KAYAKING!!! (will be postponed)

Last night we had the idea that we would go Kayaking. This idea based only on knowing that there was kayaking on the island, and not knowing any of the details about times. Once the morning came we found out we wouldn't have time to do it before our 5:00pm call time. So, Deanna, Katie and I went on a hike.
The name of the trail we were heading for is BEEHIVE. There is a hard climb on the island called Precipice. Beehive is supposedly a mini version of it. The beginning was easy. A rocky trail, but at a slight slope. But dangerous! A butterfly attacked Deanna's ankle! Feasting on her hiking flesh!


As we got further along it got steeper. To the point of rungs being added to the trail for safety. It was at one of these sets of rungs that Deanna and I discovered the edge of the earth square.


We kept climbing. I helped Katie out of some hard spots by capturing her image so as to remember her better if she should fall.


Once we got to a less scary part of the climb we took a breather and drank some water from bottles.





Then is was back to climbing. It still didn't feel like that big of a climb. I'm ready for Precipice. Remember the picture below, it will be used as a reference to a picture even further below.


Deanna got scared. You'll see to the right a metal grate. This is all that was between life and death!...and the top of BEEHIVE!


The view from all of the sides of BEEHIVE was better than from the actual top, thus, no picture of the top. We hiked down to a pond called the bowl from BEEHIVE.


And made our way back to the car. It was on this walk that we passed an excellent view of the hive we just climbed. It looks a lot scarier from the bottom, but there it is. See that mostly bare part at the top?


And see these people on that part? That's where we were in that picture I told you to remember earlier.


As we finished walking to the car, a dragonfly hitched a ride in Katie's armpit...just for a little bit.


We then headed to Jordan Pond house. Famous for their popovers, more famous to me for their lemonade. The lemonade is homemade and they don't add sugar. Instead, they bring out a little cup of sugar water and you can add the amount you like. I always add it all.


From there we went to the top of Cadillac Mountain. The highest point on the island. Just for a quick glimpse.


Tomorrow we attempt kayaking for real. We have a battle plan and should be going 3-6:30.

FOUR! (Emphasis on the "R")

Yesterday was my mom's birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!)...please feel free to leave her birthday wishes in the comments section.

To celebrate, we all went to Pirate's Cove to play some mini golf.

It was a grand affair. This is easily the best mini golf place ever (that we pass on the the trip from the house to the island)! We traded in our land names for pirate names. Deanna became Clamilla. Katie became Eye Patch. Rex became Peg (pronounced pedge...soft 'g'). I became Sabre Pete. Deanna put out the challenge that the loser had to buy treats for everyone...or the winner had to...then it was decided that the winner AND loser had to. I agreed because Katie was talkin' smack saying she would win so I figured I wouldn't win, and I knew I wouldn't lose.

Last year when we came to the Pirate's Cove we only had time for 18 holes. Well...not this time. We had time for all 36. On hole 6 of the first 18 all of us got a hole in one!!! (except Peg)

After all was said and done, I was the winner and Deanna was the furthest away from winning. As we headed into town for our 5:00pm call and stopped for food, I picked up candy as my treat. Someone had brought up "What's your favorite candy?" at some point, so I knew. Deanna's treats were a little more touristy. I can't remember what she got for Katie, but she got me a lobster claw harmonica...well, you can blow on it and it makes sounds that are almost musical notes. She got Rex a lobster paddle ball and told him it would probably only last for 5 minutes...it lasted for about 3.

The season is in the middle of a swtichover right now. The people with kids aren't vacationing because school has started. The adults will start vacationing soon to see the changing of the leaves colors. Locals refer to these adults as "The Newly-wed or Nearly-dead." So crowds are a little light. We were supposed to have a 6:00 and 8:00 show last night but didn't have enough people at the 6:00. The people who DID show came back for the 8:00. Since we had time to kill I made Katie and Rex go down to the water for photos.

In Chicago improv land, Second City announced they're doing auditions in October. Luckily we're going to be back by then.

Stupidity Fading

I'm slowly getting closer to running at full capacity photo-wise. If you're one of those people I don't know about who reads this or checks my photo blog site, recheck over the next few days. I'll be adding photos to posts and they'll be chronologically correct.

Today I took my day off from theater. I've done three days of shows and I'm taking a day off already. It is more because I had to get things done.

I've been on a quest to find a cord that goes from my external harddrive to my laptop. I brought the firewire cord and thought I needed a firewire to USB cord. None of the places around here had it...because it doesn't exist. I actually needed a USB-a to USB-b cord and picked that up at RadioShack today.

At 1:00pm we all left to go into town. Tim Chidester and Rachael Mason among others were in town. They're doing Second City shows on a cruise ship that just stopped into Bar Harbor briefly. We at lunch at the thirsty whale. It was good to see Tim, and he seemed thrilled to see us. He's been on the boat since May and will be ending soon.

As lunch ended I caught a shuttle back to town so everyone else would have the car.

Back at the computer with my harddrive connected I decided to download images off of my compact flash cards. I brought two card readers so I thought I was safe...wrong. Neither of them were working...back to RadioShack. I paid $40 for a card reader and only hoped it would work. Thankfully it did. Now I'm on the last step...get the software to read RAW files.

I have it at home. I'm not home.

Once I get the files up though...check back chronologically.

Pics from my small camera are up because they're jpgs and on a smaller flash card.

BREAKERS!!!

This morning Rex, Katie, Deanna and I got up early and went Whale Watching. This is something that Deanna and I didn't do last year. She said she had gone before, and I was impartial. Why? Well, one of the games we did almost every night was "The Dream."

The Dream consists of interviewing an audience member about their day and then acting out their dream as affected by the things that happened during the day. Just about everyone who said they went whale watching also said they saw people puking.



We're in prime season for getting into things for free out here. Island workers get discounts everywhere. We got to go for free because they had plenty of space available. As we headed down to the boat a guy with a camera asked us to stop by a life preserver and pose. I only wish I bought our picture, or at least took pictures of some of the other pictures. There were a few pictures of older couples walking by the life preserver as if the photographer didn't care or the people were rushing to get on board.



Once we got on, we scored seats in the very front. It was easy to keep an eye on the horizon (a major key in NOT puking). At one point Deanna went in to use the restroom and said there were two little girls puking in there, and a guy who looked grey waiting to use the restroom. We all lucked out.



As we headed out we barely saw three finback whales, and then we crossed paths with "Breakers" the humpback whale. The underside of a whale's tale is like a finger print and "Breakers" tale print looks like breaking waves.



Over all, it was good. I think I got some good photos with my big camera, but I'm still in the process of getting that sorted out.

Mainely Maine

Well, I forgot a couple key elements for taking pictures. I use an external harddrive to store everything on...I forgot the correct cord for that. I also shoot in RAW and forgot to put the Canon software on the laptop. I'm working on correcting both of these problems.

The first night we got here was pretty fun. Rich & Rebecca Sohn, and Jake Schneider were performing in their last two shows. Right before the 10:00pm show a bat got into the theater. Katie and Rich grabbed boxes, I grabbed a blanket, and we tried to catch it. Jen was holding the door open and in an attempt by Rich to catch it with the box the bat dodge at the perfect angle to make it outside.

On Sunday Deanna and I had our first show back. We're performing with Katie Hammond and Rex Graff...as well as Jen who owns the theater, but she was sick, so we were on our own. Jen was with us last night.

It's a little weird getting used to being out here. It is somewhere inbetween iO and CSz.

Yesterday I went for a run. 15 minutes. I'm trying to build up to at least 45. And then four of us went for a hike up Parkman Mt. It was a good hike, but I think I'll hold off on the hikes on days that I run.

Cross Marketing and Arrival

We made it! First off, I want to say there are pictures available on my photo blog that match the posts below. You can find a link to the photoblog off to the right there...see?

Second, we made it! We're in Maine in the house as I speak...type. We said we'd arrive at 5:00 and we got here about 4:50pm or so. Everyone was already gone for the theater. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

After spending our second night in Peabody, MA, we headed out a grueling 3 miles to Salem to see the witch stuff. I used the handy Microsoft Streets & Trips to find the only remaining Witch House (house from the 1692 era), a witch dungeon, and something else that we didn't go to. We got to the Witch House first after passing a hilariously titled store i'll mention later. The house was fairly large, and very dark. It was $8 for a tour, or free for Deanna to ask what the best witch place was. They said the Witch Dungeon (on our list) was the most historically accurate, and the Witch Museum...which was more popular. I was indifferent and just wanted to learn stuff. Deanna picked the Witch Dungeon, complete with historically accurate theatrical representation. $6 got us into the show. They said the next show was at 11:00am...25 minutes out. We waited in the gift shop while the two ladies at the counter continued talking about what sweater they were going to buy for their dog who was apparently adorable.

The gift shop had tons of witch stuff. A bunch of tarot cards. A list of things that made you considered a witch...one of which was if you made someone go into fits. Another, if you had a bite (flea bite) it could have been that the devil bit you whilest consorting. Crazy stuff. Are we really that much smarter today? Barely, I say. The tell us we can go into the theater. By "us" I mean just Deanna and I were there. By "theater" I mean it looked like an old church (for effect) with a curtain. Out in the front lobby...I forgot to mention...8 or 10 headshots. Two of the headshots looked decent. So I'm thinking, 10 people? Maybe this will be decent. The entry way had huge posters with quotes like "Salem's best show!".

