Day 7 & 8 of 10 (+?): San Ramon, CA/Ogden, UT

Fun shoot today. Kidnapping/interrogation scene. I stopped by the local Target store before the shoot and picked up some DVDs. I ate a bagel. We went to the shoot. Not a lot outside of that.

Until.

We flew to Ogden, UT that night...whoa. Have you been to Ogden?! Have you?! That whole city's east side touches the base of a HUGE mountain range...HUGE! RIGHT THERE!

We landed and looked to the east and saw the strangest night sky. Why? Because it wasn't sky...it was MOUNTAIN! I can't explain it any better. It was fantastic.

I had it pretty easy here. My shoot was in the morning...in the hotel. Around 1:30am in the hotel I heard a gurgling noise from the bathroom. I went in there and watch water slowly start to rise up from the sink drain. I switched rooms and didn't end up really sleeping until around 3:30 or so.

Got up early and did the shoot. Drove over to drop of everyone and drove around Ogden. Pretty basic. Then we got out of there around 4:00 and headed back to Chicago. Rich and I made it back in time for our IO show.

Robyn Norris was celebrating her B-day right next to IO, so we stopped in there to get some food. There were a LOT of friends there and it was nice to come straight off a job to lots of friends.

Our show at 10:30 was a group of people we put together and just asked if we could play. We got two slots. Tuesday at 10:30 and next Tuesday. We're up before a show called the Lottery. We rocked it, hard. Super fun show. Especially because I got to play with Deanna. We rarely get to do longform together out here unless it is just the two of us.

Day 6 of 10 (+?): Chicago-San Ramon, CA

After only one day off (Saturday) we're back together again and on our way to lovely San Ramon, CA. Back on the jet and hittin' the west. We left from an airport about 50 miles outside of Chicago. We started from this airport instead of a closer one so that we wouldn't have to land to refuel. The cool thing about this flight? It was my turn to watch the landing.

That's right. I stood right behind the pilots and watched the landing through the front windows. I'm the third one of the group to do this. It is pretty cool.

We land and hit a bump in our planning. The rental cars were left in the parking lot for us. The keys were left in the airport...the airport that closed 35 minutes before we landed. We lucked out in that there was a van cab waiting for a client to arrive at the airport...in three hours. Lucky. We head to our hotel...which was right next to a delicious Marie Callendar Restaurant. I've never heard of this place...except that some people I know did a big promo gig for them.

Luckily, when we got back to the hotel, we all went to my room and played Fluxx while watching the ever-terrible "Batman and Robin".

I'm not on the morning shift, so I go to bed a little late.

Day 5 of 5 (+5): Fall River, MA

Still cold in the morning. We head out to the site. This time, the director gives me a copy of his mapquest directions.

One of the directions is "Exit 2W Fall River". It is really "2B", but still Fall River. I see this and I predict they will pass the exit, even though I know it is actually the right one.
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Yep. They pass it. Now a whole new equation.

Mapquest sucks, folks. Don't use it. I have never had possitive results with mapquest. Use mapblast.com (aka MSN Maps) or google maps if you want actual directions that work.

We get there and Rich and I do our part of the shoot. I'd say we finish at noon, which is great. We drive out to pick up Sarah and Paul at the hotel...MORE HOT 106!

We get back and drive to a nearby restaurant/bar for the Paul and Sarah shoot. They serve Portugese(sp?) food here and we all have lunch. Good stuff.

I drive around to explore the town for a while but don't really find anything interesting...sorry, Fall River.

This shoot takes awhile because we're dealing with a bunch of employees, and then random patrons of the bar. It is a very blue collar town. We ge done around 6:30 and start packing up. Paul gets cornered in the bathroom by an extremely drunk guy who wants to know about the shoot, but won't let Paul leave. Paul gets out. Later, that same drunk guy comes in and is asking a bunch of questions. Not in an angry way. In a curious, extremely wasted way. He is having trouble standing. He gets a little animated...still not angry, just super wasted. The guys from the company we're shooting are regulars at this place and in good with the owner. The drunk guy is getting louder and more animated. Right in the middle of a drunken rambling the owner comes in and says "What are you doing in here?! Stop! Go sit down!" The drunk guy instantly stops and walks off like a 5 year old who just got busted. It was great.

We finally pack up. Since I've been driving around, the director says to me "I assume you know how to get us back to the freeway?" I say yes and he tells me to lead the way and then follow him once we get to the freeway. I take a slightly alternate route. We need to head down one road then take a left on a main road. The road I pick to get to the main road, well...doesn't let you turn left onto that main road. So I start laughing that I just went the wrong way because of how many times the director has. I make a right, another right, another, and get back to the road we really need. He is flashing his lights and honking, and I know it is saying "who sucks at driving now?"

