Culture...Diversity...and Cafeterias

"I can't see white or black people. I only see Americans." — Stephen Colbert

I've been curious about society's apparent "need" to have an underdog to pick on. Deanna and I have be watching a PBS DVD series about Chicago. Back in the 1800s it sucked to be Irish. No Irish allowed...no Irish need apply. All that stuff. Germans had it slightly better, because they weren't Irish. After the civil war, African-Americans went from VERY bad (slaves) to slightly better (viewed as 'slaves' by racists).

I mention all of this because there is a major separation in Chicago. Northside, where I live, is predominately white. Southside, where I was today, is predominately black. We went to a show for a church's summer camp...almost all African-American with one or two Hispanic children. It was great! A blast! After the show, Mary took us to what she said was the first cafeteria. The first!

This place was great...and the people we saw in the neighborhood were mostly African-American. When we were sitting down, an older gentleman came up and asked us where we were from. I said "Wrigleyville". He said, "Oh! I thought you were foreigners!"

Earlier in the year...and I may have posted about this...I was on a gig where I had 3 hours to kill, and I was on the southside. I ate at an Applebees and then went to a mall. I was the only white guy in the mall. I got looks from a few people...not mean looks or anything, just looks like "huh?"

We're all people. Sometimes we're just stupid about each other...LIKE THOSE FRENCH!...stupid French.

(I don't feel that way about the French...they just seem to be the ones that are ok to make fun of nowadays)

Alternate Blog

http://rancephoto.blogspot.com/

I've started a photoblog. Daily Photo. Pretty original name, eh?

I've started it to give me a place to post a photo every day. I'm sure there will be days I miss, but I'll do my best. See you there?

Arrested Development

Anyone seen this show? It is cancelled now, but it is hilarious and the characters are great.

I'm a big fan. This is only important because I made a strange realization that I don't know if anyone else has made.

Yesterday I watched "The Village" (Starring Joquin Phoenix and Bryce Dallas Howard (Ron Howard's daughter) among some other greats) for the first time. I had heard bad reviews when it first came out. Now that M. Knight S. has another movie coming out I decided to netflix The Village. I actually liked it a lot. Bryce Dallas Howard plays Ivy Walker. A blind girl. The girl who plays her sister looked really familiar to me. Then I got it...she played "Kitty", the secretary for the Bluths on Arrested Development.

Oddly enough...her name in The Village? Kitty. It's hard to say if they did that on purpose. "Kitty" works with Bryce Dallas Howard on The Village...Ron Howard is a producer for Arrested Development. Hmmmm.

Just nice to stumble onto what I hope is a little secret thing.

Milwaukee

This weekend we went to Milwaukee, WI. "We" being myself, Deanna, and Sam from CSz. Milwaukee Csz was having a regional tournament and we went to represent.

We left at 2:30pm to get Sam's girlfriend from her job downtown...we got to Milwaukee around 6:00. Almost 4 hours.

Other cities in attendance were Indianapolis, Quad Cities, Minneapolis, Houston, and Milwaukee.

It was fun to watch other teams play. There are a couple new games we got. A couple different ways to play games that work great. And a couple games that I can do without.

We played 3 games total, and we went 3-0! No losses!

On Friday night we stayed at the Hilton. We got a pretty good deal through Hotwire, and Sam go the same deal. Here is where I tangent a little.

Deanna and I have been watching this show on TV called "Little People, Big World" on TV. It's about the Roloff family from Oregon. The parents are both Little People. They have a young son, an older daughter, and their oldest kids are twin boys. Of those four kids, only one of the twin boys is a little person as well. This show is great. One, I get to see Oregon stuff on TV (I think they live in Sherwood). Two, it's great to learn about little people. The dad sells kits (Stools, clothes rack extensions, etc) to hotels that help accomodate little people. He also goes to Little people conferences around the nation.

Back to the story. As we were leaving the Hilton on Saturday to get lunch, we saw a little person. Normally if I see someone "different" I stare a little...more because I'm curious than scared or appauled. When she walked by I didn't get that feeling. It was great. THEN I saw another little person. What!? As we got in the elevator to go to the parking garage there were four little people coming out of it. I don't get giddy or starstruck around celebrities much. But I totally got that feeling as we got on the elevator and then headed to our car. THERE WAS A LITTLE PEOPLE'S CONFERENCE IN THE HOTEL!!(I assumed). I wondered if the Roloffs were there. It was a crazy feeling.

From there we went to eat at "The Safe House". If you're ever in Milwaukee, go eat here. It is fun. It is very spy themed. When you go to the restaurant you enter down through an alley. You then go into the "International Export Company" It's a small waiting area that looks kind of like an entrance to a export company. If you wait long enough someone will get on the speaker and ask you for the password. If you know it, they flip a switch and a bookcase opens up to let you in. If you don't, the voice on the speaker has you prepare for your assignment. The room is also displayed on monitors throughout the restaurant so you can see what the people are doing. We watched people: Act like monkeys; do ballet; do the hokey pokey. Once you go through the bookcase you go through a passage and when you step on a certain piece of floor, a panel of wall opens up to reveal the restaurant. The whole place applauds as you walk in if you had to do something to get in.

The Safe House is filled with Spy stuff. Some just being wall displays, but there are some other neat things: The bathroom plays a police scanner instead of music. In the women's bathroom there is a picture of Burt Reynolds in the buff with a metal heart covering his privates. If you try to move the heart you get hit by a burst of air and an alarm goes of in the restaurant letting everyone know what you've done. There's a room in the women's bathroom that let's you see through a mirror out into the restaurant. You can turn a light on in there to let people see you. They had an alibi phone booth that would let you play sound effects over the phone to disguise where you were. The pub on the corner called "the Newsroom" has a special booth that rotates into the Safe House. The neatest little thing we found was a secret exit. You can go through the main exit, or go into a phone booth. Put a quarter in the phone and a voice tells you to enter a code. When you do, the door you came in through locks and says "occupied" to the out side people. Meanwhile a wall slides open and lets you down into a passage that exits the building.

This place was great.

From there we went back to CSz. Did a 3:00 show. Then headed to the Polish Fest for an hour. Luckily we crossed paths with a man and woman who asked if we had our tickets. We said "no". They gave us four tickets. We got in for free! Wandered the grounds. Deanna and I danced one Polka...well we scurried around the floor with other people dancing around us.

Then headed back for the final of our shows.

It was a great time overall. We got on the freeway at 11:01 and made it home by 12:34am. Much better than the drive up.

Today...the Pride Parade is right out our doorstep.

Father's Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!!! (he's one of the few people who read this) (also, you'll be receiving a gift in the mail)

Today we portrayed father's for a client. While on break I noticed one of those mall photography places. On a whim I asked how much the sitting fee was. She said "There's no sitting fee. Also, I'm in training so if you get a picture you'll get a free 8x10". Sold!





Pictures compliments of the fine photographers at http://www.kiddiekandids.com/

Butterflies and Nature (words)

Today Deanna and I settled the remaining phone snafus. When I started up a plan for her, it was under the pretense that she would use her current BlackBerry phone. So I got a Razor phone to use as a second phone if I wanted. Well, she wanted an updated BlackBerry, so we returned the Razor and got the process started on switch her Oregon number over to the new account.

After that we headed home, hopped on our bikes, and rode down to the Nature Museum where they have a Butterfly Garden. A sealed in green house with a lot of butterflies and moths. It was great. See the post below for pics.

There were a lot of Butterflies, and a lot of dead ones as well. We also saw a bird of some sort chilling out in there...Deanna found it. It looks like the bird(s) might nibble at the butterflies as seen in some of the photos...there are a lot of wing tips missing from the bigger ones. They also have a bunch of cacoons on display outside the garden. They release newly hatch butterflies every Sunday at 2:00. Some of the Costa Rican species have glassy looking cacoons that were pretty cool.

After that we went outside to walk around and look at birds. Just as were we're getting ready to walk back down to the main level a red-winged black bird landed on the rail nearby.

I like birds and butterflies.

Butterflies and Nature (photos only)

The "F" is for "Finally!"

Part two.

I didn't wait the full hour to call back. When I called the computers were up.

I presented my case and said I would like my Cingular account closed, AND my AT&T account that it would revert to closed with no cancellation fee. Here was the CSR's clever retort, "Ok."

I wasn't expecting it to be that easy.

One thing I forgot to mention was that I wanted to keep the number to be "ported over" (tech talk) to whatever other service provider I picked. THIS is where she needed to get a manager. She reinstated my phone service with a note saying "Customer will return phone today, waive the cancellation fee". We'll see if that holds true. Just to be safe, before I called them I went online and cancelled my automatic payments. This way they can't just charge a cancellation fee to my bank, they have to bill me...and I can say no to that.

So, mission objective 3: T-Mobile BlackBerry deal. Good ole Rico Diablo is diabolical about finding great deals. One he stumble across involved the BlackBerry: 1000 anytime minutes with unlimited email and text messaged. Email and text is where I was getting extra charges with Cingular so I was in. I went to the store he told me to and Boooooo. They were out of the phone I wanted. So I started talking plans. He says he's never heard of the plan.

I call Rico and ask for the plan details. He confirms them. I tell him my dilema. Rico, the mastermind, says "go to [another nearby location] and see if they have the phone...actually, have the guy there call them to check."

That I did. They had plenty BlackBerry 7105's. Off I went.

I did some masterminding of my own and told the person helping me I left a pamphlet in my other pants that mentioned the deal. She said "Sure!" and hooked me up.

Not only did I get service for myself, I set up Deanna. We now have T-mobile. We now have phone service in our house! And I have one of those Lt. Uhura ear pieces!

PS...all of this traveling was on bike! Jim would be proud...well, he SHOULD be.