So we're in the theater. I'm reading these 17 plaques on the walls of the theater with info about the hunts. Then it begins...right as a family of four walks in. The stage has a fake judge, jury, and baliff from the time period. By fake I mean paper mache-ish manequins. A girl comes out to explain the setting. She was nervously rocking back and forth and was looking around the whole theater as if she was addressing more than just the 6 people in there. her explanation went on FOREVER before the fake trial began. An accused witch took the stand, and a girl we all saw walk from the employee door to the benches with us started accusing. This scene went on about 4 minutes and then the curtains closed, the two girls walked out from the middle of the curtains and bow. The 'hostess' came back in clapping, saying "Christina and Lisa everyone" and began explaining that we were about to go into the dungeon. It was a replica, but there was an original beam from one of the dungeons. I saw it when we first got there, touched it and said "Look, Deanna!" Then the guide mentioned that it was good luck for the women to touch the beam, and bad luck for guys. Oh well.

She then went on to explain more and more. The mother and the youngest son from the family of four left because the boy was scared. The father and the barely older son (maybe 9) stayed. During the talk as I was thinking "How long is this going to go on?" the boy summed up my thoughts nicely by giving a huge audible sigh.

That place was that good kind of terrible. And almost worth every penny.

We ate at a place with thick accents and hit the road. The GPS software had one route planned for us, but we had to go back the way we came to get a picture of the wrongest store name ever..."Bunghole Liquors". Pics on the photoblog for proof. 241 miles later, boom...we're here.

Almost there...

Day 3: We took off from Newark and struggled through the arduous (I can only assume that is the correct spelling) 40 trek to Philadelphia. We didn't have a lot of plans for what we wanted to see. Liberty Bell, Independence Hall...that's about it. We ended up also seeing Ben Franklin's grave. I think there were some other famous people buried there, but I won't remember until I see the pictures again.

I've always been fascinated with graves. Especially after taking an Anthropology/Archaeology class in College and learning about how grave art could be used to determine the age of the stone. I went to a lot of old graveyards in Maine last year...the one in Philadelphia was the oldest yet. There were a lot of markers that were unrecognizeable due to weather and wear.

We then went to eat at a place called "Benny's"...the sign had what looked like an older lesbian woman with a chef's hat...it was actually Ben Franklin in a chef's hat...thus, 'Benny's'.

We then left to make 340 miles to Boston...more specifically, Peabody. We were cruising along nicely until we got to New York. With just 7 miles to go on I-95 until we switched to another freeway, there was a delay crossing the George Washington Bridge...the sign said 1 hour. This is where I'd like to give another shout out to Microsoft Streets & Trips. A map program for our laptop that came with a GPS tracker. Using this software I found a short cut that trimmed about 5 miles and 50 minutes off the delay. I proclaimed myself "Hero of the Day."

We made it through the ritzy Connecticut SR-15 where all on ramps had stop signs. and there was even a strange looking tree...that was actually a cell signal tower painted brown with fake pine branches attached to disguise it.

Day 4: We made it to Peabody, MA last night and had an Italian meal next to the hotel. Today we headed into the city (Boston) and toured it up. We walked the 2.5 mile "Freedom Trail" (google it) and learned a lot. Saw more famous graves, and even older ones...including the ones of Samuel Adams, Mother Goose, Paul Revere (who never yelled "The British are coming!" but "The regulars are [something I forget]!" There was a guy walking down the street shouting at people...a little crazy. Things I remember him yelling: "Look at you and your beautiful families!" and "I bet you think I can't read your minds!"

The trail ended past Bunker Hill by the USS Constitution and we hopped on a trolley that took us to see a lot more.

We at the Green Dragon pub. One of the oldest pubs in Boston (since 1643 or something...the Bell in Hand is older). Then walked to Little Italy and saw my buddy Michael in an Improv Asylum show. He was great...as was Sara Maher (who I don't know well and probably butchered her name) who just moved here.

Right now we're watching "The Devil Wears Prada." I made fun of Deanna for ordering it in the room, but I'm getting distracted.

Tomorrow we go to a witch house, then to Maine!

On the road again

Deanna and I are on the road again. We left yesterday at 9:20am. Destination: Maine. Last time we pretty much busted butt and got to Maine in 3 days. This time we're making a trip of it.

Day 1: All we needed to do was make 500 miles towards Washington DC. We made 472, so it wasn't that bad. A lot of driving led us to a Days Inn somewhere in Pennsylvania. I thought the bed was very comfortable, but Deanna couldn't sleep on it at all...too soft for her. She tried sleeping on the floor and even in the tub, but nothing really worked.

Day 2: We were off aroun 9:00am and headed to DC. It was about 200 miles away. The driving all this far had been very smooth...even once we got to DC it wasn't that bad. We got there around 2:00pm. and lucked out in finding a 2 hour parking spot. The meter didn't work and had a number to call. Good news: I called before we left and got a confirmation number for the call...just incase we came back and got a ticket.

Deanna and I hopped on our bikes and rode around to the Lincoln Memorial, WWII Memorial, Washington Monument, Korean War Memorial, Vietnam Memorial...and rode all the way to the other end...Capital Hill. We made it back to the car before 4:00 because the spot was "No Parking" after 4:00. We found we had a ticket. Bad News: I put the confirmation number in my phone and for some reason it didn't save.

$25.

Ah well. Luckily we left DC to head north...and we left in the heat of rush hour.

We landed in Newark, DE. Tomorrow we're off to Philadelphia, ending in Boston where we'll stay all the next day.

Well...

I got Shanghai'd. I'm on a pirate ship being used as forced labor now...but they have WiFi.

I took the potion, but all it really did was taste bad. Not so bad that I couldn't drink a cup of it, but bad enough that I don't feel the need to drink or brew more of it. Oh well.

Who needs Chinese Potions when you have Snakes on a Plane! A bunch of us went to see this movie last night at a special pre-screening. I was apprehensive. I didn't care much. Last time a group of us got together to see a movie it was Redeye. Everyone was saying "this will be so fun!" and "we can do bits!". Well that movie sucked and everyone was silent...no bits. I walked out of Redeye about 15-20 minutes into it. It was terrible because they tried to play it too real for a semi-horror genre. I earned a reputation that day. No one could believe I walked out. I've sat through crappy movies before (read, Eyes Wide Shut) and wished I would have gotten up. So, in Redeye I did, and I felt great.

I was getting that vibe in the planning of the Snakes on a Plane event. I didn't even say I'd go. But Deanna said she was going and wanted to know why I wasn't going. I had ComedySportz last night as well, and the movie started at 10:00...CSz gets over around 9:30-9:45. Rich and I drove like we were in Tokyo Drift to get there. We only missed about 10 minutes and they had saved seats for us.

We made it. The difference between Redeye and Snakes on a Plane...the latter new it was cheesy and pushed that angle. There were so many stereotypical characters and scenarios...it was great. And that was before the snakes even came out.

I guess it helped that everyone there was psyched about the movie, and shouting out jokes was welcomed well.

See this movie.

Secret Potions!

Remember when I got acupuncture and they gave me stuff for a potion? I'm just now start....holy crap! A plane just flew by low and fast. I think they're practicing for the air and water show.

Anyhow. I'm just now making the potion. It takes about 2 hours. More on how it tastes when I get finished.

And the winner is...

Last night was the Chicago ComedySportz banquet. We have this once a year to basically hang out as an ensemble, eat a nice meal, dress fancy, watch bits, and have "Howie Awards".

The Howie awards are just a fun way to recognize people. There are many different categories. The ones I can remember are Best Ref, Best 5 Things Player, MVP, Best Sound, Best Music, Best Mime, Rookie of the Year, Best Captain, Most Supportive Player. There might be a couple I'm forgetting.

Some people hate awards...and that 'some people' is Katie Nahnsen. But she's not in CSz, so it's ok. I think these awards are great because CSz is a pretty tight family, and very supportive. Usually when someone wins, there are no hard feelings even if you were nominated for a category.

This year has been my big year of reffing. I just started reffing shortly before the last banquet. I've really been comfortable reffing and throwing out bits to the captains and driving the energy of the audience when they need it. Well, I was awarded for that. Best Referee. Thanks to everyone who voted...I am honored.

I also won the award for Best 5 Things. If you don't know what 5 Things is, come see a CSz show like Sammy Tamimi recently did. It's a game I love. It's a game we play in every show. I just play it hard, fast, and most of all...fresh. It is mime and gibberish based where you give clues to a person who has no idea what the things are. Sometimes you get suggestions so many times that a shorthand version of miming happens. I try to keep it fresh and give new versions of clues to people.

The coolest thing about the trophy for Best 5 Things is that the engraver was doing a rush job and my award says "THINGS". I have a trophy for THINGS!

Thanks CSz. I love you guys.

