I've Fallen, And I Can't Get Up

We've been doing mostly rehearsals now. Today we're in Hilo, which is on the east side of the big island in Hawaii. Once a week the ship does a training drill that is for crew only. Usually there will be an announcement that says the code for a fire in a specific zone. If you are crew and you are not on an emergency team you continue doing whatever you were doing.

Once the mock problem with the ship results in the possible need to abandon ship (and it usually does) they sound the alarm for everyone to go to their muster stations to prepare to get on the life rafts. For us this means going down one floor, grabbing a life jacket, and waiting until the drill is over. I learned a lesson on a prior ship and it still holds true. The Safety Officer came by our station and said "who wants to be in a wheelchair?" I raised my hand and was picked. Now I had a new job. He told me to go to a stairwell and sit down with a sign that said "I need a wheelchair." There was also another crew member in my stairwell with a sign that said "my chest hurts and I'm having trouble breathing."

Each deck and stariwell has an evacuation team...this team had two problems to deal with and did great getting the solutions. Within just a couple minutes four crew with a wheelchair came to get me to my station, and as I was going down I saw the stretcher team come up to get the other "passenger." Apparently Jen and Larrance got to play a mother and child who were separated. So, the lesson learned: play a victim in a drill...it is more exciting.

Other than that, today we went to Ken's Pancake House. Open 24 hours and delicious. We'll probably be back.

Tomorrow is our first show. We're all veterans and I think we could have pulled this show off the first day we got here. The nice thing about being at that level is that we've been really fine tuning and doing intricate work that we might not have had time for if we were greener.

You're Safe With Me

Today was the end, and the beginning! The end of all of our tests and the beginning of our on-site rehearsals.

Yesterday was the big test day. I know I said that other test was the big test, but this was big in that it was very physical. Hands on fire and water safety training.

We had to get into full gear (pants, boots, hood, jacket, helmet, gloves) in less than 90 seconds. From there we split into three groups. Our group went to SCBA training first. Air tanks. We had to hook up the tank  the harness, put our mask on properly, and connect the air line to the mask. Simple enough once we were shown how.

Next we had the search and rescue building. It was completely dark inside. Three people went in with one leading. The followers would keep their left hand on the wall and their right hand on the suspenders of the person in front of them. We had to stay connected and keep following the wall on our left through some low spots, dead ends, and even a ladder to a second story. One guy in our group was ESL so it took a little longer.

The last was practicing putting out a fire with a firehose. There wasn't any fire at this point but the pressure from the hose was real. I was grouped with Larrance and another guy near Larrance's height. So, I was roughly a foot taller than both. This meant I had to hold the hose lower...ouch.

From there we put out actual fires with the hose, another one with extinguishers, and then went to phase two. Water Safety.

There was a lot of jumping in an out of a pool that wasn't too warm. Mostly with life vests. All in all we were exhausted and went to bed around 8:30.

Today was a final set of lectures and a final test.

After all of this I am a little distracted as I just watched a passenger smoking from the conference room I'm in. I expected her to throw the butt overboard (which is BAD) but she one upped it and threw it into the garbage can marked "Paper-Plastic". NOW what do I do? I gotta go.

Head of the Class

Yesterday we were in Kona and I had a Scandanavian shave ice. The current cast has been raving about it. If I were to sum it up I would call it a glorifired snowcone, but that doesn't do it justice. They have a lot of flavors to choose from and a small is the size of your head. I got the pink lemonade/bubble gum and it was delicious. The ice is so smooth it really is a treat. "But Rance, is there anything that ISN'T a treat about it?" The answer is "Yes. The sarcastic comments from people who are obviously on vacation as well." Granted, this think look huge. One lady gave a disgusted "gross!" right as she walked by me. And as I was processing that a couple passed me and sarcastically said (to each other, but as if they were talking to me) "Would you like some more ice cream, sir?" Douche chill.

Today was the big test. And I mean BIG as in "if you miss more than 30% you can take it again next week. If you miss THAT one...goodbye, we can't employee you." So, it is more stressful than anything else. Up to this point I haven't missed any questions on the other tests. Full 100%. This one was 50 questions and there were a few I took guesses on. It was also so serious in that they have 6 separate tests made up of random questions from the material we cover. They made a pretty big deal about someone last week only missing one question. They also said that if someone gets 100% they get rid of the test.