The "F" in Phone

I just got effed. I have Cingular...but not regular Cingular...the Cingular that AT&T turned into. I stuck with my old AT&T plan and Cingular just took over the billing. Well...over the last 3 months my signal has started to suck ass. Deanna called in and found out it is because they are taking down the old AT&T towers. I called as well and confirmed.

So, I researched phones and finally picked the one I wanted. I got a Pocket PC from Cingular. I'm still on AT&T contract until September so I figured if I went Cingular I wouldn't have to deal with any cancellation fee hassle.

So I got a phone, signed up, even had them check the service in my area and it said "High" but right near a patch of not so good.

Well. I got home and I have the same shitty service. So, I went back and said I wanted to cancel and return the phone. Joni (the lovely lady who helped me...no sarcasm, she really was great) said I would have to call in to make sure they don't charge me fees. If I return the phone it would revert back to my AT&T plan, but it would take 10 days to get that up and running. If I go to T-mobile (which I am going to) and keep my number, it automatically cancels my plan and I get charged fees.

So I go outside the store (where I DO get a signal) and call to cancel. After holding awhile I get through and ask first to cancel my automatic billing (incase they try to charge me a fee...easier to not pay a bill and keep talking to a manager than to just find out they autobilled it). She says "Our system is down right now but I can answer any general questions". To which I reply "All I have are specific questions." "You should try calling back in an hour."

Bah. So that's where I am. Waiting.

More BEEF

Like I said...Sun screen (it wouldn't let me post more photos). This is Emily teaching us about Dance Pilates. There was a lot of frisbee, sitting around, and sleeping at the beach. It was a nice day. Sunny, but not too warm. I mention sun screen because we all put it on, but a majority of us didn't do it well. My ankles and a small part of my foot got burnt. And I SWORE I would never burn my feet again after a terrible sun burn on my feet a couple years ago.

Ed got burnt, I'm sure some others did too. After hanging out awhile Deanna said she'd go back to the cabin and make sandwiches and bring them back to the beach. Monty went with. About 20 minutes after that, Ed and Susi said they were going to leave and I felt the beach trip diffusing so I said I'd go with them and hope to catch Deanna. We did...right as she was coming down the steps...with sandwiches. So everyone but Ed and Susi stayed a while longer.

Oh, most of the guys were playing frisbee in the water. This is funny for three reasons. 1) Ed had his car keys with alarm in his pocket and they got soaked (I assume they still worked). 2) Later in the afternoon Chris picked up Todd from a train station and met us at the beach. When Todd got in the water he had his phone on him. and 3) Playing frisbee in the water literally tore open the side of Jim's shorts. And then when he went back to play again, it tore open the other side.

That night we ate played games out in the front area like track ball and horse shoes. I don't play horse shoes much, but I played a little out here. I took a picture of one lucky round. I couldn't believe I threw a double ringer. You can call me Roger Miller if you drink tea.

That was the beef trip. Good times. Well done, Beef. Katie, Bill, Piero...you were missed...that's why we called you doing terrible bits.

BEEF CABIN!

I forgot to write about this. Last weekend Deanna and I went camping with my i.O. team, Johnny Roast Beef. And by camping I mean we rented a cabin that had a tv, dvd player, and hot tub. It was Emily's find, and thus was reffered to as her Country Home (said in country accent).

Here's Emily on the porch of her Country home.

I really don't care for camping at all. That was the original idea. "LET'S GO CAMPING!" Boo. I worked at camps for 5 years. I've been outdoors enough to know that it's okay as long as there is an "indoors" at the end of the day. Sleeping on the ground is for animals, suckers, and apparently Chris McAvoy.

We (Deanna, David Montgomery and I) drove up (down and over a little) on Friday. About a 2-3 hour drive from Chicago to the cabin in Michigan. We took off around 3:00pm just to get out of the city before traffic got extremely bad. Emily told us she wouldn't be at the cabin until 6 or 7, so we stopped at Bluechip Casino to kill some time. I lost $57 on a texas hold 'em style table game. Deanna lost $20 on slots. David won $5.25. $5.25 was the big winner.

After that we were on our way and the first to arrive (after Emily, Brian and Jim) at the cabin.

The whole trip was pretty fun. Friday night was a lot of sitting around and eatting. A few slogans or catches phrases were "whose up for the tub?"

"There's no parents here. We can grill whenever we want."

And "you sackin' out?" Which was said to anyone who was saying they were going to go to sleep. I don't have any pics of that.

Saturday, all 9 of us got up and Emily (with help from some other ladies) made a breakfast fit to feed an ARMY! (of 7 or 8)

We then all headed to the beach and put on our Sun Screen...more on that later.

Time out for love

I am surrounded by a lot of good people out here. #1 of course is Deanna. Hands down. She's been working her butt off on a project recently and she is kicking ass at it. She get's stressed out, but I still love her.

A long while ago a few of us from ComedySportz got together. Everyone seemed to be bummed out. I was bummed, Deanna was bummed. I knew of someone else who was, Deanna knew of someone...and those someone's knew of someone. I think there were about six of us initially. Well we got together to hang out and stop being bummed. We had a ridiculous photo shoot. I made CDs for everyone and labeled them "Fun City!"

We've met a few more times with varying people here and there, but Fun City has stuck. So much so that David, the marketing guy at CSz had an idea for something and called in Fun City to take care of it...he calls us Fun City.

So...it looks like Fun City is there to come to the rescue!

To everyone in Fun City...you're the best.

Of Singing and Cinging

For the past month or so...while I've been back in town and done with the teaching gigs, I've been part of an improv group called ACE. What do we do? Well, three of the last 6 Sundays we did an improv set. The other three we did a staged reading of "Guys and Dolls", with music. It was a blast. I was Benny Southstreet.

I had never seen Guys and Dolls before. We got a CD to listen to when we first met. As I listened to it I thought "This is going to suck". The music was okay, but there were a lot of boring songs. Luckily, as we got more familiar with our roles and what not, it started to be fun. Once we got it on stage, it was a blast! Last Sunday was our last Guys and Dolls show. We're taking July off and we'll be back in August with something...maybe Bye Bye Birdie...maybe not. We were talking about doing School House Rock, but it looks like that won't show up until I'm in Maine.

Totally unrelated, our (Deanna and I) phones have been getting really crappy service in our apartment for the past couple months. Deanna looked into it and found out it is because we were AT&T and that got transferred over to Cingular. We didn't necessarily get transferred to Cingular service, we still had our plans, and our phone still use the AT&T towers, it's just handled by Cingular. Well, Deanna found out that they are slowly taking down the AT&T towers. The only people using them are people who haven't "migrated" to new plans. Add to that that my phone is falling apart. TIME TO PHONE SHOP! Deanna will probably switch to T-mobile. I am still undecided. I would like to get a pocket PC so I can connect my GPS (see earlier post) to it on the road.

I also bought a 580EX flash for my camera. I understand my camera fully. I understand my headshot lights. I have never liked the look from a mounted flash. So, I'm taking an online course that looks great. If nothing else, it will help me like using a flash when needed.

Yeehaw!

In Dallas. Back to doing Yahoo stuff. This week is a little more relaxed, 1 training slot on two out of 3 days...so just two trainings total instead of 3 a day.

Today, after training, I went out with my camera to fins cows or horses. It actually wasn't long until I found an Equestrian Club. Took some fun pics that I can't put up until I get home.

Now if you'll excuse me, the Lost finale is starting.

Did we really like this stuff?

Right now I'm watching "Top Secret" on HBO Family. Maybe I've been doing improv so long that campy bits are lost on me now, but this movie is ridiculous, and I remember loving it when I was younger.

It's like a terrible pun every 2 minutes. It reminds me of Mel Brooks' any movie.

I never saw "Blazing Saddles" when I was younger, but everyone speaks of it's hilarity, and I did a VO that changed the words of a scene in that movie. I then bought the DVD of this hilarious gem. I then watched it.

It is a different era, friends. The humor in it is very punny/HA HEY! And a lot of it is racist.

Speaking of HA HEY! Val Kilmer in Top Secret was at a play and had to hide. He went into the "Prop Room"...once inside it was full of PROPELLERS!!! HA HEY!

Was it a simpler time? Are movies that are currently out as stupid, but in a different way?

Around the world...

...in one buffet!

This week I'm in lovely St. Louis. I drove to see the St. Louis Arch...done.

So...what else is there to do in St. Louis? Apparently smoke. Other than that I decided to go to Harrah's Casino. You'll be happy to know my fame and fortune automatically boosted me to the Gold level. So that was cool. You're required to get a points card before you go into the casino. Apparently it helps keep track of the people. There is a law that you can only gamble (lose) $500 every 2 hours.

When I got my gold card I also got a free ticket for the buffet...which was great because I hadn't eatten yet. I got there around 7pm and looked for my game....Let It Ride. I found something similar called something like Texas Hold'em Style. You ante in with $3-$50, you also have the option to play the bonus. The bonus is a $1-$25 bet and you win based on your first two cards. You are dealt 2 cards only, and if they are any pair, or some combo of Ace & Jack or higher, you win based on your bonus bet.

Once you see your two cards you then either bet double your ante ($6-$100) to see the flop of three cards that everyone gets to use, or you fold. The dealer will then deal a fourth card and a fifth. You get a chance to match your ante before each of those cards are drawn. Then it is your hand vs the dealer's hand. My very first hand I bet $3, and then $1 on the bonus. I was dealt two Aces, which is great. The dealer ended up winning the had with three of a kind, but he gave me $30. I didn't get it. It was because I played the bonus! And getting Two Aces pays the highest bonus odds, 30-1. Well...this game I liked.

I played for 2 hours and ended up being close to even when I was ready to go to the buffet. On a whim I bet $5 on the bonus for my last hand. I was dealt an Ace King, which paid out 15-1...so I won $75 on that bonus even though I lost the hand.

