Day 47

Sea Day. A.K.A. Zzz Day. So…New Year’s Eve. Happy Birthday Jeremy! Today started with a breakfast, a plan, “a nickel and a wish”*. We were going to have dinner with Sveta at 8:30. This would be after our VIP party chat and after the Band on the Run show that Sveta would be seeing. The first sea day is usually sea food/lobster in all the restaurants in one form or another. Sveta loves her some lobster. Last time we went to Tsar’s Palace and we were going to go there again. They didn’t take a reservation from us…they said to just show up. It was packed because of NYE. We weren’t to upset because we also found out it wasn’t sea food night. Oh well.

We then watched Band on the Run, but from further back. Normally we sit in the front or up in the closest balcony booth. I caught two of the JARs looking up into the booth expecting to see us. Keeva saw us later on, so our presence didn’t go undetected. We met with them up on the pool deck for the countdown. So, there will be a lot of pics of JARs on the flickr come Friday.

On a totally separate note, they switched up the movies that cycle on the movie channels a couple cruises ago. For the worse, I think. A lot of sappy romance right now. No Reservations is the one that pops in my head because it is on right now. My other option is some Richard Gere/Winona Ryder flick…August in New York or something like that. Other crap includes The Invisible, High School Musical 2, and more. One movie that has grown on me is Hot Rod with Andy Samberg (burg?) from SNL. Seeing it in pieces made it go from terrible to funny. There are a lot of little cheesy moments in it that make me laugh more than they probably should. I recommend renting it and watching it three times for full effect.

*David Cross

Day 46 Pt. 2

Miami. Another lazy catch up day. I bought some shirts today…that is the exciting thing. We, as a cast, barely saw each other today. We saw Jen and Larrance at the end of the day and felt like we hadn’t seen them forever.

That’s pretty much it. Take a breather from reading, everyone.

Day 46 Pt 1

Happy Birthday Seana!

This last 9-day felt extra long. It is nice to get out in Miami and do a little shopping. More later. I have updated my photos and will try to get some more videos online while I'm here at the hotel.

Day 45

Sea Day. I can feel everyone’s cold trying to take me…I’m fightin’. Today I relaxed to try to build energy and keep away from people. Deanna has been photo happy lately. She is easily the most recognized in our ensemble. For whatever reason everyone in the world thinks she look familiar…be it from a movie, childhood friend, relative, neighbor…whatever. She wanted to go out taking pictures of old people sleeping. I told her she was on her own. It is too hard to be inconspicuous when everyone recognizes her instantly. She asked for some technique pointers…I’m very sneaky when I take some of my photos. We crossed paths at one point, and someone said “great show last night” so I ditched her. 

Since I was still feeling like I could get hit by the cold I went to work out. Sweating felt like it purged some germs. I then showered, ate, went to a show and then watched Deanna eat. This was at about 8pm. The whole time she was eating I felt exhausted. Just as we were leaving the buffet we saw pretty much everybody fun on the ship coming in for dinner. Deanna went back to hang out with them. I went back to the room. Shrek was on TNT. I turned on the TV, lied down, and almost immediately fell asleep. Around 9:15 I woke up and decided that if I was going to sleep I may as well get ready for bed and sleep for real. As soon as I got in bed I couldn’t sleep.

Deanna came back around 10:30 with lots of little tid bits. The biggest one being that the Quest…that crazy game show I keep talking about? Yeah…it is now PG because some cast (not Second City, but other entertainment) played it on another ship and had some crew on their team. This apparently ruined things for all the NCL ships as far as the Quest is concerned. I don’t feel bad for missing it tonight at least.

Today I calculated that there are 115 days in our contract on the ship.

Day 44

Sea Day. Sea days on holiday cruises are a subtle game of hide and don’t seek. Last night before going to bed I watched my DVD of Bourne Ultimatum. Today I woke up and watched Bourne Ultimatum on one of the ship’s movie channels. I also managed to get some choice pics of “the passenger element”…go to flickr and check it out.