When we all got done and came back for our grades we found out that Jen and I both got 100%. In your face, test.

From here we have one more in classroom test and then saturday we'll be doing actual fire rescue and water survival stuff.

A Different Time. A Different Land

For those who have followed this blog awhile, I may be blogging a little differently this time around. Normally I list the post by day number and date and location. I still might do this as it helps me when I go back to organize photos. This week might just be differnt.

So far things have been splendid. A totally different experience. As I may have stated before this first week is all about training. Since we're no longer on an international ship, the requirements are a little more in depth and serious. I'm a Merchant Marine for starters. Officially. Now we all are working towards an end goal of passing the Coast Guard's fire safety test. So far we have been trained in CPR, First Aid, Personal Safety Social Responsibility, and Crowd Management. Next is the Fire Fighting written test, Personal Safety Training, and Fire and Water safety practicum. THEN we can go back to being funny.

The cool thing about this week has been that we overlap with the previous cast. Some we knew, some we kind of knew, some we knew more than we thought because of their podcasts. Robyn has been a friend of ours the longest and has been working in various locations over the past two years, so it is good to see her for more than a ten-minute run-in in some Chicago theater. Chris I've done a couple random shows with in Chicago...just as soon as he showed up on the Chicago scene it seemed he left for L.A.. Mark we know the least. He was on the Gem right before us last year. Brett we've kind of known around Chicago but got to know better on our first Gem contract. He does the podcast Aphasia Presents Something with the remaining cast members Jeff and Jeannie. They are the ones we feel like we know well because of their twice weekly podcast.

Deanna and I were actually guests on their 54th episode (I think...whatever the latest is). We may be picking up the "podcast from a ship" torch while they're away.

Last night we got to watch their shows. There are only a few differences between their running order and ours so it was fun to see the subtle differences they do in scenes.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to study personal safety equipment.

Time to Chica-GO!

As I type this I am waiting for a final loud of laundry to dry, most of which is towels and such that will stay in our sublet. Everything else but my laptop is packed and ready. We leave early in the morning.

The last of the rehearsing went well. Now we have the change of pace of keeping the show fresh in our minds until our director and producer show up in a week. Normally we go straight to the ship and rehearse until our show goes up, but on our new ship we have to do extra safety training. 40 hours of it. All next week. We're actually excited!

So, in 12 hours we leave. 8 more after that we land. Farewell, Chicago.

First Full Rehearsal

We had our first full rehearsal today. This show is going to be relatively low maintenance because our entire cast have done multiple ships so we're already familiar with a majority of the material.

People have asked if we are having a "going away thing" and I don't know if we are. I feel like on our last ship we weren't sure what we were going to do. So, we didn't know if we'd be back in Chicago long or move to L.A. or N.Y. or something. Well, we're pretty sure we're coming back to Chicago. It is our plan and would take something dramatic to change it. So, we'll be back...but you may not see us until then.

I'm supposed to be looking at lines right now, but I found the movie Say Anything in the DVDs our sublet-ee owns so I'm watching that.

**SPOILER ALERT**
Diane's dad is under investigation for tax fraud...in 1988, kickboxing is the sport of the future.

The Unthinkable...I'm Astounded.

Deanna and I set our minds to packing light this time around. Normally I have a big duffle bag (that can easily blow away a 50 pound limit), a suitcase, my photography suitcase, and my computer bag. And they all go together awkwardly. Usually I would flatten my backpack in a suitcase and my smaller camera bag as well. This time, I'm just using them and leaving my bigger camera bag and my computer bag here. Maybe that is what was taking up all the space.

You might be thinking it is other stuff, but I have all my stuff packed, with room for minor extras like the clothes we'll launder on Friday. This includes: Snorkel gear, DVDs, hair clippers, and Rance's patented plastic bin of Settlers and Uno. Those take up some space...but not as much.

We're guessing it is all shoes and winter clothes.

Tomorrow is our first official meeting with the full cast. And our last official day to go to our storage unit if we need to.

On the bonus side we dibs'd some sweet stuff from the prior cast in exchange for the duty of making sure it gets back to them. A 19" flat screen, a DVD player, and a Wii. So, we have something to do at night I guess.

