Thursday, April 30, 2009

4/30/09: Day 187: Civitevecchia, Italy

We have to do a boat drill once a month, which is better than most who do it weekly. Our participation is minimal because we have no real responsibility other than that of a passenger…get to where you would load onto a life boat. Well, it was scheduled for today.

If you want to see Rome while in CV you have to leave pretty much right when we dock at 7:00am. It can take a maximum of 2 hours to get to Rome via train (so, on a bad day) which lops 4 hours off your day right there. This gives you from 9:00am-2or3:00pm to see Rome. The safety drill was at 10:00am. Rome=out of the question.

Deanna checked things out a few days ago when we heard we’d have the drill and found a city called Tarquinia that was nearby. The whole cast went on this adventure! It helped that we all had to get up for the drill.

It was a short train and a E.60 bus to get to an old walled city. Another bonus is that everyone is getting ready for some national holiday that happens on May 1st so there were a lot of tents selling stuff. Like Saturday Market in Portland, but less “hippy.”

We walked around. There was a SPECTACULAR view at the top of the city wall. The sky was blue and sunny with huge, billowy clouds in the distance. We didn’t take any time for breakfast on the ship so I was starting to get hangry. That is a term I got from Katie Rich. It’s when you’re so hungry you get angry. Deanna and I ate at the top of the hill by the wall…this was a debacle.

The café had these sandwiches that were basically a fried chicken breast in a baguette. All that Rosetta Stone Italian failed me I said “pollo?” and pointed, but I said it in spanish like po-yo. She grabbed a chicken salad sandwich. I said “no” and pointed to the back row where the chicken sandwiches were. She grabbed a different one from the front. This went on a bit. Once I finally got her to grab the sandwich I wanted she also grabbed a salami sandwich. I couldn’t figure out how to tell her I only wanted the chicken sandwich. We were both frustrated in the end, but left on a good note when she asked if I wanted mayo and I only had to say “si.”

As we walked outside to sit we noticed the front of the café. It said “coffee time,” “sandwiches” and two other things I forget. And I’m not translating. All in English.

After much walking and nearing our 3:45 meet time Deanna and I stopped for sit down lunch. We ordered pizza…she ordered wine. She also learned she only needs a glass of it and not half a liter. How? While at the bus stop waiting she went of to use the restroom. On her way she tripped hard on this big black metal frame that looked like it used to hold a closet door sized piece of glass, but now was just an empty piece of the bus stop. She slammed both ankles into it, fell onto her hands, and somehow hit the top of her head too. Wine.

What we do tomorrow will depend on how sore Deanna is. Pisa? Florence? Lucca? Livorno? Possibilities!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

4/29/09: Day 186: Ajaccio, Corsica

We were here last crossing. This town is famous for a few things: being the birthplace of Napoleon; technically being a part of France but hating that they’re a part of France; and having a city name that no one on the ship really seems confident about knowing if they’re pronouncing it right.

We pretty much just walked around and had coffee. We tried to get internet, but my computer wouldn’t connect. So, we sat there using our iTouches.

This is also the city where I got that necklace for my mom.

We’re starting to feel the difference in the ports now. On the other itinerary I was going to the gym every other day. Maybe getting out to see stuff, but mostly looking for internet in Merritt Square mall or at Nassau’s cyber café. I haven’t been able to download hardly anything so far.

No we get up early to take advantage of the ports…especially the ones we’ll only see on the crossing. Which means we’re tired when we come back. I took a 30-40 minute nap around 6pm the other day and wasn’t able to get to sleep until around 3:00am. At least I’ve sort of adjusted. Some of the dancers still can’t fall asleep until 9:30am.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

4/28/09: Day 185: Sea Day

This is the last sea day of the crossing. Nothing but ports from here on out. Ric and I lead a workshop today that was interesting. Well, it was our normal workshop, but the people in it were much more interested in performing or seeing us perform. When we got to our Q&A at the end the questions were along the lines of “Do a scene for us!” to which we replied that we would be doing a show later on in the cruise. Then “Okay. I’ll give you a suggestion and you two make up a song about it.” I felt like Gui (for those who get that).