Then I was off to the previously hinted buffet. I had food from the four corners of the world: Crab Rangoon, Pizza, Chicken-fried steak, and salad.

You know you're in a good casino when they have a cigarette vending machine, AND every restroom has a convient disposal for insulin syringes! FUN!

Back on the Road

Same company, different training. This time I'm in Detroit, MI.

I get the strange feeling you're asking yourself, "But Rance, what do you on the road?"

It is pretty simple and usually involves TV. I like to go out and explore if I have a day free, but I don't...and these trainings can be draining. So, my week usually includes watching shows I don't normally watch on TV...like Amazing Race, Wheel of Fortune, and last night...Myth Busters.

Since I'm doing 5 trainings a day, I get home around 6:00 and I'm tired of standing so I order food or get food and then TV! Kind of boring.

Hmm.

Today while waiting for my Honey BBQ Steak to go from Chili's I went across the street to Comp USA. While killing time there I found Microsoft Streets & Trips 2006 with GPS Locator. WITH GPS LOCATOR!!!

Add to that there was a $40 rebate and you have awesome.

I have a laptop that is now a GPS locator with voice driving directions. I just tried it out and it works. It will be extra handy for any future gigs, and for when Deanna and I drive to Maine this Summer.

Thank you, technology.

Farewell DSL / Rumor Has It...

I finished my last training job yesterday. I'll be back training on a different topic later on in the month, but this leg is done.

I was in Alhambra, CA near L.A. for most of the week, and then Sacramento on Friday.

Upon returning to the airport to fly home I noticed everyone looking out the window. Human nature kicked in and I followed them to see what was up. Right there on the runway was Air Force One...and just 5 days after I had seen it blown out of the air on 24 (season 4 disc 4...oh yeah...SPOILER).

It was far enough away that I couldn't see if the President was there. I know he was flying in to meet with the Governator.

I then flew to Denver, then to Chicago.

On the flight from Denver to Chicago there were a couple things.

1) one of the flight attendants HAD TO BE in witness protection. A stout, older guy...totally looked like he could have been ex-mob and now was a flight attendant. It was bizarre.

2) I saw the movie "Rumor Has It..." with Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Costner. Rumor Has It...that Jennifer Aniston can't act that well. She did ok, but anytime she was supposed to hysterically cry I found myself thinking "I could do better than that if I were playing the female role...I would be more believable." Another thing about this movie. The guy playing her fiancee (no idea what his name is)...this guy has popped up recently and pretty much plays the same roles all the time. I've seen him in two different movies on airplanes...both as the straight man love interest. I don't remember what the first movie was. He was also the straight man love interest in that movie where what's-her-name from Walk the Line is a ghost. I can't believe I can't think of her name...Legally Blonde...that girl. Anyway, I'm sure Eric or Rich will know the name of her, and the guy I'm talking about. So this guy. He seems to be in everything in this role, he's good at the role, but just not that interesting. He was also...uh boy....I'm blanking on names...he was in that movie with Tom Cruise (bad guy) and Jamie Foxx (cab driver). All I can think of is Minority Report...and it's not that. Anyway, the guy I'm talking about is a cop/detective that is trying to catch Tom. That's the only place I've seen him NOT as the love interest.

Man...I think I just found something hereditary that I got from my dad...inability to remember movie names and actor names. And if it IS hereditary, it will only get worse from here. My favorite movie name guess of my dad's: "Stench of a Woman" instead of "Scent of a Woman".

Back in Action

Well...I had a week off. Stayed home and took some headshots, AND had a fun easter celebration!!

That's right...bunnies and bees!

The day after easter I flew to my current location...Alhambra, CA. Things have been low key this time around. One of the bonuses of flying is that someone is always sick...always. I'm feeling it a little, but fighting it off.

My flight was potentially terrible, and then got better. I was standing behind a lady who was about 5'4". As we slowly made our way to our seats on this full flight, she went to an aisle seat in the emergency row...5'4"!!! If you're short and you sit in the emergency row, Karma will get you (PS. my new name is Karma).

I, and my long legs, had a window seat. My last two flight have blessed me with aisle seats (so I can pop my knee...those who know me, know)...but they were next to an old man with a newspaper. TWO FLIGHTS! DIFFERENT OLD MEN! Why do I mention the paper? Because it would drift over onto me, as well as old man elbows. At least I was in the aisle and could easily escape.

As I took my window seat I waited to see if my old man fate would reach me. Nope...a baby! A cute adorable baby..well...1-2 year old. She sat right there in the middle seat as her mom sat in the aisle and her huge, muscular dad put things in the overhead. I'm thinking "GREAT! This is the best! I won't be fighting for the arm rest or leg space with this little kid in the seat!" And then, her huge dad sits in the middle seat. Ugh.

I had been Pepsi-ing up and used the bathroom. When I came back he offered to have me sit in the aisle and everything was good and well. Whew! That was a close one!

I got to see the Chronicles of Narnia finally. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is an animated film that I remember very well from my childhood. I almost started crying when Aslan made his "agreement" just because that little kid part of me remembered what happen and I felt like a little kid again. It wasn't that bad when they finally got back to it. Glad to finally see it.

I've been meaning to get out to IO West while I'm here, but being slightly sick has made me do nothing more than watch TV and go find food. I got 10 hours of sleep last night...which is VERY odd for me considering I woke up at 7:00am.

In other news. I got an interesting message on my MySpace page. It was from someone named simply, Kim. Turns out Kim is the Kim who is the sister of my old friend Aaron. I've been friends with Aaron since at least the 9th grade...maybe 8th...definitely not 7th. Aaron and Blaine were my friends from that era, and the only ones I really hung out with after High School. I ended up working with Blaine at the job I had before moving to Chicago (I was there for 5 years, he's still there) and still hung out with Aaron.

One day, and I don't really remember when, but I feel like it was before 1996...definitely before 1999. He just left. He didn't say anything to Blaine or I. He was just gone. We never heard from him. At my 10 year reuninon I bumped into some guys he hung out with that I also knew (I guess they were kind of friends) and they had seen him time to time, but he was always on the go, and usually burning bridges.

Well, Kim sends a message saying "how's it going" and gives me Aaron's phone number. He's living in Phoenix. I called him and got voicemail. It's weird to have a friend from childhood and later just disappear. So, it's good to know he's still alive.

Of Blasting and Stupidity

As promised...your's truly, destroying the evil Zorg.

Something that has been bugging me lately is the general stupidity of the population. In specific...ignorance...I think.

Here's what I'm talking about. I'm in at least two airports twice a week when I'm on these gigs. If the airport has a moving walkway, there is a voice saying "Caution, you are about to get on a moving walkway" at the beginning and "Caution, the moving walkway is ending" at the end.

Are we that dumb? C'mon people. Use your brains. You see a part of the floor is moving. If you pay attention, then you'll do just fine. But there are the idiots out there (case in point, grandmother on AFV who is standing backwards on the walkway and smiling at the camera, and then the walkway ends and she falls over) who don't. And quite possibly, these same idiot take it to court to be rewarded for their stupidity. I can only imagine that is the case or the airports and other businesses with other warnings would go to all the trouble to put obvious warnings on things.

If you can't tell that a toy that has small parts could be a choking hazzard for your one year old, you don't deserve to be a parent. You failed...failer.

This kind of ties into my trainings I've been doing. One of the first things they do is fill out a little form with some info for a fun activity. This week, hardly anyone brought a pen. I ask "do you have a pen?" and the reply is "nobody told me I would need a pen." Time to make some assumptions, America. I'm going to go somewhere to learn...I might need to write something.

So, there. Stupidity. Stupidity and indecisiveness drive me crazy. I may do some stupid things sometimes, but I'm decisive and informed when I do it.

The Happiest Place on Earth!

I'm still in Tustin, and 7-10 miles away from Disneyland. DL is open until 11pm...I get done with training at 4:30.

Today I braved traffic and went to Disneyland. A lot of changes since I went in 97-98...like California Adventures where a parking lot used to be. It took me a while to find the actual parking lot. Once I did the rest was easy. I'm all by myself here in Tustin and I was all by myself in Disneyland. I got there around 5:00 or so.

First place I went was Indian Jones!!! This ride is my favorite, and it still is. I was sending pics to Joey, Tara, Rich and Deanna as I went. This ride is even better when the wait is 15 minutes. This is the perfect time of year to go to Disneyland.

From there I was going to try a ride I hadn't been on before, but I saw Star Tours and the sign said the wait was 5 minutes. On either side of me was a parent with a small child. The dad to the left of me was trying to tell his kid:

Dad: "now, this is going to have a movie screen that will show a movie. It will seem like we're going into space, but we aren't really. The room will move too..."

The kid was fine the whole time, but the dad kept checking in through the whole thing.

From there I went to Astro Rangers? The Buzz Lightyear ride with lazer tag. This was fun. You get scores and a picture. I'll put the pic up here if I remember.

Next was space mountain. High speed roller coaster in the dark, fantastic. I was laughing hard by the end of it. So fun! WITH HARDLY ANY LINES!

Then it was time to ride the Matterhorn...for Prouty! I called Prouty and had him on the phone for the ride, so that was kind of fun and ridiculous.

Then I hit Small World. Creepy as ever. This is where it dawned on me that this place isn't as fun by yourself.

There was some parade. A typical one.

I ate a $9 crappy burger and went to Thunder Mt. Railroad...another great. From there it was back to Indy Jones and Buzz. The fireworks display was cancelled, and I was ready to leave.

It was fun...but I wish you were there.

Tustin Cologne, Tustin Fits

I'm in Tustin, CA this week...a.k.a. Santa Ana. It's weird being here after living in Chicago. I can drive for 10 miles in any direction here and go through at least three cities. Chicago is huge, these places are small.

