Day 63

George Town, Grand Cayman. Adventures a plenty, dear reader. Today we stuck to our plan. Deanna and I woke up a little early…not much, but we had also turned our clocks ahead one hour, so more than it seemed. Deanna went to get tickets for the tender boats. This is a first for us. If you want to get off the ship at the start you need to go get a ticket. They then start calling blocks of numbers. After a while they open it up for anyone…that is what we usually do. But not today. We met Keelan and Charlotte for breakfast, grabbed our stuff, and headed out. The tender boat was pretty full…this is a good thing. The fuller the boat the sooner it leaves…remember this.

Charlotte had gone online and found Moby Dick Stingray City and Snorkel tour. We were to meet at the pier and leave at 11:45. We got there at 11:00. Keelan and Charlotte hadn’t gone snorkeling before and weren’t strong swimmers, but they were up for it. We walked around town looking for snorkel gear but only found jewelry, watches, and t-shirts.

We got on the boat and headed out. The sun was out pretty much until the moment we set foot on the boat. There was a big grey cloud blocking the sun for most the time. This was problematic on the trip out because we were getting hit by spray from the boat hitting waves. I just sat there in my swim suit rather than keeping my other clothes on. Stingray city is basically a sandbar where you can stand in the water and hang out with stingrays. Sounds ok, right?

When we arrived there were four or five other boats there so we went snorkeling first. A little reef area nearby. They had snorkel gear, but it’s kind of gross using someone elses snorkel. Deanna and I brought ours and borrowed fins. I got in pretty quick. Right as I did our guide announced that there was a scuba diver taking pictures of a moray eel. He then mentioned a few things about the eels being blind and having sharp teeth. I look under the water and there it is. The diver was sort of coaxing it out and then taking pictures…and then it started heading towards me and another guy. I got outta there. After clearing out a bit I turned around and tried to snap a few more shots. I found Deanna and we headed to the reef. Unfortunately the waves break right at the reef so it was a constant fight against current. Add to that the people were almost all of the boat and that is a recipe for sucks-ville. I got out of the current and headed back to see how Keelan and Charlotte were fairing. They weren’t. Charlotte had an inflatable vest, but it wasn’t helping…panic took over a little. We assured them that this was not optimal “first time snorkeling” and said we’d take them somewhere that was in the future.

I got out. Too many people. Then I jumped back in to “wash the sand off my feet.” While I was doing that I saw some fish swimming by the boat…little pieces of stuff floating in the water. One of those pieces looked just odd enough for me to get closer. It was less than half an inch long and less than a quarter inch wide…it was a crab. A tiny, tiny, wee little baby crab. Before I could get my camera it got lost in the current.

We then headed over to the Stingrays. This…was…awesome. There were maybe 10-15, but they were all right there swimming all around us. I have photos. I have video. Gimme time and high speed DSL. I can’t describe it in words. Deanna and Keelan even kissed one.

After that we headed back and I went through an hour and 15 minutes online deleting emails from a spam attack…3500 emails. I almost fell asleep during that process…about 5 times.

Tomorrow is relax day.

Day 62

Cozumel, Mexico. Finally! We did something again in Cozumel. For whatever reason we usually walk around in the nearby shops or go get internet access at a coffee place when we’re in Cozumel. I think a lot of the shopping was because we were leading up to Christmas and Secretest of Santas. After that the weather hasn’t been the best when we’re here.

Today was cloudy, but looked like it would break. Jen and Larrance were off on the Mayan ruins tour with Jen’s parents so Deanna, Andy and I made plans. Deanna did some research and found a place called Palmar Estates on Dzul Hal Beach. It had a butterfly sanctuary and a private beach for snorkeling…all for $8. It was actually great. It was hard to photo the butterflies…especially the cool big blue ones. But it was guided and the guy with us pointed out caterpillars and chrysalises that we were pretty much just looking at without realizing they were creatures. One of the caterpillars looked like a bird turd, but then you touch it and these orange antennae show up. I got pics.

They also had lockers, so I locked up my big camera and we headed off to snorkel…right across the street. It was right next to a not-private entry to the exact same water, but the $8 also included chairs and a couple dudes to watch over stuff. It was rocky getting into the water, but we made it. Clearest water yet. Fantastic snorkeling. I got in by the rocks. Deanna and Andy went down 50 feet or so to more of a smoother entry. I’m glad I went in where I did…after swimming out and over about 10 feet I thought I saw a little tiny octopus. It wasn’t, but for whatever reason my brain was triggered into octopus mode. Why? Because five feet from where I was I saw a hole, and I saw something sink down into that hole. An octopus. Much bigger than the thing I thought was an octopus that wasn’t. Big enough to make me keep my distance. Small enough to have me not back up (so I could get pics). Jen has stories of how smart octopi are…of cornered octopi being smart enough to pull your mask and scuba respirator off your face. I stood my ground and flagged Andy and Deanna over. Jen would have to settle for photos.

Towards the end of our visit it started raining while we were in the water. It was cool and our stuff stayed mostly dry on land. My only complaint was that my photos got worse with the thicker clouds. I’ll be snorkeling in Cozumel again. I also plan on renting a jeep and just driving around the island taking photos.

We had rehearsal and our shows tonight. The first show was great. We did a great job and the audience was fantastic. Unfortunately there were two things working against us for the second show: it was later in the evening (after a day of Cozumel (which means booze for most people)); the crew show was shoe-horned in between our two shows. When there is a crew show in between our show it means people either have to sit and watch it and our show together (about 2 hours of sitting for shows) or decide between the two. The later show is usually our more well-attended show. Not tonight. Those who chose the “I’ll watch the crew show and then the Second City” have a higher percentage of changing their mind after seeing the crew show…especially when the tiredness of the day starts to hit. Our audience was a quieter one, but we had a great show with a fun musical ending.

Tomorrow we plan to go to Stingray City with Keelan and Charlotte.

Day 61

Sea Day. Today was typical. Eat, workout, go to VIP party to meet passengers. I spent a lot of time working on the photos from yesterday’s shoot.

That’s about it.

Day 60 Pt. 2

Miami, FL. Well, once we got back on the ship it was a gambit of laundry, photos, and eating.

Massimo and Alesia (the adagio couple from the JARs) practice on “the silks” from time to time. “Silks” are two long pieces of silk hanging from the ceiling. Doing an act on them means climbing up them and suspending yourself in different ways from them. I know they are used in a commercial for some hotel to show how spacious the rooms are. A lady is in a room by the curtains (actually silks) and ends up flying around the room doing silk maneuvers. Why do I mention all this? I talked with them and found out when they would be rehearsing so I could take pictures. I did just that. I wanted to get a few key shots that I had in mind, but I ran out of time.

From photos I went to meet Jen’s parents for drinks with everyone else. By this point Deanna and I were starting to get hungry. After drinks Deanna and I headed to Azura to eat. They were full. We then went to Tsar’s…they had the same menu as Azura that night, but with more space. When we got there we were well into our “hangry” phase (hungry that makes you angry). When I’m hungry like that I’d just assume go to the buffet, but we had already put the effort in and were nearing a table. The hostess said “would anyone mind sharing a table with other passengers?” Without dropping a beat Deanna raises her hand. They march us and two other groups of two off together. I’m hangry. I don’t want to spend dinner playing getting to know you with passengers…I want food. On our way to our table we saw Keelan and Charlotte. They invited us to sit with them. We were saved!

We had a nice dinner. The first time we had dinner together was in a bigger group of people. I didn’t care for the appetizers that night so I ordered two entrees…beef and duck. Keelan and Charlotte are both vegetarians and there I am digging into two plates of meat. The next time they ate with us was the next day and I had two turkey burgers. Charlotte asked if I always had a plate of meat for my meals. Pretty much.