It was pretty easy going today up until night time. We had two improv shows and headed down to the Fyzz lounge. That place was happenin’. A lot of the JARs were down there and Deanna and I were pretty sure that was why it was so packed…it just had the air of “place to hang out” because of them. We had a lot of people come chat with us. My favorite thing was a kid who was 12 or 13 dancing with a girl. He had one move and that was it, but he was the most confident kid. I got him on video and may get it up on youtube.

The teens are getting more and more restless. 5 day cruises are for teens. Keep that in mind if you’re bringing teens on a ship…7 days max.

Day 43

Castries, St. Lucia. I did not feel like getting off the ship today. There has been a cold that everyone but Larrance and I seem to have been plagued with. Well…I feel like I’m starting to get it. However…this is the last port before two days of sea and nothing but. Andy, Deanna and I decided to head in. We had been to Reduit. We had been to Pigeon Point. There is a bartender on the ship named Michael…he is from St. Lucia. We saw him on our way out from breakfast and asked where a good beach was that was close…he pointed out the window. Bagshaw was the destination.

We got there and it was a little beach connected to a Sandals resort. We thought they might kick us out, but they were fine. The waves were the biggest we have dealt with. The water would pull you out just as a wave would form. I ran away from one wave and turned around to see Deanna lifted in the air and Andy knocked on his butt. Fun times!

There are these things called Neti Pots…you fill them with salt water and poor it directly into your sinuses through your nose. We get hit by Neti pot waves every so often. I was actually hoping for one today because of the oncoming cold and I lucked out and got one.

In other events, there is a phenomenon on the ship with the teens. They travel in packs and usually sit on the stairs. Of all the places to go hang out, they pick stairs. There are tons of places with tables and chairs…they pick stairs.

Deanna and I had a late night meal and a couple said hi and said they liked the show. Deanna asked them what their favorite port was and they said Samana. We were both stunned and excited to hear what they did. You may remember that Samana is a pretty poor town and kind of sad. So here was an opportunity to find out what was so great about it. I asked, “What did you do?” He said, “We went and rode on the ATVs. It is such a poor town that it really hit home with me how truly fortunate I am to be living the life I am.” It wasn’t the cool port, it was the life reflection port. This guy seemed very wise for a guy in his 20s…hell, for a guy in his 50s.

The sea days are a-comin’.

Day 42

Barbados. It is a show night so I didn’t go into town. We were all a little tired after doing a crew show at midnight the night before. I don’t think I went to bed until 3:30 or so. So…we stayed on the ship. I’m really stretching to remember things. I forgot to write at the end of the day.

Deanna went up to deck 14 outside and sunbathed…or “sun baked” as the Aussies call it.

She got back to the room around 2:30 or so and fell asleep. We had a 4:30 rehearsal. I was watching Casino Royale extras and really started to crash. I set my alarm…barely…and was out.

We rehearsed, we did shows. The first one was my particular favorite this time around. Tomorrow we teach a workshop.

Pretty easy.

Day 41

St. John’s, Antigua. Merry Christmas Everybody! Today was filled with many splendors and glories. Late last night Deanna and I exchanged presents and it was a ship-bound success! She got me DVDs and a man-bracelet (Kenneth Cole…look for it on my right arm in future pics). What DVDs? Well, let me start off by saying I’m not the easiest person to buy gifts for. For the past few years I haven’t liked having “stuff”…anything that added to the clutter of stuff we already had was more than what we needed. Especially if it is something just bought out of feeling like a gift needs to be bought. So…that being said…I think I told everyone (because we had a secret santa pre-meeting where we all answered questions about what we wanted) that I wanted Borne Ultimatum on DVD and man-jewelry. Deanna got me those, plus Casino Royale (007) and Band of Brothers (HBO series on DVD). I’ve never seen Casino Royale (until now) or Band of Brothers, but they were excellent guesses on her part. Casino Royale had me at the opening credits graphics…plus they went to Atlantis Casion in Nassau which is where we went on our first cruise of this contract. So all that was good.