While in the O'Hare Airport on Monday I saw...DITKA! He was on one of those carts that take people to their gates. I was heading to get food and didn't realize it fully until the cart had gone by, otherwise I would have hopped on and snapped a photo.

I'm very close to Disneyland here. I hope I make it out there sometime. The traffic is TERRIBLE when I get done doing training. It will probably take an hour to make the 10 mile drive. Add to that it was raining today. But I think I'll still go. They are open until 11:00pm, so I'll get in 5 hours. Figure I'll hit the new things that I haven't been on since I was there last (97-98ish).

SPEAKING OF CREEPY!...Kenny Rogers is on American Idol right now as the guest "star" who goes over songs with each singer. He...is...BOTOX'd! He and Barry Manilow are cree-py looking.

Hi-ho the derry-o. Spring is finally here.

Tomorrow morning I will be dressing up as a bumble bee. If you know me, you know I've also been: Willy Wonka, Prince Charming, a farmer, and a reindeer. Tomorrow...a bumble bee. I'll be hanging out with a Pixie and the Easter Bunny.

How else do I know Spring is here? ANTS!

I hate ants! HATE!

If you ever want me to destroy another human, cover them in ants. Ants trigger something in me that instantly says "destroy". Thank you, RAID. Although your "Kills on Contact" spray is lacking a little as I watch ants walk around after they're sprayed.

Also Deanna has killed 4 spiders this week. The bugs they are a-thawing.

Bakersfield!

What a time to be in Bakersfield! Here is what happened of note while I was out there:

Country-
As all of you know. Bakersfield is (was) home to Buck Owens...of "Hee-Haw" and country music fame. I drove on Buck Owens Blvd. He has this country music museum, restaurant, and I think a sizeable concert space out there. It's big time.

Well, he died last Friday night. In his sleep after performing. I happened to catch a little special on TV about him. He created this country music museum...had these bronze statues made of country greats like Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, Merle Haggard (or something like that), and others (including himself). When the statues were unvealed the people who were portrayed in bronze (who were still alive) were there. And Garth Brooks PROPOSED TO TRISHA YEARWOOD RIGHT THEN AND THERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!! (I don't follow country music at all).

I found out from the Manager of the place I was doing my trainings that tomorrow (Saturday) is the funeral and they are supposedly closing the freeway that took me from my hotel to the airport. So I got out of there just in time. Farewell, Buck Owens. It seems just yesterday you were here. Once I finally made it to Bakersfield, plbbbt!, You were gone.

An Actual Country-
California is a state that is right above Mexico (the more you knooooowwwwww). Apparently there is some legislation coming up that has Mexican teens in an uproar. The legislation is supposed to crack down on illegal immigrants. There were two school walk out protests while I was here. All Jr. High-High school students waving Mexico's flag. Lots of news footage of teens talking about how Mexicans come over and do the jobs no one wants to do. The pressure is slowly building and there is another scheduled walk out for 4/10 (JOIN UP!). While I was driving from my last training to the airport I saw a white guy sitting on a wall with an american flag. Two Mexican youths were walking by and yelling at him. One of them spit on him and he just calmly picked up his phone. A couple white people popped up on the other side of the wall and yelled at the mexican teens. One of the teens threw a punch. Then the two teens made their way across the 6 lane road (not a freeway or highway...just a CA road). There were already a lot of Police driving around the area, and it wasn't long before the teens started running and two cop cars were heading there direction.

My take? Unless you're a Native American, you're pretty much an immigrant. Settle down everybody!

F this S-
I flew from Bakersfield to Phoenix, and now I am here in Phoenix. My flight was supposed to leave at 10:30pm and arrive in Chicago at 2:49am. My flight is delayed until 11:20.

I managed to get to California Pizza Kitchen right before they and every other food place closed for the night. I sat next to a table that had a mother and a son. The son was about 11 or 12. They were having a very cordial conversation that went a little something like this:

Mom: (all said in a pleasant voice)You're really just saying those thing to rebel. It really isn't nice to say S or D.

Son: I know. It just comes out sometimes....my teacher says D.

Mom: Really? When?

Son: Like "Oh I forgot to grade you D reports!"

Mom: Laughing Well...D isn't as bad as S or others, unless you are using it with his heavenly father's name...that is VERY bad. You should never do that.

Son: What do you mean?

Mom: GD.

Son: Oh. [some name] says [something I couldn't hear] but it's ok because of her beliefs.

Mom: She believes in God. But you're right. She can say what she wants. (long pause) Ben doesn't say GD does he?

Son: Sometimes.

Mom: (pause) Well he knows better than that.

It was a wonderful conversation filled with letters.


What will happen on my adventures next week? Stay tuned and find out!

Delicious Goodness

This week I'm in lovely Bakersfield, CA. Nothing too cool of note here as of yet...except for...CARL'S JR.!!!!

Not long before I moved to Chicago I discovered the Carl's Jr. Western Burger. This is a greasy burger with cheese, bacon, BBQ sauce, and onion rings INSIDE the bun! I also put fries in the bun as well.

In Oregon the fries were terrible. I would put them in the burger because that was the only way to tollerate them.

Here...the fries are great! It is delicious and gross at the same time. I can't stop going there.

Unexpected Hilarity

So, I'm sitting here in the Wichita, KS airport (ICT) watching season 4 of 24 on my laptop.

I am pretty done seeing everything there is in Wichita so I got to the airport super early. I'm on disc 2 of 6...I watched the first episode on the disc and started the second.

Every episode of 24 starts with "previously on 24" and then there is a recap. Since I just watched the prior episode I clicked on fast forward.

The difference between my laptop and my DVD player at home? The laptop plays sound as it fast forwards. It is...HILARIOUS! If you've ever seen those bunny shorts (I think it's actually bunnyshorts.com), it's like that. People delivering dramatic lines at break neck pace.

If you have a DVD player that plays FFWD with sound...try it out. It's great!

Wichita, KS

I've been in Wichita, KS since Monday. I leave tomorrow (Friday). There really isn't a lot to do here.

Luckily I have a rental car, and I caught a cold on the plane. So I mostly hang out in my hotel room or drive around looking for a new place to eat.

There is a freak winter storm (in spring) that is hitting a huge area. It snowed last night and will be cold tonight (for Wichita).

I finally got to eat at a Sonic. Molly is in tons of commercials for Sonic, and they play on cable everywhere. I've seen them in Chicago, I've seen them in Portland. But there are no "Sonic" restaurants in those areas. So, I ate there two nights ago. Pretty good.

Last night I decided to try out a place called Spangles. Fast food with the slogan "It Just Tastes Better." THAT'S A LIE! Their food was crap! DON'T EAT AT SPANGLERS! GROSS!

I've been doing these corporate trainings for a major communications company. They're pretty good. I'm doing two a day this week and 3 a day for three more weeks in other cities. Luckily there are some breaks for fun stuff, but I'm pretty into the product and don't mind upselling it.

I'd rather not be sick though.

Ahhhh, airline travel. Tomorrow I get my chance to pay it forward to some other non-ill passenger.

Wichita, KS

I've been in Wichita, KS since Monday. I leave tomorrow (Friday). There really isn't a lot to do here.

Luckily I have a rental car, and I caught a cold on the plane. So I mostly hang out in my hotel room or drive around looking for a new place to eat.

There is a freak winter storm (in spring) that is hitting a huge area. It snowed last night and will be cold tonight (for Wichita).

I finally got to eat at a Sonic. Molly is in tons of commercials for Sonic, and they play on cable everywhere. I've seen them in Chicago, I've seen them in Portland. But there are no "Sonic" restaurants in those areas. So, I ate there two nights ago. Pretty good.

Last night I decided to try out a place called Spangles. Fast food with the slogan "It Just Tastes Better." THAT'S A LIE! Their food was crap! DON'T EAT AT SPANGLERS! GROSS!

I've been doing these corporate trainings for a major communications company. They're pretty good. I'm doing two a day this week and 3 a day for three more weeks in other cities. Luckily there are some breaks for fun stuff, but I'm pretty into the product and don't mind upselling it.

I'd rather not be sick though.

Ahhhh, airline travel. Tomorrow I get my chance to pay it forward to some other non-ill passenger.

Ramping Up Again

Well...I'm sure I'll be posting more stuff soon that is boring to people in Chicago, but interesting to my family and maybe Declan.

I've got another gig coming up where I'll be out of town for 20 days in March and April. 20. Twenty. And only four cities this time...one in Kansas and three in California...I think.

On a different note. If you haven't seen an episode of "24", you should watch that show. I never seem to listen to hype about shows, and then by the time I realize "maybe this IS a good show" I'm so far behind that it makes no sense to start watching. That's where this awesome new trend in TV Shows being released on DVD comes in...mixed with a little "Netflix" goodness.

There are currently 5 seasons of 24. The currently airing season is 5. I'm up to date on that season and I just finished watching season three. This is good stuff. They kill off main characters...MAIN CHARACTERS! It is great. The only thing I haven't liked so far is that (AND THIS WILL BE A MINOR SEASON THREE SPOILER) Jack Bauer (the main character...Keifer Sutherland) is supposedly addicted to heroin because of undercover work. He is feeling the effects of it in the first episode, and it's a part of the first five or so, then that story line just sort of disappears. And the ending was a little predictable at times in three...but still good.

That being said, that is pretty much all that is wrong with it. I love to hate the character Shari Palmer. Great! She makes me so angry! Great actress in my book...I hope the actress isn't like her character in real life.

The only downfall to watching season five while catching up is that sometimes there are people who's lives are in jeopardy, but I know they'll be fine because I've seen them in season five. But not everyone survives. I don't recommend doing what I did for the first episode of season five alone...major stuff.

Go to netflix and start watching...all you need to do is watch 96 hours of the show until you get to watch the current 24 hours of this season. You've got time.

