ACKNOWLEDGE ME!!!!

So, I just spent 5 days handing out stuff for a major department store. Two shifts per day...all starting early in the morning.

It's a great gig. It pays well and the people are fun to work with. However, I have some qualms with YOU John Q. Public. (please note: this is hypocritical and I am aware of that)

If someone (me) is offering you free anything, you have two choices: "Yes" and "No" (or "No thanks", "not interested"...some verbal recognition that "I see what you have, but I'm not taking it").

There are a multitude of a-holes that didn't really start getting under my skin until the 5th day of little sleep. Why? Because they responded in the various ways to the following question:

"Free [event name] info from [major department store]?"

Response 1: Slowly walk by without glancing my direction or acknowledging that I even exist...this isn't Streetwise, people. It's free. If you don't like it, there are garbage cans everywhere. If you don't want it, save us both time and say so.

Solution: I follow them a little bit giving them more details on the event...just to make sure they don't want it.

Response 2: Slowly walk by, staring at the flier intently but never reaching out to take it. As this happens, 8-10 other people are walking by who might want it.

Solution: The creation of the 2 second rule. I give the "stare hards" 2 seconds before they are written off as a no-go. I only had one person actually ask for one after the 2 second move-on.

Response 3: Similar to Response 1, but with head phones or a cell-phone.

Solution: Same as Solution 1.

Response 4 - Over-Acknowledgement: They want to know what it's about, and something about their aura tells me immediately no matter what I say they won't want it.

Solution 4: "All the info is right here. Take it with you to read!"

My biggest peeve is the total ignore. I give the most grief to those people...albeit minimal, it's enough to feel justified.

If you're out on the street, and someone is handing out stuff, take it. Just take it and read it. That's all you have to do. There is probably a trash can nearby if you don't need whatever it is. Maybe you'll be surprised and find out that [famous singer with large buttocks] is going to be in [major department store] that day.

Chances are the person handing out stuff gets to take a break when they've handed out the stuff. Maybe not, but they DO have to hand them out. Sometimes it may be cool stuff. Sometimes they might be eyeing the garbage can 3 feet away from them with dreams of a job easily finished the wrong way, but you'll never no. Just take one.

(Also, tip your waiters and pizza delivery guys. Everyone should have to work in a restaurant for a month and deliver food for a month...actually, anything that requires tipping (stripping?). Until you have, you don't understand tipping, and you don't understand what circumstances are not your server's fault (i.e. hair in the food)