As we headed off the ship to see what was up in St. John’s there were people already coming back on saying “town’s closed.” Some with a little bit of anger in their voices…well, what stays open in your town? Movie theater…right? All the duty free stuff was open, so there was that. I had one goal…get to the internet café. I hadn’t been there but the speed was rumored to be fast. As Deanna and I walked toward it and saw all the closed shops I said “well, if it is closed they may have left the signal on.” It was an open-air bar and…yes…they left the wireless on. Deanna and I were the only ones there…then Sascha showed up…then Andy…then Roman and Sveta…then Jen and Larrance. That was it. All us. Oh, and one guy who was just there to watch over the place. I plan to buy that guy a drink in two weeks when we’re back.

Tonight we also had our crew show. It started with a dance by 8 of the JARs…a super sexy dance. Then we did a 40 minute set with a few things from our main show and some other things that probably wouldn’t fly with passengers. We had a really good turn out and they were very appreciative. I got to enter a scene bare-chested as the Lord of the Dance and that was a big hit. I also was the voice of the captain on the intercom at one point. The captain was in the audience an we were a little worried, but we heard he loved it.

The show started at midnight so that more crew could be available to see it. After that we went to “the Goon” to eat. Keelan and Charolette (magician and assistant…they do some great illusions and some great quick-change) joined us, which was nice. Roman and Sveta showed up right around 2:45am as well. Our meals have gotten into the habit of starting as a table of four and growing quickly to 8-10 people. Six of us, then usually Roman and Sveta, and now sometimes Mossimo and Allisia and Sascha. These people are great. This job is like summer camp for adults.

UPDATED LINKS

If you look over to the right there you will see links to all the posts. Below that is "Non-Blog" links. I've added links to my youtube, flickr, and Second City's NCL page.

Check 'em out!

Day 40

Road Town, Tortola. Christmas Eve. Yes…Christmas Eve. We did what anyone would do on Christmas Eve…head to the beach! We went back to the beach we were on when I first tried snorkeling. I did much better, but that didn’t change the snorkeling. There were a lot of Pelicans diving into the water…why? Because there were THOUSANDS of little tiny fish swimming around. They were an inch to two inches long and they were everywhere. When I first headed out I didn’t se anything but them. The water was also cloudy with sand because there are some decent waves on that beach. And the first thing I saw that wasn’t little fish? A Stingray. Now, the mask adds 25% magnification so this stingray in actuality was probably 2-2.5 wide and 4 feet long including tail. Still a decent sized ray. My camera wasn’t on and by the time I turned it on, gone. I saw it again later and took a picture with flash. The flash reflected off all the soot in the water and I got nothin’. I never saw it again. I DID see some angel fish and got some pics of them. So, fairly good snorkeling day, but lackluster because of the photo conditions.

After snorkeling I got out to try and ride some waves…just body surfing. Deanna, Jen, Larrance and I were out there. A huge series of waves came out of nowhere. I rode the first one and got rolled by the next three. I got rolled a lot by these. Larrance would body surf and then disappear, only to reappear lying on shore as the wave went back into the ocean. The ocean is also a little perverted in that it kept taking the tops of Jen and Deanna.

Our cab driver was meeting us at 3:30. We went in to get some food at a little food shack right there on the beach. You know how some people just seem to be blessed with something odd? Like maybe one person always has butterflies land on their head. Or maybe you’re a person who finds money on the beach out of the blue. Well, I’m discovering my gift is to open unlocked doors (with working locks) to find old men pooping inside. Yep. It happened again at the food place. They have one bathroom with no stall. The clincher here? The door to the bathroom wasn’t even shut all the way. Just opened a crack (no pun intended for “clincher” or “crack”).

OLD MEN! LOCK DOORS IN BATHROOMS! The next time it happens I hope to do the following:
1) take a picture
2) point out the door
3) do a tutorial on the wonders of locking mechanisms
4) inform them that they have inspired a new website called stupid-poopers and they will be seen there.

Later at night some of us went to the Christmas sing-a-long. It was…odd. The pianist is Russian and learned the songs this week. They had a song book with words to the songs…kind of. Twelve Days of Christmas had 2 turle doves, 3 french horns, and 4 turtle doves. Someone called out the number for Hark, The Herald Angels Sing and he started playing Gloria…people sang the song for a couple lines before realizing it was the wrong song..

After that we had our Secretest of Santas gift exchange. Everyone won.

Tomorrow is Christmas!