Broken Summer

I was going to title this "Now is the Summer of our discontent" but I searched that title on the web to see if there was more to it that I could use...I found out a ton of people used that quote, and mostly for blogs.

Summer. This summer has been interesting to phrase it kindly. I can think of seven couples off-hand that have broken up since April. Now, that may seem like a small amount, but at least half of these were long term relationships. Some are for good. Some are for "we'll find out after we take a breather". It has also been the start of some relationships...relationships that make me go "huh?" or "really?" like Michael Bluth would say in Arrested Development.

To the people in these new relationships I say, look at the person you're with. Really look at them. And look at the things they've done. I know you may be in an "I just broke up after a long relationship" situation. I know you may be in an "I haven't had anyone in so long" situation. But, really? I love you guys...and I don't get it. It makes me crazy that I don't get it, and crazier that you don't get it. But if you're happy, great. Happy now may mean more hurt soon thereafter. For all I know you may not be seeing that person anymore. It makes me want to fight.

To the people broken up. Stay strong. Do something by yourself until the summer is over. I had a bad break up once and ended up with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I can break boards like nobody's business. Don't look for someone. 'Cause when you don't, you'll find them.

Most importantly, to the people on the edge. Hang tight, brothers and sisters. This summer is testing everyone. I defy you to tell me I'm wrong. About a month ago when I was becoming aware of all the break ups, Deanna and I had a fight. It was about something not stupid, but it could have been handled in a non-fight manner. Luckily we realized this. It's this summer. It's a ball-buster.

Every now and then we can feel it pulling at us again. We figure if we can make it to September 22nd (Fall) we'll be safe...for a while at least. We're in our 6th year together, so the 7 year itch is coming up.

Hopefully we'll have stocked up on some sort of medicated relationship Tucks pad.

Pins and Needles!

Today I went in to be a lab rat...kinda. My friend Katie works at a school that is right across the street. They teach Chinese Medicine stuff there. I was to be an acupuncture patient. I didn't have anything to do, and it was free so I figured what the heck.

So, I was basically the best acupuncture patient in the world. I had the main dude and a lady in a labcoat there...then 6 ladies with nametag stickers (three had 'J' names, three did not). It was a "Students shadowing the teacher" situation.

I mostly talked about my knee problems (less than Todd talks about his) and how I can't sleep well at night. They asked a bunch of questions. Then I got up on the table and they wanted to take my pulse. Not for numbers...but to feel it. Pulse on the right side relates to something like the lungs and stomach, pulse on the left side relates to liver and heart. Details are vague. Apparently there are 28 different pulse types, but the variations in between are infinite. Everyone took turns taking my pulse. After the first rotation of people I said "you guys gotta try this! This pulse is awesome!"

Then they wanted to look at my tongue. This is where I cracked. Lying down, sticking out your tongue, and then having 8 people lean in all at once to look at it is a funny experience.

They then asked me to take off my shirt and left. When they came back, the main guy swabbed some key points: the "in" side of both ankles, near each big toe, on the shin muscle near the knee, two spots in a line between my belly button and sternum, each wrist. He then said "this may feel a little tooth achy...like a dull pain or heavy. One. Two. Three." As he stuck me in the ankle. I didn't feel a thing. The other ankle...nothing. Right big toe, barely anything at all. Left big toe, hmmm, that feels odd...I got the tingly-heavy feeling. "Good. That's what we like." Right shin muscle, "This one might feel a little tooth achy too." BAM! Yes...yes it did. It felt like my shin muscle was cramping up. I could feel it in my toes. Wrist, fine. Wrist, fine. Stomach, stomach. Fine, fine. My stomach off to the right side where no needle was felt odd, and there was no needle there. I told him. "See (to the class)? This was one of the areas we were going to do, but didn't, and that is where the feeling ended up manifesting!"

I lay there for awhile. He comes back to check up. "We'd like to make you an herbal concoction to help with your sleep and digestion problems, is that ok?" Sure. I'm expecting him to come in with a cup of tea for me to drink. He leaves, then comes back and takes the needles out.

"We just did a general session today. We didn't want to focus on the knee since it was your first time in. Chinese medicine is actually really great for dealing with knee problems. It's a simple joint. Thanks for coming in. You can wait up from and we'll get you your herbs."

I wait up front for my cup of tea. As I'm waiting, the guy goes to the office and asks for something. He gets a jar of some herb that apparently needs to be kept in the office away from the other herbs. My cup of tea ends up being 3 bags of herbs...enough for 3 cups a day for 6 days. I feel like an Asian version of Harry Potter.

RUN FORREST RUN

I'm not a runner. I never really have been. I have dreams where I run fast and free without ever needing to catch my breath...those dreams are the best.

I'm currently in the process of trying to build up my cardio. I've always wanted to be able to jog/run at least 5 miles. Yes, that is how much of a not-runner I am. I think the most I've ever jogged straight through for was 20 minutes. And that was when I was taking Tae Kwon Do pretty hardcore. I had to build up to that. 2 miles in 20 minutes. That is as far as I've gone. I know people who run 5 miles as a warmup or just "on their off days".

My plan is to jog every other day while I'm in Maine and get up to the point of being able to go for 30 minutes comfortably...and 60 minutes without dying. I'll figure out how far that is later.

I went today for 10 minutes. Thanks to my iPod I put two 5 minute songs right after a 3 minute song. I walked for the first song. Jogged for the second. Turned around at the third, and walked once that song ended. I say "thanks" because I searched my entire music library by 'time' to find songs of the right length. Normally when I jog I'm a vicious clock watcher and my spirit breaks. Today, the jog wasn't that bad.

I can remember my dad going for jogs starting in the summer, and ending in the summer. He was in the Army Reserves. They had summer camp and he would jog to get in shape for them. This is when I was a kid. I remember going with him once and stopping way before him.

To give you an idea of how I wasn't built for running...

In grade school during the Reagan administration we had to do these 6-lap runs (1.5 miles I believe) once a year. They never really prepped us for them, they just happened. Not once did I ever do all 6 laps. Always 5 (maybe 4 once). With all of those kids out there at the same time it was hard for the Gym teacher (Mr. G) to keep track. He'd ask us which lap we were on each time around. I was clever enough to know that after lap three, came five, and then six. It made sense because I was finishing up my fifth lap about the same time the entire world was done with their sixth.

I am built for speed walking though. In college we did a mile walk one day, and a mile jog the next. We could speed walk, the teacher made it clear we couldn't jog on the first day, but speed walking was fine. So I did. I walked the mile in 8 minutes 55 seconds. The teacher let two guys jog until they caught up to me.

The next class? I jogged the mile in 13 minutes.

Remember Blogs?

Have they become the discarded Cabbage Patch dolls for my friends? I think people might not think that other people read their blogs and stop writing. I know the ones I read have dwindled. I only know that my parents and Declan read this. Deanna doesn't even read it. But I keep going. So here's a message to the people that have blogs I check.

Tara - FINALLY she updated it. And, as a bonus, she checked my photo blog site and noticed the cand-blot pic. Keep at it. Your blog always = best.

Bill - You don't need to worry about anything. Not only is your blog pretty frequent, but it goes back over four years! I got to recently find the entry of when a young Rance joined your iO team.

RoNo - Well played. You update when there is something just important enough to write about. I like yours...even though Coke sucks.

Molly - MORE! I like hearing about the little details of your world. Something about the way you write it is great. I know you've gone on a Sonic adventure since the Revue Review.

Brian and Emily - you guys should be writing everyday...twice. Your stuff is hilarious, and you don't even really need to try to be funny. GET ON IT!

Zach - Zach updates well and responds to comments. Zach = good.

Tim - Buddy...we get it...you're leaving in May. Remember that? Brendan kept an awesome blog when he was on the boats. You'll be cut...CUT I SAY!

Rico - Remember how long ago May was when Tim left? Try April 20th. C'mon...there has to be SOMETHING going on you can comment on. You tell it like it is!

Eric - finally! I was wondering if you were going to ever come back...and you DID! And with FLYING COLORS! I totally agree with you about the evites, but you haven't responded to my awesome comment/quote. Let's hop to that!

TR PICS - keep rollin'. You're one of the few regular posters.

Deanna - 12/05?

So for anyone I didn't mention. I don't know about your blog or you've BEEN CUT!

Thanks for reading.

Culture...Diversity...and Cafeterias

"I can't see white or black people. I only see Americans." — Stephen Colbert

I've been curious about society's apparent "need" to have an underdog to pick on. Deanna and I have be watching a PBS DVD series about Chicago. Back in the 1800s it sucked to be Irish. No Irish allowed...no Irish need apply. All that stuff. Germans had it slightly better, because they weren't Irish. After the civil war, African-Americans went from VERY bad (slaves) to slightly better (viewed as 'slaves' by racists).

I mention all of this because there is a major separation in Chicago. Northside, where I live, is predominately white. Southside, where I was today, is predominately black. We went to a show for a church's summer camp...almost all African-American with one or two Hispanic children. It was great! A blast! After the show, Mary took us to what she said was the first cafeteria. The first!

This place was great...and the people we saw in the neighborhood were mostly African-American. When we were sitting down, an older gentleman came up and asked us where we were from. I said "Wrigleyville". He said, "Oh! I thought you were foreigners!"

