I just commented in someone elses blog about this, but felt inspired to repeat. The best show in the world, hands down, is AFV...America's Funniest Home Videos. I love this show. Doesn't even matter if it is a repeat or not (and Deanna knows that now).
The only stipulation is you need to watch it from a recording you have control over...VHS, TiVo...whatever. If you can skip past the hosting and get straight to the clips, you're set.
Back when I lived in Portland and worked a day job (a secret message to everyone still working there: "SUCKERS!") life was bleak. I could wait forever before I'd go in to work, couldn't wait to leave...took 2 hour lunches a lot. Didn't care for it...especially the meetings...ugh. Five days of this a week was enough to make me want to stab myself and anyone around me. Luckily, back then Fridays were the days that AFV came on.
I also had the benefit of doing a ComedySportz show on most Fridays, and that would come before viewing the AFV show.
They do these montages. All clips of the same kind of thing in rapid fire. Sometimes just as plain montages to music, sometimes as "28 _____ in 30 seconds". Some of the best ones:
- guys getting hit in the nuts
- dads changing diapers
- babies puking
- people running into clean glass doors
- pinata mishaps
At the end of a long week I would almost always be laughing to the point of tears and not being able to stop...and I would rewind the montage and watch it 3-5 times. I love it!
Speaking of pinatas. Deanna and I could throw possibly the safest pinata party after all the learning we've done. It would be called "here is an open bowl of candy, have some". There is no such thing as a safe pinata party.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
ACKNOWLEDGE ME!!!!
So, I just spent 5 days handing out stuff for a major department store. Two shifts per day...all starting early in the morning.
It's a great gig. It pays well and the people are fun to work with. However, I have some qualms with YOU John Q. Public. (please note: this is hypocritical and I am aware of that)
If someone (me) is offering you free anything, you have two choices: "Yes" and "No" (or "No thanks", "not interested"...some verbal recognition that "I see what you have, but I'm not taking it").
There are a multitude of a-holes that didn't really start getting under my skin until the 5th day of little sleep. Why? Because they responded in the various ways to the following question:
"Free [event name] info from [major department store]?"
Response 1: Slowly walk by without glancing my direction or acknowledging that I even exist...this isn't Streetwise, people. It's free. If you don't like it, there are garbage cans everywhere. If you don't want it, save us both time and say so.
Solution: I follow them a little bit giving them more details on the event...just to make sure they don't want it.
Response 2: Slowly walk by, staring at the flier intently but never reaching out to take it. As this happens, 8-10 other people are walking by who might want it.
Solution: The creation of the 2 second rule. I give the "stare hards" 2 seconds before they are written off as a no-go. I only had one person actually ask for one after the 2 second move-on.
Response 3: Similar to Response 1, but with head phones or a cell-phone.
Solution: Same as Solution 1.
Response 4 - Over-Acknowledgement: They want to know what it's about, and something about their aura tells me immediately no matter what I say they won't want it.
Solution 4: "All the info is right here. Take it with you to read!"
My biggest peeve is the total ignore. I give the most grief to those people...albeit minimal, it's enough to feel justified.
If you're out on the street, and someone is handing out stuff, take it. Just take it and read it. That's all you have to do. There is probably a trash can nearby if you don't need whatever it is. Maybe you'll be surprised and find out that [famous singer with large buttocks] is going to be in [major department store] that day.
Chances are the person handing out stuff gets to take a break when they've handed out the stuff. Maybe not, but they DO have to hand them out. Sometimes it may be cool stuff. Sometimes they might be eyeing the garbage can 3 feet away from them with dreams of a job easily finished the wrong way, but you'll never no. Just take one.
(Also, tip your waiters and pizza delivery guys. Everyone should have to work in a restaurant for a month and deliver food for a month...actually, anything that requires tipping (stripping?). Until you have, you don't understand tipping, and you don't understand what circumstances are not your server's fault (i.e. hair in the food)
It's a great gig. It pays well and the people are fun to work with. However, I have some qualms with YOU John Q. Public. (please note: this is hypocritical and I am aware of that)
If someone (me) is offering you free anything, you have two choices: "Yes" and "No" (or "No thanks", "not interested"...some verbal recognition that "I see what you have, but I'm not taking it").