I also watched some more Band of Brothers. If you’re interested in WWII, watch this series on DVD.

Day 60 pt.1

Miami, FL. Well, I'm here in the Holiday Inn. This lobby is always packed with people. People sometimes bring drinks with them and leave their cups behind.

Well...Deanna is on her computer and just grabbed for her coffee to take a drink. She grabbed a cup alright. Not hers, though. She took a drink and said, "Rance. Rance...I just took a drink, but out of this cup. I think I'm going to throw up." Later she also stated that she was pretty sure it was spit in the cup and that she swallowed a loogie.

We're both now sitting in the Holiday Inn trying not to barf.

Enjoy your day!

Day 59

Sea Day. I had a pain in my neck today and it made me want to do nothing but stay in the cabin and watch Hot Rod again (see it…at least three times).

Today was pretty much all about waiting until night. Tonight was Star Seekers…the passenger talent show. I didn’t have any plans on going, but by the time it was 7:30 I had been lying around all day and felt like going with Deanna. There were a couple good acts, a couple terrible ones, and mostly ok ones.

We were supposed to meet Jen and Larrance at 8:30 to play Settlers of Catan, but we were late by 15 minutes because of the show. We did play though. Deanna almost won, but I built a longer road than her and that took 2 points away…those who play will understand. The important thing is Jen didn’t win…she is a powerhouse all-american at everything else. She has never won Catan and it must stay that way to keep her humble.

Day 58

Sea Day. And a fairly typical one at that. Today was mostly spent eating and chillin’ out. I edited photos too…that was a big one. I had a lot of photos from earlier in the week. See, they need to be prepped before I get to Miami to upload them.

Tonight we had our improv sets. Normally we do a show, catch most of Cirque Bijoux, and then do our other show. I decided to go catch the beginning of the first Cirque show since I had only seen the beginning once. I ended up staying for almost the entire show. I had to leave to get to our call time for improv. When we came back to the second Cirque show it hadn’t started yet, so I got to see the opening a second time. Only Johnny wasn’t there this time…for the whole show.

We started wondering what happened. The only thing I could think of was that he might have fallen in the very last silk routine since that was the only part I missed in the 7:30 show. Andy said he heard the captain talking to someone in the hall about someone falling. Now, earlier in the day I sat down to lunch with Christopher (name drop…I found out he reads the blog so had to mention him by name), Candy, and Ryan. Christopher mentioned how rumors spread about him and the Ship n Males show he hosted the previous night…and the rumors spread in a four hour period. So, as we were trying to find out what happened to Johnny I said “let’s just wait until we actually hear what happened from one of the JARs.” Luckily we ran into some of them in Blue Lagoon and they let us know he had a bad sinus infection and he wasn’t able to do the second show. Take that, rumors!

Day 57

Castries, St. Lucia. Today we headed to a place called Marigot Bay. This is a place that is supposedly used in movies a lot when they need a Caribbean setting. It was ok in my book…ok. Jen, Larrance and Andy liked it better. I just wasn’t inspired to get in the water and snorkel because it was cloudy. Cloudy means so-so pictures. I figured I would just relax until the sun broke through…it never did. Well, it did once we went to the restaurant.

We also had a workshop today led by Deanna…it was a hit.

From there we went to see Kenny Byrd…ventriloquist. I laughed more than I thought I would. His ending was so simple in a “not that fancy” way…not in a “level of skill required” way, but it killed. It got a very fast standing ovation for him, that’s for sure.

Deanna and I came back to the room and started watching HBO’s Band of Brothers. We watched the first two episodes. It’s pretty great so far!

Somewhere in between today and tomorrow is the exact moment of our journey being exactly half-complete/half-over. 58 more days to go. Where will the future take us?!

Day 56

Barbados…Bridgetown? I can never keep them straight. Brigetown, Road Town, George Town…European settlers couldn’t keep “town” out of town names apparently. The Boat Yard was awesome!!!!...so I’ve heard. We woke up and it was cloudy. I didn’t feel like going and as every minute of breakfast passed I was more and more sure of it. So, what did I do? I got a massage, that’s what. We get a discount on port days so I took advantage of that. It was great. My shoulders have been tight from being a workout powerhouse so it was just what I needed.

Other than that it was a lot of eating and waiting. At breakfast we were talking about comments we’ve heard other people make without thinking. The one in question was made by someone from Australia to Mike…talking about making fun of some group of people…”you know, like you Americans make fun of the Jews.” This inspired an introspective into jokes of our youth. We chatted about how the joke of our youth were about the polish or “Pollack jokes.” It dawned on me that over time the groups change and the jokes stay the same pretty much. I started telling standard jokes I remember but tailoring them to today’s groups. Example. I replaced “blondes” with “environmentalists”…”how can you tell if an environmentalist has been using the computer? There is white-out on the monitor!” I told a bunch of these with apparently stellar delivery. Jen was laughing to the point of tears and Deanna as well…although Deanna was laughing because of Jen. I have pics of both of them.

I ate lunch with the two female singers from the JARs. That was a nice treat. They are both fantastic singers, but fun to hang with as well. Bianca was putting powdered creamer into her coffee, but the creamer was in an ex-holder-of-gum…I thought it was some mint powder.

Deanna and I finally got our beds put together. When they are separate we call it sleeping “Ricky and Lucy” style…but Deanna called it “Lucy and Ethel” last night so we’ve been fighting over who is Ethel and who is Lucy. I think we spent most of the day referring to each other as Ethel.

Tonight was a crew party. It was sponsored by the JARs. It was supposed to be on Christmas, but they wanted to do it in the Spinaker Lounge and they wouldn’t allow that so soon after the last Spinaker crew party. So, they had the theme of White Christmas and everyone was supposed to dress in white. If you like scantily clad women or men you will want to go see the 1/9/08 photos. The JARs are sexy as all get out and the photos prove it.

I feel like I’m forgetting something. OH. Crew normally have a curfew of 2:00am, but the captain allowed them to go to 3:00am because of the party and good behavior. When we did our crew show I played the captain’s voice in announcements for a sketch and they had me make the announcement on the mic at the party that we could party until 3. The crowd of course cheered. I went up to the captain afterwards (because he was there hanging out…he is awesome and mighty) to make sure we were cool. We’re cool.

Day 55

St. John’s, Antigua. What have I seen in Antigua before? The shops right outside the port…that’s what. Every time we’ve been here it has usually been after an active day in Tortola. Tortolla? I’m pretty sure there is just one “L.” So, normally I have been Christmas shopping, getting coffee, getting Ting, or using the internet. This time Jen and Larrance proposed a taxi tour around the island stopping at a few key spots. The plan was to go to Nelson’s Dockyard (an old timey dock), Devil’s Bridge (an old timey natural rock formation), and Long Bay Beach (a beach with soft, white sand…old timey sand). We followed the plan.

Nelson’s Dockyard was a nice little place. We didn’t have much time to spend there, but it was still in working order with old buildings as well. There were a lot of nice boats docked there. On the drive to the Dockyard our taxi driver told us island info. He stopped by an odd building made of limestone. He said it was an old sugar mill. There were 156 (or something like that) originally on the island (I think they had windmill blades originally). Around 100 still stand (no windmill things). We saw them every so often on our travels. We also saw a lot of livestock wandering around.

Devil’s Bridge looked huge and mighty in pictures we have seen…not so much. It was still cool though. Water crashed underneath it and sprayed up sometimes. I got hit by a big one while I was taking pictures. I just had enough time to turn and protect the camera. I’m really glad I just brought my little camera with me…I almost brought the big boy, but our last destination was a beach and I didn’t want sand on it.