Oh! And we're going back to Maine...I think...in September/October this time.

PS. don't read the comments if you don't want to see Declan's 24 Season 5 spoilers

Power Weekend

I don't think I've really talked about improv in a while.

I had a power weekend this time around. Friday started off with a Johnny Roast Beef show at I.O. and something was amiss with the electrical system. It was the last show for the first group. Right after their opening the lights went out. Everything was dead in the control room. It ended up being that a breaker got triggered, but this team was left to do their last show in the dark...until they came on...and until someone went back to see what the problem was by turning on the computer and tripping the breaker again. That team got the lights blown three times. We followed their show and had zero light problems...go figure. We had a great show. Big time fun. Katie Nahnsen, ladies and gentlemen...keep that name in your brains. She's funny and will go places. Emily is funny too, but she's too comfortable in her day job to take the risk of low paying opportunities.

I went straight from their to reffing at CSz. The longest show I've reffed in a while. Just a weird coincidental show where not a single game we played was short.

Saturday meant two CSz shows...reffing, then sound. Yep...3 CSz shows and I didn't play in a single one. The show I reffed was phenomenal. I told everyone before the audience even started coming in that I smelled a good show. I was getting suggestions for 5 things and this kid, who had given me plenty of suggestions, gave me "Liquid Nitrogen." I took "mud" instead, but told him if Molly said "Liquid Nitrogen" I would give him a dollar. 5 things ends and I'm telling the audience what their half-time options are when Molly stands up and says "Ref Rance? I have an announcement...Liquid Nitrogen." During the second half I gave that kid a dollar.

Tonight (Sunday) was a partial surprise. Rich text messaged me to see what I was doing. I had shoots in the afternoon and an 11:00pm show at IO. He said "we're going to play in the set at SC". See, SC is Second City. They do an improv set after their shows and they let guests play sometimes. Tonight was my second time. The first time was with Deanna and I was nervous and boring. This time I was getting some good ones in there. It was fun and the cast is very, VERY nice about welcoming and thanking guests. Thanks SC!

From there we went to IO to see Bill Arnet's one man show (I think I spelled his last name wrong), and Meta Five before I did my Super Fun Times show. Super Fun Times is a group that just kind of got together to start doing shows in this 11:00 slot. I got invited two Sundays ago and played in the last three shows. And tonight, since Rich and Molly were there for Bill's show, we invited them to play with us. It was nice for them 'cause Molly is on Mainstage SC and her and Rich don't get to perform together as much as they used to.

EVERYONE WINS!

Killing Time

Eric Lindberg wrote about this and I feel compelled to as well. Last night we had a three hour rehearsal with a guy who started Poetry Slam in Chicago. He was talking to us because he was working with our artistic director to combine CSz and Poetry Slam...into PoetrySportz. I haven't been free on a night it has played, but I hear nothing but great things.

He is at our rehearsal to help wit our poetry based games. The first hour was all him talking about history, which left me instantly disconnected. I should start by saying that Spoken Poetry is one of my least favorite forms of "entertainment". It is sort of a bastard middle ground between poems on paper, and songs...both of which I like. I like writing poems, I like reading poems, but watching someone theatrically express their poem? Poison. It's good to see in order to represent it on a comedy stage...but not on a frequent basis.

To those who love it. Good. Great! That's why it's still around! You love it!

It just makes me cringe...and apparently, it makes me lose my train of thought. Bu-bye.

Days 12 & 13: Beloit, WI

My dad emailed me for the ending to this epic adventure. Apparently my life is Harry Potter-esque...except there's no magic or school or dead Dumbledore's (if you didn't know this, keep up...c'mon).

Not a super eventful ending to the adventure. Beloit, WI. I like to pronounce it "Bloit". It was far enough away that we needed to leave Wednesday night and shoot all day Thursday. The drive was not in a corporate jet...it was in Rich's car. Pretty standard...a few rounds of 21 questions.

It was snowing the day we left. Nothing major...minor accumulation. It was the kind of snow I like...you look outside, you see snow, that song from A Charlie Brown Christmas when they're ice skating starts playing in your head.

We get to Beloit. It is still kind of snowing...but it's 12 degrees. Twelve. Degrees. Ugh.

We wake up early the next morning and head over to the main office. We had to shoot our opener and closer of the whole piece. All of the other stuff we were shooting was the stuff that went in the middle. It took us until about 7:00. I was sooooo hungry by the time we were done. I was so hungry I felt like I was going to throw up. We stopped at some place...Ruby Tuesdays? Our server had a thick Wisconsin accent...so that was fun. We were pretty out of it from a long day. We got back and I was done.

The other three have one more shoot. Tomorrow as a matter of fact.

It was fun times. I may have a different gig in March for a different client, but no video stuff.

Oh, on the way home, Dumbledore died. The End.

Days 9-11 of 13 (+?): Texas

The Journey continues. This time we are missing our corporate Lear jet, as well as Sarah and Paul. We meet early at the airport to check our luggage and go through security...things that have been rendered foreign to us previously.

After the flight, we drive from the George Bush Airport in Houston to Stafford, TX. I've asked myself to pass the following message along to the State of Texas from my mouth, "Your roads and tolls suck!"

Oddly enough, with our track record of driving, we made it there without a single missed turn! AMAZING! We had one car this time, so Rich and I got to see the navigation chaos up close instead of just following and wondering what they are doing. Here is how it works. The director is driving. As I said earlier, I thought he was the problem, but we found out later it was the camerman, Rich. So Rich (the cameraman...I'll refer to Rich the actor by his self-given nickname, "Draggin'") sits shotgun and has the google map. He gets easily distracted by stuff outside or by his own stories. Dan the sound guy sits behind them with a handheld GPS system. GPS! He bought this because of how bad they are with directions. But, they still don't listen as much as they should. Regardless, we get to the hotel with zero problems.

After a meal and sleep we pack up to head to the branch of the store we're shooting for. It's Texas, and it's warm. I didn't sleep well because I'm coming down with a cold. The first shoot they want to set up doesn't require either of us...this ends up meaning a two hour nap in the van. Awesome. So the shoot didn't really start until 10:00am...but we would be hitting two locations during the day.

We finish at our first location and head to the second. Rich and I get to meet AJ Foyt, Jr...four time Indy 500 winner. We're shooting at his garage. There are about 9 indy cars in there...Rich got to sit in one! Neither of us are sports fans...and racing is somehow included in sports. We also meet his newest driver, Felipe Giaffone (I think that is his name). We're just happy to meet him...but it isn't a big deal to us. Later I find out Deanna told Rebecca H. about us meeting him and she flipped out and called her dad. He's big news.

Enter Black Friday. The weather went from warm to cold and windy really fast, and then we headed out to a new hotel closer to the airport. In comes the usual driving. I'll say we took five wrong turns, and I might be missing some. We kept turning too early...all the while, Dan was saying "we need to go down further according to the GPS". He was right.

We ate. Slept. And shot some stuff at the airport...then hoped on the Commercial flight home.

We have at least one day of driving to the last(?) location and one day of shooting. There may be one more thing after that, but I think next week's 1.5 days will be the end of this job.

It has been great.

PS. I'm watching The Colbert Report on Comedy Central right now and he has referred to Oregon as "California's Canada" for the second time now.

Day 7 & 8 of 10 (+?): San Ramon, CA/Ogden, UT

Fun shoot today. Kidnapping/interrogation scene. I stopped by the local Target store before the shoot and picked up some DVDs. I ate a bagel. We went to the shoot. Not a lot outside of that.

Until.

We flew to Ogden, UT that night...whoa. Have you been to Ogden?! Have you?! That whole city's east side touches the base of a HUGE mountain range...HUGE! RIGHT THERE!

We landed and looked to the east and saw the strangest night sky. Why? Because it wasn't sky...it was MOUNTAIN! I can't explain it any better. It was fantastic.

I had it pretty easy here. My shoot was in the morning...in the hotel. Around 1:30am in the hotel I heard a gurgling noise from the bathroom. I went in there and watch water slowly start to rise up from the sink drain. I switched rooms and didn't end up really sleeping until around 3:30 or so.

Got up early and did the shoot. Drove over to drop of everyone and drove around Ogden. Pretty basic. Then we got out of there around 4:00 and headed back to Chicago. Rich and I made it back in time for our IO show.

Robyn Norris was celebrating her B-day right next to IO, so we stopped in there to get some food. There were a LOT of friends there and it was nice to come straight off a job to lots of friends.

Our show at 10:30 was a group of people we put together and just asked if we could play. We got two slots. Tuesday at 10:30 and next Tuesday. We're up before a show called the Lottery. We rocked it, hard. Super fun show. Especially because I got to play with Deanna. We rarely get to do longform together out here unless it is just the two of us.

Day 6 of 10 (+?): Chicago-San Ramon, CA

After only one day off (Saturday) we're back together again and on our way to lovely San Ramon, CA. Back on the jet and hittin' the west. We left from an airport about 50 miles outside of Chicago. We started from this airport instead of a closer one so that we wouldn't have to land to refuel. The cool thing about this flight? It was my turn to watch the landing.

That's right. I stood right behind the pilots and watched the landing through the front windows. I'm the third one of the group to do this. It is pretty cool.

We land and hit a bump in our planning. The rental cars were left in the parking lot for us. The keys were left in the airport...the airport that closed 35 minutes before we landed. We lucked out in that there was a van cab waiting for a client to arrive at the airport...in three hours. Lucky. We head to our hotel...which was right next to a delicious Marie Callendar Restaurant. I've never heard of this place...except that some people I know did a big promo gig for them.

Luckily, when we got back to the hotel, we all went to my room and played Fluxx while watching the ever-terrible "Batman and Robin".

I'm not on the morning shift, so I go to bed a little late.