There are a multitude of a-holes that didn't really start getting under my skin until the 5th day of little sleep. Why? Because they responded in the various ways to the following question:
"Free [event name] info from [major department store]?"
Response 1: Slowly walk by without glancing my direction or acknowledging that I even exist...this isn't Streetwise, people. It's free. If you don't like it, there are garbage cans everywhere. If you don't want it, save us both time and say so.
Solution: I follow them a little bit giving them more details on the event...just to make sure they don't want it.
Response 2: Slowly walk by, staring at the flier intently but never reaching out to take it. As this happens, 8-10 other people are walking by who might want it.
Solution: The creation of the 2 second rule. I give the "stare hards" 2 seconds before they are written off as a no-go. I only had one person actually ask for one after the 2 second move-on.
Response 3: Similar to Response 1, but with head phones or a cell-phone.
Solution: Same as Solution 1.
Response 4 - Over-Acknowledgement: They want to know what it's about, and something about their aura tells me immediately no matter what I say they won't want it.
Solution 4: "All the info is right here. Take it with you to read!"
My biggest peeve is the total ignore. I give the most grief to those people...albeit minimal, it's enough to feel justified.
If you're out on the street, and someone is handing out stuff, take it. Just take it and read it. That's all you have to do. There is probably a trash can nearby if you don't need whatever it is. Maybe you'll be surprised and find out that [famous singer with large buttocks] is going to be in [major department store] that day.
Chances are the person handing out stuff gets to take a break when they've handed out the stuff. Maybe not, but they DO have to hand them out. Sometimes it may be cool stuff. Sometimes they might be eyeing the garbage can 3 feet away from them with dreams of a job easily finished the wrong way, but you'll never no. Just take one.
(Also, tip your waiters and pizza delivery guys. Everyone should have to work in a restaurant for a month and deliver food for a month...actually, anything that requires tipping (stripping?). Until you have, you don't understand tipping, and you don't understand what circumstances are not your server's fault (i.e. hair in the food)
Thursday, September 15, 2005
BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, or "Everybody STOP, hey, what's that sound?"
I just got done doing a CSz remote at Northwestern University. The show got over at 12:30am and I came home around 1:20am. Our apartment is fairly close to the parking lot. There are many cars in the parking lot. One car, however, is different. One car has chosen this night/morning to run a "horn check". It's not a loud horn, as far as car horns go. It's not a horn hooked up to an alarm in a beeping pattern. It a fairly whimpy buzz-type horn that is going constant.
I'm hoping I'll be able to sleep.
PS. If you call me and I don't return your call in what seems like a normal return call time, email me...my phone has been "acting up".
I'm hoping I'll be able to sleep.
PS. If you call me and I don't return your call in what seems like a normal return call time, email me...my phone has been "acting up".
Monday, September 12, 2005
Ghost in the Machine?...around the Machine?
Anyone out there believe in ghosts? I do...a little...enough to not not believe in them. Something strange has been happening to my stuff...maybe YOU can explain it. Three times now I've found something of mine with a screw all the way unscrewed...and not always the same thing...and usually something I have on my person constantly, except at night.
I just put this altogether today...right now.
I'll go backwards. I have a belt that I have worn almost constantly since my last belt broke. It's a dress belt and it is reversable. Brown on one side, black on the other. The buckle rotates with a spring mechanism so you can flip it to whatever side you want out. There are two small screws holding the base of the buckle to the belt. The screws are about 1/4" long with small threads. I just notice one of the screws almost all the way out. I had to "spin" it a lot to get it back into place. Maybe it spun loose over time, but it was sticking out and I think I would have noticed it. This is when I remembered that this belt had that happen before. The screw was all the way out as far as it was this time. I'd understand if it was a little loose, but it was near the point of falling out, both times.