The beach had some snorkeling…not as good as Smiths Cove, but it is hard to compare to that place I guess. I can tell I’m not going to be satisfied until I find a better place…and then I’ll have to find something better than that. I guess by “better” I would settle for “clear water for good photos.”

We had to be back on the ship by 4:30…we got back to the port by 4:17. As we were walking back on the boardwalk a guy dropped his drivers license and it went right through a crack in the boards. They couldn’t see it through the cracks at first, so I used my height to lie down and look around and under the pier. I saw it floating there. The guy who dropped it quickly took off his shirt and shoes. Someone said “you can use that boat!” and pointed to a little nearby raft…it was locked up. I don’t know what he said to his wife, but he put his shirt on and I looked again. The license was gone. He could have jumped in and got it, but he missed his window. Oh well.

Tomorrow is our first chance to go to a hang out beach place called the boat yard in Barbados. Normally we have a show on that day, but it got switched, so we’re free!

Day 54

Road Town, Tortola. Split decision. Yesterday Jen and Larrance said they were going to go to the botanical gardens when we got to Tortola. So, that is what I was mentally prepared for. At breakfast they said they were going to go to a beach. What? Well, Andy and I were preprogrammed for gardens so we took our cameras and headed out.

There were a lot of little lizards, some cool spiders, and plant life of course. See pics.

That was about all we did. After getting back on the ship it was time for rehearsal and then shows. The shows went really well. Both audiences really had us worried. Usually there is a good amount of applause when the “show is starting” announcement happened…nothin’. But, by the time we got a few sketches in they were loving it. A lot of the JARs came to the first show and a few to the second. Support = good.

Day 53

Samana. I’m really back tracking here. For whatever reason this new room doesn’t remind me to blog at night before I go to bed.

Things I remember are that Roman and Sveta got a chance to join the excursion that goes to some private island. I remember this because I remember sitting outside for breakfast under a covering while rain poured down. The rain storms come and go pretty fast. It’s sunny, then rain, then sun, then foggy. At one point all we could see off the ship was grey…there is a picture.

Because of all the clouds the sunset was pretty dramatic…see pics as well.

Today was mostly about hanging out with whichever JARs came by where we were.

Day 52

Sea Day. This morning I set my alarm for 10:00am…usual wake up for breakfast. It is the first morning waking up in the windowless cabin. The numbers on the clock meant nothing. It could have been night, afternoon, who knows. I got up to get food, Deanna had apparently got breakfast at 7:30 and come back to bed. I never heard her leave or come back.

Other than that, today was filled with fun chats with JARs and laundry. Not a lot of action.

The six of us were going to have, what has now become a tradition, Band on the Run night dinner with Sveta. Seven of us tried to get a table at Tsar’s when Keelan and Charolette (magician & assistant/quick change partner) showed up and joined us. It was nice getting to chat with them.

I’m tired. Later suckers.

Day 51

Miami, FL. Oh boy. Today was rough…mentally. Announcements started at 7:00am letting people know it was time to leave. Express is first and then groups of people organized by colored tags on their luggage. Normally we get up at 8:00, have breakfast, and we get out of customs by 9:00. Today we were up a little earlier (because of the announcements). I was 95% packed…Deanna was about 80% packed. We finished packing and left…hoping that our luggage would magically make it to our new room as promised.

Since we know the truth about the employee shuttles we went to get on one. And waited. And waited. No dice. With our status (passenger) we can get off the ship when we are ready to get in the fray with the other passengers. Crew leave via a window system. They let a certain amount of people off for a half hour every hour or something. As Deanna and I sat in the van I said “We always get out by 9:00 and start walking, and we always see someone by starbucks just getting off the shuttle.” But, we were cranky (a theme for the day). I said we’re going to get a cab. Deanna was out of cash…so regardless of us going shuttle or cab, I was paying for it. It ended up being twice the amount the shuttle would have been. Oh well. Sure enough, when we got to starbucks, there were the other people just getting off the shuttle.

Every little thing was getting on our nerves. We went in to get coffee and found Johnny, Candy, and moments later, Christopher. They were having debacles as well, but cheered us up. Side note, Christopher, Jon Paul & Johnny were telling us that they play DING in the dressing room before their shows. If you’ve seen ComedySportz you would know it as “New Choice”…we call it Take That Back. In an improv scene, when ever someone rings a bell (DING) the last thing you said doesn’t exist anymore and you replace it by saying something else. So, with them, someone will randomly say DING to a person talking. Side note justified. When Christopher got to starbucks he was third in line. Johnny had just finished telling us about some trouble he had getting through security. The end of it was him saying “I am from this country. I’ll drop my bag and walk right off this ship.” It was at this point that Candy…first in the line at starbucks…turns and said DING. Chris, without missing a beat, came up with a new sentence and then looked at Candy and said “Oh! It’s you! I was like ‘who the hell knew to DING me in Starbucks?’” That whole scenario cheered us up.

Deanna headed off to the wonders of the library with Andy. I headed off to the blunders of the hotel (no real blunders…just a fun little play on words (one brittle sleigh on turds)).

We found out that someone stole a starbucks gift card from our mailbox in Miami. How? It was supposed to be a Christmas gift for Andy…ordered on 12/8. Larrance and Jen checked with starbucks on it today and they said it had already been used. SCANDAL! So, if you sent/send me something, let me know you did. Someone else may be enjoying it.

I didn’t even have time to try and catch up on online TV. I headed back and Deanna and I met up to get keycards to our new room. It is…smaller. We either got screwed by the change or we were lucky to have the room we did. Andy looked at our new room and said it was the same size rooms they had on the Pearl. Our old rooms were kept within the SC circle for many contracts though. Regardless, we’ve gone from 6 drawers down to 3 narrower drawers, 1/3 less closet space, and no desk. The bathroom seems a little bigger though. Also, no window…this is a good thing. We shouldn’t hear the tender boats at all being in the center of the ship and up two decks. Let’s hope. It is just slightly shakier because we’re pretty much right over the engines. There is also one cool thing about this room that will only be a secret known to Deanna and I. Don’t bother asking, I will tell you an answer, but chances are it will be a clever fabrication.

Also, by the looks of our planned path on the ship info channel we’re doing a different order this week. I can’t be for sure just yet. More info on that as I collect clues.

Day 50

Zzz Day. The rockiness continued. I joked with a lot of people yesterday that it was 75 degrees in Cozumel and that that was CHILLY (HA HA HA…ohhh…ha ha…haaaaaa). As we kept rocking through the night I watched the ship info channel. 66 degrees. What? Ok…it was night time…I guess it would get cooler. This morning? 54 degrees. That means jeans, shoes, hoody sweatshirt. THEN I watched the news…snow in Florida? Things got cold in a place where it doesn’t. It was inconvenient…and it was the truth. Catch my drift?

This is the first morning that I haven’t been up in time for breakfast. I never eat breakfast at home…at least not in the morning. I’ve done nothing but out here. It was tough to go anywhere on the ship because there are stir-crazy passengers all over. The pool area is inactive and pretty much shutdown so everyone is hanging in the indoor areas. I spent a lot of time in my room.

I DID go to the bridge viewing area for the first time. A nice little area that lets you see what is going on in there. Next time we hit a big storm late at night I’m going to go up there.