Earlier in the year...and I may have posted about this...I was on a gig where I had 3 hours to kill, and I was on the southside. I ate at an Applebees and then went to a mall. I was the only white guy in the mall. I got looks from a few people...not mean looks or anything, just looks like "huh?"

We're all people. Sometimes we're just stupid about each other...LIKE THOSE FRENCH!...stupid French.

(I don't feel that way about the French...they just seem to be the ones that are ok to make fun of nowadays)

Alternate Blog

http://rancephoto.blogspot.com/

I've started a photoblog. Daily Photo. Pretty original name, eh?

I've started it to give me a place to post a photo every day. I'm sure there will be days I miss, but I'll do my best. See you there?

Arrested Development

Anyone seen this show? It is cancelled now, but it is hilarious and the characters are great.

I'm a big fan. This is only important because I made a strange realization that I don't know if anyone else has made.

Yesterday I watched "The Village" (Starring Joquin Phoenix and Bryce Dallas Howard (Ron Howard's daughter) among some other greats) for the first time. I had heard bad reviews when it first came out. Now that M. Knight S. has another movie coming out I decided to netflix The Village. I actually liked it a lot. Bryce Dallas Howard plays Ivy Walker. A blind girl. The girl who plays her sister looked really familiar to me. Then I got it...she played "Kitty", the secretary for the Bluths on Arrested Development.

Oddly enough...her name in The Village? Kitty. It's hard to say if they did that on purpose. "Kitty" works with Bryce Dallas Howard on The Village...Ron Howard is a producer for Arrested Development. Hmmmm.

Just nice to stumble onto what I hope is a little secret thing.

Milwaukee

This weekend we went to Milwaukee, WI. "We" being myself, Deanna, and Sam from CSz. Milwaukee Csz was having a regional tournament and we went to represent.

We left at 2:30pm to get Sam's girlfriend from her job downtown...we got to Milwaukee around 6:00. Almost 4 hours.

Other cities in attendance were Indianapolis, Quad Cities, Minneapolis, Houston, and Milwaukee.

It was fun to watch other teams play. There are a couple new games we got. A couple different ways to play games that work great. And a couple games that I can do without.

We played 3 games total, and we went 3-0! No losses!

On Friday night we stayed at the Hilton. We got a pretty good deal through Hotwire, and Sam go the same deal. Here is where I tangent a little.

Deanna and I have been watching this show on TV called "Little People, Big World" on TV. It's about the Roloff family from Oregon. The parents are both Little People. They have a young son, an older daughter, and their oldest kids are twin boys. Of those four kids, only one of the twin boys is a little person as well. This show is great. One, I get to see Oregon stuff on TV (I think they live in Sherwood). Two, it's great to learn about little people. The dad sells kits (Stools, clothes rack extensions, etc) to hotels that help accomodate little people. He also goes to Little people conferences around the nation.

Back to the story. As we were leaving the Hilton on Saturday to get lunch, we saw a little person. Normally if I see someone "different" I stare a little...more because I'm curious than scared or appauled. When she walked by I didn't get that feeling. It was great. THEN I saw another little person. What!? As we got in the elevator to go to the parking garage there were four little people coming out of it. I don't get giddy or starstruck around celebrities much. But I totally got that feeling as we got on the elevator and then headed to our car. THERE WAS A LITTLE PEOPLE'S CONFERENCE IN THE HOTEL!!(I assumed). I wondered if the Roloffs were there. It was a crazy feeling.

From there we went to eat at "The Safe House". If you're ever in Milwaukee, go eat here. It is fun. It is very spy themed. When you go to the restaurant you enter down through an alley. You then go into the "International Export Company" It's a small waiting area that looks kind of like an entrance to a export company. If you wait long enough someone will get on the speaker and ask you for the password. If you know it, they flip a switch and a bookcase opens up to let you in. If you don't, the voice on the speaker has you prepare for your assignment. The room is also displayed on monitors throughout the restaurant so you can see what the people are doing. We watched people: Act like monkeys; do ballet; do the hokey pokey. Once you go through the bookcase you go through a passage and when you step on a certain piece of floor, a panel of wall opens up to reveal the restaurant. The whole place applauds as you walk in if you had to do something to get in.

The Safe House is filled with Spy stuff. Some just being wall displays, but there are some other neat things: The bathroom plays a police scanner instead of music. In the women's bathroom there is a picture of Burt Reynolds in the buff with a metal heart covering his privates. If you try to move the heart you get hit by a burst of air and an alarm goes of in the restaurant letting everyone know what you've done. There's a room in the women's bathroom that let's you see through a mirror out into the restaurant. You can turn a light on in there to let people see you. They had an alibi phone booth that would let you play sound effects over the phone to disguise where you were. The pub on the corner called "the Newsroom" has a special booth that rotates into the Safe House. The neatest little thing we found was a secret exit. You can go through the main exit, or go into a phone booth. Put a quarter in the phone and a voice tells you to enter a code. When you do, the door you came in through locks and says "occupied" to the out side people. Meanwhile a wall slides open and lets you down into a passage that exits the building.

This place was great.

From there we went back to CSz. Did a 3:00 show. Then headed to the Polish Fest for an hour. Luckily we crossed paths with a man and woman who asked if we had our tickets. We said "no". They gave us four tickets. We got in for free! Wandered the grounds. Deanna and I danced one Polka...well we scurried around the floor with other people dancing around us.

Then headed back for the final of our shows.

It was a great time overall. We got on the freeway at 11:01 and made it home by 12:34am. Much better than the drive up.

Today...the Pride Parade is right out our doorstep.

Father's Day

Tomorrow is Father's Day...HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!!! (he's one of the few people who read this) (also, you'll be receiving a gift in the mail)

Today we portrayed father's for a client. While on break I noticed one of those mall photography places. On a whim I asked how much the sitting fee was. She said "There's no sitting fee. Also, I'm in training so if you get a picture you'll get a free 8x10". Sold!





Pictures compliments of the fine photographers at http://www.kiddiekandids.com/

Butterflies and Nature (words)

Today Deanna and I settled the remaining phone snafus. When I started up a plan for her, it was under the pretense that she would use her current BlackBerry phone. So I got a Razor phone to use as a second phone if I wanted. Well, she wanted an updated BlackBerry, so we returned the Razor and got the process started on switch her Oregon number over to the new account.

After that we headed home, hopped on our bikes, and rode down to the Nature Museum where they have a Butterfly Garden. A sealed in green house with a lot of butterflies and moths. It was great. See the post below for pics.

There were a lot of Butterflies, and a lot of dead ones as well. We also saw a bird of some sort chilling out in there...Deanna found it. It looks like the bird(s) might nibble at the butterflies as seen in some of the photos...there are a lot of wing tips missing from the bigger ones. They also have a bunch of cacoons on display outside the garden. They release newly hatch butterflies every Sunday at 2:00. Some of the Costa Rican species have glassy looking cacoons that were pretty cool.

After that we went outside to walk around and look at birds. Just as were we're getting ready to walk back down to the main level a red-winged black bird landed on the rail nearby.

I like birds and butterflies.

Butterflies and Nature (photos only)

The "F" is for "Finally!"

Part two.

I didn't wait the full hour to call back. When I called the computers were up.

I presented my case and said I would like my Cingular account closed, AND my AT&T account that it would revert to closed with no cancellation fee. Here was the CSR's clever retort, "Ok."

I wasn't expecting it to be that easy.

One thing I forgot to mention was that I wanted to keep the number to be "ported over" (tech talk) to whatever other service provider I picked. THIS is where she needed to get a manager. She reinstated my phone service with a note saying "Customer will return phone today, waive the cancellation fee". We'll see if that holds true. Just to be safe, before I called them I went online and cancelled my automatic payments. This way they can't just charge a cancellation fee to my bank, they have to bill me...and I can say no to that.

So, mission objective 3: T-Mobile BlackBerry deal. Good ole Rico Diablo is diabolical about finding great deals. One he stumble across involved the BlackBerry: 1000 anytime minutes with unlimited email and text messaged. Email and text is where I was getting extra charges with Cingular so I was in. I went to the store he told me to and Boooooo. They were out of the phone I wanted. So I started talking plans. He says he's never heard of the plan.

I call Rico and ask for the plan details. He confirms them. I tell him my dilema. Rico, the mastermind, says "go to [another nearby location] and see if they have the phone...actually, have the guy there call them to check."

That I did. They had plenty BlackBerry 7105's. Off I went.

I did some masterminding of my own and told the person helping me I left a pamphlet in my other pants that mentioned the deal. She said "Sure!" and hooked me up.

Not only did I get service for myself, I set up Deanna. We now have T-mobile. We now have phone service in our house! And I have one of those Lt. Uhura ear pieces!

PS...all of this traveling was on bike! Jim would be proud...well, he SHOULD be.

The "F" in Phone

I just got effed. I have Cingular...but not regular Cingular...the Cingular that AT&T turned into. I stuck with my old AT&T plan and Cingular just took over the billing. Well...over the last 3 months my signal has started to suck ass. Deanna called in and found out it is because they are taking down the old AT&T towers. I called as well and confirmed.