This whole day I was hoping we would make it back in time for me to be at my IO show with Johnny Roast Beef at 8:00pm....I got home at 10:15. I didn't make it.

You may have noticed the (+) and now the (+5) in the headings. We knew there would be more dates, but didn't know when. I'm back Saturday, leave Sunday for CA, Leave Monday for UT, come back Tuesday, home Wednesday, leave Thursday for TX, come back Friday. SO....more to come.

Day 4 of 5 (+): Huntsville, AL

Huntsville was a nice shoot. We had the best hotel of the trip so far. I finally got some sleep.

I was scheduled for the afternoon shoot because Paul and Sarah's script required an employee who needed to leave by 1:00pm. I slept very well until 7:15, then fitfully until 10:00. At 10:30 there was a phone call that I missed. At 10:32 there was a knockin' on my "Do Not Disturb" laden door.

I called down to the front desk for a late check out and they said I was already checked out. I told them that I was right here.

Grabbed some chow at Chick-fil-a. I've only had their food once in Lloyd Center's Food Court, but it was close, and a little chilly out. Caught a cab to the site...here are the directions: Take a right out of the hotel; follow that road; take a left; you're there. I heard that in the morning they didn't find it.

I can't remember what I have said on this subject yet, but I must comment now. We always have two cars. One car is always the director, camera man, and sound guy. The other is us four actors. We always follow the director. Not ONE SINGLE TIME has the drive gone without a last-second exit, missed exit, or fake lane change. Everytime. Always. Even in the situation above of "go down one street and turn on the street you need" got messed up. We've been blaming the director, but the sound guy confirmed that it is the camera guy's navigation.

I don't remember if I commented before because it was a sore spot for us. By this point it is hilarious...even to the director who is doing the driving.

So I'm taking this cab and we pass something I thought was funny. A bar called "Bench Warmers" had a sign that said "SUN: Naughty Girl Contest". Naughty Girl Contest. Not Wet T-shirt or bikini...naughty. Struck me funny.

I got on site and waited a bit for Sarah and Paul's part to be done. We shot our stuff and left around 6:00 or so.

Get to the airport and we're off to Fall River, MA...two hour flight. It was a toss up as to where we would be going. Either MA of VA. Because of that toss up, we discovered on the plane that we had no hotel booked. Luckily there is a plane on the jet and we got someplace close to the airport. WHEW.

When we landed we dicovered that MA was COLD! It was only about 33 degrees but we were just in warm florida two days ago and had forgotten what Chicago feels like. COLD! We find our hotel (with only a minor wrong turn). It is the worst hotel we've stayed in, but it is much better than not having a hotel at all. The rooms were very cold. I had my heat set to 90 degrees and it felt like 55. Luckily, I was scheduled for the morning shoot.

While driving around that night looking for food, we stumbled across a radio station. Hot 106. Hip hop/rap music. Great stuff. Three 6 Mafia's "Stay Fly" was our most referenced song from that point on.

Day 3 of 5 (+): Lake Worth, FL

The Ninja shoot. We're out of the hotel by 7:45am and on the way to the site. I follow one guy, who is not the best driver, so far. He misses the turn here, makes a late turn there. Just hard to follow, but we get there and laugh about it in the end.

Today we are staging a secret ninja operation. This is packed with great bits, but also takes a while to shoot. We finish up our part around 3:00 and then Paul and Sarah come in to shoot.

Rich always stays on site, I take the car out to drive around FL. It's about 75 degrees. I head to the beach, but it is hard to find because the beach is lined with huge, expensive looking mansions. I finally find a park that gives me a little access to the water. It is warm! I'm in jeans so I stay out. I do grab some shells and just keep driving north. I decide to head back around the exact right time.

I get a text from Rich saying they'll be ready to leave in 30 minutes. I get back in time and we're OFF TO THE AIRPORT!

Everyone is tired. On the flight the four of us play a game Sarah told us...I don't think it has a name. One person says the name of an actor who has been in a movie...for instance, "Clint Eastwood". The next person says an actor who's first name starts the that actors first inital of their last name...so "E" from "Eastwood" might make someone say "Elvis Presley" which might make the next person say "Parker Posie". Which brings us to the other rule. If you say a name with the same first and last initials, the play reverses order. oooOOoooOOo!

We land in Huntsville, AL. This is the best hotel so far. We just got back from eating. I'm on the afternoon shoot tomorrow and those shoots will be the easier of the ones we're doing.

