I made it...whew!

Eight hours of Santa. I think it went pretty well. I was in a major hotel being Santa for guests at their very fancy buffet. There were all kinds of people there. My favorites were the elderly...very happy people, they. I think I saw the owner of Doug's Hot Dogs and almost said something to him as Santa, but decided not to.

The kids were good. I'm glad I didn't have to do the sit in a chair and have kids forced on my lap thing, though. There was one table that had a high chair, but the kid wasn't there. The two adults that were warned me that she didn't like Santa at all. I said I would give 10 feet...they recommended 20. They were right. She started screaming as soon as I came in. This is when this Santa broke out his "unspoken restraining order" bit for the adults...I had to stay at least 20 feet away or there was trouble!

There were three red-headed kids. Two boys and a girl. They were walking around. I asked if they were walking to their table. One of the boys said "we were supposed to have a table, but something happened. My aunt is getting to the bottom of this." The other said, very matter-of-factly, "we don't celebrate Christmas...we celebrate Chaunaka (sp?)." And the girl said "we're triplettes." These kids I saw the most often and they were VERY inquisitive. Wanting to know all the secret workings of Santa. They didn't see Santa as mystical and wonderful...they saw him as a mystery to be solved. CSI: Jewish Triplettes.

My "Santa voice" is basically a friendly version of the Darrell Hammond (SNL) impersonation of Sean Connery. About five different adults said "Santa sounds like he has a little bit of an Irish brogue." One lady even found me after asking at the table to ask where I was from...I said the North Pole. She said, "No, what part of Ireland?" To which I replied, "it's just my Santa voice" in my real voice.

There were two private rooms amongst the other dining areas. One had a family with about 7-9 kids (cousins I'd guess). They were sort of dressed alike in groups. You know how some parents like to make sure their 2 and 4 year-olds have the same dresses on for xmas and stuff like that? It was like that...except that some of the kids were boys and in the 14-16 range. Don't get me wrong, they weren't wearing dresses. But they were wearing matching shirts under matching sleeveless sweaters. The matriarch of the group let me know that this was the 6th year they had come to this, and in the same room, and later they would be caroling. They asked me to come back to the room for a picture...I came back 3 times and no one budged for a picture...their loss! No GIGANTOR SANTA FOR THEM!!!

I didn't really hit much trouble until the very end. As I was making my last rounds I found a kid who replied to my "are you having a good Christmas?" with "I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THE REAL SANTA!!!" I ignored him and moved on. I also found a 4-6 year old boy who responded with "NO!" I said, "Why aren't you having a good Christmas?" to him as he was walking right by me and he turned and said "I DON'T EVEN CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS!"

YEOWCH! Oh well...his loss.

About every 20 minutes or so I would take a 5-10 minute break to cool off, drink water, and/or use the restroom. Three times I took longer breaks to visit the employee cafeteria and eat. They had a nice salad bar and a good xmas meal going on back there. Just me and the employees...until around 2:00pm. When I went in there were also two cops back there having a meal and watching the game on TV. When I went back around 4:00pm...two other cops eating a free meal and watching the game. 6:15...when I finished...I kid you not: 14 cops all eating and talking and watching the game on TV. FOURTEEN! I wonder if being a cop is dangerous anymore?

Merry Christmas!

That's right. You can stuff your "happy Holidays" in a sack. Christmas wins!

Speaking of. Deanna and I are celebrating xmas today...xmas eve. Why? I'll be playing Santa from 10am-6pm on xmas day.

That's right kids, I said "playing". The real Santa will be tired from a night of delivering toys. Why people want to see Santa on xmas day, I don't know. But I'm not questioning it.

I'l also be coming back home for a small stay in January, so that should be great!

Snow...a lot of snow.

Holy crap! So here's my day today. It snowed a couple of days ago. Not a lot, but enough that there was still a light covering on non-roads.

So, today, I go to ComedySportz for a remote show call time of 11:45am. I'm driving. The show isn't until 2:00pm, but we need to do sound check. Everything goes fine. The show happens. During the show I glance through a crack in the curtains to see a lot of snow coming down outside. A lot. We get done with our show around 3:00 and go to get our stuff and head out. The people we did the show are telling us that the next thing on the docket for them is a cruise on a boat. We laugh. They weren't kidding. Did I mention it was snowing?