Later on we did a fun Liar’s Club. Josh did it for the first time and the stories he made up to lead into the definitions were full of opportunities for side commentary. I don’t know if he found that fun, but it was fun for the rest of us. I was pretty tired from not catching up on sleep and there was a juggler on board that I was thinking of going to check out. At the last minute Deanna and I decided to go. Not going to it would have been the worst thing ever because it was The Skinny German Juggling Boy, Hilde.

I remember someone telling me about him before…Jen or Ben or someone. He was hilarious. His juggling was good, but his constant interaction with the audience and overly cheesy jokes were what got me. If I was still reffing at Csz I would have a ton of new bits. If you see me in person remind me to tell you about “the hand is quicker than the eye”, the magic disappearing cracker, and how to deal with a leaving audience member.

Monday, April 27, 2009

4/27/09: Day 184: Malaga, Spain

Crew tour TWO! Near Malaga there are caves in Nerja. The caves have the world’s largest stalactites and stalagmites. Sure, big deal, right? The award winners were 32 meter’s long. There was a huge section of the cave where this massive pillar supported the whole thing. The other amazing thing was learning that it takes 100 years for a stalactite to grow one centimeter. So…these things were old.

The similarity between the two crew tours is that 5 children discovered the caves (in 1959). It was such a find that the kids were awarded $3000 each. There was also a lot of evidence that primitive man lived in these caves. They are also deep enough that their temperature is constant at around 70 degrees regardless of winter or summer.

We got back in time to hit up the city, but Deanna and I were both on little sleep so we headed back to the ship for nap time!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

4/26/09: Day 183: Cadiz, Spain

Cadiz is another place I haven’t been yet, so I was all set to just get out and walk around. Luckily they have walking tours with painted lines on the sidewalks to guide you through.

Deanna and I went to a Watch Tower and climbed to the top for the view. It reminded me of the video game Assassin’s Creed. Mostly because from up there you could see all the roof tops, AND they have a lot of towers. Part of the ticket price to get in included a tour via camera obscura. Sort of like a telescope, it lets light in through lenses and a mirror which gets focused on a big white dish in a dark room. By lifting or lower the dish the guide could focus on certain things near or far.

We also checked out an old Cathedral. Near this cathedral was a bar called MamaJuana that was hopping. Deanna and I had coffee at an outdoor café right near there. We saw a lot of crew, a homeless guy swearing at his clothes, and a guy tried to sell me a dog.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

4/25/09: Day 182: Lisbon, Portugal

There was a crew excursion today and I signed Deanna and I up for it. Instead of going into Lisbon we went to Fatima! I had no idea what was in Fatima, but Deanna is always hinting for me to plan things so I planned going on this.

It turns out that Fatima has a basilica larger than St. Peter’s square in the Vatican. It also turns out that Catholics are…well…crazy. No offense, but some of the things that were going on here…crazy. Let me start at the beginning.

Fatima. In 1910 three young shepherds (two girls and a boy. 10, 9, and 7) saw lightning and headed for home. Then there was another flash an in its place was a bright white lady holding a rosary…so, not necessarily the Virgin Mary, but “the Lady of the Rosary”. She told them to be good and stuff and said she would be back on the 13th day of the next few months. Supposedly 70,000 people were there the final time this happened.

In the place where they first saw the lady there is a small chapel. It is part of the larger basilica. The whole town is pretty much based around the church and the income from the 5 million visitors per year.

Not crazy enough? Let us dig deeper. There are all sorts of shops in town. Almost ALL of them sell a wide variety of statues of The Lady and the kids who found her…as well as toys for kids, and weirdest of all, candles.

What is weird about candles? The ones that are in the shapes of body parts that are taken to be burnt like offerings or something. And when I say body parts I mean we saw, arms, feet, legs, intestines, breasts, heads, children, kidneys, etc. Apparently they are burnt in this big fire pit area where you can also light candles. Burnt when you pray for something to get healed and it does…I guess.

Not weird enough? There is also a long sidewalk within the basilica that leads down a slope to the small chapel. There were several people traversing the 80-100 yards on this walk…on their knees. One lady was lying on the ground inching herself forward using only her feet.