Day 5 of 5 (+5): Fall River, MA

Still cold in the morning. We head out to the site. This time, the director gives me a copy of his mapquest directions.

One of the directions is "Exit 2W Fall River". It is really "2B", but still Fall River. I see this and I predict they will pass the exit, even though I know it is actually the right one.
.
.
.
Yep. They pass it. Now a whole new equation.

Mapquest sucks, folks. Don't use it. I have never had possitive results with mapquest. Use mapblast.com (aka MSN Maps) or google maps if you want actual directions that work.

We get there and Rich and I do our part of the shoot. I'd say we finish at noon, which is great. We drive out to pick up Sarah and Paul at the hotel...MORE HOT 106!

We get back and drive to a nearby restaurant/bar for the Paul and Sarah shoot. They serve Portugese(sp?) food here and we all have lunch. Good stuff.

I drive around to explore the town for a while but don't really find anything interesting...sorry, Fall River.

This shoot takes awhile because we're dealing with a bunch of employees, and then random patrons of the bar. It is a very blue collar town. We ge done around 6:30 and start packing up. Paul gets cornered in the bathroom by an extremely drunk guy who wants to know about the shoot, but won't let Paul leave. Paul gets out. Later, that same drunk guy comes in and is asking a bunch of questions. Not in an angry way. In a curious, extremely wasted way. He is having trouble standing. He gets a little animated...still not angry, just super wasted. The guys from the company we're shooting are regulars at this place and in good with the owner. The drunk guy is getting louder and more animated. Right in the middle of a drunken rambling the owner comes in and says "What are you doing in here?! Stop! Go sit down!" The drunk guy instantly stops and walks off like a 5 year old who just got busted. It was great.

We finally pack up. Since I've been driving around, the director says to me "I assume you know how to get us back to the freeway?" I say yes and he tells me to lead the way and then follow him once we get to the freeway. I take a slightly alternate route. We need to head down one road then take a left on a main road. The road I pick to get to the main road, well...doesn't let you turn left onto that main road. So I start laughing that I just went the wrong way because of how many times the director has. I make a right, another right, another, and get back to the road we really need. He is flashing his lights and honking, and I know it is saying "who sucks at driving now?"

This whole day I was hoping we would make it back in time for me to be at my IO show with Johnny Roast Beef at 8:00pm....I got home at 10:15. I didn't make it.

You may have noticed the (+) and now the (+5) in the headings. We knew there would be more dates, but didn't know when. I'm back Saturday, leave Sunday for CA, Leave Monday for UT, come back Tuesday, home Wednesday, leave Thursday for TX, come back Friday. SO....more to come.

Day 4 of 5 (+): Huntsville, AL

Huntsville was a nice shoot. We had the best hotel of the trip so far. I finally got some sleep.

I was scheduled for the afternoon shoot because Paul and Sarah's script required an employee who needed to leave by 1:00pm. I slept very well until 7:15, then fitfully until 10:00. At 10:30 there was a phone call that I missed. At 10:32 there was a knockin' on my "Do Not Disturb" laden door.

I called down to the front desk for a late check out and they said I was already checked out. I told them that I was right here.

Grabbed some chow at Chick-fil-a. I've only had their food once in Lloyd Center's Food Court, but it was close, and a little chilly out. Caught a cab to the site...here are the directions: Take a right out of the hotel; follow that road; take a left; you're there. I heard that in the morning they didn't find it.

I can't remember what I have said on this subject yet, but I must comment now. We always have two cars. One car is always the director, camera man, and sound guy. The other is us four actors. We always follow the director. Not ONE SINGLE TIME has the drive gone without a last-second exit, missed exit, or fake lane change. Everytime. Always. Even in the situation above of "go down one street and turn on the street you need" got messed up. We've been blaming the director, but the sound guy confirmed that it is the camera guy's navigation.

I don't remember if I commented before because it was a sore spot for us. By this point it is hilarious...even to the director who is doing the driving.

So I'm taking this cab and we pass something I thought was funny. A bar called "Bench Warmers" had a sign that said "SUN: Naughty Girl Contest". Naughty Girl Contest. Not Wet T-shirt or bikini...naughty. Struck me funny.

I got on site and waited a bit for Sarah and Paul's part to be done. We shot our stuff and left around 6:00 or so.

Get to the airport and we're off to Fall River, MA...two hour flight. It was a toss up as to where we would be going. Either MA of VA. Because of that toss up, we discovered on the plane that we had no hotel booked. Luckily there is a plane on the jet and we got someplace close to the airport. WHEW.

When we landed we dicovered that MA was COLD! It was only about 33 degrees but we were just in warm florida two days ago and had forgotten what Chicago feels like. COLD! We find our hotel (with only a minor wrong turn). It is the worst hotel we've stayed in, but it is much better than not having a hotel at all. The rooms were very cold. I had my heat set to 90 degrees and it felt like 55. Luckily, I was scheduled for the morning shoot.

While driving around that night looking for food, we stumbled across a radio station. Hot 106. Hip hop/rap music. Great stuff. Three 6 Mafia's "Stay Fly" was our most referenced song from that point on.

Day 3 of 5 (+): Lake Worth, FL

The Ninja shoot. We're out of the hotel by 7:45am and on the way to the site. I follow one guy, who is not the best driver, so far. He misses the turn here, makes a late turn there. Just hard to follow, but we get there and laugh about it in the end.

Today we are staging a secret ninja operation. This is packed with great bits, but also takes a while to shoot. We finish up our part around 3:00 and then Paul and Sarah come in to shoot.

Rich always stays on site, I take the car out to drive around FL. It's about 75 degrees. I head to the beach, but it is hard to find because the beach is lined with huge, expensive looking mansions. I finally find a park that gives me a little access to the water. It is warm! I'm in jeans so I stay out. I do grab some shells and just keep driving north. I decide to head back around the exact right time.

I get a text from Rich saying they'll be ready to leave in 30 minutes. I get back in time and we're OFF TO THE AIRPORT!

Everyone is tired. On the flight the four of us play a game Sarah told us...I don't think it has a name. One person says the name of an actor who has been in a movie...for instance, "Clint Eastwood". The next person says an actor who's first name starts the that actors first inital of their last name...so "E" from "Eastwood" might make someone say "Elvis Presley" which might make the next person say "Parker Posie". Which brings us to the other rule. If you say a name with the same first and last initials, the play reverses order. oooOOoooOOo!

We land in Huntsville, AL. This is the best hotel so far. We just got back from eating. I'm on the afternoon shoot tomorrow and those shoots will be the easier of the ones we're doing.

Day 2 of 5 (+): Columbus, GA

As I said, I get to wake up later than the rest of the group. It doesn't do me too much good. I sleep like crap and set my alarm for 9:00 so I can get the free breakfast.

After I get ready, I head down and grab the buffet. It is a typical hotel buffet +. There is a selection of cereals, breads, donuts, bacon and sausage and potatoes and eggs. All of the last four items are typical hotel versions...cold and/or fake-ish. I just get some eggs and bacon and a couple boxes of cereal. I eat, head back to my room, check out, and wait for the morning crew to arrive. They show up and Rich and I head back to the site. Our lines work perfectly. We get to improv a few things here and there. Fun stuff. The staff at the location are friendly and cracking jokes.

I notice that I haven't seen a single bird while I've been here. Not a single one. Think about it. When you go outside, it isn't long until you at least see a pigeon or a seagull (in the city) or maybe something else. Here...nothing...not until later, but I really had to keep a sharp eye out.

We finish shooting around 4:30 and head immediately for the airport. Off to Lake Worth, FL!

Lake Worth, FL: The hotel we are staying at is in the midst of renovations. They got hit hard by the hurricane season, I guess. The sound guy gets issued a room that is occupied. This is the second time this happens. Us four actors hop in the car and head out to eat dinner. We find a place called Long Horns and decide to eat there. Paul and I went to use the restroom and wash our hands. While we're washing our hands we watch someone leave the stall and go right out the door. An employee. We both pop our heads out and watch as this someone goes straight back in the kitchen. Gross. Thank you, Boynton Beach, FL Long Horns, for pooing our food.

We head to the hotel and I find out that Rich and I are on the morning shift. The good news...we're dressing up like Ninjas!

Day 1 of 5 (+): Columbus, GA

I got a sweet gig (thank you, sweet gig-givers) and I'm flying all around for 5 days. Yes...all around.

Day 1: Monday

The four of us who got hired met up in Chicago at the place from whence we were hired. I don't like throwing out names of places/companies. I don't know why.

We hung out, went over scripts, high-fived a toddler that came through, and did bits.

A limo came to take us to the airport. Not O'Hare...not Midway...some other, smaller one I don't know the name of. We got in the car and it was bit central. The cycle of bits went something like this: Bit starts; we all riff; Paul relates it to a Simpson's reference; Sarah relates it to dwarves replacing people; Rance kills the bit; Rich comments on Rance killing the bit; everyone/anyone comments on how we're going to use all our bits for the trip in the car; pause; repeat.

As we're driving, we find out that our flight is going to leave an hour later than planned. This was PERFECT because it gave us all time to go get food.

We were flown out on a corporate jet...8 seater. Pretty cool. I have some pics of the outside of it, I'll have to get some of the inside next time we're in the plane.

On the plane there are four seats that face each other, one that faces forward by the exit, and a sideways facing bench next to that seat. Somehow it ended up that the client, sound guy, camera man, and myself were in the four seats, and Rich, Paul, and Sarah were in the three front seats. So...I read. I was reading "My Friend Leonard" by James Frey*.

The plane lands and I am deemed "driver of car two". I go get the car and grab everyone and head to the airport. No...hotel. Yes...hotel. We get there about 11:30 at night, get our rooms, and kind of hang out in the "workout room" (2 working cardio machines, 2 broken ones, three sets of light weight dumbbells). Go to bed.