The belt incidents were pretty far spread.
In between those, about a month ago, my phone antennae popped off. There was a little hole in the back and the screw was missing. I remembered setting my phone down on my desk to charge it for a morning gig, and discovered the screw missing at the gig. When I got home I found the screw on my desk. There used to be a rubber stopper filling the screw hole, but that was gone. The screw is about 1/2" long, small threads and took me a while to screw it in. PLUS, it has a hexagonal slot...not a screw head.
Screws a little loose...understood. Screws coming all the way out while just sitting around? Mystery?
I just put this altogether today...right now.
I'll go backwards. I have a belt that I have worn almost constantly since my last belt broke. It's a dress belt and it is reversable. Brown on one side, black on the other. The buckle rotates with a spring mechanism so you can flip it to whatever side you want out. There are two small screws holding the base of the buckle to the belt. The screws are about 1/4" long with small threads. I just notice one of the screws almost all the way out. I had to "spin" it a lot to get it back into place. Maybe it spun loose over time, but it was sticking out and I think I would have noticed it. This is when I remembered that this belt had that happen before. The screw was all the way out as far as it was this time. I'd understand if it was a little loose, but it was near the point of falling out, both times.
The belt incidents were pretty far spread.
In between those, about a month ago, my phone antennae popped off. There was a little hole in the back and the screw was missing. I remembered setting my phone down on my desk to charge it for a morning gig, and discovered the screw missing at the gig. When I got home I found the screw on my desk. There used to be a rubber stopper filling the screw hole, but that was gone. The screw is about 1/2" long, small threads and took me a while to screw it in. PLUS, it has a hexagonal slot...not a screw head.
Screws a little loose...understood. Screws coming all the way out while just sitting around? Mystery?
Monday, September 05, 2005
Been there...
Everyone else is posting about this so I will too. Ever been to a fancy birthday party? Where everyone goes a little overboard and wears costumes? Maybe all the guests get a gift?
Let me ask you this then, every been to a fancy birthday party where you convert you equestrian compound into a fake airport terminal complete with check in counter, fake security guards, fake flight attendants, fake tourists, fake harekrishnas, and a fake pilot? Only to find out you'll be going from the bar area through a fake front of a plane to an outdoor seated area? Only to find a fake American Idol contest between three friends of the birthday boy? Only to find out the third guest is actually James Taylor (Tailor?) who does a 90 minute concert just for the guests? Only to find that after that you go back and a building had an iron gate on it that says "Wonka", and out comes Willy Wonka (not Johnny Depp)? Only to follow Violet, Veruca and Agustus inside to a colorful candy filled Wonka Land (complete with Oompa Loompa Dancers)?
Well, I have.
I was one of the fake security guards. I got to "x-ray" items from the guests as they came in. 400 rich people altogether in one place. Must be nice.
The fun part was that I had guitar class the following day. The first class of the session. The teacher asked if any of us had seen any live music recently, so I got to say I saw James Tailor (Taylor?)...then she asked where and I had to go into details.
Let me ask you this then, every been to a fancy birthday party where you convert you equestrian compound into a fake airport terminal complete with check in counter, fake security guards, fake flight attendants, fake tourists, fake harekrishnas, and a fake pilot? Only to find out you'll be going from the bar area through a fake front of a plane to an outdoor seated area? Only to find a fake American Idol contest between three friends of the birthday boy? Only to find out the third guest is actually James Taylor (Tailor?) who does a 90 minute concert just for the guests? Only to find that after that you go back and a building had an iron gate on it that says "Wonka", and out comes Willy Wonka (not Johnny Depp)? Only to follow Violet, Veruca and Agustus inside to a colorful candy filled Wonka Land (complete with Oompa Loompa Dancers)?
Well, I have.
I was one of the fake security guards. I got to "x-ray" items from the guests as they came in. 400 rich people altogether in one place. Must be nice.
