card to purchase satelite radio.

Who ever did this is either a) an idiot, b) living in or near my apartment complex, or c) both. Yesterday I received a package...a Sirius radio. The one I didn't order. It CAME TO ME! What idiot thief buys you stuff with your own card? Am I not rich and not poor? Is there some bizarre Robinhood that steals from you and gives back to you?

The only thing I could figure (with my mystery solving skills) is that someone in the building got into my computer via wireless somehow. Why else would they not bother changing the delivery address. If they see packages waiting in the entry way waiting for me from the place they ordered/stole from then they can just take it.

I have a vengeance streak. I need to get people back. It is rare that I have any serious reason to get people back, but it is there. If I can't pay it back I'll pay it forward. Watch out, evildoers.

"It's 'Hartford' me to find anything to do in this town"

Well, I just got back from Hartford, CT and boy do I have stories.

I was there for a gig. Everything with the gig and the client was fantastic, and I'm not just saying that. The stories come from the traveling.

We flew out on Southwest. I don't know if you know about Southwest, but they're known for their cattle-call style seating. When you check in you are in boarding group A, B, or C. We were in A on the way out and B on the way back. What this means is there is a place for each group to line up (under an A, B, or C) and you go on the plane in the order you lined up. First come, first serve. There weren't a whole lot of people on the flight to CT (c'mon Hartford Board of Tourism! Work harder!) I like the exit row seats for the leg room. This flight had one of those seats in the exit row with no seat in front of it...so HUGE leg room bonus. There was a guy sitting in the middle seat next to that seat. I asked him "Is anyone sitting there?' He said "yes" and stayed in his middle seat. Jeff from our group was nice enough to give me the aisle seat in the exit row on the opposite side that he was about to take...very generous. The flight wasn't that full and we all had a lot of room...including the douche bag who told me the seat was taken. It was...by him, apparently, as was the aisle seat of that row. At one point he stretched across all three seats...IN THE EXIT ROW! If you're not going to use the leg room of the row, get out of the row. Unfortunately he didn't die on the plane.

Before that...right before that, as I was walking down the aisle I met Johnny Stumbles a.k.a. Johnny "I can't see Rance if he is standing right in front of me." This guy was in the aisle during boarding. Talking to buddies, messing with his luggage, dropping his glasses. You name it. It took this guy forever to be aware of his surroundings and notice that there was a line of people behind him waiting to get seats...and even then, he didn't really notice.

Added bonus, the guy in the window seat of my aisle OR someone IN the air blower was farting. So...there were smells.

The plane landed and we got off. A few people from the aisles in front of me didn't get off...one of them was Johnny Stumbles. For whatever reason, he let everyone go by, but right as I got there (remember, I'm invisible to him for some reason) he steps out into the aisle, heads towards me (the opposite direction of everyone else), and starts talking to the guy behind me. I know my parents read this, but the only way to accurately describe this guy is "dip shit".

Hartford. Hmmm. Nothing to do there. We had about 4-6 hours to kill before our show. I watched Bridge to Terabithia on the Hotel TV. The preview makes it look like a fun movie where whatever a kid draws turns into reality. Turns out it is about him and a new girl in town use their imaginations to imagine things that don't turn into reality, but are imagined. Still kind of fun. Oh! Did I mention that the new girl in town is cute and they are best friends and when he doesn't invite her to come to something she ends up drowning? DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE BEFORE YOU HAVE TO DO IMPROVISATIONAL COMEDY!

The show went good.

Later that night Contact was on TBS so I watched some of that. I was on 4 hours of crappy sleep and a lot of coffee was wearing off. I finally crashed. Our driver that took us to the airport was a character. He was early and found two of us. We told him the other two would be down soon. He then saw a third person...who went to use the internet quickly. The driver cam back and saw the fourth person but no third. "Where'd the third person go?" "He's using the internet." "Ah. He's on the boob tube. I don't much care for it. I can't type and I have no need to talk to someone in Istanbul."

I hope that his attitude doesn't offend all of the people I talk to in Istanbul via using this boob tube.

Side note (JUST FOR MEN...LADIES, LOOK AWAY)

Fellas. If you're in a public restroom...and you have to just pee...and you go into a stall. Yeah...those are for pooping. People actually sit on those seats. So, you know, lift the seat or stop using a blindfold. I can tell when I have pee'd on a seat, why can't the rest of you. Stop it. If I find someone doing that (how would I do that?) I will pee on them. It's just how it's gonna be.

Blah, blah, blah

So...what's new? I'm a little irritable today, but my mom wondered what is going on. The truth is that this blog is mildly complex to sign in to. For some reason when I click on the links I need to click on they don't respond unless I shift-click them thus opening a new window. It takes about 3-4 windows to even start blogging. It's barely extra effort, but it is enough to sway me from writing when something interesting happens. Then, by the time I actually get to it, the interesting thing doesn't seem interesting.

The biggest news is Deanna and I won the Dual Duel. There was a contest for two-person shows. 7 weeks in the running I believe. Each week five two-person groups got 10 minutes. After all the groups the audience voted. The number one group came back to the finals and the number two group went to a wildcard round the week before the finals. We won our week and went to the finals with what ended up being four groups (including ourselves) who won first place in their week and two groups that won from the wildcard show. The house was packed. Deanna and I did a silent 10 minutes. We had music playing that would inspire us, but we didn't talk. We won. All of the stuff was good that night, but the audience voted and we won. Two trophies and $200. Not too shabby. It was really fun to do a show with just Deanna. That doesn't happen much.

What else? It's getting warmer. At the level when some places (like a place I was at tonight) don't realize they should have their AC on...which is why I'm so irritable right now...that plus listening to American Idol in the other room. Yuck.

So...that's the gist. I'm taking an online class that let's me use models...those photos will be on my photo blog soon.