Lucky for me, my shoot is scheduled for the afternoon. Rich and I are paired up, Sarah and Paul are paired up. Before going to sleep I go over the script a few times and then luck out...Superman I on tv! Just starting! No commercials! I watch until superman saves a cat from a tree and then replaces the destroyed engine on Air Force One with himself. I would watch my DVD of Superman at home, but I don't have it at home, do I TODD!

*James Frey wrote "A Million Little Pieces" ("A" may not actually be in the title) and followed that up with "My Friend Leonard". They are both great reads. Unfortunately, the first book is doing quite well because it was in Oprah's Book Club, and then it got attacked for not being true. It's true, but people are saying some stuff was embellished. It is a BOOK, PEOPLE! Read it and move on. It's not like it is a law that just got passed saying "Everyone only has to pay $5 in taxes each year" and then we find out it was an embellishment because we actually have to pay more. THAT is something to get up in arms about. Not a book. It is only a matter of time until someone tries to sue him. We, people, are idiots. Cool it, us.

The Portland Chronic- what? -les

Portland, Oregon. I've spent many countless moments in Chicago telling people that it doesn't rain as much as people think it does in Portland. I was just there for 6 days...and it rained everyday. EVERY day. Friday- I arrived around 2:00pm and set out to get the hotel and meet Michele at the photo studio I was borrowing. Got in no problem, set everything up that I needed to and went on my way. Deanna and I ate at Swagat Indian Cuisine before playing a ComedySportz show in Portland. On that note, a big part of my trip back was eating at places I like eating at. It didn't get as big as I would have liked, but I checked some off the list...and Swagat was the first. Unfortunately, Srimanth, the owner, wasn't there. He's a great guy who will rip you a new one when you first start working there, and will still try after you've worked there awhile. I got pretty good at reversing his burn attempts in my four years working there.

After we ate (and we ordered too much) we headed over to CSz and got ready for the show. It was good to be back, and weird to be back. In the show, everyone was kicking ass. It made me think of something Zach Thompson said: "The difference between half-ass and kick-ass...think about it." I've been thinking about a lot of shows I've been doing in Chicago, and the state of Chicago improv today and that rings true. I think a lot of it has become half-assed and I'm done doing that. I'm going to kick ass from now on.

We finish out the show and head over to the common aftershow hang out, McMennamin's. It has changed from a grill pub to a larger restaurant. My favorite thing to order...not on the menu. What I order, comes out wrong. A terrible experience, and I ban them.

Saturday- Today starts bright and early. I am shooting headshots today and I am shooting seven people. The most I've ever shot in a day. We get there around 8:15am to be able to let the stylist in and get set up. The nice thing is, I know everyone. So this is a great "see old friends" time while still being able to do work.

My dad wants to stop by and shows up at 10:00am. He loves my work and is very proud that I'm doing photography. He's always loved photography and has tried to get me to love it since I was a kid. I did love it...I just wasn't patient enough to shoot my film, develop my film, make prints, etc. With digital I get immediate results. Huzzah! So, he's proud. Also, while he's there, one of the ladies decides to get "slinky" in her pics. Whenever I shoot headshots, I reserve the last 10 shots for just going crazy...doing whatever they want to do. For this particular woman, it meant wearing only a man's button down shirt...some shots for her husband (who was in the room). I shoot those and then she goes to change back into her clothes. My dad looks at me and says "I gotta get into this business!"

If you've made it this far..."Hey Eric Lindberg."

The shoots continue. My dad leaves and Phil comes in to just watch what I do...and pick up lunch for Deanna, Joan Marie (the stylist) and myself. The last shoot ends around 4:30. We drop by the hotel quickly then it's off to CHRISTMAS AT APPLEBEE'S! Deanna's mom picked Applebee's for the destination and we all (our parents and we) met there. Apparently they have great soup. Gifts were exchanged. Talk was had. Then we were on our merry way. Hmmm...8:30pm. Time to go to sleep!

Sunday- got to sleep in and didn't need to be to the studio until 10:00. Shot three people and then had a couple couples come in. Jeremy and Carrie showed up and I shot them. They were very nervous in front of the camera, which I found hilarious. Then my mom and dad showed up. That was a fun shoot...plus my dad totally got me back for something I did when I was a kid.

Every easter or christmas my dad would set up the camera and tripod and we would all be dressed nicely awaiting a family picture. One easter, my sense of humor kicked in. Picture one: everyone is smiling, I have my eyes wide open in a blank stare. Picture two: everyone is smiling, my dad slightly less than the rest, I have my eyes wide open in a blank stare. Picture three: my dad has told me not to make a face...He is not smiling, my mom and sister are kind of smiling, I have my eyes wide open in a blank stare. Picture four: my dad has told me a little more harshly not to make a face...He looks angry, my mom looks upset, my sister is looking at me, I am smiling nicely. Cut to the last picture of my shoot on Sunday. Deanna is taking a picture of me and my parents. I'm kind of smiling, my mom is smiling, my dad's eyes are wide open in a blank stare. The ultimate callback.

After the shoot we headed to my parents house and played Fluxx...a card game that is fun, but that they didn't know how to play. I discovered Fluxx while I was in Maine over the Summer. I bought myself a deck and sent one to my parents. NOW they actually know how to play it. We head back and stop at The Spaghetti Factory for dinner...check another food place off the list. Sleep.

Monday- Today is a day I've been looking forward to and kind of dreading. We head out to the beach to visit my Grandpa. It was great to see him, but hard to see him as well. He just turned 90 on the 13th.

I have a hard time watching family get older...especially grandparents. My mom's parents had always been together, but my dad had step-parents. Because of this I hit the jackpot as a kid...SEVEN GRANDPARENTS! Unfortunately, they all started passing away, and it seemed like all around the same time. It makes me angry to think about it. I have one grandparent left and the thought of losing him makes me sad and angry because A) he's my last grandparent and B) that means my parents are next.

It's a nice visit, but sad. We come back to town for a romantic date of food court food and a Gay Cowboy movie. Ahhhhh, romance. I did get bourbon chicken at the Cajun Grill in the food court, check.

Brokeback Mountain was ok. It could have been 30 minutes shorter and still told the same story. I feel like it is way over-hyped. It's good...but since it's about gay cowboys dealing with their forbidden love people think it's great. It's no "Big Trouble in Little China", folks...get over it.

Monday is the day that Deanna realized her Tuesday flight doesn't leave at 11:00am...it leaves at 7:00am. YIKES! Good thing she checked.

Tuesday- 5:45am and I'm off to the airport to drop off Deanna. She needed to be back sooner than I did.

Major accomplishment: Carl's Jr. (similar to Hardee's, but not) Western Bacon Cheeseburger...HUGE check off the list. It's a burger with bacon, BBQ sauce and onion rings IN the burger. I also put my fries in the burger as well.

Today I worked on preparing all the CDs for the people who got headshots. Later that night I stopped by my old Tae Kwon Do Dojang and visited with Master Ha. I was glad to see him, and I showed up at probably the perfect time by chance. From there I went to the ComedySportz rehearsal to drop off CDs. It was a mandatory rehearsal for them, so I didn't want to intrude too much. I dropped off CDs and was on my way.

That night I hung out with Blaine (friend since 4th grade, and ex-co-worker) and Jeremy (friend and ex-co-worker). They still work at the same job I quit 3 years ago. We went out and told stories. They kept me filled in on work gossip, although I forgot to ask if that bitch, Ali, still works there. Way to make a positive impression, Ali.

Wednesday- I stayed one day too long. Not a whole lot to do. Around 1:00pm I went out to Tigard to my old High School to see my yearbook/photography teacher. I figured I would chat it up and show him my portfolio. I used to drop by and chat after I graduated. Bob Skrondal is a great teacher and very down to earth. Just a cool guy. Unfortunately, he wasn't there. They told me at the office that he works on 'B' days...which are Tuesdays and Thursdays. They said he retired, but came back to teach anyway...which really helped them out.

I don't know how screwed up schools are everywhere else, but they are very screwed up in Tigard. Let's start focusing on education, shall we? Portland has been voting against education funding because everytime the option is education or lower property tax. They always seem to be tied together. At this rate, EVERYONE will be as intelligent as our president. Yeah, I said it.

From my high school I head over to my parents. They are not there...it's Wednesday...duh, they're working. I go to the mall and slowly walk around. Come back to my parents...still not there. I walk to 7-11 for a soda. There used to be a trail through the neighbors yard that was a shortcut to 7-11. I decide not to look for it on the way there, but I DO look for it on the way back.

The trek takes me past my old grade school...which is non existant. There is a grade school there, but it isn't my old one. They completely tore down my school and built an entirely new one. It was bizarre to see. I found the trail. It didn't lead me through my neighbor's yard anymore, it went to another house. Close enough.

Still no parents. I watch TV until they get there and we go out for Mexican food. After that I head out to chill and pack and sleep for my morning flight.

Thursday- Fly home.

The whole trip I've been reading "A Million Little Pieces" and it's a good book. I know there is "controversy" as to what is true and what is not in the book, but I don't care. It's a good book. If you can accept the crap our government is dishing out, then this book will seem more than full of truth.

Heading Home

I head back to Portland on the 6th. I haven't been back in about a year and a half. It doesn't seem that long. It always seemed like a long time away while Deanna was still living there. Time flies.

Yesterday I woke up around 4:00am puking. STOMACH FLU! HURRAY!

I don't remember the last time I had a stomach flu, but it's been years. Yesterday I ate about 5 Saltine crackers, drank a lot of water and Sprite. Kept very little of it down. The whole thing died down by the end of the day. I basically was in bed all day when I wasn't in the bathroom.