The fun part was that I had guitar class the following day. The first class of the session. The teacher asked if any of us had seen any live music recently, so I got to say I saw James Tailor (Taylor?)...then she asked where and I had to go into details.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Oh yeah...THIS thing!
Boy...I could have been blogging up a storm last week...if my hotel room had a non-dial-up internet connection.
Folks, I've just come back from my first time ever being in Louisiana. Guess I picked a hell of a week to be there, eh?
I got hired to do a gig from Sunday to Thursday (today) at a Casino down there. That was great! I went down with Tara, Matt, and Alida and we all got our own rooms...we got free food all week at the Casino food court or buffet...and we got to watch the sad tale of Hurricane Katrina.
I'll try and sum things up.
Sunday: We arrive early, go over the rallies we're going to do (5 rallies) and eat. At this point, Hurricane Katrina is off shore and predicted to make landfall the next day (? I can't even remember if it hit on Monday or Tuesday now). We're unsure if it will still go N by NE or got straight N, or worse, head N by NW towards us.
Monday: We are up early for a 9:00am rally. Two more rallies throughout the day. I still can't remember if it hit the coast Monday or Tuesday. It was Monday. The weather out by us is fine. Anytime we are not doing the shows, we are glued to the Weather Channel and CNN. People who heeded the warnings were slowly showing up to stay in the hotel at the Casino.
Tuesday: More gigs, more people showing up, more chaos on the TV.
Wednesday: We teach some classes, there are more people showing up. Usually the luggage they have consists of plastic bags filled with what looks like whatever they could grab in a hurry. Everyone is sort of walking around sharing stories. They are told they can't go back to New Orleans until Monday, and that will only be to grab what they can of their belongings and leave. News of looting and shooting.
Thursday: Early morning workshops and we leave for the airport. I was worried we wouldn't make it out because there was thunder and lightning. We made it. I'm home.
This whole thing is insane. I was in the state, but I wasn't close to it. It's scary. Human survival mode is kicking in and not in a safe way.
Please send good thoughts in whatever way you normally do to Cayne Collier's relatives. I know he was from there and I haven't heard from him whether he knows if they evacuated or not.
Folks, I've just come back from my first time ever being in Louisiana. Guess I picked a hell of a week to be there, eh?
I got hired to do a gig from Sunday to Thursday (today) at a Casino down there. That was great! I went down with Tara, Matt, and Alida and we all got our own rooms...we got free food all week at the Casino food court or buffet...and we got to watch the sad tale of Hurricane Katrina.
I'll try and sum things up.
Sunday: We arrive early, go over the rallies we're going to do (5 rallies) and eat. At this point, Hurricane Katrina is off shore and predicted to make landfall the next day (? I can't even remember if it hit on Monday or Tuesday now). We're unsure if it will still go N by NE or got straight N, or worse, head N by NW towards us.
Monday: We are up early for a 9:00am rally. Two more rallies throughout the day. I still can't remember if it hit the coast Monday or Tuesday. It was Monday. The weather out by us is fine. Anytime we are not doing the shows, we are glued to the Weather Channel and CNN. People who heeded the warnings were slowly showing up to stay in the hotel at the Casino.
Tuesday: More gigs, more people showing up, more chaos on the TV.
Wednesday: We teach some classes, there are more people showing up. Usually the luggage they have consists of plastic bags filled with what looks like whatever they could grab in a hurry. Everyone is sort of walking around sharing stories. They are told they can't go back to New Orleans until Monday, and that will only be to grab what they can of their belongings and leave. News of looting and shooting.
Thursday: Early morning workshops and we leave for the airport. I was worried we wouldn't make it out because there was thunder and lightning. We made it. I'm home.
This whole thing is insane. I was in the state, but I wasn't close to it. It's scary. Human survival mode is kicking in and not in a safe way.
Please send good thoughts in whatever way you normally do to Cayne Collier's relatives. I know he was from there and I haven't heard from him whether he knows if they evacuated or not.
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