Day 2 of 5 (+): Columbus, GA

As I said, I get to wake up later than the rest of the group. It doesn't do me too much good. I sleep like crap and set my alarm for 9:00 so I can get the free breakfast.

After I get ready, I head down and grab the buffet. It is a typical hotel buffet +. There is a selection of cereals, breads, donuts, bacon and sausage and potatoes and eggs. All of the last four items are typical hotel versions...cold and/or fake-ish. I just get some eggs and bacon and a couple boxes of cereal. I eat, head back to my room, check out, and wait for the morning crew to arrive. They show up and Rich and I head back to the site. Our lines work perfectly. We get to improv a few things here and there. Fun stuff. The staff at the location are friendly and cracking jokes.

I notice that I haven't seen a single bird while I've been here. Not a single one. Think about it. When you go outside, it isn't long until you at least see a pigeon or a seagull (in the city) or maybe something else. Here...nothing...not until later, but I really had to keep a sharp eye out.

We finish shooting around 4:30 and head immediately for the airport. Off to Lake Worth, FL!

Lake Worth, FL: The hotel we are staying at is in the midst of renovations. They got hit hard by the hurricane season, I guess. The sound guy gets issued a room that is occupied. This is the second time this happens. Us four actors hop in the car and head out to eat dinner. We find a place called Long Horns and decide to eat there. Paul and I went to use the restroom and wash our hands. While we're washing our hands we watch someone leave the stall and go right out the door. An employee. We both pop our heads out and watch as this someone goes straight back in the kitchen. Gross. Thank you, Boynton Beach, FL Long Horns, for pooing our food.

We head to the hotel and I find out that Rich and I are on the morning shift. The good news...we're dressing up like Ninjas!

Day 1 of 5 (+): Columbus, GA

I got a sweet gig (thank you, sweet gig-givers) and I'm flying all around for 5 days. Yes...all around.

Day 1: Monday

The four of us who got hired met up in Chicago at the place from whence we were hired. I don't like throwing out names of places/companies. I don't know why.

We hung out, went over scripts, high-fived a toddler that came through, and did bits.

A limo came to take us to the airport. Not O'Hare...not Midway...some other, smaller one I don't know the name of. We got in the car and it was bit central. The cycle of bits went something like this: Bit starts; we all riff; Paul relates it to a Simpson's reference; Sarah relates it to dwarves replacing people; Rance kills the bit; Rich comments on Rance killing the bit; everyone/anyone comments on how we're going to use all our bits for the trip in the car; pause; repeat.

As we're driving, we find out that our flight is going to leave an hour later than planned. This was PERFECT because it gave us all time to go get food.

We were flown out on a corporate jet...8 seater. Pretty cool. I have some pics of the outside of it, I'll have to get some of the inside next time we're in the plane.

On the plane there are four seats that face each other, one that faces forward by the exit, and a sideways facing bench next to that seat. Somehow it ended up that the client, sound guy, camera man, and myself were in the four seats, and Rich, Paul, and Sarah were in the three front seats. So...I read. I was reading "My Friend Leonard" by James Frey*.

The plane lands and I am deemed "driver of car two". I go get the car and grab everyone and head to the airport. No...hotel. Yes...hotel. We get there about 11:30 at night, get our rooms, and kind of hang out in the "workout room" (2 working cardio machines, 2 broken ones, three sets of light weight dumbbells). Go to bed.

Lucky for me, my shoot is scheduled for the afternoon. Rich and I are paired up, Sarah and Paul are paired up. Before going to sleep I go over the script a few times and then luck out...Superman I on tv! Just starting! No commercials! I watch until superman saves a cat from a tree and then replaces the destroyed engine on Air Force One with himself. I would watch my DVD of Superman at home, but I don't have it at home, do I TODD!

*James Frey wrote "A Million Little Pieces" ("A" may not actually be in the title) and followed that up with "My Friend Leonard". They are both great reads. Unfortunately, the first book is doing quite well because it was in Oprah's Book Club, and then it got attacked for not being true. It's true, but people are saying some stuff was embellished. It is a BOOK, PEOPLE! Read it and move on. It's not like it is a law that just got passed saying "Everyone only has to pay $5 in taxes each year" and then we find out it was an embellishment because we actually have to pay more. THAT is something to get up in arms about. Not a book. It is only a matter of time until someone tries to sue him. We, people, are idiots. Cool it, us.