So, I researched phones and finally picked the one I wanted. I got a Pocket PC from Cingular. I'm still on AT&T contract until September so I figured if I went Cingular I wouldn't have to deal with any cancellation fee hassle.

So I got a phone, signed up, even had them check the service in my area and it said "High" but right near a patch of not so good.

Well. I got home and I have the same shitty service. So, I went back and said I wanted to cancel and return the phone. Joni (the lovely lady who helped me...no sarcasm, she really was great) said I would have to call in to make sure they don't charge me fees. If I return the phone it would revert back to my AT&T plan, but it would take 10 days to get that up and running. If I go to T-mobile (which I am going to) and keep my number, it automatically cancels my plan and I get charged fees.

So I go outside the store (where I DO get a signal) and call to cancel. After holding awhile I get through and ask first to cancel my automatic billing (incase they try to charge me a fee...easier to not pay a bill and keep talking to a manager than to just find out they autobilled it). She says "Our system is down right now but I can answer any general questions". To which I reply "All I have are specific questions." "You should try calling back in an hour."

Bah. So that's where I am. Waiting.

More BEEF

Like I said...Sun screen (it wouldn't let me post more photos). This is Emily teaching us about Dance Pilates. There was a lot of frisbee, sitting around, and sleeping at the beach. It was a nice day. Sunny, but not too warm. I mention sun screen because we all put it on, but a majority of us didn't do it well. My ankles and a small part of my foot got burnt. And I SWORE I would never burn my feet again after a terrible sun burn on my feet a couple years ago.

Ed got burnt, I'm sure some others did too. After hanging out awhile Deanna said she'd go back to the cabin and make sandwiches and bring them back to the beach. Monty went with. About 20 minutes after that, Ed and Susi said they were going to leave and I felt the beach trip diffusing so I said I'd go with them and hope to catch Deanna. We did...right as she was coming down the steps...with sandwiches. So everyone but Ed and Susi stayed a while longer.

Oh, most of the guys were playing frisbee in the water. This is funny for three reasons. 1) Ed had his car keys with alarm in his pocket and they got soaked (I assume they still worked). 2) Later in the afternoon Chris picked up Todd from a train station and met us at the beach. When Todd got in the water he had his phone on him. and 3) Playing frisbee in the water literally tore open the side of Jim's shorts. And then when he went back to play again, it tore open the other side.

That night we ate played games out in the front area like track ball and horse shoes. I don't play horse shoes much, but I played a little out here. I took a picture of one lucky round. I couldn't believe I threw a double ringer. You can call me Roger Miller if you drink tea.

That was the beef trip. Good times. Well done, Beef. Katie, Bill, Piero...you were missed...that's why we called you doing terrible bits.

BEEF CABIN!

I forgot to write about this. Last weekend Deanna and I went camping with my i.O. team, Johnny Roast Beef. And by camping I mean we rented a cabin that had a tv, dvd player, and hot tub. It was Emily's find, and thus was reffered to as her Country Home (said in country accent).

Here's Emily on the porch of her Country home.

I really don't care for camping at all. That was the original idea. "LET'S GO CAMPING!" Boo. I worked at camps for 5 years. I've been outdoors enough to know that it's okay as long as there is an "indoors" at the end of the day. Sleeping on the ground is for animals, suckers, and apparently Chris McAvoy.

We (Deanna, David Montgomery and I) drove up (down and over a little) on Friday. About a 2-3 hour drive from Chicago to the cabin in Michigan. We took off around 3:00pm just to get out of the city before traffic got extremely bad. Emily told us she wouldn't be at the cabin until 6 or 7, so we stopped at Bluechip Casino to kill some time. I lost $57 on a texas hold 'em style table game. Deanna lost $20 on slots. David won $5.25. $5.25 was the big winner.

After that we were on our way and the first to arrive (after Emily, Brian and Jim) at the cabin.

The whole trip was pretty fun. Friday night was a lot of sitting around and eatting. A few slogans or catches phrases were "whose up for the tub?"

"There's no parents here. We can grill whenever we want."

And "you sackin' out?" Which was said to anyone who was saying they were going to go to sleep. I don't have any pics of that.

Saturday, all 9 of us got up and Emily (with help from some other ladies) made a breakfast fit to feed an ARMY! (of 7 or 8)

We then all headed to the beach and put on our Sun Screen...more on that later.

Time out for love

I am surrounded by a lot of good people out here. #1 of course is Deanna. Hands down. She's been working her butt off on a project recently and she is kicking ass at it. She get's stressed out, but I still love her.

A long while ago a few of us from ComedySportz got together. Everyone seemed to be bummed out. I was bummed, Deanna was bummed. I knew of someone else who was, Deanna knew of someone...and those someone's knew of someone. I think there were about six of us initially. Well we got together to hang out and stop being bummed. We had a ridiculous photo shoot. I made CDs for everyone and labeled them "Fun City!"

We've met a few more times with varying people here and there, but Fun City has stuck. So much so that David, the marketing guy at CSz had an idea for something and called in Fun City to take care of it...he calls us Fun City.

So...it looks like Fun City is there to come to the rescue!

To everyone in Fun City...you're the best.

Of Singing and Cinging

For the past month or so...while I've been back in town and done with the teaching gigs, I've been part of an improv group called ACE. What do we do? Well, three of the last 6 Sundays we did an improv set. The other three we did a staged reading of "Guys and Dolls", with music. It was a blast. I was Benny Southstreet.

I had never seen Guys and Dolls before. We got a CD to listen to when we first met. As I listened to it I thought "This is going to suck". The music was okay, but there were a lot of boring songs. Luckily, as we got more familiar with our roles and what not, it started to be fun. Once we got it on stage, it was a blast! Last Sunday was our last Guys and Dolls show. We're taking July off and we'll be back in August with something...maybe Bye Bye Birdie...maybe not. We were talking about doing School House Rock, but it looks like that won't show up until I'm in Maine.

Totally unrelated, our (Deanna and I) phones have been getting really crappy service in our apartment for the past couple months. Deanna looked into it and found out it is because we were AT&T and that got transferred over to Cingular. We didn't necessarily get transferred to Cingular service, we still had our plans, and our phone still use the AT&T towers, it's just handled by Cingular. Well, Deanna found out that they are slowly taking down the AT&T towers. The only people using them are people who haven't "migrated" to new plans. Add to that that my phone is falling apart. TIME TO PHONE SHOP! Deanna will probably switch to T-mobile. I am still undecided. I would like to get a pocket PC so I can connect my GPS (see earlier post) to it on the road.

I also bought a 580EX flash for my camera. I understand my camera fully. I understand my headshot lights. I have never liked the look from a mounted flash. So, I'm taking an online course that looks great. If nothing else, it will help me like using a flash when needed.

Yeehaw!

In Dallas. Back to doing Yahoo stuff. This week is a little more relaxed, 1 training slot on two out of 3 days...so just two trainings total instead of 3 a day.

Today, after training, I went out with my camera to fins cows or horses. It actually wasn't long until I found an Equestrian Club. Took some fun pics that I can't put up until I get home.

Now if you'll excuse me, the Lost finale is starting.

Did we really like this stuff?

Right now I'm watching "Top Secret" on HBO Family. Maybe I've been doing improv so long that campy bits are lost on me now, but this movie is ridiculous, and I remember loving it when I was younger.

It's like a terrible pun every 2 minutes. It reminds me of Mel Brooks' any movie.

I never saw "Blazing Saddles" when I was younger, but everyone speaks of it's hilarity, and I did a VO that changed the words of a scene in that movie. I then bought the DVD of this hilarious gem. I then watched it.

It is a different era, friends. The humor in it is very punny/HA HEY! And a lot of it is racist.

Speaking of HA HEY! Val Kilmer in Top Secret was at a play and had to hide. He went into the "Prop Room"...once inside it was full of PROPELLERS!!! HA HEY!

Was it a simpler time? Are movies that are currently out as stupid, but in a different way?

Around the world...

...in one buffet!

This week I'm in lovely St. Louis. I drove to see the St. Louis Arch...done.

So...what else is there to do in St. Louis? Apparently smoke. Other than that I decided to go to Harrah's Casino. You'll be happy to know my fame and fortune automatically boosted me to the Gold level. So that was cool. You're required to get a points card before you go into the casino. Apparently it helps keep track of the people. There is a law that you can only gamble (lose) $500 every 2 hours.

When I got my gold card I also got a free ticket for the buffet...which was great because I hadn't eatten yet. I got there around 7pm and looked for my game....Let It Ride. I found something similar called something like Texas Hold'em Style. You ante in with $3-$50, you also have the option to play the bonus. The bonus is a $1-$25 bet and you win based on your first two cards. You are dealt 2 cards only, and if they are any pair, or some combo of Ace & Jack or higher, you win based on your bonus bet.

