Day 37

Miami, FL. Rough morning. We got up at 7:30 to get off the ship early. That’s 6:30 to you Chicago folk, and 4:30 to Oregonians. It is a necessity to get breakfast on these days. Unfortunately the same goes for everyone else. Buffet nightmare. The phenomenon I call the “buffet shuffle” was in full effect. This is when people are constantly in a state of almost making up their mind. It results in a lot of starts, stops, turns and barely any looking for who is around you. The more kids in the equation for this dance of death, the worse.

I got oatmeal and yogurt and made a bee line for a table. Worse yet is that people are in travel mode, so they might have luggage with them, or strollers, or other things they might want to carry and stop mid-walkway with.

Around 8:30 we made it. We started our journey off the ship with the memory of getting screwed in the customs line. Last time there were four lines…two of these lines went to one agent each and the other two went to two agents each. We were in a “one agent” line and it took forever. This time I was looking for the best line. Andy was already in line three and held up a single finger. No, he wasn’t flipping us off, he was letting us know #1 was the fast lane.

We got through and headed to town. Christmas cards are out! If you don’t get a card it is either on the way or we don’t have your address. There are a couple of cards here with “near-addresses” on them…yours will be late or never get to you. Maybe you are someone we hate (probably not)…you can pretend you are in the “near-address” pile and then feel instantly loved by us on these holidays.

Last Sunday was the Johnny Roast Beef xmas party. They hinted that they may have called and left a voice message or two. Thirty-three…that was the number of messages I had. To be fair, two were from my dad. If you get a chance, go see Johnny Roast Beef on Wednesdays at iO.

While getting things done (blog, flickr, youtube vids…more on that later) at the hotel…HOLD ON! As I’m typing this I’m watching the Strongman Competition on ESPN and there is a competitor from Norway named Odd Haugen. Anyway…I was at the hotel. There was a family there. Dad (steven), 13-ish year old son (Jason), and mom. Why do I know their names except mom? The kid was tired but didn’t want to fall asleep in the lobby. So he was walking around. “What are you doing, Jason?!” He didn’t want to sleep. He went to sit on a suitcase so he wouldn’t be comfortable and thus not fall asleep. “Don’t sit on the suitcase, Jason!” He wanted to know what time they were going to leave to go get on their cruise. “If we leave now we’ll just be waiting there in a line.” Mom suggests “Read your book.” “I’ve already read 6 chapters since we’ve left.” “Just read your book!” He didn’t feel like it. Later he grabs a book. I think, good he is going to read and shut his mom up. “What are you doing Jason? Read your required reading! If you’re going to read, just read your required reading! Steven. Steven! Tell him he needs to read his required reading!” Did I mention Steven and Jason both had minor colds? Just enough to be stuffy and coughing the whole time. Did I also mention that Steven was sitting in a chair 4 feet to my left and mom was sitting in a chair 4 feet to my right? Jason would pace back and forth between them…right in front of me. I called Jen in the middle of another mom bitch-out and said “The cruise is over.” I hope these people aren’t on our ship. They’ll never make it.

Tonight there is a new comedian on the ship. We’re going to check him out.

(later that evening)

Crap. Well, first…the comedian (David Naster) was pretty good. The act was billed as family-friendly, and he did a good job of just skirting the line sometimes. The other thing I liked was that he rolled with it. By this I mean he had a good enough amount of material in his brain that he could take his act with the crowd instead of hoping they stayed with him. Well done. However, in the first few moments before the show started Jen pops up by me and says “you’ll never guess who I just saw in the crowd!” I had no idea. Turns out it was Jason and mom. They’re on our ship. Glad I didn’t chance the hope that they wouldn’t be and say something stupid in the hotel.