I’m sure I’m forgetting something too. It was an interesting experience on multiple levels. Oh, of the three kids that saw this, two died within 3 years and the other lived a long time and became a nun, or she might even still be alive.

It was also raining a lot of the time. AND I shipped all my warm clothes home so I’m relying on the same three layers every time the temp drops.

Friday, April 24, 2009

4/24/09: Day 181: Sea Day 5

See those? Are they yours? There are really two people they could belong to…three if you count Ben Johnson, but I doubt they are his. This is the second ship I have been on where I randomly find undergarments behind drawers. On the Jewel our bottom drawer wouldn’t close all the way. I reached behind it and found a nighty, some pj bottoms, and some panties. I contacted the possible owners and returned them to Katie.

These little gems can only be Jen’s or Allison’s. I’m leaning towards Allison. Deanna took a picture of me in one of them for me to email Allison, but I thought “all I need is that floating around the internet.” It is dead and gone.

I got to the gym for the first time in about a week. I wasn’t taking any pills or drinking my shake, and it had been about 3 hours since I ate so I got tired pretty quick.

Later tonight we’re hosting or co-hosting a crew party. We were FINALLY going to do a crew show tomorrow night, but that mean making sure there is booze available to the crew. THEN we found out there was going to be a crew party the night before. Never follow a party with a party. So, we jumped on board with the party. I think it is the first one Second City has done while I’ve been on. Every party usually has a theme, usually involving dressing a certain way. Previous themes I can remember: 80’s, Camouflage, White Christmas, Black & White, Green, and Brett’s favorite…the Stop Light Party. For the Stop Light Party you wear Red if you’re dating someone, Yellow if you’re single but not looking, and Green if you’re single and looking. It usually ends up with a few people wearing red and everyone else just showing up for the free drinks.

Maria submitted a joke theme of Drink & Dance and they took it. So, we’re hosting the Drink and Dance party. More on that tomorrow.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

4/23/09: Day 180: Azores, Portugal

Land! We arrived in the Azores today for our first official return to Europe…other than hearing The Final Countdown in an Arrested Development episode a couple days ago.

I’ve been learning Italian pretty hardcore, picking up a little Spanish, and putting French in Deanna’s hands since she took it in school. Well, guess which country speaks Portuguese? Luckily Deanna and I were hanging out with Cherry and Serena and Serena knows Portuguese. As we first got of the ship we weren’t sure where the main part of town was. We decided to take a cab to the center of town and if it wasn’t far we would walk back. Serena, our interpreter, went out on her first task to ask the cab driver how far away town was…I believe her exact phrasing, and I may be off on the accent, was “How far away is town?” I didn’t translate that…that was what she said. I think the only Portuguese she ended up really saying was when a passenger asked the worker in the shop where the bathroom was, and he didn’t understand.

It was a nice little town and an easy day. The one hour time changes everyday are really starting to punch us in the face. I came back and fell a sleep for two hours.

Tonight was another new act. Moscow Magic. Stacey the pianist was raving about them saying they were great. They were. They had a lot less big tricks and more slight of hand. I don’t know if they are just on for this cruise but I would see them again easily.

Tomorrow is another sea day.

Oh, Jane and JJ left today too. Boo. We got to know them really well this time around. The nice thing is that we know for sure they will be back for our last two weeks so we’ll see them again!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

4/22/09: Day 179: Sea Day 4

Well, my partner and I didn’t advance in the bowling contest, but we made it interesting in the 10th frame again. All they had to get to beat us was 5 pins. They narrowed that to two pins with one ball left to throw, but it took them three throws to do it. They hit 8 pins with the last ball.

Having the bowling tournament at 2:00 every day has made the crossing fly by. It helps having something to do every day.

Tomorrow we’ll be in the Azores at 9:00am. So keep an eye out for that!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

4/21/09: Day 178: Sea Day 3

Still sick.

I wish there was a neti-pot for lungs. At some point before we did the crossing I bought Day-Quil and Nyquil. It was a recommendation based on not knowing if they would have those brands over in Europe. I just didn’t think I would use them ON the crossing. I have one more dose of Day-Quil left.

