I made it...whew!

Eight hours of Santa. I think it went pretty well. I was in a major hotel being Santa for guests at their very fancy buffet. There were all kinds of people there. My favorites were the elderly...very happy people, they. I think I saw the owner of Doug's Hot Dogs and almost said something to him as Santa, but decided not to.

The kids were good. I'm glad I didn't have to do the sit in a chair and have kids forced on my lap thing, though. There was one table that had a high chair, but the kid wasn't there. The two adults that were warned me that she didn't like Santa at all. I said I would give 10 feet...they recommended 20. They were right. She started screaming as soon as I came in. This is when this Santa broke out his "unspoken restraining order" bit for the adults...I had to stay at least 20 feet away or there was trouble!

There were three red-headed kids. Two boys and a girl. They were walking around. I asked if they were walking to their table. One of the boys said "we were supposed to have a table, but something happened. My aunt is getting to the bottom of this." The other said, very matter-of-factly, "we don't celebrate Christmas...we celebrate Chaunaka (sp?)." And the girl said "we're triplettes." These kids I saw the most often and they were VERY inquisitive. Wanting to know all the secret workings of Santa. They didn't see Santa as mystical and wonderful...they saw him as a mystery to be solved. CSI: Jewish Triplettes.

My "Santa voice" is basically a friendly version of the Darrell Hammond (SNL) impersonation of Sean Connery. About five different adults said "Santa sounds like he has a little bit of an Irish brogue." One lady even found me after asking at the table to ask where I was from...I said the North Pole. She said, "No, what part of Ireland?" To which I replied, "it's just my Santa voice" in my real voice.

There were two private rooms amongst the other dining areas. One had a family with about 7-9 kids (cousins I'd guess). They were sort of dressed alike in groups. You know how some parents like to make sure their 2 and 4 year-olds have the same dresses on for xmas and stuff like that? It was like that...except that some of the kids were boys and in the 14-16 range. Don't get me wrong, they weren't wearing dresses. But they were wearing matching shirts under matching sleeveless sweaters. The matriarch of the group let me know that this was the 6th year they had come to this, and in the same room, and later they would be caroling. They asked me to come back to the room for a picture...I came back 3 times and no one budged for a picture...their loss! No GIGANTOR SANTA FOR THEM!!!

I didn't really hit much trouble until the very end. As I was making my last rounds I found a kid who replied to my "are you having a good Christmas?" with "I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE REAL SANTA!!!" I ignored him and moved on. I also found a 4-6 year old boy who responded with "NO!" I said, "Why aren't you having a good Christmas?" to him as he was walking right by me and he turned and said "I DON'T EVEN CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS!"

YEOWCH! Oh well...his loss.

About every 20 minutes or so I would take a 5-10 minute break to cool off, drink water, and/or use the restroom. Three times I took longer breaks to visit the employee cafeteria and eat. They had a nice salad bar and a good xmas meal going on back there. Just me and the employees...until around 2:00pm. When I went in there were also two cops back there having a meal and watching the game on TV. When I went back around 4:00pm...two other cops eating a free meal and watching the game. 6:15...when I finished...I kid you not: 14 cops all eating and talking and watching the game on TV. FOURTEEN! I wonder if being a cop is dangerous anymore?