Day 39

Samana. We didn’t even get off the ship today. Major highlights were a 3:00 rehearsal for the upcoming crew show, seeing a huge shooting star, and playing Settlers of Catan (Cities and Knights add on).

People wanted snacks for playing the game. I bought four different types of Pringles from the crew store. I feel like I might puke right now. They have a pizza flavor that tastes really good, but makes me sick. I probably eat them once a year because it takes me a year to forget how gross they make me feel.

Deanna was hilarious in the game. She was bored from the get-go. Check out the pics for 12/23 on flickr when I get them up…there are a few of her in different states of boredom.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve…we’re going to the beach.

Day 38

Sea Day. And pretty relaxed at that. We’re on a 9-day cruise and don’t have our normal show until Wednesday. Usually this means we’re anonymous all that time, but there are some people doing the 14-day cruise who were with us on the last 5 day as part of that. Like Alice, who is very nice and loves us. She says hi whenever she sees us. And a couple that has been married for 42 years. We recognized them because they played in the Newlywed/Not-So-Newlywed game on the last cruise, and that shows up on channel 30. They were hilarious. We got to chat with them at the VIP party tonight.

Who else did we get to chat with? A very interesting couple from England who ghost wrote a book for a spiritual medium. I believe it was called Host of Voices. They were great. The guy actually followed the medium around for months and kept a careful eye on her. He said some “mediums” would research the obituaries in a town they were visiting, but she never did. He understood how she did most of it and said he could probably pull it off. But…”there is 5% of it that was impossible. I didn’t understand it. It was only 5%, but it was a scary 5% and that was enough for me.”

In other news, we will be doing a crew show this week…Christmas night. This is a late night show just for crew members. This (I’ve been told) is a good thing to do early on in the cruise because it lets crew who normally have to work during our real show know who we are, and it usually involves free beer. It is a mostly different show with a lot of blackouts. It should be a blast.

Day 37

Miami, FL. Rough morning. We got up at 7:30 to get off the ship early. That’s 6:30 to you Chicago folk, and 4:30 to Oregonians. It is a necessity to get breakfast on these days. Unfortunately the same goes for everyone else. Buffet nightmare. The phenomenon I call the “buffet shuffle” was in full effect. This is when people are constantly in a state of almost making up their mind. It results in a lot of starts, stops, turns and barely any looking for who is around you. The more kids in the equation for this dance of death, the worse.

I got oatmeal and yogurt and made a bee line for a table. Worse yet is that people are in travel mode, so they might have luggage with them, or strollers, or other things they might want to carry and stop mid-walkway with.

Around 8:30 we made it. We started our journey off the ship with the memory of getting screwed in the customs line. Last time there were four lines…two of these lines went to one agent each and the other two went to two agents each. We were in a “one agent” line and it took forever. This time I was looking for the best line. Andy was already in line three and held up a single finger. No, he wasn’t flipping us off, he was letting us know #1 was the fast lane.

We got through and headed to town. Christmas cards are out! If you don’t get a card it is either on the way or we don’t have your address. There are a couple of cards here with “near-addresses” on them…yours will be late or never get to you. Maybe you are someone we hate (probably not)…you can pretend you are in the “near-address” pile and then feel instantly loved by us on these holidays.

Last Sunday was the Johnny Roast Beef xmas party. They hinted that they may have called and left a voice message or two. Thirty-three…that was the number of messages I had. To be fair, two were from my dad. If you get a chance, go see Johnny Roast Beef on Wednesdays at iO.