Tara was on the remote and she was hosting rehearsal for our sketch group at 4:00pm. It was about 3:40 when our car came back from vallet. And there was snow. The drive was slow going and we got to Tara's around 4:05. Still snowing.

I park right in front of Tara's building and go inside. I'm in a sketch group who's working name is sort of like Black Angus, but we haven't settled on an actual name yet. The cool thing is none of us have day jobs, so we can rehearse during the day. Nights get filled up quick with rehearsal schedules and shows, so it is nice to have the daytime freedom. I'm there until 6:00pm. I come outside to the car...it is snowing. There is about 2 inches on the car.

I drive home with my awesome driving skills in time to eat a sandwich before a photo shoot at 7:00pm. Deanna left for a ComedySportz show right as my stylist, Monique, called me. Deanna said "is that Joe saying ComedySportz is cancelled?" No. It wasn't. She walks to ComedySportz. Monique shows up. About 10 minutes later Beau, the person I was shooting, knocks on the backdoor. I thought it might have been Deanna and that she forgot her keys. I don't know how he got to the backdoor, but he did. You have to walk through a spooky alley to find the backdoor.

About 30 minutes after he got there, Deanna actually DID come home. They cancelled the show right as she got there.

At 10:00pm I went outside (still snowing) with a ruler. 10.5 inches. Snow, ladies and gentlemen.

Tomorrow morning I will be standing on a street corner handing out fliers for 2 hours...this should be interesting.

Fall is HERE!..Farewell, Fall!

Sometimes people joke that fall and spring last a month in chicago...and that winter and summer last 5 months. Well, today it is snowing.

Not heavy downfall, mass accumulation snow. But it is out there, falling from the sky. It is similar to the snow I saw the first time I came out here in April 2002...that's right, April. The snow would constantly be falling, but it would never accumulate on the ground at all. It would just disappear. It was the coolest snow I had seen. And it is back.

Some of you may remember my trip to San Francisco last year. I bought a $20 faux flight jacket kind of thing at a Walgreens. It has a velcro patch that says "cargozone" ('cargo zone' for all of you who want to try and force it to become an Italian word). And by velcro, I mean you can tear the patch off and replace it with another (I haven't found any other velcro patches yet).

This jacket is by far the best purchase I have made. It was cheap. It is light weight. It is warm.

Speaking of cheap. Marshall Field's had their 13 hour sale on Saturday, and I was there with some other people handing out fliers for the event. Rich Prouty, Sam Super and I went to take advantage of the coupons for 20% of one clearance item. Rich has an excellent bargain sense. I've hit up two of these Field's sales with him now and both times I have gotten excellent deals, and he comes away with nothing. Last time I got a cool show shirt for $20. This time Rich found a shirt and said "11 bucks! Aww, it's too big." Not for me it wasn't...and not for Sam. I got two shirts, Sam got one, Rich...none. I've been banned from bargain shopping with Rich.

Birthday Jamboree!

Yesterday was my birthday and it was good times!

Deanna and I went to breakfast at Uncommon Ground. Normally I get some sort of egg, meat, potato or pancake combo. Uncommon Ground thinks that is for suckers. I got eggs, pancakes and sausage, but they were all separate dishes. Luckily our server was an improvisor...we'll call him Jason. He said he could pull some strings or something along those lines. We got some sort of discount.

Deanna got me 3 DVDs I wanted and a shirt and sweater that were pretty cool. One of the DVDs (Harry Potter 3) was fullscreen mode instead of widescreen. We went back to exchange it and saw the same sweaters in different colors. Deanna got me another sweater, tshirt, and a sport coat. Nice!

For the rest of the day we hung out. I watched some of xmen 2 and then we both watched Batman Begins. The day goes on. Nice and relaxed.

We had initially decided to try to have a dinner. Deanna sent out the invite to some people I hold dear, but hardly anyone responded or they were busy. So we just mellowed out all day...until 9:55pm.

Our door buzzer makes it usual sound (like someone stepping on a baby bird). I go answer and it's Tara...with balloons, two 2-liters of soda and party hats. Suspicious.