We had to pack up today…at least Mike, Deanna, and I did. We’re moving to rooms with no windows. The windows are obstructed so no loss to me. Hopefully it will be better on tender morning and we won’t hear the winches. It’s almost like leaving a legacy behind. These rooms have housed many different casts. Brendan and Beth were in this room before us and I thing Steve and Katie before them. Keeping this in mind…a mystery is afoot. I have three drawers right by the TV and Deanna took the three by the desk. My bottom drawer never closed all the way. Tonight as I was unpacking I though “I bet something is back there!” I found a lavender thin fleece pair of pajama pants, a grey thin fleece pj pants with thick purple stitching, two pairs of underwear, and a white silk night…all size Medium. If you’re the owner, email me.

Later tonight we did a photo exchange. Andy has a lot of great photos of Deanna and I that I will be printing. We then played a card game called Quao (cow). The goal is to be the first to get rid of your cards. One card says challenge someone to a staring contest…the loser draws a card. It is usually played and usually Jen vs someone and Jen loses fast. I played it as my second to last card and challenged Andy. If I didn’t he would win. We had an epic staring contest…epic. Even with Jen blowing in my face. Andy’s eyes even teared up and cryed without him blinking. He ended up winning. Epic.

It is now night and the seas have finally chilled out. Tomorrow, Miami. I plan to catch up on TV via internet…it usually doesn’t work well in the hotel. We also have to do the actual room move tomorrow. Yikes!

Day 49 Pt. 2

(tada! video! I don't know why I have "Sean Connery 'S's" in this)

Cozumel, Mexico. It was still windy and still wavy on the way back to the ship. We took off and the ship slowly started rocking again…but not as bad as during the night.

Still, we worried for the JARs show…and ours. Our improv shows start after each JAR show. They have a 7:30 and 9:30, we have an 8:45 and a 10:45. We usually manage to watch a good portion of the 9:30 show and tonight wasn’t any different. There was only the slightest sign of struggle with the waves on their part. It has got to be tough. Even though the rockiness might not be super bad it still causes what I call “gravity pockets.” Either the ship is moving up because of a wave, which causes double gravity, or the ship moves down after a wave, causing half gravity. I’m sure this was happening during their show. It has got to be hard on the male dancers doing lifting. A 110 pound dancer suddenly becomes a 160 pound dancer if the timing is right.

Apparently the ship was going slow for their show and kicked into gear right after it ended…and just in time for our second improv set. Rock-y.

Most of us ate afterwards. There were some passengers sleeping in the atrium. It is on deck 7 midship. So, it is pretty much the middlemost point on the ship and therefore the least rocky. Barf bags are also everywhere now incase anyone needs them.

I’m watching the front of the boat channel…every so often a flood light turns on and I can see the waves very clearly. I wish I could see a weather radar.

Day 49 Pt. 1

Holy Balls! We hit a major storm last night. Major. At around 4:00am it woke me up. The ship was a-rockin', I could hear the constant hiss of rain hitting our tender boats. About 45 seconds after it woke me up Deanna said "are you awake?". We turned on the TV to the info channel. Violent Storm. I can't remember if it said the wind was 45 or 73 knots...but it was hard. Waves 12-18 feet high. We turned to the "front of the boat" channel. It was dark and then they turned the lights on. Major waves.

I managed to fall back asleep. Deanna stayed up and watched a movie.

Today I'm in Cozumel using free internet at a restaurant. The wind is 45 mph and there are still major waves. Needless to say, we didn't go snorkeling.

More as the day happens.

Day 48

George Town, Grand Cayman. I don’t remember if I’ve mentioned it, but we flipped the port order on this 5-day. Usually we hit Cozumel and THEN Grand Cayman. We’re doing it backwards this time.

We knew we had shows tonight, and we knew we had rehearsal at 4:30. This meant we could still do something on land. We chose to go back to Smiths Cove. Snorkeling, baby! That means more pictures of fish. Smiths Cove has a rope with floats that say “Swim Area.” The first time we were there I thought it was to keep us in…nope. It is to keep boats out. Roman and Sveta were with us and brought along a nice trick. Bread. Bring bread in the water and the fish come out to play (eat it). I don’t like being around people when I snorkel. I’ve already had a head on collision and now I’m always watching for people. Deanna and I had to find a happy medium. She would be too close and I’d get space or I’d go out kind of near other people, but they would head back in and I would be snorkeling alone. Not the safest thing. I’ve gotten more daring with experience. We’re going to try a spot in Cozumel tomorrow (theory).

My parents got me these waterproof cards with pictures and names of fish in Cayman and Cozumel. Pretty handy. I’ll use them to go back and name fish in my photos (another theory).

After that we had to come back for rehearsal and shows. I had my first failed coffee quest. I seek out a “big” mug, 3 raw (Domincan Brown) sugars, and a spoon for my coffee. Coffee and cream are easy to find. I don’t think the ship ordered more raw sugar. All last cruise the numbers dwindled. I would have to look around on the tables because it wasn’t in the sugars by the coffee makers. Then I started going into Mama’s restaurant to find them on the tables. Tonight I had to use regular sugar. A crying shame. I’ll fair better in the morning hunt.

Our shows tonight were great. These crowds really loved the shows. We were eating in the Blue Lagoon later afterwards and two girls and a guy walked in saying how great the show was. They gave the suggestion “Ice Princess” for our musical title. The guy said “you can thank us for Ice Princess.” At which point a girl slapped him hard on the back. “I didn’t say it. Mark did!” he said to her. I said (to our table) “I guess now we know who the ice princess is.”

Day 47

Sea Day. A.K.A. Zzz Day. So…New Year’s Eve. Happy Birthday Jeremy! Today started with a breakfast, a plan, “a nickel and a wish”*. We were going to have dinner with Sveta at 8:30. This would be after our VIP party chat and after the Band on the Run show that Sveta would be seeing. The first sea day is usually sea food/lobster in all the restaurants in one form or another. Sveta loves her some lobster. Last time we went to Tsar’s Palace and we were going to go there again. They didn’t take a reservation from us…they said to just show up. It was packed because of NYE. We weren’t to upset because we also found out it wasn’t sea food night. Oh well.

We then watched Band on the Run, but from further back. Normally we sit in the front or up in the closest balcony booth. I caught two of the JARs looking up into the booth expecting to see us. Keeva saw us later on, so our presence didn’t go undetected. We met with them up on the pool deck for the countdown. So, there will be a lot of pics of JARs on the flickr come Friday.

On a totally separate note, they switched up the movies that cycle on the movie channels a couple cruises ago. For the worse, I think. A lot of sappy romance right now. No Reservations is the one that pops in my head because it is on right now. My other option is some Richard Gere/Winona Ryder flick…August in New York or something like that. Other crap includes The Invisible, High School Musical 2, and more. One movie that has grown on me is Hot Rod with Andy Samberg (burg?) from SNL. Seeing it in pieces made it go from terrible to funny. There are a lot of little cheesy moments in it that make me laugh more than they probably should. I recommend renting it and watching it three times for full effect.

*David Cross

Day 46 Pt. 2

Miami. Another lazy catch up day. I bought some shirts today…that is the exciting thing. We, as a cast, barely saw each other today. We saw Jen and Larrance at the end of the day and felt like we hadn’t seen them forever.

That’s pretty much it. Take a breather from reading, everyone.

Day 46 Pt 1

Happy Birthday Seana!

This last 9-day felt extra long. It is nice to get out in Miami and do a little shopping. More later. I have updated my photos and will try to get some more videos online while I'm here at the hotel.

Day 45

Sea Day. I can feel everyone’s cold trying to take me…I’m fightin’. Today I relaxed to try to build energy and keep away from people. Deanna has been photo happy lately. She is easily the most recognized in our ensemble. For whatever reason everyone in the world thinks she look familiar…be it from a movie, childhood friend, relative, neighbor…whatever. She wanted to go out taking pictures of old people sleeping. I told her she was on her own. It is too hard to be inconspicuous when everyone recognizes her instantly. She asked for some technique pointers…I’m very sneaky when I take some of my photos. We crossed paths at one point, and someone said “great show last night” so I ditched her. 