Side note. In going through all my stuff I stumbled upon a pair of dark amber "Lennon Glasses" that I may actually wear. I don't have any sunglasses currently that aren't broken so they'll have to do until I can find a new pair in Hawaii. They don't make me feel like a hippy, but like a mysterious yet slightly off professor.

Soon to Sail

One day left until our rehearsals. That means tomorrow is packing day for sure. Our storage unit is only open 9-6, which is also the time we rehearse. So, We HAVE to get stuff to storage tomorrow.

As you dedicated followers may have noticed, posts have been slacking a little. That's how it goes on land. HOWEVER...I have not been slacking. I've focused all my energy into promoting myself and getting into standup. Unfortunately I chose to focus myself in this right before leaving for 5 months. But focus I have.

http://www.ranceinthepants.com

Totally different than this blog address.

Check it out from time to time to see photos or videos that are more produced than me snorkeling.

Also, since you're into checking things out, look up Aphasia Presents Something on iTunes in the podcasts. Jeff Griggs, Jeannie Cahill, and Brett Lyons (all on the ship I'm about to be on) have done this twice weekly for some time and even recently celebrated their 50th episode with great fanfare...maybe even a cake! Also, I email them a lot and they read their emails so I feel like I'm a small part of the show. You can hear Jeff quiz Brett and Jeannie, Brett do sound bites, and Jeannie chew gum sometimes!

Deanna and I have lived in this sublet since July and really have not much more with us than we brought on the ship last time...maybe less plus some warm stuff. We're going to really try to pack light this time.

"Rance. What did you do right before typing this post?"

I played my last xbox for 5 months, that's what.

Single tear.

Almost there...

We have our scripts! In 11 days we'll be in Hawaii!

In a week we'll rehearse.

Tomorrow...let the errands begin!

Can You Feel It?

Less than 20 days until we leave. I'd imagine scripts will be coming in a week or so and then the days speed by.

Rance Prepares

It is almost time again, everyone. Soon I'll be back on a ship, sailing for at least 4 months. This time, Hawaii!

Because it is a ship that is only in US waters we have to go through some extra training and actually become Merchant Marines. We've had medical tests, drug tests, got finger-printed, and when we get on the ship we'll have a week of safety training (CPR, First Aid, Fire rescue, etc). So, EXCITING!

I went back and reread some of my entries in July to see if I mentioned the above yet. I noticed that I had said I was looking for my ironing board on one of those days. I JUST found it today. It seemed like a good day for going in and rearranging the entire storage unit so I could actually find the stuff I needed and get the crap we wouldn't need out of the way...like the big chair right in the entry way of the storage unit.

It is also getting colder and our radiator heat finally turned on today. WARMTH!

Rance Remembers: Last Week

Last week was a fun adventure.

On Wednesday I flew out of Midway to Columbus, OH with Tara DeFrancisco and Pat Short to do some corporate training. You need team work training in your company? Let me know.

It was a blast not only doing the training, but hanging with Tara and Pat..AND Kirk from CSz as well who lives near where we were.

At night after the training I was STARVING! We headed to Steak n Shake. I had never eaten there before...I don't know why.

I ordered something that had a long name on the menu but the waitress called it the A-1 Melt. Steakburger patty on buttered sourdough bread with cheese, bacon, and A-1 sauce. It was sooooooo good. After I finished it Pat and Tara still had shakes they were working on. So, I ordered another A-1 melt. Oh man it was good.

On Thursday we flew back to Midway.

On Friday I had to go to Midway to fly to Philadelphia for the Philadelphia Improv Festival. My good friend Rene had asked if I would be interested in going back when I first got off the ships. I'm glad he did it then, 'cause I thought it would be fun and had frequent flier miles to use. Unfortunately Rene had knee surgery and couldn't go, but I got to perform with my good friend and old roommate Zach Ward. There are a couple videos up from the show on Facebook if you know me and go to my page.

It was a good time. I did a few headshots, a few ComedySportz shows, and the show with Zach. A fun time. I still am not a late night hanger outer person. I was up until about 1:00 on the last night and just got tired and went back to the room and slept.

Rance Remembers: A few weeks ago

A few weeks ago...how I remember it.