I had thought, earlier in the day, that she might be throwing a surprise deal of some sort, but I didn't want to be the guy who expects a party all day and nothing happens. So I put that thought aside. As soon as Tara showed up, everything started making sense:
- Deanna was tidying up the apartment more than we normally do
- When we were exchanging the DVD I was looking at video games and she said "maybe you should get a party game"

I wouldn't necessarily say "I KNEW IT!", but I had minor suspicions that I let go. We already have a party game (Donkey Konga) so it would have made sense to get one...and it is nice to have a clean apartment. They didn't 100% lead to "there will be a party".

After Tara came Sam, Stacey, Robyn, and Rich. We hung out, I showed them the wonders of Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. We played celebrity...and then...as usual, I bust out Donkey Konga.

Donkey Konga is a bongo game...that's all I'm going to say about it. It is fun and hilarious to watch people play.




My Favorite shots by Deanna:

Why Martin is Stupid:

-he wears glasses
-he smells
-the hair on top of his head is the same length as the hair on his face
-he makes people update their blogs

Happy Halloween!

It's Halloween! Remember when it was scary and fun and mystical?!

If I remember correctly I was living here in this same apartment last year and we had zero trick or treat kids. Ah well.

I have a birthday in 3 days. I was almost born on Halloween. I have a childhood memory of my dad saying my name would have been "Goblin" if I would have been born on 10/31. It seems like my dad is now more like he was when I was a kid...a slightly mischieveous prankster. Just slightly. There was a period from my teens to twenties when time was rough...maybe it was two kids and college money. But I remember little tidbits from my youth like that.

My mom used to cut my hair in the kitchen and he would always come in and offer to do it saying he'd give me a buzz cut or a mohawk. Or when we were at the Smithsonian when I was about 5-6 years old. There were skulls in a display case. He said when I died he would put my skull in there and I thought that was the coolest thing. My mom didn't seem to care much for the comment.

I think my dad helped me develop my sense of humor. Anytime I left a light on, left stuff on a desk, or got in his way while the TV was on I got: "Are you in [room with light on that I wasn't in anymore]?"; "The sofa's not a desk."; or "you make a better door than a window." This helped me because I would start coming up with clever retorts to the 'dad burns'.

Now it's come full circle and I usually am telling Deanna to turn lights off or rinse her dishes. Ah well, the legacy continues!

Hey...

Where the hell are the Mandrell Sisters when the world needs them?!

Great Show!

Had a fun show tonight at IO. Our suggestion was "Ice" and I went into a scene knowing I was Vanilla Ice and I was pissed that my career sucked. Emily pimped me into singing to her and the music that was already playing was soft and ballad-esque as a sort of musical score for the scene. I just started singing Ice Ice Baby but to the music and everyone jumped in and made it this big awesome thing.

I've been going through a phase where I haven't been hungry at all and I haven't been sleeping well. I'm hungry again, but my sleep is still semi-crappy. Every night I go to sleep hoping it will be a good night's sleep. I've been robbed each night...of sleep. No sleep, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

And now Declan has nothing to do.

CORN!

Sunday we went out to a corn maze. It was more than awesome.

I moved here in March of 2003. In October of that year, there was promise of a ComedySportz gathering to go out to a corn maze. I was excited...it never happened.

The following year, remembering the awful cancellation of the prior trip, plans were made again. 10/04 would be TRIUMPHANT! ... No. Didn't happen. A lot of people blamed Shad for no real reason. I was the first and loudest of said blamers.

This year, I didn't get my hopes up. WE DID IT! There were 20 of us all in all. A mix of CSz-ers, friends or family of CSz-ers, and just other improvisors.

10 acres of corn, at night, nearly full moon in a cloudless sky. The first half of the maze isn't haunted...the second half IS!

All sorts of people dressed in dark cloaks, hiding in corn and jumping out. A couple of guys with chainsaws. One Scarecrow who would be up on a stick one minute, then gone then next. And of course...a gorilla. What? Yes...a gorilla. Probably the one that scared me the most too. Deanna got scared a LOT and her back was sore when she got back home.

On the Thursday before the corn, Deanna and I got tickets to see the Second City Mainstage show. Technically it was the last night it would be it's full self. They're starting to work on the next show and that means using the post-show improv sets to work on new material that could get entered into the show as soon as it's good. Luckily they weren't doing this stuff yet, Molly (who graced us with tickets) invited us to do the improv set after their show. The audience is invited to hang out for it.