Once you see your two cards you then either bet double your ante ($6-$100) to see the flop of three cards that everyone gets to use, or you fold. The dealer will then deal a fourth card and a fifth. You get a chance to match your ante before each of those cards are drawn. Then it is your hand vs the dealer's hand. My very first hand I bet $3, and then $1 on the bonus. I was dealt two Aces, which is great. The dealer ended up winning the had with three of a kind, but he gave me $30. I didn't get it. It was because I played the bonus! And getting Two Aces pays the highest bonus odds, 30-1. Well...this game I liked.

I played for 2 hours and ended up being close to even when I was ready to go to the buffet. On a whim I bet $5 on the bonus for my last hand. I was dealt an Ace King, which paid out 15-1...so I won $75 on that bonus even though I lost the hand.

Then I was off to the previously hinted buffet. I had food from the four corners of the world: Crab Rangoon, Pizza, Chicken-fried steak, and salad.

You know you're in a good casino when they have a cigarette vending machine, AND every restroom has a convient disposal for insulin syringes! FUN!

Back on the Road

Same company, different training. This time I'm in Detroit, MI.

I get the strange feeling you're asking yourself, "But Rance, what do you on the road?"

It is pretty simple and usually involves TV. I like to go out and explore if I have a day free, but I don't...and these trainings can be draining. So, my week usually includes watching shows I don't normally watch on TV...like Amazing Race, Wheel of Fortune, and last night...Myth Busters.

Since I'm doing 5 trainings a day, I get home around 6:00 and I'm tired of standing so I order food or get food and then TV! Kind of boring.

Hmm.

Today while waiting for my Honey BBQ Steak to go from Chili's I went across the street to Comp USA. While killing time there I found Microsoft Streets & Trips 2006 with GPS Locator. WITH GPS LOCATOR!!!

Add to that there was a $40 rebate and you have awesome.

I have a laptop that is now a GPS locator with voice driving directions. I just tried it out and it works. It will be extra handy for any future gigs, and for when Deanna and I drive to Maine this Summer.

Thank you, technology.

Farewell DSL / Rumor Has It...

I finished my last training job yesterday. I'll be back training on a different topic later on in the month, but this leg is done.

I was in Alhambra, CA near L.A. for most of the week, and then Sacramento on Friday.

Upon returning to the airport to fly home I noticed everyone looking out the window. Human nature kicked in and I followed them to see what was up. Right there on the runway was Air Force One...and just 5 days after I had seen it blown out of the air on 24 (season 4 disc 4...oh yeah...SPOILER).

It was far enough away that I couldn't see if the President was there. I know he was flying in to meet with the Governator.

I then flew to Denver, then to Chicago.

On the flight from Denver to Chicago there were a couple things.

1) one of the flight attendants HAD TO BE in witness protection. A stout, older guy...totally looked like he could have been ex-mob and now was a flight attendant. It was bizarre.

2) I saw the movie "Rumor Has It..." with Jennifer Aniston and Kevin Costner. Rumor Has It...that Jennifer Aniston can't act that well. She did ok, but anytime she was supposed to hysterically cry I found myself thinking "I could do better than that if I were playing the female role...I would be more believable." Another thing about this movie. The guy playing her fiancee (no idea what his name is)...this guy has popped up recently and pretty much plays the same roles all the time. I've seen him in two different movies on airplanes...both as the straight man love interest. I don't remember what the first movie was. He was also the straight man love interest in that movie where what's-her-name from Walk the Line is a ghost. I can't believe I can't think of her name...Legally Blonde...that girl. Anyway, I'm sure Eric or Rich will know the name of her, and the guy I'm talking about. So this guy. He seems to be in everything in this role, he's good at the role, but just not that interesting. He was also...uh boy....I'm blanking on names...he was in that movie with Tom Cruise (bad guy) and Jamie Foxx (cab driver). All I can think of is Minority Report...and it's not that. Anyway, the guy I'm talking about is a cop/detective that is trying to catch Tom. That's the only place I've seen him NOT as the love interest.

Man...I think I just found something hereditary that I got from my dad...inability to remember movie names and actor names. And if it IS hereditary, it will only get worse from here. My favorite movie name guess of my dad's: "Stench of a Woman" instead of "Scent of a Woman".

Back in Action

Well...I had a week off. Stayed home and took some headshots, AND had a fun easter celebration!!

That's right...bunnies and bees!

The day after easter I flew to my current location...Alhambra, CA. Things have been low key this time around. One of the bonuses of flying is that someone is always sick...always. I'm feeling it a little, but fighting it off.

My flight was potentially terrible, and then got better. I was standing behind a lady who was about 5'4". As we slowly made our way to our seats on this full flight, she went to an aisle seat in the emergency row...5'4"!!! If you're short and you sit in the emergency row, Karma will get you (PS. my new name is Karma).

I, and my long legs, had a window seat. My last two flight have blessed me with aisle seats (so I can pop my knee...those who know me, know)...but they were next to an old man with a newspaper. TWO FLIGHTS! DIFFERENT OLD MEN! Why do I mention the paper? Because it would drift over onto me, as well as old man elbows. At least I was in the aisle and could easily escape.

As I took my window seat I waited to see if my old man fate would reach me. Nope...a baby! A cute adorable baby..well...1-2 year old. She sat right there in the middle seat as her mom sat in the aisle and her huge, muscular dad put things in the overhead. I'm thinking "GREAT! This is the best! I won't be fighting for the arm rest or leg space with this little kid in the seat!" And then, her huge dad sits in the middle seat. Ugh.

I had been Pepsi-ing up and used the bathroom. When I came back he offered to have me sit in the aisle and everything was good and well. Whew! That was a close one!

I got to see the Chronicles of Narnia finally. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe is an animated film that I remember very well from my childhood. I almost started crying when Aslan made his "agreement" just because that little kid part of me remembered what happen and I felt like a little kid again. It wasn't that bad when they finally got back to it. Glad to finally see it.

I've been meaning to get out to IO West while I'm here, but being slightly sick has made me do nothing more than watch TV and go find food. I got 10 hours of sleep last night...which is VERY odd for me considering I woke up at 7:00am.

In other news. I got an interesting message on my MySpace page. It was from someone named simply, Kim. Turns out Kim is the Kim who is the sister of my old friend Aaron. I've been friends with Aaron since at least the 9th grade...maybe 8th...definitely not 7th. Aaron and Blaine were my friends from that era, and the only ones I really hung out with after High School. I ended up working with Blaine at the job I had before moving to Chicago (I was there for 5 years, he's still there) and still hung out with Aaron.

One day, and I don't really remember when, but I feel like it was before 1996...definitely before 1999. He just left. He didn't say anything to Blaine or I. He was just gone. We never heard from him. At my 10 year reuninon I bumped into some guys he hung out with that I also knew (I guess they were kind of friends) and they had seen him time to time, but he was always on the go, and usually burning bridges.

Well, Kim sends a message saying "how's it going" and gives me Aaron's phone number. He's living in Phoenix. I called him and got voicemail. It's weird to have a friend from childhood and later just disappear. So, it's good to know he's still alive.

Of Blasting and Stupidity

As promised...your's truly, destroying the evil Zorg.

Something that has been bugging me lately is the general stupidity of the population. In specific...ignorance...I think.

Here's what I'm talking about. I'm in at least two airports twice a week when I'm on these gigs. If the airport has a moving walkway, there is a voice saying "Caution, you are about to get on a moving walkway" at the beginning and "Caution, the moving walkway is ending" at the end.

Are we that dumb? C'mon people. Use your brains. You see a part of the floor is moving. If you pay attention, then you'll do just fine. But there are the idiots out there (case in point, grandmother on AFV who is standing backwards on the walkway and smiling at the camera, and then the walkway ends and she falls over) who don't. And quite possibly, these same idiot take it to court to be rewarded for their stupidity. I can only imagine that is the case or the airports and other businesses with other warnings would go to all the trouble to put obvious warnings on things.

If you can't tell that a toy that has small parts could be a choking hazzard for your one year old, you don't deserve to be a parent. You failed...failer.

This kind of ties into my trainings I've been doing. One of the first things they do is fill out a little form with some info for a fun activity. This week, hardly anyone brought a pen. I ask "do you have a pen?" and the reply is "nobody told me I would need a pen." Time to make some assumptions, America. I'm going to go somewhere to learn...I might need to write something.

So, there. Stupidity. Stupidity and indecisiveness drive me crazy. I may do some stupid things sometimes, but I'm decisive and informed when I do it.

The Happiest Place on Earth!

I'm still in Tustin, and 7-10 miles away from Disneyland. DL is open until 11pm...I get done with training at 4:30.

Today I braved traffic and went to Disneyland. A lot of changes since I went in 97-98...like California Adventures where a parking lot used to be. It took me a while to find the actual parking lot. Once I did the rest was easy. I'm all by myself here in Tustin and I was all by myself in Disneyland. I got there around 5:00 or so.

First place I went was Indian Jones!!! This ride is my favorite, and it still is. I was sending pics to Joey, Tara, Rich and Deanna as I went. This ride is even better when the wait is 15 minutes. This is the perfect time of year to go to Disneyland.

From there I was going to try a ride I hadn't been on before, but I saw Star Tours and the sign said the wait was 5 minutes. On either side of me was a parent with a small child. The dad to the left of me was trying to tell his kid:

Dad: "now, this is going to have a movie screen that will show a movie. It will seem like we're going into space, but we aren't really. The room will move too..."