One thing I can say about working on cruise ships is that the in between time is harder when you know you're going on another one. Coming back from the ships means reestablishing yourself in the community. For me the hardest part is getting the headshot biz up and running again. It is based on word-of-mouth and if you're gone on a ship for 8 months you lose that momentum. So, in the meantime I have been helping out friends and doing other projects.

One of the "helping friends" things that also had a layer of "oh, and it's a job, so you'll get paid." All I was told I had to do was go out haul an anchor when needed. When I got to the harbor I found out that A: the ship I was supposed to haul anchor on was broken and B: I was going on a different ship...with an automated anchor.

This meant I was hired for three days to watch Far 40 Match Racing. What? That's what I thought too on day one. There were four ships competing in the Windy City Match Race. And I was on the signal ship on the Start/Finish line.

Day 1: Practice Rounds
The first day was a half day to practice. Not just practice for the teams sailing but for the people running the race as well.

First, how does it work? This is all according to what I gleaned while on the ship...not all can be trusted as fact, most can be trusted as accurate speculation. A yellow pyramid like buoy is placed near the signal ship (the ship I'm on), and by "near" I mean "about 100 feet away." The line between that buoy and the two orange flags on the front of our ship is the start/finish line. About 300-400 meters away from the start line is a white buoy that marks the turn around point. So, from the start the ship must go down to that far white buoy, go around it, and come back. BUT! There is ANOTHER white buoy up by the start line. They have to go around that too and then go all the way back down to the far white buoy again. Then cross the finish line. So, two laps. There are also a couple extra buoys. A red and a green. The goal seems to be to get the line from the far buoys to the finish line to match the wind direction. So, if the wind seems to be shifting a little there is a signal before the race that lets the teams know to go around the green buoy or red buoy instead of the white. If the wind shifts big time the whole course shifts to match before continuing racing. Please see the diagram.


It was pretty calm on this practice day. As I got to the job I remember thinking about cruising and wondering if my sea legs were still with me. No problems.

Day 2: Actual Racing
The second day was an actual racing day. Also, much more wind and choppiness. I thought for sure I would puke today.

There were four boats competing: Spaceman Spiff, Convexity, Flash Gordon, and Heart Breaker. Today was when I found out the exciting stuff. For me, the race isn't as exciting as the beginning of the race. On my boat there were about 6 people with various tasks. Every race started with 10 minutes worth of lead-in signaling via horns and flags (I was in charge of the "two" flag). At about 4 minutes to the actual start the two ships about to race would begin maneuvering around each other trying to draw penalties. From what I could gather a penalty happened if any ship broke any shipping laws. If you got a penalty you had to do a full 360 with your boat, after the start of the race, to get rid of the penalty.

A few times the tactical sailing worked well and a ship couldn't make it across the starting line without turning around. One time a ship was forced on the wrong side of the starting line and they had to get back across, turn around and start costing them valuable time.

In the high winds today one sail line broke and sent the ship's sail to the wind. A lot of leaning happened. Fun stuff.

And I didn't puke.

Day 3: Calmer winds
Final day for racing. The wind was much calmer. This mean more dangerous pre-start maneuvering. One of the ships liked the tactic of heading straight for our signal ship and turning at the last minute, missing our ship by inches.

All in all I learned about a new thing to me. Also, Match Racing is two ships at a time. Fleet racing is all ships at once and is less cat and mouse because you have to think about ALL the ships.

Here is video coverage:

2009 Windy City Match Race from Matt Gallagher on Vimeo.

Sunshine and Weddings

This stump is what is left of a large tree that used to be right outside the window of the place we sublet. It actually used to give great shade to the apartment and I remember distinctly the day after cutting it down that it was bright and hot in the living room.

But we haven't really notice because we just spent the weekend in west New York state at a fantastic wedding.

I'm not that into weddings, but I go to see friends if the wedding is in the area. Most of the time I can't really afford to go if it is a "fly to" wedding anyway. This one was about 640 miles away and Deanna and I decided to drive it. 10.5 hours according to Google maps. And we coordinated with three other friends for a place to stay. We all rented a house on one of the finger lakes (I think it is Canandaigua, but it is tough to spell and say).

Jon and Leah are now married. They are possibly two of the nicest people we know and it is great they are married.