Deanna and I were a little nervous but we went up there. I wasn't too happy with my first scene, but had fun as an Inuit Psychologist in my second scene.

Good times.

Halloween = SPIDERS!!!

or "What the short people in front of me don't find with their faces."

It's October, and it's finally starting to feel like it around here. Yesterday Deanna dropped her phone (my old phone that was exactly like the one she had that died) and did something bad to it. So today she bought a Blackberry 7100g for pretty cheap from some guy. Where was this guy? Aurora, IL...that's where. She asked if I wanted to come and I said "No...but I will". I had zero to do today so I figured I'd kill a couple hours. It's about 41 miles away...it's Columbus Day...we left at 1:30 and got back around 6:30. Granted, we did stop to eat, but "see you later, day" *waves*.

She then left for rehearsal and I went to 7-11 for delicious sugar water...Pepsi...which is better than Coke, no matter WHAT Robyn Norris says. I went out the back door and noticed a spider by the light. Then noticed another. I had seen them before and thought "I should get my camera out". So tonight!...I did.

CAREFUL! THEY ARE SPOOKY!



Equally as spooky were the cool shadows cast by this porch light without it's decorative cover.

Pet Peeves

I can't remember how these got planted in my mind...be it comedian or someone else's peeves.

Two simple phrases that people use a lot: "To be honest..." and "In my personal opinion..."

1) "To be honest..." or anything like that ("I honestly think...", anything with "honest"). Anytime I hear someone say this I think to myself "so, THIS is the sentence I should trust. All of the other sentences were lies, but THIS one is honest." Let this be planted in your brain and you will hear almost EVERYONE say this at some point. It also can be taken as the opposite sometimes. "Why would he say he's being honest? He must really want me to believe this...I don't buy it."

2) "In my personal opinion..." or even just "In my opinion...". Ugh. Look, you're talking right? I can already assume what you're telling me is an opinion, and if I can assume it's an opinion coming from you that it must be personal.

3) "In my honest opinion..." ... the combo. Not only did I assume it was your opinion 'cause you were telling me, but now I have to determine whether everything you've been saying is a lie.

People are story tellers. People forget things. When we tell a story we heard we make up for what we forgot, usually by embellishing.


Oh


Also


People who dress up their pets, or people who dress their twin children in the same outfits...STOP IT!

Hey...Improvisors

Just updating for the sake of it. I've been getting irritated with improv lately. To the point where I took a break from doing The Beatbox. I see too many improvisors coasting through shows and over loading their schedules...bad combo. Too the point where I started doing it. When I got back from Maine I stopped doing two different shows. That left me with three. Now I'm down to ComedySportz and ImprovOlympic. I can feel something big coming...whether it's good or not I can't tell.

If you're an improvisor, and you read this, and you rely on the same bits to get through your shows, or you have no realization of how the audience is reacting to the energy level of the show while you're in the show...all I ask is that you try something new and think of the audience.

I know too many performers who come to shows like it's a chore...like they'd rather be doing anything. It shows on stage, and worse yet, it rubs off on the other performers. This usually happens in two ways. One, the performers match the crappy energy of the person who doesn't want to be there. Two, the performer notices the crappy energy of the person and the other performers infected and tries to over compensate with super energy. Neither are very effective...sometimes the second one is, but usually it comes across as creepy.

So, if you're doing a show that you don't want to be doing, stop doing it.

To my knowledge I've met one improvisor who can be in a pissy mood pre-show...but manages to not let it totally effect the others, and totally plays an A game when on stage. Kudos to you, unnamed improvisor.

Chicken Soup for the Soul

I just commented in someone elses blog about this, but felt inspired to repeat. The best show in the world, hands down, is AFV...America's Funniest Home Videos. I love this show. Doesn't even matter if it is a repeat or not (and Deanna knows that now).

The only stipulation is you need to watch it from a recording you have control over...VHS, TiVo...whatever. If you can skip past the hosting and get straight to the clips, you're set.