The kid was fine the whole time, but the dad kept checking in through the whole thing.

From there I went to Astro Rangers? The Buzz Lightyear ride with lazer tag. This was fun. You get scores and a picture. I'll put the pic up here if I remember.

Next was space mountain. High speed roller coaster in the dark, fantastic. I was laughing hard by the end of it. So fun! WITH HARDLY ANY LINES!

Then it was time to ride the Matterhorn...for Prouty! I called Prouty and had him on the phone for the ride, so that was kind of fun and ridiculous.

Then I hit Small World. Creepy as ever. This is where it dawned on me that this place isn't as fun by yourself.

There was some parade. A typical one.

I ate a $9 crappy burger and went to Thunder Mt. Railroad...another great. From there it was back to Indy Jones and Buzz. The fireworks display was cancelled, and I was ready to leave.

It was fun...but I wish you were there.

Tustin Cologne, Tustin Fits

I'm in Tustin, CA this week...a.k.a. Santa Ana. It's weird being here after living in Chicago. I can drive for 10 miles in any direction here and go through at least three cities. Chicago is huge, these places are small.

While in the O'Hare Airport on Monday I saw...DITKA! He was on one of those carts that take people to their gates. I was heading to get food and didn't realize it fully until the cart had gone by, otherwise I would have hopped on and snapped a photo.

I'm very close to Disneyland here. I hope I make it out there sometime. The traffic is TERRIBLE when I get done doing training. It will probably take an hour to make the 10 mile drive. Add to that it was raining today. But I think I'll still go. They are open until 11:00pm, so I'll get in 5 hours. Figure I'll hit the new things that I haven't been on since I was there last (97-98ish).

SPEAKING OF CREEPY!...Kenny Rogers is on American Idol right now as the guest "star" who goes over songs with each singer. He...is...BOTOX'd! He and Barry Manilow are cree-py looking.

Hi-ho the derry-o. Spring is finally here.

Tomorrow morning I will be dressing up as a bumble bee. If you know me, you know I've also been: Willy Wonka, Prince Charming, a farmer, and a reindeer. Tomorrow...a bumble bee. I'll be hanging out with a Pixie and the Easter Bunny.

How else do I know Spring is here? ANTS!

I hate ants! HATE!

If you ever want me to destroy another human, cover them in ants. Ants trigger something in me that instantly says "destroy". Thank you, RAID. Although your "Kills on Contact" spray is lacking a little as I watch ants walk around after they're sprayed.

Also Deanna has killed 4 spiders this week. The bugs they are a-thawing.

Bakersfield!

What a time to be in Bakersfield! Here is what happened of note while I was out there:

Country-
As all of you know. Bakersfield is (was) home to Buck Owens...of "Hee-Haw" and country music fame. I drove on Buck Owens Blvd. He has this country music museum, restaurant, and I think a sizeable concert space out there. It's big time.

Well, he died last Friday night. In his sleep after performing. I happened to catch a little special on TV about him. He created this country music museum...had these bronze statues made of country greats like Johnny Cash, Garth Brooks, Merle Haggard (or something like that), and others (including himself). When the statues were unvealed the people who were portrayed in bronze (who were still alive) were there. And Garth Brooks PROPOSED TO TRISHA YEARWOOD RIGHT THEN AND THERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!! (I don't follow country music at all).

I found out from the Manager of the place I was doing my trainings that tomorrow (Saturday) is the funeral and they are supposedly closing the freeway that took me from my hotel to the airport. So I got out of there just in time. Farewell, Buck Owens. It seems just yesterday you were here. Once I finally made it to Bakersfield, plbbbt!, You were gone.

An Actual Country-
California is a state that is right above Mexico (the more you knooooowwwwww). Apparently there is some legislation coming up that has Mexican teens in an uproar. The legislation is supposed to crack down on illegal immigrants. There were two school walk out protests while I was here. All Jr. High-High school students waving Mexico's flag. Lots of news footage of teens talking about how Mexicans come over and do the jobs no one wants to do. The pressure is slowly building and there is another scheduled walk out for 4/10 (JOIN UP!). While I was driving from my last training to the airport I saw a white guy sitting on a wall with an american flag. Two Mexican youths were walking by and yelling at him. One of them spit on him and he just calmly picked up his phone. A couple white people popped up on the other side of the wall and yelled at the mexican teens. One of the teens threw a punch. Then the two teens made their way across the 6 lane road (not a freeway or highway...just a CA road). There were already a lot of Police driving around the area, and it wasn't long before the teens started running and two cop cars were heading there direction.

My take? Unless you're a Native American, you're pretty much an immigrant. Settle down everybody!

F this S-
I flew from Bakersfield to Phoenix, and now I am here in Phoenix. My flight was supposed to leave at 10:30pm and arrive in Chicago at 2:49am. My flight is delayed until 11:20.

I managed to get to California Pizza Kitchen right before they and every other food place closed for the night. I sat next to a table that had a mother and a son. The son was about 11 or 12. They were having a very cordial conversation that went a little something like this:

Mom: (all said in a pleasant voice)You're really just saying those thing to rebel. It really isn't nice to say S or D.

Son: I know. It just comes out sometimes....my teacher says D.

Mom: Really? When?

Son: Like "Oh I forgot to grade you D reports!"

Mom: Laughing Well...D isn't as bad as S or others, unless you are using it with his heavenly father's name...that is VERY bad. You should never do that.

Son: What do you mean?

Mom: GD.

Son: Oh. [some name] says [something I couldn't hear] but it's ok because of her beliefs.

Mom: She believes in God. But you're right. She can say what she wants. (long pause) Ben doesn't say GD does he?

Son: Sometimes.

Mom: (pause) Well he knows better than that.

It was a wonderful conversation filled with letters.


What will happen on my adventures next week? Stay tuned and find out!

Delicious Goodness

This week I'm in lovely Bakersfield, CA. Nothing too cool of note here as of yet...except for...CARL'S JR.!!!!

Not long before I moved to Chicago I discovered the Carl's Jr. Western Burger. This is a greasy burger with cheese, bacon, BBQ sauce, and onion rings INSIDE the bun! I also put fries in the bun as well.

In Oregon the fries were terrible. I would put them in the burger because that was the only way to tollerate them.

Here...the fries are great! It is delicious and gross at the same time. I can't stop going there.

Unexpected Hilarity

So, I'm sitting here in the Wichita, KS airport (ICT) watching season 4 of 24 on my laptop.

I am pretty done seeing everything there is in Wichita so I got to the airport super early. I'm on disc 2 of 6...I watched the first episode on the disc and started the second.

Every episode of 24 starts with "previously on 24" and then there is a recap. Since I just watched the prior episode I clicked on fast forward.

The difference between my laptop and my DVD player at home? The laptop plays sound as it fast forwards. It is...HILARIOUS! If you've ever seen those bunny shorts (I think it's actually bunnyshorts.com), it's like that. People delivering dramatic lines at break neck pace.

If you have a DVD player that plays FFWD with sound...try it out. It's great!

Wichita, KS

I've been in Wichita, KS since Monday. I leave tomorrow (Friday). There really isn't a lot to do here.

Luckily I have a rental car, and I caught a cold on the plane. So I mostly hang out in my hotel room or drive around looking for a new place to eat.

There is a freak winter storm (in spring) that is hitting a huge area. It snowed last night and will be cold tonight (for Wichita).

I finally got to eat at a Sonic. Molly is in tons of commercials for Sonic, and they play on cable everywhere. I've seen them in Chicago, I've seen them in Portland. But there are no "Sonic" restaurants in those areas. So, I ate there two nights ago. Pretty good.

Last night I decided to try out a place called Spangles. Fast food with the slogan "It Just Tastes Better." THAT'S A LIE! Their food was crap! DON'T EAT AT SPANGLERS! GROSS!

I've been doing these corporate trainings for a major communications company. They're pretty good. I'm doing two a day this week and 3 a day for three more weeks in other cities. Luckily there are some breaks for fun stuff, but I'm pretty into the product and don't mind upselling it.

I'd rather not be sick though.

Ahhhh, airline travel. Tomorrow I get my chance to pay it forward to some other non-ill passenger.

Wichita, KS

I've been in Wichita, KS since Monday. I leave tomorrow (Friday). There really isn't a lot to do here.

Luckily I have a rental car, and I caught a cold on the plane. So I mostly hang out in my hotel room or drive around looking for a new place to eat.

There is a freak winter storm (in spring) that is hitting a huge area. It snowed last night and will be cold tonight (for Wichita).

I finally got to eat at a Sonic. Molly is in tons of commercials for Sonic, and they play on cable everywhere. I've seen them in Chicago, I've seen them in Portland. But there are no "Sonic" restaurants in those areas. So, I ate there two nights ago. Pretty good.

Last night I decided to try out a place called Spangles. Fast food with the slogan "It Just Tastes Better." THAT'S A LIE! Their food was crap! DON'T EAT AT SPANGLERS! GROSS!