Around 4:00am THIS morning I was hungry. I ate about 8 crackers and that tided me over enough to sleep. I had errands to run and did some across the street. I got light headed and came home with some food that I ate half of.

Now I'm pretty close to being back to normal. There has been an interesting improv development as well, but it is still in the process of being figured out...more on that later...maybe.

I'm looking forward to the little things about being home. Like getting a Western at Carl's Jr. Seeing old friends. Seeing the city. Taking pictures. Seeing family. Should be good times.

Deanna flies out tomorrow...I hope she doesn't catch my stomach flu last minute. Her flight is going to be terrible if she does. YIKES!

I made it...whew!

Eight hours of Santa. I think it went pretty well. I was in a major hotel being Santa for guests at their very fancy buffet. There were all kinds of people there. My favorites were the elderly...very happy people, they. I think I saw the owner of Doug's Hot Dogs and almost said something to him as Santa, but decided not to.

The kids were good. I'm glad I didn't have to do the sit in a chair and have kids forced on my lap thing, though. There was one table that had a high chair, but the kid wasn't there. The two adults that were warned me that she didn't like Santa at all. I said I would give 10 feet...they recommended 20. They were right. She started screaming as soon as I came in. This is when this Santa broke out his "unspoken restraining order" bit for the adults...I had to stay at least 20 feet away or there was trouble!

There were three red-headed kids. Two boys and a girl. They were walking around. I asked if they were walking to their table. One of the boys said "we were supposed to have a table, but something happened. My aunt is getting to the bottom of this." The other said, very matter-of-factly, "we don't celebrate Christmas...we celebrate Chaunaka (sp?)." And the girl said "we're triplettes." These kids I saw the most often and they were VERY inquisitive. Wanting to know all the secret workings of Santa. They didn't see Santa as mystical and wonderful...they saw him as a mystery to be solved. CSI: Jewish Triplettes.

My "Santa voice" is basically a friendly version of the Darrell Hammond (SNL) impersonation of Sean Connery. About five different adults said "Santa sounds like he has a little bit of an Irish brogue." One lady even found me after asking at the table to ask where I was from...I said the North Pole. She said, "No, what part of Ireland?" To which I replied, "it's just my Santa voice" in my real voice.

There were two private rooms amongst the other dining areas. One had a family with about 7-9 kids (cousins I'd guess). They were sort of dressed alike in groups. You know how some parents like to make sure their 2 and 4 year-olds have the same dresses on for xmas and stuff like that? It was like that...except that some of the kids were boys and in the 14-16 range. Don't get me wrong, they weren't wearing dresses. But they were wearing matching shirts under matching sleeveless sweaters. The matriarch of the group let me know that this was the 6th year they had come to this, and in the same room, and later they would be caroling. They asked me to come back to the room for a picture...I came back 3 times and no one budged for a picture...their loss! No GIGANTOR SANTA FOR THEM!!!

I didn't really hit much trouble until the very end. As I was making my last rounds I found a kid who replied to my "are you having a good Christmas?" with "I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE REAL SANTA!!!" I ignored him and moved on. I also found a 4-6 year old boy who responded with "NO!" I said, "Why aren't you having a good Christmas?" to him as he was walking right by me and he turned and said "I DON'T EVEN CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS!"

YEOWCH! Oh well...his loss.

About every 20 minutes or so I would take a 5-10 minute break to cool off, drink water, and/or use the restroom. Three times I took longer breaks to visit the employee cafeteria and eat. They had a nice salad bar and a good xmas meal going on back there. Just me and the employees...until around 2:00pm. When I went in there were also two cops back there having a meal and watching the game on TV. When I went back around 4:00pm...two other cops eating a free meal and watching the game. 6:15...when I finished...I kid you not: 14 cops all eating and talking and watching the game on TV. FOURTEEN! I wonder if being a cop is dangerous anymore?

Merry Christmas!

That's right. You can stuff your "happy Holidays" in a sack. Christmas wins!

Speaking of. Deanna and I are celebrating xmas today...xmas eve. Why? I'll be playing Santa from 10am-6pm on xmas day.

That's right kids, I said "playing". The real Santa will be tired from a night of delivering toys. Why people want to see Santa on xmas day, I don't know. But I'm not questioning it.

I'l also be coming back home for a small stay in January, so that should be great!

Snow...a lot of snow.

Holy crap! So here's my day today. It snowed a couple of days ago. Not a lot, but enough that there was still a light covering on non-roads.

So, today, I go to ComedySportz for a remote show call time of 11:45am. I'm driving. The show isn't until 2:00pm, but we need to do sound check. Everything goes fine. The show happens. During the show I glance through a crack in the curtains to see a lot of snow coming down outside. A lot. We get done with our show around 3:00 and go to get our stuff and head out. The people we did the show are telling us that the next thing on the docket for them is a cruise on a boat. We laugh. They weren't kidding. Did I mention it was snowing?

Tara was on the remote and she was hosting rehearsal for our sketch group at 4:00pm. It was about 3:40 when our car came back from vallet. And there was snow. The drive was slow going and we got to Tara's around 4:05. Still snowing.

I park right in front of Tara's building and go inside. I'm in a sketch group who's working name is sort of like Black Angus, but we haven't settled on an actual name yet. The cool thing is none of us have day jobs, so we can rehearse during the day. Nights get filled up quick with rehearsal schedules and shows, so it is nice to have the daytime freedom. I'm there until 6:00pm. I come outside to the car...it is snowing. There is about 2 inches on the car.

I drive home with my awesome driving skills in time to eat a sandwich before a photo shoot at 7:00pm. Deanna left for a ComedySportz show right as my stylist, Monique, called me. Deanna said "is that Joe saying ComedySportz is cancelled?" No. It wasn't. She walks to ComedySportz. Monique shows up. About 10 minutes later Beau, the person I was shooting, knocks on the backdoor. I thought it might have been Deanna and that she forgot her keys. I don't know how he got to the backdoor, but he did. You have to walk through a spooky alley to find the backdoor.

About 30 minutes after he got there, Deanna actually DID come home. They cancelled the show right as she got there.

At 10:00pm I went outside (still snowing) with a ruler. 10.5 inches. Snow, ladies and gentlemen.

Tomorrow morning I will be standing on a street corner handing out fliers for 2 hours...this should be interesting.

Fall is HERE!..Farewell, Fall!

Sometimes people joke that fall and spring last a month in chicago...and that winter and summer last 5 months. Well, today it is snowing.

Not heavy downfall, mass accumulation snow. But it is out there, falling from the sky. It is similar to the snow I saw the first time I came out here in April 2002...that's right, April. The snow would constantly be falling, but it would never accumulate on the ground at all. It would just disappear. It was the coolest snow I had seen. And it is back.

Some of you may remember my trip to San Francisco last year. I bought a $20 faux flight jacket kind of thing at a Walgreens. It has a velcro patch that says "cargozone" ('cargo zone' for all of you who want to try and force it to become an Italian word). And by velcro, I mean you can tear the patch off and replace it with another (I haven't found any other velcro patches yet).

This jacket is by far the best purchase I have made. It was cheap. It is light weight. It is warm.

Speaking of cheap. Marshall Field's had their 13 hour sale on Saturday, and I was there with some other people handing out fliers for the event. Rich Prouty, Sam Super and I went to take advantage of the coupons for 20% of one clearance item. Rich has an excellent bargain sense. I've hit up two of these Field's sales with him now and both times I have gotten excellent deals, and he comes away with nothing. Last time I got a cool show shirt for $20. This time Rich found a shirt and said "11 bucks! Aww, it's too big." Not for me it wasn't...and not for Sam. I got two shirts, Sam got one, Rich...none. I've been banned from bargain shopping with Rich.

Birthday Jamboree!

Yesterday was my birthday and it was good times!

Deanna and I went to breakfast at Uncommon Ground. Normally I get some sort of egg, meat, potato or pancake combo. Uncommon Ground thinks that is for suckers. I got eggs, pancakes and sausage, but they were all separate dishes. Luckily our server was an improvisor...we'll call him Jason. He said he could pull some strings or something along those lines. We got some sort of discount.

Deanna got me 3 DVDs I wanted and a shirt and sweater that were pretty cool. One of the DVDs (Harry Potter 3) was fullscreen mode instead of widescreen. We went back to exchange it and saw the same sweaters in different colors. Deanna got me another sweater, tshirt, and a sport coat. Nice!

For the rest of the day we hung out. I watched some of xmen 2 and then we both watched Batman Begins. The day goes on. Nice and relaxed.

We had initially decided to try to have a dinner. Deanna sent out the invite to some people I hold dear, but hardly anyone responded or they were busy. So we just mellowed out all day...until 9:55pm.

Our door buzzer makes it usual sound (like someone stepping on a baby bird). I go answer and it's Tara...with balloons, two 2-liters of soda and party hats. Suspicious.

I had thought, earlier in the day, that she might be throwing a surprise deal of some sort, but I didn't want to be the guy who expects a party all day and nothing happens. So I put that thought aside. As soon as Tara showed up, everything started making sense:
- Deanna was tidying up the apartment more than we normally do
- When we were exchanging the DVD I was looking at video games and she said "maybe you should get a party game"

I wouldn't necessarily say "I KNEW IT!", but I had minor suspicions that I let go. We already have a party game (Donkey Konga) so it would have made sense to get one...and it is nice to have a clean apartment. They didn't 100% lead to "there will be a party".

After Tara came Sam, Stacey, Robyn, and Rich. We hung out, I showed them the wonders of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. We played celebrity...and then...as usual, I bust out Donkey Konga.

Donkey Konga is a bongo game...that's all I'm going to say about it. It is fun and hilarious to watch people play.




My Favorite shots by Deanna:

Why Martin is Stupid:

-he wears glasses
-he smells
-the hair on top of his head is the same length as the hair on his face
-he makes people update their blogs