Back when I lived in Portland and worked a day job (a secret message to everyone still working there: "SUCKERS!") life was bleak. I could wait forever before I'd go in to work, couldn't wait to leave...took 2 hour lunches a lot. Didn't care for it...especially the meetings...ugh. Five days of this a week was enough to make me want to stab myself and anyone around me. Luckily, back then Fridays were the days that AFV came on.

I also had the benefit of doing a ComedySportz show on most Fridays, and that would come before viewing the AFV show.

They do these montages. All clips of the same kind of thing in rapid fire. Sometimes just as plain montages to music, sometimes as "28 _____ in 30 seconds". Some of the best ones:
- guys getting hit in the nuts
- dads changing diapers
- babies puking
- people running into clean glass doors
- pinata mishaps

At the end of a long week I would almost always be laughing to the point of tears and not being able to stop...and I would rewind the montage and watch it 3-5 times. I love it!

Speaking of pinatas. Deanna and I could throw possibly the safest pinata party after all the learning we've done. It would be called "here is an open bowl of candy, have some". There is no such thing as a safe pinata party.

ACKNOWLEDGE ME!!!!

So, I just spent 5 days handing out stuff for a major department store. Two shifts per day...all starting early in the morning.

It's a great gig. It pays well and the people are fun to work with. However, I have some qualms with YOU John Q. Public. (please note: this is hypocritical and I am aware of that)

If someone (me) is offering you free anything, you have two choices: "Yes" and "No" (or "No thanks", "not interested"...some verbal recognition that "I see what you have, but I'm not taking it").

There are a multitude of a-holes that didn't really start getting under my skin until the 5th day of little sleep. Why? Because they responded in the various ways to the following question:

"Free [event name] info from [major department store]?"

Response 1: Slowly walk by without glancing my direction or acknowledging that I even exist...this isn't Streetwise, people. It's free. If you don't like it, there are garbage cans everywhere. If you don't want it, save us both time and say so.

Solution: I follow them a little bit giving them more details on the event...just to make sure they don't want it.

Response 2: Slowly walk by, staring at the flier intently but never reaching out to take it. As this happens, 8-10 other people are walking by who might want it.

Solution: The creation of the 2 second rule. I give the "stare hards" 2 seconds before they are written off as a no-go. I only had one person actually ask for one after the 2 second move-on.

Response 3: Similar to Response 1, but with head phones or a cell-phone.

Solution: Same as Solution 1.

Response 4 - Over-Acknowledgement: They want to know what it's about, and something about their aura tells me immediately no matter what I say they won't want it.

Solution 4: "All the info is right here. Take it with you to read!"

My biggest peeve is the total ignore. I give the most grief to those people...albeit minimal, it's enough to feel justified.

If you're out on the street, and someone is handing out stuff, take it. Just take it and read it. That's all you have to do. There is probably a trash can nearby if you don't need whatever it is. Maybe you'll be surprised and find out that [famous singer with large buttocks] is going to be in [major department store] that day.

Chances are the person handing out stuff gets to take a break when they've handed out the stuff. Maybe not, but they DO have to hand them out. Sometimes it may be cool stuff. Sometimes they might be eyeing the garbage can 3 feet away from them with dreams of a job easily finished the wrong way, but you'll never no. Just take one.

(Also, tip your waiters and pizza delivery guys. Everyone should have to work in a restaurant for a month and deliver food for a month...actually, anything that requires tipping (stripping?). Until you have, you don't understand tipping, and you don't understand what circumstances are not your server's fault (i.e. hair in the food)

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, or "Everybody STOP, hey, what's that sound?"

I just got done doing a CSz remote at Northwestern University. The show got over at 12:30am and I came home around 1:20am. Our apartment is fairly close to the parking lot. There are many cars in the parking lot. One car, however, is different. One car has chosen this night/morning to run a "horn check". It's not a loud horn, as far as car horns go. It's not a horn hooked up to an alarm in a beeping pattern. It a fairly whimpy buzz-type horn that is going constant.

I'm hoping I'll be able to sleep.

PS. If you call me and I don't return your call in what seems like a normal return call time, email me...my phone has been "acting up".

Ghost in the Machine?...around the Machine?

Anyone out there believe in ghosts? I do...a little...enough to not not believe in them. Something strange has been happening to my stuff...maybe YOU can explain it. Three times now I've found something of mine with a screw all the way unscrewed...and not always the same thing...and usually something I have on my person constantly, except at night.