Yesterday, for no real reason, I woke up around 8:00am and stayed up. This is a good thing since we will be setting our clocks ahead one hour every day for six days in a row. So, it was really like I woke up at 1:00pm.

Also yesterday was Bowling with the Stars! We did this on the last crossing and I think Larrance won. I think last time it started at 16 teams of 2 and the 8 highest scores moved on. This time it was a bracket system. My partner and I took on Cletus and his partner ( who asked Cletus at the start “how do I hold the ball?”). Cletus and I were about even, but he was doing a little better. Those who know my bowling will understand the next part. Around frame 6 I decided to put away the normal style and break out the 7-pound spin. Last time I attempted this patented throw was with Brett and Ryan. They must have just oiled the lanes because the spin did nothing. This time I caught way too much spin…every time. Now, my normal tactic is to do a good job, but ease off just enough to not win, thus freeing me from coming back to bowl the next day. The bowling happens right in my prime gym time. But, I’m sick and haven’t been working out. I think in frame 9 I went back to bowling “normal” and got a spare. In frame 10 I got two strikes. With our combined score the other team needed 18 points to win. Cletus, who had been on a streak of spares…blew it on his first throw. He knocked down four random pins and didn’t have a good chance of a spare. Throw two, four pins. His partner, who had asked who to play the game, needed a spare and one point more to win. Double gutterballs. So, today at 2:00 I continue on.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

4/19/09: Day 176: Sea Day 1

Today is the first full sea day. On the day of our last stage show (last Monday) there was a weird mildewy tinge to the air backstage. About 3 days ago I started getting a little bit of a cough. Today it is full blown. Not bad if you think about it. I’ve been sick maybe three times since October, and some of our current cast have been sick that many times already.

The magicians are gone, so things are a little quieter from next door. Currently we have comedian Bill Hildebrandt back on board for the first part of the crossing at least. They usually have people on for the first part and then replace them with more permanent entertainment mid-crossing. I know at least that we’ll be losing Jane Powell and JJ on the first port day, but we know they’ll be back at least for our last two weeks of the contract.

Three more sea days until a port. Our first show isn’t until Saturday. Plenty of time to not be sick anymore.

Friday, April 17, 2009

4/17/09: Day 174: Sea Day

Whoa…last night was ROCKY. Easily the rockiest it has been so far. Pair that with my cough that I recently got and you’ve got yourself some prime non-sleep.

Tomorrow is our final day in New York, and in the USA for that matter. I think we have four sea days before our first port. So, I’ll probably (or, in Italian, probabile) be in the gym a lot…hopefully.

There are a couple of guys in the buffet who I may have mentioned before. They are the greeters. As people are walking in for breakfast they are both saying “Goood MORNinnnng! Happy happy! Enjoy your breakfast!” It is too the point where every time we play blindline we get the suggestion “Good Morning.” Today, instead of saying “Happy happy!” they would say “Rocky rocky!” because of the weather and waves.

I guess after the last show tonight (I wasn’t there, but Deanna was) the cruise director was making his end of show announcements and found a surprise way to introduce some special guests. Those two guys came out from the sides saying “Goooood MORNinnnng!” and the whole place went nuts and got up on their feet. Deanna said after the show there was a huge line of people waiting to get their pictures taken with the guys. They are rockstars for simply saying good morning and being peppy. I hope this wasn’t their last cruise.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

4/14/09: Day 171: Great Stirrup Cay

Technically we’re just about an hour into the 15th. Tax day. Got your taxes in?

Normally we leave the private island around 6:00pm and slowly loop around the water until we head for Nassau and get there at 8:00am. We’re super close, we just don’t need to be there until 8:00am. Well, tonight we heard something that is not good to hear on any day. In the crew hallway we barely heard the medical alert code being called. This can be for anything that requires further medical assistance/training than what the surrounding staff have been trained for. So, from hard falls to heart attacks.