While getting things done (blog, flickr, youtube vids…more on that later) at the hotel…HOLD ON! As I’m typing this I’m watching the Strongman Competition on ESPN and there is a competitor from Norway named Odd Haugen. Anyway…I was at the hotel. There was a family there. Dad (steven), 13-ish year old son (Jason), and mom. Why do I know their names except mom? The kid was tired but didn’t want to fall asleep in the lobby. So he was walking around. “What are you doing, Jason?!” He didn’t want to sleep. He went to sit on a suitcase so he wouldn’t be comfortable and thus not fall asleep. “Don’t sit on the suitcase, Jason!” He wanted to know what time they were going to leave to go get on their cruise. “If we leave now we’ll just be waiting there in a line.” Mom suggests “Read your book.” “I’ve already read 6 chapters since we’ve left.” “Just read your book!” He didn’t feel like it. Later he grabs a book. I think, good he is going to read and shut his mom up. “What are you doing Jason? Read your required reading! If you’re going to read, just read your required reading! Steven. Steven! Tell him he needs to read his required reading!” Did I mention Steven and Jason both had minor colds? Just enough to be stuffy and coughing the whole time. Did I also mention that Steven was sitting in a chair 4 feet to my left and mom was sitting in a chair 4 feet to my right? Jason would pace back and forth between them…right in front of me. I called Jen in the middle of another mom bitch-out and said “The cruise is over.” I hope these people aren’t on our ship. They’ll never make it.

Tonight there is a new comedian on the ship. We’re going to check him out.

(later that evening)

Crap. Well, first…the comedian (David Naster) was pretty good. The act was billed as family-friendly, and he did a good job of just skirting the line sometimes. The other thing I liked was that he rolled with it. By this I mean he had a good enough amount of material in his brain that he could take his act with the crowd instead of hoping they stayed with him. Well done. However, in the first few moments before the show started Jen pops up by me and says “you’ll never guess who I just saw in the crowd!” I had no idea. Turns out it was Jason and mom. They’re on our ship. Glad I didn’t chance the hope that they wouldn’t be and say something stupid in the hotel.

Day 36

Really? Five days until Christmas? Yikes.

This morning was a morning that made me appreciate old people. Why? I went up to get breakfast around 10:15 (buffet closes at 10:30) and I couldn’t find a table…I ALWAYS find a table. We always find the SAME table in the back…always. Not today. Deanna had gone up 5 minutes before me and was nowhere to be found. I was walking around with a bowl of oatmeal and finally sat down at a table that had empty plates still on it. Finished my oatmeal and yogurt and walked around a little more. Didn’t see Deanna or anyone else, so I went back to my room to wait it out until 10:55 (way-back buffet closes at 11:00am). Everyone but Mike was at the usual table. So…why do I appreciate old people? They go to bed around 9:00pm and wake up at something like 4:00am to eat breakfast. Thus leaving it clear for us 10:00am-ers.

We were probably at breakfast chatting until noon. Decided to leave and ran into Chris and JP from JARs about to eat lunch. It’s called the two hour breakfast. Finally we headed to our room. On the way down the stairs we heard a thud above us and then a woman saying “Are you ok? Someone call 911!” An old guy fell over. Deanna and I rushed up and then scrambled to find a house phone. Luckily one of the staff with a phone showed up and took over. The guy was responsive and said “I felt lightheaded” but didn’t make an effort to get up. We then heard “Code Alpha. 10. Midship.” That is the medical emergeny code…Bravo is fire.

At 1:30 we had another hacky sack meeting and then it was pretty easy going until The Quest at 10:45. I have some photos of the final quest where a couple from each team has to change outfits on the stage. They get to change in the dark, but they don’t know what the challenge is until one man and one woman get to the stage from each team. Usually it is a huge guy and a tiny lady. The lady’s clothes are usually 2-3 sizes bigger by the end.

Day 35

George Town, Grand Cayman. Holy crap! We did it! We got of the ship and went snorkeling! We found a nice quiet beach that is small, but perfect for snorkeling. I took my camera and pics will be up on flickr.com soon. Saw some new fish…I have no idea what they were. I also did a head on collision with another snorkeler. It was by far my grandest swim. I saw Andy at one point and he directed me over to a cool area. When I popped my head out of the water I was far away. There was a rumor of an eel somewhere but I never saw it.

I was in charge of the line ups for the improv/scriptless shows this week. I tried to put people in places where I knew they were strong and play games that we kicked butt at. I think both shows were a big hit. We had a huge turn out for the late show. The Cruise Director has been pushing our shows as the 8:45 Second City Scriptless show and the 10:45 as Second City Unplugged: Adults Only. We don’t get super dirty in that we try to stay away from swearing, but Deanna and Jen are pros at innuendo.