I just put this altogether today...right now.

I'll go backwards. I have a belt that I have worn almost constantly since my last belt broke. It's a dress belt and it is reversable. Brown on one side, black on the other. The buckle rotates with a spring mechanism so you can flip it to whatever side you want out. There are two small screws holding the base of the buckle to the belt. The screws are about 1/4" long with small threads. I just notice one of the screws almost all the way out. I had to "spin" it a lot to get it back into place. Maybe it spun loose over time, but it was sticking out and I think I would have noticed it. This is when I remembered that this belt had that happen before. The screw was all the way out as far as it was this time. I'd understand if it was a little loose, but it was near the point of falling out, both times.

The belt incidents were pretty far spread.

In between those, about a month ago, my phone antennae popped off. There was a little hole in the back and the screw was missing. I remembered setting my phone down on my desk to charge it for a morning gig, and discovered the screw missing at the gig. When I got home I found the screw on my desk. There used to be a rubber stopper filling the screw hole, but that was gone. The screw is about 1/2" long, small threads and took me a while to screw it in. PLUS, it has a hexagonal slot...not a screw head.

Screws a little loose...understood. Screws coming all the way out while just sitting around? Mystery?

Been there...

Everyone else is posting about this so I will too. Ever been to a fancy birthday party? Where everyone goes a little overboard and wears costumes? Maybe all the guests get a gift?

Let me ask you this then, every been to a fancy birthday party where you convert you equestrian compound into a fake airport terminal complete with check in counter, fake security guards, fake flight attendants, fake tourists, fake harekrishnas, and a fake pilot? Only to find out you'll be going from the bar area through a fake front of a plane to an outdoor seated area? Only to find a fake American Idol contest between three friends of the birthday boy? Only to find out the third guest is actually James Taylor (Tailor?) who does a 90 minute concert just for the guests? Only to find that after that you go back and a building had an iron gate on it that says "Wonka", and out comes Willy Wonka (not Johnny Depp)? Only to follow Violet, Veruca and Agustus inside to a colorful candy filled Wonka Land (complete with Oompa Loompa Dancers)?

Well, I have.

I was one of the fake security guards. I got to "x-ray" items from the guests as they came in. 400 rich people altogether in one place. Must be nice.

The fun part was that I had guitar class the following day. The first class of the session. The teacher asked if any of us had seen any live music recently, so I got to say I saw James Tailor (Taylor?)...then she asked where and I had to go into details.

Oh yeah...THIS thing!

Boy...I could have been blogging up a storm last week...if my hotel room had a non-dial-up internet connection.

Folks, I've just come back from my first time ever being in Louisiana. Guess I picked a hell of a week to be there, eh?

I got hired to do a gig from Sunday to Thursday (today) at a Casino down there. That was great! I went down with Tara, Matt, and Alida and we all got our own rooms...we got free food all week at the Casino food court or buffet...and we got to watch the sad tale of Hurricane Katrina.

I'll try and sum things up.

Sunday: We arrive early, go over the rallies we're going to do (5 rallies) and eat. At this point, Hurricane Katrina is off shore and predicted to make landfall the next day (? I can't even remember if it hit on Monday or Tuesday now). We're unsure if it will still go N by NE or got straight N, or worse, head N by NW towards us.

Monday: We are up early for a 9:00am rally. Two more rallies throughout the day. I still can't remember if it hit the coast Monday or Tuesday. It was Monday. The weather out by us is fine. Anytime we are not doing the shows, we are glued to the Weather Channel and CNN. People who heeded the warnings were slowly showing up to stay in the hotel at the Casino.

Tuesday: More gigs, more people showing up, more chaos on the TV.

Wednesday: We teach some classes, there are more people showing up. Usually the luggage they have consists of plastic bags filled with what looks like whatever they could grab in a hurry. Everyone is sort of walking around sharing stories. They are told they can't go back to New Orleans until Monday, and that will only be to grab what they can of their belongings and leave. News of looting and shooting.

Thursday: Early morning workshops and we leave for the airport. I was worried we wouldn't make it out because there was thunder and lightning. We made it. I'm home.

This whole thing is insane. I was in the state, but I wasn't close to it. It's scary. Human survival mode is kicking in and not in a safe way.