The Portland Chronic- what? -les

Portland, Oregon. I've spent many countless moments in Chicago telling people that it doesn't rain as much as people think it does in Portland. I was just there for 6 days...and it rained everyday. EVERY day. Friday- I arrived around 2:00pm and set out to get the hotel and meet Michele at the photo studio I was borrowing. Got in no problem, set everything up that I needed to and went on my way. Deanna and I ate at Swagat Indian Cuisine before playing a ComedySportz show in Portland. On that note, a big part of my trip back was eating at places I like eating at. It didn't get as big as I would have liked, but I checked some off the list...and Swagat was the first. Unfortunately, Srimanth, the owner, wasn't there. He's a great guy who will rip you a new one when you first start working there, and will still try after you've worked there awhile. I got pretty good at reversing his burn attempts in my four years working there.

After we ate (and we ordered too much) we headed over to CSz and got ready for the show. It was good to be back, and weird to be back. In the show, everyone was kicking ass. It made me think of something Zach Thompson said: "The difference between half-ass and kick-ass...think about it." I've been thinking about a lot of shows I've been doing in Chicago, and the state of Chicago improv today and that rings true. I think a lot of it has become half-assed and I'm done doing that. I'm going to kick ass from now on.

We finish out the show and head over to the common aftershow hang out, McMennamin's. It has changed from a grill pub to a larger restaurant. My favorite thing to order...not on the menu. What I order, comes out wrong. A terrible experience, and I ban them.

Saturday- Today starts bright and early. I am shooting headshots today and I am shooting seven people. The most I've ever shot in a day. We get there around 8:15am to be able to let the stylist in and get set up. The nice thing is, I know everyone. So this is a great "see old friends" time while still being able to do work.

My dad wants to stop by and shows up at 10:00am. He loves my work and is very proud that I'm doing photography. He's always loved photography and has tried to get me to love it since I was a kid. I did love it...I just wasn't patient enough to shoot my film, develop my film, make prints, etc. With digital I get immediate results. Huzzah! So, he's proud. Also, while he's there, one of the ladies decides to get "slinky" in her pics. Whenever I shoot headshots, I reserve the last 10 shots for just going crazy...doing whatever they want to do. For this particular woman, it meant wearing only a man's button down shirt...some shots for her husband (who was in the room). I shoot those and then she goes to change back into her clothes. My dad looks at me and says "I gotta get into this business!"

If you've made it this far..."Hey Eric Lindberg."

The shoots continue. My dad leaves and Phil comes in to just watch what I do...and pick up lunch for Deanna, Joan Marie (the stylist) and myself. The last shoot ends around 4:30. We drop by the hotel quickly then it's off to CHRISTMAS AT APPLEBEE'S! Deanna's mom picked Applebee's for the destination and we all (our parents and we) met there. Apparently they have great soup. Gifts were exchanged. Talk was had. Then we were on our merry way. Hmmm...8:30pm. Time to go to sleep!

Sunday- got to sleep in and didn't need to be to the studio until 10:00. Shot three people and then had a couple couples come in. Jeremy and Carrie showed up and I shot them. They were very nervous in front of the camera, which I found hilarious. Then my mom and dad showed up. That was a fun shoot...plus my dad totally got me back for something I did when I was a kid.

Every easter or christmas my dad would set up the camera and tripod and we would all be dressed nicely awaiting a family picture. One easter, my sense of humor kicked in. Picture one: everyone is smiling, I have my eyes wide open in a blank stare. Picture two: everyone is smiling, my dad slightly less than the rest, I have my eyes wide open in a blank stare. Picture three: my dad has told me not to make a face...He is not smiling, my mom and sister are kind of smiling, I have my eyes wide open in a blank stare. Picture four: my dad has told me a little more harshly not to make a face...He looks angry, my mom looks upset, my sister is looking at me, I am smiling nicely. Cut to the last picture of my shoot on Sunday. Deanna is taking a picture of me and my parents. I'm kind of smiling, my mom is smiling, my dad's eyes are wide open in a blank stare. The ultimate callback.

After the shoot we headed to my parents house and played Fluxx...a card game that is fun, but that they didn't know how to play. I discovered Fluxx while I was in Maine over the Summer. I bought myself a deck and sent one to my parents. NOW they actually know how to play it. We head back and stop at The Spaghetti Factory for dinner...check another food place off the list. Sleep.

Monday- Today is a day I've been looking forward to and kind of dreading. We head out to the beach to visit my Grandpa. It was great to see him, but hard to see him as well. He just turned 90 on the 13th.

I have a hard time watching family get older...especially grandparents. My mom's parents had always been together, but my dad had step-parents. Because of this I hit the jackpot as a kid...SEVEN GRANDPARENTS! Unfortunately, they all started passing away, and it seemed like all around the same time. It makes me angry to think about it. I have one grandparent left and the thought of losing him makes me sad and angry because A) he's my last grandparent and B) that means my parents are next.