Since I was still feeling like I could get hit by the cold I went to work out. Sweating felt like it purged some germs. I then showered, ate, went to a show and then watched Deanna eat. This was at about 8pm. The whole time she was eating I felt exhausted. Just as we were leaving the buffet we saw pretty much everybody fun on the ship coming in for dinner. Deanna went back to hang out with them. I went back to the room. Shrek was on TNT. I turned on the TV, lied down, and almost immediately fell asleep. Around 9:15 I woke up and decided that if I was going to sleep I may as well get ready for bed and sleep for real. As soon as I got in bed I couldn’t sleep.

Deanna came back around 10:30 with lots of little tid bits. The biggest one being that the Quest…that crazy game show I keep talking about? Yeah…it is now PG because some cast (not Second City, but other entertainment) played it on another ship and had some crew on their team. This apparently ruined things for all the NCL ships as far as the Quest is concerned. I don’t feel bad for missing it tonight at least.

Today I calculated that there are 115 days in our contract on the ship.

Day 44

Sea Day. Sea days on holiday cruises are a subtle game of hide and don’t seek. Last night before going to bed I watched my DVD of Bourne Ultimatum. Today I woke up and watched Bourne Ultimatum on one of the ship’s movie channels. I also managed to get some choice pics of “the passenger element”…go to flickr and check it out.

It was pretty easy going today up until night time. We had two improv shows and headed down to the Fyzz lounge. That place was happenin’. A lot of the JARs were down there and Deanna and I were pretty sure that was why it was so packed…it just had the air of “place to hang out” because of them. We had a lot of people come chat with us. My favorite thing was a kid who was 12 or 13 dancing with a girl. He had one move and that was it, but he was the most confident kid. I got him on video and may get it up on youtube.

The teens are getting more and more restless. 5 day cruises are for teens. Keep that in mind if you’re bringing teens on a ship…7 days max.

Day 43

Castries, St. Lucia. I did not feel like getting off the ship today. There has been a cold that everyone but Larrance and I seem to have been plagued with. Well…I feel like I’m starting to get it. However…this is the last port before two days of sea and nothing but. Andy, Deanna and I decided to head in. We had been to Reduit. We had been to Pigeon Point. There is a bartender on the ship named Michael…he is from St. Lucia. We saw him on our way out from breakfast and asked where a good beach was that was close…he pointed out the window. Bagshaw was the destination.

We got there and it was a little beach connected to a Sandals resort. We thought they might kick us out, but they were fine. The waves were the biggest we have dealt with. The water would pull you out just as a wave would form. I ran away from one wave and turned around to see Deanna lifted in the air and Andy knocked on his butt. Fun times!

There are these things called Neti Pots…you fill them with salt water and poor it directly into your sinuses through your nose. We get hit by Neti pot waves every so often. I was actually hoping for one today because of the oncoming cold and I lucked out and got one.

In other events, there is a phenomenon on the ship with the teens. They travel in packs and usually sit on the stairs. Of all the places to go hang out, they pick stairs. There are tons of places with tables and chairs…they pick stairs.

Deanna and I had a late night meal and a couple said hi and said they liked the show. Deanna asked them what their favorite port was and they said Samana. We were both stunned and excited to hear what they did. You may remember that Samana is a pretty poor town and kind of sad. So here was an opportunity to find out what was so great about it. I asked, “What did you do?” He said, “We went and rode on the ATVs. It is such a poor town that it really hit home with me how truly fortunate I am to be living the life I am.” It wasn’t the cool port, it was the life reflection port. This guy seemed very wise for a guy in his 20s…hell, for a guy in his 50s.

The sea days are a-comin’.

Day 42

Barbados. It is a show night so I didn’t go into town. We were all a little tired after doing a crew show at midnight the night before. I don’t think I went to bed until 3:30 or so. So…we stayed on the ship. I’m really stretching to remember things. I forgot to write at the end of the day.

Deanna went up to deck 14 outside and sunbathed…or “sun baked” as the Aussies call it.

She got back to the room around 2:30 or so and fell asleep. We had a 4:30 rehearsal. I was watching Casino Royale extras and really started to crash. I set my alarm…barely…and was out.

We rehearsed, we did shows. The first one was my particular favorite this time around. Tomorrow we teach a workshop.

Pretty easy.

Day 41

St. John’s, Antigua. Merry Christmas Everybody! Today was filled with many splendors and glories. Late last night Deanna and I exchanged presents and it was a ship-bound success! She got me DVDs and a man-bracelet (Kenneth Cole…look for it on my right arm in future pics). What DVDs? Well, let me start off by saying I’m not the easiest person to buy gifts for. For the past few years I haven’t liked having “stuff”…anything that added to the clutter of stuff we already had was more than what we needed. Especially if it is something just bought out of feeling like a gift needs to be bought. So…that being said…I think I told everyone (because we had a secret santa pre-meeting where we all answered questions about what we wanted) that I wanted Borne Ultimatum on DVD and man-jewelry. Deanna got me those, plus Casino Royale (007) and Band of Brothers (HBO series on DVD). I’ve never seen Casino Royale (until now) or Band of Brothers, but they were excellent guesses on her part. Casino Royale had me at the opening credits graphics…plus they went to Atlantis Casion in Nassau which is where we went on our first cruise of this contract. So all that was good.

As we headed off the ship to see what was up in St. John’s there were people already coming back on saying “town’s closed.” Some with a little bit of anger in their voices…well, what stays open in your town? Movie theater…right? All the duty free stuff was open, so there was that. I had one goal…get to the internet café. I hadn’t been there but the speed was rumored to be fast. As Deanna and I walked toward it and saw all the closed shops I said “well, if it is closed they may have left the signal on.” It was an open-air bar and…yes…they left the wireless on. Deanna and I were the only ones there…then Sascha showed up…then Andy…then Roman and Sveta…then Jen and Larrance. That was it. All us. Oh, and one guy who was just there to watch over the place. I plan to buy that guy a drink in two weeks when we’re back.

Tonight we also had our crew show. It started with a dance by 8 of the JARs…a super sexy dance. Then we did a 40 minute set with a few things from our main show and some other things that probably wouldn’t fly with passengers. We had a really good turn out and they were very appreciative. I got to enter a scene bare-chested as the Lord of the Dance and that was a big hit. I also was the voice of the captain on the intercom at one point. The captain was in the audience an we were a little worried, but we heard he loved it.

The show started at midnight so that more crew could be available to see it. After that we went to “the Goon” to eat. Keelan and Charolette (magician and assistant…they do some great illusions and some great quick-change) joined us, which was nice. Roman and Sveta showed up right around 2:45am as well. Our meals have gotten into the habit of starting as a table of four and growing quickly to 8-10 people. Six of us, then usually Roman and Sveta, and now sometimes Mossimo and Allisia and Sascha. These people are great. This job is like summer camp for adults.

UPDATED LINKS

If you look over to the right there you will see links to all the posts. Below that is "Non-Blog" links. I've added links to my youtube, flickr, and Second City's NCL page.

Check 'em out!