Please send good thoughts in whatever way you normally do to Cayne Collier's relatives. I know he was from there and I haven't heard from him whether he knows if they evacuated or not.

I've Been Called Out...

Today someone called me out on not being thankful...well, at least for not showing thanks.

I was glad they did it, because they are right. I'm usually inwardly thankful for things, but there are a lot of things that I just take for granted.

If you've done anything at all nice or thoughtful for me in the past, thanks.

Hey, it's money.

Some people in the non-acting world may not have any idea of what actors actually do to make money. Unless we're blessed, we don't get every commercial out there. I have yet to get any commercials while out here. But I have done "corporate" and "promotions". Corporate is a gig for a corporation of some sort...holiday party, Q4 jamboree, what have you. Promotions usually envolves plugging something going on somewhere...handing out fliers and what not. It's not always the most enjoyable process, but luckily they hire actors who can act like it's a blast.

I happen to love doing them because the pay is pretty good and the shifts are usually no longer than 2 hours. This last week I did five of these for a major department store in Chicago (I don't want to say the name...think "Law Enforcement Title" and "'_____ of Dreams' s").

I was supposed to be on a 6th that got modified last minute. They had a huge gala event and I was to dress as a glam rocker and give guests their glam rock name. I would have looked like this:



Well, they did the same event in another state earlier the week before and the head dudes didn't like the rock guys. We were replaced by women, as the rest of the roles for the night were glammed up women. No sweat here, but that costume was hilarious.

RIP Ferny...Long Live Ferny!

Ever since I have known Deanna there has been a fern in our lives. The first one, from her marriage, died in the heat of the summer sun at the house we lived in. It was called "Ferny". As it was dwindling in death, Deanna cut away the dead parts and said it would bounce back...that it had done so before. Well, she cut EVERYTHING away. There was nothing green to absorb sunlight. We had a flower pot with roots and dirt.

It was time. We replaced "Ferny" with "Ferny", a fern. That Ferny made the trek to Chicago in the back of a Penske and was doing pretty good...until we went to Maine. It was hot while we were gone. Either the guy watching our place or the subletters who came later had neglected Ferny the gift of water...and then totally douced her with it. I trimmed away the dead parts remembering what Deanna had done. Five green branches remained. Not enough though. Ferny is dead.

Yesterday I went to a local plant and flower store and bought Ferny...a fern. Long Live Ferny!

Oddly enough, the woman helping me had only worked there 4 days and once she saw my name on the credit card she recognized me...she is Sam Super's girlfriend, Stacey. We had only briefly been introduced around Sam, and they park in the same parking lot as us...so it was kind of nice to meet meet her.

On a side note, I found a cool flash program for displaying photos that I will be using on my main website soon.

MORE VOLLEYBALL!

More volleyball was had this weekend. Apparently, someone at Sara's work got ahold of the picture of her flailing from last week and printed it up all over the office.

Here today gone tomorrow...

Ahhhh...the beginning of the month.

This is the time when many people are moving. We've had a lot of turn over at our apartment this month. It might have something to do with the new leases, or it might just be time for some people. A pleasant surprise for us was that the neighbors above us moved out.

I like to call them the Heavyfooters. Deanna and I are under the impression that none of them sleep...and we know for sure they are solid walkers. This would normally lead me to the conclusion that they are hefty people, but long ago when I lived in Beaverton, OR in an apartment on the third floor, my neighbor would seemingly stomp loudly on the stairs walking up to the apartment. I assumed this neighbor I had never seen weighed about 285. When I finally caught a peek one day as I heard the approaching stomps, I was surprised to see a 4'11" petite Asian girl. I never did see our upstairs neighbors for sure, but I heard them walking...a lot.

In the midst of moving somethings get left behind.

Wednesday night as I rode off on my bike, headed for a 10:00pm rehearsal, I noticed a nice purple couch sitting on the sidewalk. So nice that a homeless guy was just sitting down to enjoy it. It had rained a little and was starting to rain again, so couch was a little damp...but under a tree that protected it from some of the drizzle. I wonder if I would have remembered the couch if the homeless man hadn't just been starting to get comfortable.