It's a nice visit, but sad. We come back to town for a romantic date of food court food and a Gay Cowboy movie. Ahhhhh, romance. I did get bourbon chicken at the Cajun Grill in the food court, check.

Brokeback Mountain was ok. It could have been 30 minutes shorter and still told the same story. I feel like it is way over-hyped. It's good...but since it's about gay cowboys dealing with their forbidden love people think it's great. It's no "Big Trouble in Little China", folks...get over it.

Monday is the day that Deanna realized her Tuesday flight doesn't leave at 11:00am...it leaves at 7:00am. YIKES! Good thing she checked.

Tuesday- 5:45am and I'm off to the airport to drop off Deanna. She needed to be back sooner than I did.

Major accomplishment: Carl's Jr. (similar to Hardee's, but not) Western Bacon Cheeseburger...HUGE check off the list. It's a burger with bacon, BBQ sauce and onion rings IN the burger. I also put my fries in the burger as well.

Today I worked on preparing all the CDs for the people who got headshots. Later that night I stopped by my old Tae Kwon Do Dojang and visited with Master Ha. I was glad to see him, and I showed up at probably the perfect time by chance. From there I went to the ComedySportz rehearsal to drop off CDs. It was a mandatory rehearsal for them, so I didn't want to intrude too much. I dropped off CDs and was on my way.

That night I hung out with Blaine (friend since 4th grade, and ex-co-worker) and Jeremy (friend and ex-co-worker). They still work at the same job I quit 3 years ago. We went out and told stories. They kept me filled in on work gossip, although I forgot to ask if that bitch, Ali, still works there. Way to make a positive impression, Ali.

Wednesday- I stayed one day too long. Not a whole lot to do. Around 1:00pm I went out to Tigard to my old High School to see my yearbook/photography teacher. I figured I would chat it up and show him my portfolio. I used to drop by and chat after I graduated. Bob Skrondal is a great teacher and very down to earth. Just a cool guy. Unfortunately, he wasn't there. They told me at the office that he works on 'B' days...which are Tuesdays and Thursdays. They said he retired, but came back to teach anyway...which really helped them out.

I don't know how screwed up schools are everywhere else, but they are very screwed up in Tigard. Let's start focusing on education, shall we? Portland has been voting against education funding because everytime the option is education or lower property tax. They always seem to be tied together. At this rate, EVERYONE will be as intelligent as our president. Yeah, I said it.

From my high school I head over to my parents. They are not there...it's Wednesday...duh, they're working. I go to the mall and slowly walk around. Come back to my parents...still not there. I walk to 7-11 for a soda. There used to be a trail through the neighbors yard that was a shortcut to 7-11. I decide not to look for it on the way there, but I DO look for it on the way back.

The trek takes me past my old grade school...which is non existant. There is a grade school there, but it isn't my old one. They completely tore down my school and built an entirely new one. It was bizarre to see. I found the trail. It didn't lead me through my neighbor's yard anymore, it went to another house. Close enough.

Still no parents. I watch TV until they get there and we go out for Mexican food. After that I head out to chill and pack and sleep for my morning flight.

Thursday- Fly home.

The whole trip I've been reading "A Million Little Pieces" and it's a good book. I know there is "controversy" as to what is true and what is not in the book, but I don't care. It's a good book. If you can accept the crap our government is dishing out, then this book will seem more than full of truth.

Heading Home

I head back to Portland on the 6th. I haven't been back in about a year and a half. It doesn't seem that long. It always seemed like a long time away while Deanna was still living there. Time flies.

Yesterday I woke up around 4:00am puking. STOMACH FLU! HURRAY!

I don't remember the last time I had a stomach flu, but it's been years. Yesterday I ate about 5 Saltine crackers, drank a lot of water and Sprite. Kept very little of it down. The whole thing died down by the end of the day. I basically was in bed all day when I wasn't in the bathroom.

Around 4:00am THIS morning I was hungry. I ate about 8 crackers and that tided me over enough to sleep. I had errands to run and did some across the street. I got light headed and came home with some food that I ate half of.

Now I'm pretty close to being back to normal. There has been an interesting improv development as well, but it is still in the process of being figured out...more on that later...maybe.

I'm looking forward to the little things about being home. Like getting a Western at Carl's Jr. Seeing old friends. Seeing the city. Taking pictures. Seeing family. Should be good times.

Deanna flies out tomorrow...I hope she doesn't catch my stomach flu last minute. Her flight is going to be terrible if she does. YIKES!