Day 40

Road Town, Tortola. Christmas Eve. Yes…Christmas Eve. We did what anyone would do on Christmas Eve…head to the beach! We went back to the beach we were on when I first tried snorkeling. I did much better, but that didn’t change the snorkeling. There were a lot of Pelicans diving into the water…why? Because there were THOUSANDS of little tiny fish swimming around. They were an inch to two inches long and they were everywhere. When I first headed out I didn’t se anything but them. The water was also cloudy with sand because there are some decent waves on that beach. And the first thing I saw that wasn’t little fish? A Stingray. Now, the mask adds 25% magnification so this stingray in actuality was probably 2-2.5 wide and 4 feet long including tail. Still a decent sized ray. My camera wasn’t on and by the time I turned it on, gone. I saw it again later and took a picture with flash. The flash reflected off all the soot in the water and I got nothin’. I never saw it again. I DID see some angel fish and got some pics of them. So, fairly good snorkeling day, but lackluster because of the photo conditions.

After snorkeling I got out to try and ride some waves…just body surfing. Deanna, Jen, Larrance and I were out there. A huge series of waves came out of nowhere. I rode the first one and got rolled by the next three. I got rolled a lot by these. Larrance would body surf and then disappear, only to reappear lying on shore as the wave went back into the ocean. The ocean is also a little perverted in that it kept taking the tops of Jen and Deanna.

Our cab driver was meeting us at 3:30. We went in to get some food at a little food shack right there on the beach. You know how some people just seem to be blessed with something odd? Like maybe one person always has butterflies land on their head. Or maybe you’re a person who finds money on the beach out of the blue. Well, I’m discovering my gift is to open unlocked doors (with working locks) to find old men pooping inside. Yep. It happened again at the food place. They have one bathroom with no stall. The clincher here? The door to the bathroom wasn’t even shut all the way. Just opened a crack (no pun intended for “clincher” or “crack”).

OLD MEN! LOCK DOORS IN BATHROOMS! The next time it happens I hope to do the following:
1) take a picture
2) point out the door
3) do a tutorial on the wonders of locking mechanisms
4) inform them that they have inspired a new website called stupid-poopers and they will be seen there.

Later at night some of us went to the Christmas sing-a-long. It was…odd. The pianist is Russian and learned the songs this week. They had a song book with words to the songs…kind of. Twelve Days of Christmas had 2 turle doves, 3 french horns, and 4 turtle doves. Someone called out the number for Hark, The Herald Angels Sing and he started playing Gloria…people sang the song for a couple lines before realizing it was the wrong song..

After that we had our Secretest of Santas gift exchange. Everyone won.

Tomorrow is Christmas!

Day 39

Samana. We didn’t even get off the ship today. Major highlights were a 3:00 rehearsal for the upcoming crew show, seeing a huge shooting star, and playing Settlers of Catan (Cities and Knights add on).

People wanted snacks for playing the game. I bought four different types of Pringles from the crew store. I feel like I might puke right now. They have a pizza flavor that tastes really good, but makes me sick. I probably eat them once a year because it takes me a year to forget how gross they make me feel.

Deanna was hilarious in the game. She was bored from the get-go. Check out the pics for 12/23 on flickr when I get them up…there are a few of her in different states of boredom.

Tomorrow is Christmas Eve…we’re going to the beach.

Day 38

Sea Day. And pretty relaxed at that. We’re on a 9-day cruise and don’t have our normal show until Wednesday. Usually this means we’re anonymous all that time, but there are some people doing the 14-day cruise who were with us on the last 5 day as part of that. Like Alice, who is very nice and loves us. She says hi whenever she sees us. And a couple that has been married for 42 years. We recognized them because they played in the Newlywed/Not-So-Newlywed game on the last cruise, and that shows up on channel 30. They were hilarious. We got to chat with them at the VIP party tonight.

Who else did we get to chat with? A very interesting couple from England who ghost wrote a book for a spiritual medium. I believe it was called Host of Voices. They were great. The guy actually followed the medium around for months and kept a careful eye on her. He said some “mediums” would research the obituaries in a town they were visiting, but she never did. He understood how she did most of it and said he could probably pull it off. But…”there is 5% of it that was impossible. I didn’t understand it. It was only 5%, but it was a scary 5% and that was enough for me.”

In other news, we will be doing a crew show this week…Christmas night. This is a late night show just for crew members. This (I’ve been told) is a good thing to do early on in the cruise because it lets crew who normally have to work during our real show know who we are, and it usually involves free beer. It is a mostly different show with a lot of blackouts. It should be a blast.

Day 37

Miami, FL. Rough morning. We got up at 7:30 to get off the ship early. That’s 6:30 to you Chicago folk, and 4:30 to Oregonians. It is a necessity to get breakfast on these days. Unfortunately the same goes for everyone else. Buffet nightmare. The phenomenon I call the “buffet shuffle” was in full effect. This is when people are constantly in a state of almost making up their mind. It results in a lot of starts, stops, turns and barely any looking for who is around you. The more kids in the equation for this dance of death, the worse.

I got oatmeal and yogurt and made a bee line for a table. Worse yet is that people are in travel mode, so they might have luggage with them, or strollers, or other things they might want to carry and stop mid-walkway with.

Around 8:30 we made it. We started our journey off the ship with the memory of getting screwed in the customs line. Last time there were four lines…two of these lines went to one agent each and the other two went to two agents each. We were in a “one agent” line and it took forever. This time I was looking for the best line. Andy was already in line three and held up a single finger. No, he wasn’t flipping us off, he was letting us know #1 was the fast lane.

We got through and headed to town. Christmas cards are out! If you don’t get a card it is either on the way or we don’t have your address. There are a couple of cards here with “near-addresses” on them…yours will be late or never get to you. Maybe you are someone we hate (probably not)…you can pretend you are in the “near-address” pile and then feel instantly loved by us on these holidays.

Last Sunday was the Johnny Roast Beef xmas party. They hinted that they may have called and left a voice message or two. Thirty-three…that was the number of messages I had. To be fair, two were from my dad. If you get a chance, go see Johnny Roast Beef on Wednesdays at iO.

While getting things done (blog, flickr, youtube vids…more on that later) at the hotel…HOLD ON! As I’m typing this I’m watching the Strongman Competition on ESPN and there is a competitor from Norway named Odd Haugen. Anyway…I was at the hotel. There was a family there. Dad (steven), 13-ish year old son (Jason), and mom. Why do I know their names except mom? The kid was tired but didn’t want to fall asleep in the lobby. So he was walking around. “What are you doing, Jason?!” He didn’t want to sleep. He went to sit on a suitcase so he wouldn’t be comfortable and thus not fall asleep. “Don’t sit on the suitcase, Jason!” He wanted to know what time they were going to leave to go get on their cruise. “If we leave now we’ll just be waiting there in a line.” Mom suggests “Read your book.” “I’ve already read 6 chapters since we’ve left.” “Just read your book!” He didn’t feel like it. Later he grabs a book. I think, good he is going to read and shut his mom up. “What are you doing Jason? Read your required reading! If you’re going to read, just read your required reading! Steven. Steven! Tell him he needs to read his required reading!” Did I mention Steven and Jason both had minor colds? Just enough to be stuffy and coughing the whole time. Did I also mention that Steven was sitting in a chair 4 feet to my left and mom was sitting in a chair 4 feet to my right? Jason would pace back and forth between them…right in front of me. I called Jen in the middle of another mom bitch-out and said “The cruise is over.” I hope these people aren’t on our ship. They’ll never make it.

Tonight there is a new comedian on the ship. We’re going to check him out.

(later that evening)

Crap. Well, first…the comedian (David Naster) was pretty good. The act was billed as family-friendly, and he did a good job of just skirting the line sometimes. The other thing I liked was that he rolled with it. By this I mean he had a good enough amount of material in his brain that he could take his act with the crowd instead of hoping they stayed with him. Well done. However, in the first few moments before the show started Jen pops up by me and says “you’ll never guess who I just saw in the crowd!” I had no idea. Turns out it was Jason and mom. They’re on our ship. Glad I didn’t chance the hope that they wouldn’t be and say something stupid in the hotel.