Needless to say, the next morning the couch looked like this:

What really caught my eye as I saw this was a little pile of trash right next to it. It looked, at first, as if someone had dumped out random pieces of junk and left them. But a small figurine had been painstakingly set in an upright position...a princess looking over her land of refuse.

Who is Joey Bland?

That's correct! Joey Bland from ComedySportz just taped in L.A. for Jeopardy yesterday. It airs 10/27 and I can't wait. Joey=hilarity. Kat Gotsick was on vacation in L.A. and watched the taping. She said that Alex Trebeck was heard to say "Joey Bland is not."

On another note, I wish humidity had nuts...that way I would know where to kick it. It is supposed to rain and thunder a little here today, but not enough to really get rid of some of this humidity.

Hey, Jen.

Ugh

I'm still here...it's just hot as hell.

More when I can live again.

VOLLEYBALL!

Not a whole lot to talk about in this one, just a lot of photos. I've been busy with photography stuff on the business side since I've been back. Today I met up with some CSz-ers and their friends for some Volleyball. I didn't play at all last year. The year before that I played a moderate amount, but one time I didn't put sunblock on my feet and they burnt badly to the point of severe pain while walking. No more! Just FUN!

Prouty ready for action!...
...
...
...and then not so ready for action
The standard Whetham serve
Water break...
...
GAME ON!


Whetham ready to spike at any moment


"A" for effort. Sara flails for the ball as Clair and Gelbach observe. Let's see that flail close-up...


And lastly...the atomic serve. Right along the bottom edge of the image is the boundary line. That is how much air is being had...Canadian style!

Chicago, I am back.

Just as Canada wept at our departure, Chicago wept with joy at our return. And Chicago wept HARD.

But I have jumped ahead. We left London, ON around 10:00 with 411-421 miles remaining. We made very good time on the freeway. Then we hit customs.

The bridge to Michigan went from one lane into 5 for customs...as you can see above. Deanna pointed out a lane that we jumped into. YES!...then no. That was when we realized we were now in a solid line, and we watched all the other cars fan off from one line (that we were in) into the remaining four. We were in the slow lane.

Once we finally got up there it was not as easy to get out as it was to get in. The guy asked where we were from, and paused after every reply for what seemed like too long. IDs, where we came from, how long we were in Maine, why we were there for so long...and then my favorite. "Can I see your left hand, sir?" I didn't know why at first, but it was because he had our IDs and saw we lived at the same address. Good thing Deanna was wearing her ring. He asked when the date of the wedding was and we said we hadn't decided...probably winter, but that just matched our standard 4 months from now bit.

I guess it was really hot while we were away, but it started pouring down rain as we got closer to town. Very wet. Not necessarily what I would call "ideal unpacking conditions".

We waited a while for the rain to die down, and it didn't. So we unpacked.

Windows open, fans on. I learned how to use my new camera. I ordered it while I was in Maine and it was delivered here. It is awesome. Purely, awesome.

I don't know how much I'll be writing in this thing from here on out. Thanks for reading this far and I'll try to keep updating.

415 left to go

We are about to leave. Deanna is almost finished with Harry Potter.

I think Canada is sad to see us go. It was nice and sunny the first day, then we awoke to heavy rains. Same thing went for yesterday. It cleared up, and now...rain and Thunder.

Sorry, Canada.

Comments

If you read the comments...on ANY post, apparently...you've met Declan. Everyone, Declan. Declan, everyone.

Declan is the intern at IA. If you're going out there, he can teach you pretty much any Tenacious D song on the guitar.

French to English

We woke up to the sound of pouring rain...and our sunroof was open a crack. I ran down to close it and came back up.

Here's a picture of the Poullet Frit Kentucky from our rainy, eighty-deuce hotel room.

We went down to our free breakfast and I almost faked being french-speaking until the waitress asked (I assumed, because of her hand gestures) how I wanted my eggs. I said "par lez vouz Englais?" Which she did...so I said "scrammbled" and nothing more.

We ate, tipped with US $, and headed out.

After driving a long while we crossed into Ontario and saw ENGLISH!!!

This is a picture of what the Translation for Couche-Tard is...Mac's.

We drove over 500 miles today with approximately 415 left to go tomorrow. We drove through rain, French, and Toronto traffic to end up in London, ON. Tomorrow (hopefully) we are HOME!