I've been doing these corporate trainings for a major communications company. They're pretty good. I'm doing two a day this week and 3 a day for three more weeks in other cities. Luckily there are some breaks for fun stuff, but I'm pretty into the product and don't mind upselling it.

I'd rather not be sick though.

Ahhhh, airline travel. Tomorrow I get my chance to pay it forward to some other non-ill passenger.

Ramping Up Again

Well...I'm sure I'll be posting more stuff soon that is boring to people in Chicago, but interesting to my family and maybe Declan.

I've got another gig coming up where I'll be out of town for 20 days in March and April. 20. Twenty. And only four cities this time...one in Kansas and three in California...I think.

On a different note. If you haven't seen an episode of "24", you should watch that show. I never seem to listen to hype about shows, and then by the time I realize "maybe this IS a good show" I'm so far behind that it makes no sense to start watching. That's where this awesome new trend in TV Shows being released on DVD comes in...mixed with a little "Netflix" goodness.

There are currently 5 seasons of 24. The currently airing season is 5. I'm up to date on that season and I just finished watching season three. This is good stuff. They kill off main characters...MAIN CHARACTERS! It is great. The only thing I haven't liked so far is that (AND THIS WILL BE A MINOR SEASON THREE SPOILER) Jack Bauer (the main character...Keifer Sutherland) is supposedly addicted to heroin because of undercover work. He is feeling the effects of it in the first episode, and it's a part of the first five or so, then that story line just sort of disappears. And the ending was a little predictable at times in three...but still good.

That being said, that is pretty much all that is wrong with it. I love to hate the character Shari Palmer. Great! She makes me so angry! Great actress in my book...I hope the actress isn't like her character in real life.

The only downfall to watching season five while catching up is that sometimes there are people who's lives are in jeopardy, but I know they'll be fine because I've seen them in season five. But not everyone survives. I don't recommend doing what I did for the first episode of season five alone...major stuff.

Go to netflix and start watching...all you need to do is watch 96 hours of the show until you get to watch the current 24 hours of this season. You've got time.

Oh! And we're going back to Maine...I think...in September/October this time.

PS. don't read the comments if you don't want to see Declan's 24 Season 5 spoilers

Power Weekend

I don't think I've really talked about improv in a while.

I had a power weekend this time around. Friday started off with a Johnny Roast Beef show at I.O. and something was amiss with the electrical system. It was the last show for the first group. Right after their opening the lights went out. Everything was dead in the control room. It ended up being that a breaker got triggered, but this team was left to do their last show in the dark...until they came on...and until someone went back to see what the problem was by turning on the computer and tripping the breaker again. That team got the lights blown three times. We followed their show and had zero light problems...go figure. We had a great show. Big time fun. Katie Nahnsen, ladies and gentlemen...keep that name in your brains. She's funny and will go places. Emily is funny too, but she's too comfortable in her day job to take the risk of low paying opportunities.

I went straight from their to reffing at CSz. The longest show I've reffed in a while. Just a weird coincidental show where not a single game we played was short.

Saturday meant two CSz shows...reffing, then sound. Yep...3 CSz shows and I didn't play in a single one. The show I reffed was phenomenal. I told everyone before the audience even started coming in that I smelled a good show. I was getting suggestions for 5 things and this kid, who had given me plenty of suggestions, gave me "Liquid Nitrogen." I took "mud" instead, but told him if Molly said "Liquid Nitrogen" I would give him a dollar. 5 things ends and I'm telling the audience what their half-time options are when Molly stands up and says "Ref Rance? I have an announcement...Liquid Nitrogen." During the second half I gave that kid a dollar.

Tonight (Sunday) was a partial surprise. Rich text messaged me to see what I was doing. I had shoots in the afternoon and an 11:00pm show at IO. He said "we're going to play in the set at SC". See, SC is Second City. They do an improv set after their shows and they let guests play sometimes. Tonight was my second time. The first time was with Deanna and I was nervous and boring. This time I was getting some good ones in there. It was fun and the cast is very, VERY nice about welcoming and thanking guests. Thanks SC!

From there we went to IO to see Bill Arnet's one man show (I think I spelled his last name wrong), and Meta Five before I did my Super Fun Times show. Super Fun Times is a group that just kind of got together to start doing shows in this 11:00 slot. I got invited two Sundays ago and played in the last three shows. And tonight, since Rich and Molly were there for Bill's show, we invited them to play with us. It was nice for them 'cause Molly is on Mainstage SC and her and Rich don't get to perform together as much as they used to.

EVERYONE WINS!

Killing Time

Eric Lindberg wrote about this and I feel compelled to as well. Last night we had a three hour rehearsal with a guy who started Poetry Slam in Chicago. He was talking to us because he was working with our artistic director to combine CSz and Poetry Slam...into PoetrySportz. I haven't been free on a night it has played, but I hear nothing but great things.

He is at our rehearsal to help wit our poetry based games. The first hour was all him talking about history, which left me instantly disconnected. I should start by saying that Spoken Poetry is one of my least favorite forms of "entertainment". It is sort of a bastard middle ground between poems on paper, and songs...both of which I like. I like writing poems, I like reading poems, but watching someone theatrically express their poem? Poison. It's good to see in order to represent it on a comedy stage...but not on a frequent basis.

To those who love it. Good. Great! That's why it's still around! You love it!

It just makes me cringe...and apparently, it makes me lose my train of thought. Bu-bye.

Days 12 & 13: Beloit, WI

My dad emailed me for the ending to this epic adventure. Apparently my life is Harry Potter-esque...except there's no magic or school or dead Dumbledore's (if you didn't know this, keep up...c'mon).

Not a super eventful ending to the adventure. Beloit, WI. I like to pronounce it "Bloit". It was far enough away that we needed to leave Wednesday night and shoot all day Thursday. The drive was not in a corporate jet...it was in Rich's car. Pretty standard...a few rounds of 21 questions.

It was snowing the day we left. Nothing major...minor accumulation. It was the kind of snow I like...you look outside, you see snow, that song from A Charlie Brown Christmas when they're ice skating starts playing in your head.

We get to Beloit. It is still kind of snowing...but it's 12 degrees. Twelve. Degrees. Ugh.

We wake up early the next morning and head over to the main office. We had to shoot our opener and closer of the whole piece. All of the other stuff we were shooting was the stuff that went in the middle. It took us until about 7:00. I was sooooo hungry by the time we were done. I was so hungry I felt like I was going to throw up. We stopped at some place...Ruby Tuesdays? Our server had a thick Wisconsin accent...so that was fun. We were pretty out of it from a long day. We got back and I was done.

The other three have one more shoot. Tomorrow as a matter of fact.

It was fun times. I may have a different gig in March for a different client, but no video stuff.

Oh, on the way home, Dumbledore died. The End.

Days 9-11 of 13 (+?): Texas

The Journey continues. This time we are missing our corporate Lear jet, as well as Sarah and Paul. We meet early at the airport to check our luggage and go through security...things that have been rendered foreign to us previously.

After the flight, we drive from the George Bush Airport in Houston to Stafford, TX. I've asked myself to pass the following message along to the State of Texas from my mouth, "Your roads and tolls suck!"

Oddly enough, with our track record of driving, we made it there without a single missed turn! AMAZING! We had one car this time, so Rich and I got to see the navigation chaos up close instead of just following and wondering what they are doing. Here is how it works. The director is driving. As I said earlier, I thought he was the problem, but we found out later it was the camerman, Rich. So Rich (the cameraman...I'll refer to Rich the actor by his self-given nickname, "Draggin'") sits shotgun and has the google map. He gets easily distracted by stuff outside or by his own stories. Dan the sound guy sits behind them with a handheld GPS system. GPS! He bought this because of how bad they are with directions. But, they still don't listen as much as they should. Regardless, we get to the hotel with zero problems.

After a meal and sleep we pack up to head to the branch of the store we're shooting for. It's Texas, and it's warm. I didn't sleep well because I'm coming down with a cold. The first shoot they want to set up doesn't require either of us...this ends up meaning a two hour nap in the van. Awesome. So the shoot didn't really start until 10:00am...but we would be hitting two locations during the day.

We finish at our first location and head to the second. Rich and I get to meet AJ Foyt, Jr...four time Indy 500 winner. We're shooting at his garage. There are about 9 indy cars in there...Rich got to sit in one! Neither of us are sports fans...and racing is somehow included in sports. We also meet his newest driver, Felipe Giaffone (I think that is his name). We're just happy to meet him...but it isn't a big deal to us. Later I find out Deanna told Rebecca H. about us meeting him and she flipped out and called her dad. He's big news.

Enter Black Friday. The weather went from warm to cold and windy really fast, and then we headed out to a new hotel closer to the airport. In comes the usual driving. I'll say we took five wrong turns, and I might be missing some. We kept turning too early...all the while, Dan was saying "we need to go down further according to the GPS". He was right.

We ate. Slept. And shot some stuff at the airport...then hoped on the Commercial flight home.

We have at least one day of driving to the last(?) location and one day of shooting. There may be one more thing after that, but I think next week's 1.5 days will be the end of this job.

It has been great.

PS. I'm watching The Colbert Report on Comedy Central right now and he has referred to Oregon as "California's Canada" for the second time now.