Day 36

Really? Five days until Christmas? Yikes.

This morning was a morning that made me appreciate old people. Why? I went up to get breakfast around 10:15 (buffet closes at 10:30) and I couldn’t find a table…I ALWAYS find a table. We always find the SAME table in the back…always. Not today. Deanna had gone up 5 minutes before me and was nowhere to be found. I was walking around with a bowl of oatmeal and finally sat down at a table that had empty plates still on it. Finished my oatmeal and yogurt and walked around a little more. Didn’t see Deanna or anyone else, so I went back to my room to wait it out until 10:55 (way-back buffet closes at 11:00am). Everyone but Mike was at the usual table. So…why do I appreciate old people? They go to bed around 9:00pm and wake up at something like 4:00am to eat breakfast. Thus leaving it clear for us 10:00am-ers.

We were probably at breakfast chatting until noon. Decided to leave and ran into Chris and JP from JARs about to eat lunch. It’s called the two hour breakfast. Finally we headed to our room. On the way down the stairs we heard a thud above us and then a woman saying “Are you ok? Someone call 911!” An old guy fell over. Deanna and I rushed up and then scrambled to find a house phone. Luckily one of the staff with a phone showed up and took over. The guy was responsive and said “I felt lightheaded” but didn’t make an effort to get up. We then heard “Code Alpha. 10. Midship.” That is the medical emergeny code…Bravo is fire.

At 1:30 we had another hacky sack meeting and then it was pretty easy going until The Quest at 10:45. I have some photos of the final quest where a couple from each team has to change outfits on the stage. They get to change in the dark, but they don’t know what the challenge is until one man and one woman get to the stage from each team. Usually it is a huge guy and a tiny lady. The lady’s clothes are usually 2-3 sizes bigger by the end.

Day 35

George Town, Grand Cayman. Holy crap! We did it! We got of the ship and went snorkeling! We found a nice quiet beach that is small, but perfect for snorkeling. I took my camera and pics will be up on flickr.com soon. Saw some new fish…I have no idea what they were. I also did a head on collision with another snorkeler. It was by far my grandest swim. I saw Andy at one point and he directed me over to a cool area. When I popped my head out of the water I was far away. There was a rumor of an eel somewhere but I never saw it.

I was in charge of the line ups for the improv/scriptless shows this week. I tried to put people in places where I knew they were strong and play games that we kicked butt at. I think both shows were a big hit. We had a huge turn out for the late show. The Cruise Director has been pushing our shows as the 8:45 Second City Scriptless show and the 10:45 as Second City Unplugged: Adults Only. We don’t get super dirty in that we try to stay away from swearing, but Deanna and Jen are pros at innuendo.

Day 34: pt 2

Cozumel, part two. Well, we rehearsed and headed into our two shows. One of the blackouts (quick scene that ends with the lights going out right after the “punch line” or “blow” as we call it) didn’t hit as well with this crowd…they are a much younger crowd because of college break and the Christmas holiday. It doesn’t hit as hard because you would need to have grown children to really understand it. It still hits, but not as hard.

We cut one of the sketches this week. We had been running at around 55 minutes when we should have been running around 50 max. So…a sketch got cut. I think the show runs a lot smoother now. However, we were surprised to find they were squeezing the crew show (sort of a talent show where crew members perform) in between our two shows. Normally the 9:30 show is our best attended and it was by far our least attended for the entirety thus far.

There were JARs watching in both shows. I feel like we’ve really lucked out in that our cast gets a long, their cast gets along, and they both get along with each other. From what I’ve heard, that isn’t always the case.

Tomorrow we go snorkeling…right? So far that is not always the case.

Day 34: Pt 1.5

PS. I just put a bunch of photos up on my Daily Photo blog (link over there to the right...see?). Through 12/3. As always you can view all the photos at flickr.com.

Day 34: Pt 1

Cozumel, part one. Hey! Guess what! We didn’t go snorkeling. It was cloudy and a chilly 76 degrees. Plus, we have to be back for a 3:00 rehearsal. We heard of a coffee shop with internet access and we are now here. Originally my idea was to come here, check email, and then catch up on Survivor, Kid Nation, Heroes, or Last Man Standing. Apparently American TV stations hate Mexico. I can’t get any of the shows to stream. I COULD download episodes on iTunes for $2 each, but I’ll wait and see what happens in other ports. Antigua is supposed to have fast internet.

Day 33

Sea Day. Well…here is my normal routine for blogs. I let the day happen, I blog before I go to bed. Technically it is the next day right now, so I’ll try to remember what happened.

No dice.

I know I must have done something…I think I wrapped presents. I know I took a nap accidentally.

We went to the VIP party at 7:00, dinner at 8:30 with Svetlana. That’s something. We found out that Roman and Svetlana were on the Star with Piero, Mike, Jet, and all them. So that was a fun little connection. We finished dinner just in time to catch Band on the Run from the front row, house left. Always fun. They make faces at us when they can.

From there we went to check out the 70’s party and then down to the crew bar. None of the dancers showed up. We left and walked by The Blue Lagoon (restaurant) and they were all there eating. We went to bed.

If I actually wrote this at the end of the day I would say “Tomorrow we are going to go snorkeling in Cozumel!” Let’s see if I’m right! (remember…this is actually tomorrow)

Day 32

Miami, Fl. What? It was cloudy and rainy today. We went into town and tried to find stamps for our Christmas cards. Walgreens didn’t have them and said “they’ll have some at the Walgreens three blocks down the street.” So we went. On the way there a one-armed man said “can you spare some change for food?” I said, “Sorry.” To which he angrily said, “If you’re sorry, why don’t you help me get some food!” That’s a pretty good tactic to get someone to help you…right?

We made it to the other Walgreens and they were out of stamps also. They ALSO recommended an even bigger walgreens to go to. We didn’t. I headed back to stop by Starbucks and then holiday inn. I kind of hoped I would cross paths with the beggar again. A lot of scenarios passed through my head. Would he ask me for food again? If so, what would I do? Crap on the sidewalk and offer him that? Say “follow me”, have him watch me order lunch and also watch me walk off with my lunch? Take a $20 and throw it down a sewer drain? This guy may have been in need, but he was an asshole.

Anyway…I did some work, some shopping, and then got back on. Called my dad and answered some questions about their upcoming cruise. They will be on at the same time as Deanna’s mom. We got things settled for her today as well. They will all be on the same flights to and from the cruise.

Tonight was casual. We went to check out another performer we haven’t seen. A musician. At the beginning of the shows a generic announcement plays with info like no cell phones and what-not. Someone took a picture of the peacock curtain on the stage…their flash went off less than a second before the “no flash photography is allowed” part and all of us SC people cracked up.

More photos are online…flickr.com, search for “Rance Rizzutto Photography”. If everyone who reads this has looked at the pics, then I know 4 people read this. Thanks you 4.

Day 30

Sea Day 1 of 2. Really? A month already? This is going by fast for us. We are really lucky to be with this cast on this ship. There isn’t a lot of drama, we enjoy going out on excursions together yet don’t feel pressured to do so, and we communicate well.

Today was a typical sea day. We got up just in time for breakfast. I worked on making sure my address book was correct. I FINALLY worked out again after 3 days of not. We had a rehearsal at 4:00…an improv rehearsal. Since we only do improv shows on one night we decided to have a rehearsal to keep fresh. From there we had a little time before dinner and then our two improv shows.