Day 34: pt 2

Cozumel, part two. Well, we rehearsed and headed into our two shows. One of the blackouts (quick scene that ends with the lights going out right after the “punch line” or “blow” as we call it) didn’t hit as well with this crowd…they are a much younger crowd because of college break and the Christmas holiday. It doesn’t hit as hard because you would need to have grown children to really understand it. It still hits, but not as hard.

We cut one of the sketches this week. We had been running at around 55 minutes when we should have been running around 50 max. So…a sketch got cut. I think the show runs a lot smoother now. However, we were surprised to find they were squeezing the crew show (sort of a talent show where crew members perform) in between our two shows. Normally the 9:30 show is our best attended and it was by far our least attended for the entirety thus far.

There were JARs watching in both shows. I feel like we’ve really lucked out in that our cast gets a long, their cast gets along, and they both get along with each other. From what I’ve heard, that isn’t always the case.

Tomorrow we go snorkeling…right? So far that is not always the case.

Day 34: Pt 1.5

PS. I just put a bunch of photos up on my Daily Photo blog (link over there to the right...see?). Through 12/3. As always you can view all the photos at flickr.com.

Day 34: Pt 1

Cozumel, part one. Hey! Guess what! We didn’t go snorkeling. It was cloudy and a chilly 76 degrees. Plus, we have to be back for a 3:00 rehearsal. We heard of a coffee shop with internet access and we are now here. Originally my idea was to come here, check email, and then catch up on Survivor, Kid Nation, Heroes, or Last Man Standing. Apparently American TV stations hate Mexico. I can’t get any of the shows to stream. I COULD download episodes on iTunes for $2 each, but I’ll wait and see what happens in other ports. Antigua is supposed to have fast internet.

Day 33

Sea Day. Well…here is my normal routine for blogs. I let the day happen, I blog before I go to bed. Technically it is the next day right now, so I’ll try to remember what happened.

No dice.

I know I must have done something…I think I wrapped presents. I know I took a nap accidentally.

We went to the VIP party at 7:00, dinner at 8:30 with Svetlana. That’s something. We found out that Roman and Svetlana were on the Star with Piero, Mike, Jet, and all them. So that was a fun little connection. We finished dinner just in time to catch Band on the Run from the front row, house left. Always fun. They make faces at us when they can.

From there we went to check out the 70’s party and then down to the crew bar. None of the dancers showed up. We left and walked by The Blue Lagoon (restaurant) and they were all there eating. We went to bed.

If I actually wrote this at the end of the day I would say “Tomorrow we are going to go snorkeling in Cozumel!” Let’s see if I’m right! (remember…this is actually tomorrow)

Day 32

Miami, Fl. What? It was cloudy and rainy today. We went into town and tried to find stamps for our Christmas cards. Walgreens didn’t have them and said “they’ll have some at the Walgreens three blocks down the street.” So we went. On the way there a one-armed man said “can you spare some change for food?” I said, “Sorry.” To which he angrily said, “If you’re sorry, why don’t you help me get some food!” That’s a pretty good tactic to get someone to help you…right?

We made it to the other Walgreens and they were out of stamps also. They ALSO recommended an even bigger walgreens to go to. We didn’t. I headed back to stop by Starbucks and then holiday inn. I kind of hoped I would cross paths with the beggar again. A lot of scenarios passed through my head. Would he ask me for food again? If so, what would I do? Crap on the sidewalk and offer him that? Say “follow me”, have him watch me order lunch and also watch me walk off with my lunch? Take a $20 and throw it down a sewer drain? This guy may have been in need, but he was an asshole.

Anyway…I did some work, some shopping, and then got back on. Called my dad and answered some questions about their upcoming cruise. They will be on at the same time as Deanna’s mom. We got things settled for her today as well. They will all be on the same flights to and from the cruise.

Tonight was casual. We went to check out another performer we haven’t seen. A musician. At the beginning of the shows a generic announcement plays with info like no cell phones and what-not. Someone took a picture of the peacock curtain on the stage…their flash went off less than a second before the “no flash photography is allowed” part and all of us SC people cracked up.

More photos are online…flickr.com, search for “Rance Rizzutto Photography”. If everyone who reads this has looked at the pics, then I know 4 people read this. Thanks you 4.