As a random side note, when we came back home, this was in our neighbor's window.

8/30/09: Filler, Shriller, Chiller

Very soon I'll be taking a stand-up class. It starts next week and ends right before we leave, so the timing is perfect. In my head I've been meaning to get into stand-up for awhile. The thing that appeals to me about it in difference to improv is that if something isn't going well or the audience isn't reacting as expected...well, it is just me up there, so I can change it. If it is a successful change, I win. If not, I can only blame myself.

In other news, we've gone from the coldest July in Chicago on record to possibly the coldest August in Chicago on record. It is 57 right now and should get to the mid-60s. The nice thing about this is we can close our windows at night.

In this apartment, with our windows open, sounds always happen early morning. It seems like garbage men come daily to pick up trash. Birds have nice trees to chirp in. And dogs find stuff to bark at. All right by our apartment.

With our windows closed they are not giving up. Now we have saws cutting through cement in the back parking lot, and today I was awoken to the sound of a crazed dog and a woman screaming...in the back parking lot. I am no dog expert, but if these people would actually walk their dogs instead of letting them out into the gated parking lot they might be less stressed. It was very surreal and I was only half sure I heard it, but once it woke me up I also heard a guy say "are you okay?"

Sounds. I guess I don't always like sounds.

8/1/09: Beep Beep Beep

First off, I had a great first two official ComedySportz shows back in Chicago. Thanks to the people I played with. Fun times.

The mere mention of it is to set the scene for the story. I got home around 10:30pm. Our sublet apartment has been pretty infamous for being in the center of where random sounds happen. I never really get real sleep once 5:00am hits. Birds, neighbors with loud stereos, car alarms going off, etc. But last night the sounds were going already.

Beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep.

All of our windows were open so it was easy to hear. It sounded like it was coming from the building across the alley. I let it go until about 12:40 when I was ready to head to bed.

I shut just the bedroom window, but the sound permeated in through the other windows in our place. As I was shutting windows I saw a guy from the apartments across the alley out looking around for the sound.

As I got back into the bedroom I heard him saying something. "I think it is coming from your building!" I opened the window to say "up here it sounds like it is coming from your building." Well, the mystery was elevated.

I headed down to the alley and sure enough, the sound was coming from inside of our dumpster.

The landlord has been dry-walling and painting the entry way to the building and had just finished. Apparently. There were paint cans and random construction debris in the dumpster, as well as tenants' garbage, and a beep.

The beep was so loud that it was hard to tell if it was in a bag or in the dumpster so I would take a bag out and then listen. The guy from the other apartment started helping.

He found a smoke detector and took the battery out. Mystery solved.

I told him we were the heroes of the neighborhood and we went our separate ways.

The end.

7/31/09: Chicago, IL

Getting back to life. Here is a brief rundown of what I have been doing since I got to Chicago.

Task 1: Check on our car that was in storage
When a car sits for 8 months with the battery still connected it probably needs some work. I knew this going in. I had planned on getting the car towed to a shop and having a oil change, fluid check...basic full car check up.

I had a picture of the car in my mind with spider webs, flat tires, and a layer of dust. What I DIDN'T picture was the mold that had grown. It wasn't everywhere...just where people had touched. The steering wheel looked like it had algae hanging off of it. The shifter and arm rest were gross. It was so bad that the auto shop wouldn't work on it until it was cleaned out...and they didn't tell me this until late the day after I had dropped it off. If they had told me in the morning I could have easily gone down and cleaned it. But I found out around the same time I was heading to our storage unit to get some stuff.

I cleaned it, but it was gross. When they looked at it they said we needed new brakes and tires...which was true. All in all they charged us $1400 and said we should really get it detailed to get the mold out of the carpet and vents.

So, I took it to a detail place and that was another $210. But NOW we have a shiny car!

Task 2: Find our sublet
We subletted an apartment while we're in between ships. It is farther north than where we were by just a little bit, but much farther north than where are car was. From here I rode the Red Line train or the 36 bus wayyyyy more times a day than I cared for just going to storage or mechanics or whatever.

Task 3: Storage
I am still trying to find our ironing board and iron, but I found the xbox!

That ends the tasks. The rest of the time has been spent seeing friends and playing xbox.