About a minute later they made the medical alert call in the actual crew cabins. They never do this. This pretty much means “…and it’s serious.” The good news is we’re pretty sure no one died. We’re sure of this because we heard the steering motor sounds come on and checked the map on channel 22. We did one tiny loop in the water and made a bee-line for Nassau. We are now backing into the port and there is an ambulance waiting at the port. They live…they need help before 8:00am. I hope they end up being okay.

In other news, today is Deanna and I…my?..mine’s?...it’s our 9th anniversary! And the first one on a ship. For a secret present I am taking her to Europe.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

4/12/09: Day 169: Sea Day

Another set of “lasts” is upon us. This is our last Florida/Bahamas cruise before we head back to Europe. So, we’ll have one more sea day before we have a LOT of sea days for the crossing.

On the last sea day, so two days ago, I went to breakfast right around 11:00 and saw a water spout. Which is like a mini-tornado at sea. A very narrow cone that went all the way down from the sky to about 20 feet above the water, but you could see a mist at the base of the water that let you know it was touching. Pretty cool. This was the day that all those tornadoes hit on land.

I also switched webhosts to more updated one, but I did it wrong. So, my email and website were dead for the past two days. They should be working now. It will be a couple more days until it actually transfers over to my new server. Getting it all sorted out meant burning serious minutes on my internet card. Day two of this cruise and I have less than an hour left on my card.

Poo.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

4/9/09: Day 166: Freeport

As you may have noticed, I added google ads to my blog. So, if all 10 of you click links every time you read, and I update frequently I’ll probably receive some money in 5 years or so. The fun thing is that it picks ads based on what is in the blog. Here is a test: I had a boss at CMD in Portland who was an Abraham Lincoln impersonator on the side. True story. If you don’t believe me check Ripley’s Believe it or Not. End test…oh wait: Tron.

Our Freeport stop is always brief. My typical morning on any day is waking up naturally around 10am and fake sleeping until 10:45 so I can hustle up and get an omelet before the breakfast buffet closes. Deanna is typically still in bed and now that she bought a shiny new iPod iTouch by Apple (another small test) she will play some games for awhile once she actually wakes up.

Today I woke up around 10:45. Deanna wasn’t next to me, she wasn’t in the office chair, and she wasn’t on the couch. She also wasn’t in the bathroom, yet I swore I just heard her moving around. Then I heard “Rance, close the curtains! There is a man outside the window!” On Freeport day the port is on our side of the ship and level with our window. Did I mention I heard Deanna’s voice coming from the floor? She had dropped to the ground and that sound was what probably woke me up.

In other news, Jet Li’s Tai Chi Master was on the crew channel today. Want to really warp your mind? Rent this movie. It is in Chinese originally, so set it to English Lanugage. AND…turn on the subtitles. That is how it was set up. Guess what? The dubbed English and the subtitles matched about 3% of the time. T’was bizarre.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

4/7/09: Day 164: GSC…or IS it?!

These are the last couple of weeks before we go to Europe again so it is all blending together and blanding together.

However…today the weather was too wavy so instead of going to Great Stirrup Cay we went straight to Nassau. We didn’t get there until 7:00pm, and we’re normally there until midnight on our normal days, but we didn’t have a show today so we were actually out at night!

Deanna and I went out to eat Indian food with Cherry and a couple others. It was a little bit of a walk. The reason I write is because on the was back a guy in an SUV with the music blaring pulled up next to us and said “You need a ride?!” to the other couple we were with. To which they said “no.” He turned down the music and said “What? I didn’t hear you! I didn’t hear what you said. Do you need a ride?” All the while driving right along side of us as we walked on the sidewalk.

Now, IF we needed a ride and had said “yes” while he was blaring his music do you think we would have kept on walking straight ahead? Perhaps confused on how to actually seal the deal on a cab ride? How do we get in this thing?! I DON’T KNOW!!! IF WE JUST KEEP WALKING HE’LL PULL IN FRONT AND SCOOP US UP!

Idiot.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

April Fool's Day

I didn't really try any good jokes, but here is one that happened to our friend and ex-castmate Brett.

http://jeffgriggs.blogspot.com/2009/04/april-fools-joke.html