Now you're all caught up!

Oh...and if you need headshots...

7/18/09: Portland, OR

We've gone from Europe, to Alaska, to Portland, OR. Operation: Family and Friends is nearing a close. Operation: Headshots, Shows, and Xbox is about to begin.

We stayed our first two nights with Deanna's friend Linda. It is out in Washougal, which isn't necessarily near anyone we know, but it didn't matter. Hanging with Linda's family is always a blast. Her two kids are the best (you can see them in the Kids section of www.rancerizzutto.com), even when they're fighting over who owes who $8.

It was a great time of hanging out and all of Deanna's main childhood/high school friends either saw Deanna during the day or came over that night.

Yesterday we came and checked into a hotel downtown and had dinner with Jeremy and Carrie. They've traveled around a lot and it was nice to hang with them and chat about Greece and Carrie's supposed diseases.

Tonight we're doing a show at the Brody Theater at 10:30pm. So, if you live in Portland and read this and it is the 18th...go to our show!

The rest of my time here will be headshots, catching up with friends, and trying to get the cheapest price on my luggage on the flight home to Chicago!

This may be the last post for awhile...chances are it will pick up again in November. Wink!

7/15/09: Alaska Recap

Today I'm actually in Washougal, WA. BUT...we have been in Alaska since the 8th.

You'll have to check the photos on Flickr, and I'll put an actual link here...when the photos are up.

Alaska was a swarm of delicious home cooked meals, various wildlife (bald eagles, moose, etc.), and Palin supporters.

Deanna's favorite part was probably Al and Evie's dog, Chichi. A chihuahua, but the breed that looks more greyhoundish. A good dog. Deanna probably liked that the best because she has been itching for a dog and I have wanted nothing to do with that. Now at least I can imagine having one.

7/8/09: Land addendum: the air addendum

This day is all travel. Literally.

We woke early around 7:30am in Barcelona we probably could have gotten up closer to 9:00, but we had an 11:20 international flight, and our apartment was on a street that we weren’t sure taxis would frequent. We had no problem getting a taxi however. Deanna and I and our 8 bags headed off to the airport!

At the gate we were told which line to get in and then…waited…for a long time. There was a “guy in a hat” (read that like it is said with disdain) that was taking FOREVER in line and had that look of outrage on his face that comes from misinformation. Meaning, we read about the $50 per second bag charge, and the excess fees for heavy bags…he probably didn’t. So, instead of realizing that and paying, he made a stink about it while everyone in line behind him waited. There was also a group of teens wearing these blue “Education First” t-shirts. There were about 5 not too far in front of us, but more…the late ones…kept showing up with their parents and just would cut into the line with the rest of the group. Boo, I say…boo!

Luckily I was trying to be in good spirits because we had a long day ahead of us. Starting with the 8.5 hour flight to NYC. Luckily our flight had individual screens and a menu you could choose from. This made the flight pass by much quicker. I watched: Taken; I Love You, Man; Sunshine Cleaners; Monsters vs Aliens; and part of Dragonball…and maybe one other movie I’m forgetting. I just kept watching movies so I could spare the batteries on my laptop and iPod for the other flights. Piece of cake.

Customs and all that in NYC was actually a breeze. We went through, headed to the gate for our flight to Salt Lake. For that 5 hour flight…I had a middle seat. I have a slightly bad knee that I just need to straighten out and pop time to time. Hard to do in the middle. But, I made it through. I watched: the rest of Dragonball; 12 Rounds; part of Duplicity.

Keep in mind I hadn’t slept on either of these flights. By the time we arrived in Salt Lake it was 4:00am in Barcelona. I was tired. I had planned on sleeping on the final flight. We flew from Salt Lake to Anchorage Alaska to spend time with Deanna’s dad and step-mom. I had an aisle seat for this 4.5 hour flight, but I could NOT get comfortable. I think I fell asleep for 15-30 minutes before I woke up to the lady in front of me getting out her suitcase right over my head and I couldn’t fall back asleep after that. I was pretty done with traveling at this point. I just wanted to SLEEP!

After 23 hours of travel we arrived. I don’t need to get on a plane again for awhile…but I still will be going to Portland and then home to Chicago. So, a couple more Land Addendums to come.