I had three little adventures with passengers today. 1) someone said they had a crush on me, 2) a lady in the laundry room called me “adventure dude” because I used the iron with water inside instead of spraying the water on, and 3) I walked in on an old guy pooping because he didn’t lock the stall doors. You can’t see under the walls on the stalls…lock the doors. There is a lock on them…for locking…the doors. I know this is a sweet gig…let’s not dampen the effect by throwing old guys pooping into the mix.

Our shows were great tonight. Our new cruise director really liked them. We also went to Cirque Bijoux in between our shows. It was Nate’s last show. He is one of the gymnasts and was here when Greg Hess was. I have a picture on my phone that I don’t think is up on flickr yet. On one of our rehearsal days in Chicago we crossed paths with Beth and Brendan, Steve, and Greg. Them combined with us equals four generations of Nowegian Jewel casts…If Jen, Larrance, or Andy would have been in the photo it would have been 5. Anyhow, we sat in “Box 5” (that’s what I call it)…the upper level seats at the very front of house-left. These are the best seats, why? They are the only seats where you can see what the dancers do with their faces when their backs are to the audience. One guy ends a big number with his back to the audience and he stuck his tongue out at a dancer about to come on…that kind of thing.

Christmas is coming fast. We have one full day to get Christmas cards ready to go and we don’t have enough envelopes. That means a crappy day in Miami on Sunday.

I’m glad things haven’t become too repetitive. Hopefully my blog hasn’t either.

Day 29

Castries, St. Lucia. Holy crap! We had good weather! Today we all went with Roman, Sascha (the ballroom dancers) and Svetlana (Roman’s wife and previous dance partner, now on hiatus with baby in belly). We were set to go to some place that is supposed to be beautiful. So beautiful that it is used in a lot of movies because it is “typical beautiful Caribbean.” Well, the taxi drivers told us that it didn’t have a beach, it had a port. So we went to Pigeon Island, a national park that had a nice, long, sandy beach…according to the post card the driver showed us. Once we paid the $5 to get into the park we had Atlantic Ocean on one side (big waves and no sand), and the other side of the island had the Caribbean sea (calm, and sand). However, this beach was only about 100 feet wide. It did not match the photograph we saw.

I just basically got a deck chair and tanned/napped. Deanna came back at one point and said “you missed the show.” I asked what happened and she said there was a woman sun bathing topless. I saw her later. And even later than that an off-duty tour guide said “hey lady. I want to find a two-piece swim suit like yours.” She scoffed. He looked at me and said “She’s the only one with her top off. C’mon. She wants attention.”

We got back to the ship and chilled before our workshop tonight. We didn’t know what to expect for that. It was at 6:45pm…prime dinner time. We ended up with about 15 people, but they were very much into it. Andy did a great job coming up with a running order.

Later tonight we were in the Garden. I heard the cutest thing in the world. The kids usually spend all day with youth counselors so the parents can do other stuff. Well, it was late and the kids were probably on their way to bed soon. There was a mom with a daughter at a table by us. Another little girl was near the ice cream and in sight of the table. Both girls probably 3 or 4. The girl at the table said “Hi, Amy!” and what did little Amy reply? Not “hi”…but “I miss you.” No lead up, just flat out I miss you. Then she said it again.

In other news, it’s official…my parents have booked their cruise and will be out here in the end of January. Huzzah!

Day 28

Bridgetown, Barbados. Today was pretty overcast. I think we’re chasing bad weather. I hear rumor that there is a tropical storm or something but don’t want to use the bandwidth to look it up online. We were supposed to go hang out at a place called the Boat Yard today but one look at the weather had us changing plans. We decided to just walk into town. I didn’t even get off the ship last time we were here so I was determined to at least do that. Barbados puts us on a long pier…they have a shuttle to get you to the end. I guess last time the shuttle was mandatory, but it was optional this time. Deanna, Jen, Larrance and I walked. Before even reaching the end of the pier both Deanna and I started feeling odd.

We called it Land Sickness, but it was different. We both sat down and took it easy and then got some almonds and Powerade in the mall at the end of the pier. Still land sick-ish. We kept walking. Looked in a couple of shops but that was about it.

Tonight was a show night for us…and things were rocky. The rockiest they’ve been so far. It didn’t effect the show at all, but it was rocky. Actually, it seemed like more people than usual were leaving the show and I wonder if it was because of the rockiness. I know I tend to feel worse when I’m sitting in the audience on rocky nights. People get up a lot during any given show. Maybe they don’t speak English and it doesn’t make sense, maybe they expected the show to be shorter and they had made dinner plans, maybe they didn’t like it. Whatever the reason, any show can count on people showing up late and people leaving early.

After the show we grabbed some food and headed to a crew party in Spinaker. I have trouble getting into the vibe of these things, but this one was easier because it was in Spinaker and not in the low-ceilinged crew bar. The crew does a lot of work regardless of their specific job, and the parties are huge for morale. Why? There are cheap drinks, music, dancing, etc. It was enjoyable at the beginning. Then it got louder. Maybe I’m getting older but there are four things that make this situation less than desirable: I don’t drink, I don’t care for cramped spaces/crowds, once it gets loud enough for me to not hear it is useless for people to try to converse with me, and I don’t enjoy dancing. What do I enjoy in these situations? Watching. People watching. Watching people I don’t know act like idiots, watching people I do know have fun. I like to sit back and take it in. Usually that isn’t enough for people though. “Come dance!” “Get up and dance!” “You HAVE to dance to THIS song!” All said good-naturedly, but ease up. If a song comes on that I feel like dancing to (there are one or two), I will get up and dance. If I’m up and it isn’t a song I feel like dancing too I’m going to either A) be taking pictures or B) do bits.

I don’t know if it is because he is a little older or because he never really listened to pop-music, but Larrance seems to be immune to this problem. I don’t see anyone egging him on. I will have to figure out his secret.

Tomorrow is our last port on this cruise before two sea days…and it is supposed to be raining or cloudy. We are going to attempt to go to some beach in St. Lucia, if nothing else because it is our last port before two sea days. Two. We’ll see. This cruise has gone like this (at night) “Let’s do this awesome thing tomorrow!” (next day with bad weather) “oh…well? Next time?”

Day 27

St. John’s, Antigua. We were going to go on a tour of the island today. Sometime in between my leaving the breakfast table and my going back to the breakfast table an hour later, things had changed. I got all ready in my swimsuit and totally sunscreened. Apparently after I left the table it started to rain. People decided against the tour and remained at the table chatting with some JARs. Apparently the rockiness that kept us away from their show last night also proved for difficult dancing. It was a hard show for them…so I heard.

I went into town and found Jen. She showed me where the IGA was so I could get some Ting soda. I bought 4 bottles. Once I got back on board I was very active…more Smallville. AND I drank three Tings. I felt sick by the time we were off to dinner, but getting out and burping a lot made everything a-ok. We had dinner in Tsar’s Palace (or as I now call it “JARs Palace”) with Roman, Sascha, (ballroom dancers) and Svetlana (Roman’s wife). Nice food, nice times.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, Lois just had her red kryptonite aphrodisiac lipstick counteracted by a green kryptonite perfume and Clark’s mom got him close to green kryptonite to make him sweat and get the residual red kryptonite from Lois’ kiss out of his system.

Day 26

Tortolla. Today was rough weather. So, we went looking for a beach with waves. Jen and Larrance heard that a place called Apple Bay was good for that. We took a cab and found out that it was good waves…crashing into a wall with no beach. We settled for a place called long bay. After body surfing a while we were done. It was cloudy and started to rain once we went into the restaurant.

Today was supposed to be the JARs show Country Gold…well…it was supposed to be a day that we went to see it. The conditions were still rocky so we decided not to go. You’ll never guess what I did. Did you say watch Smallville? Then I guess you guessed it.

Day 25

Samana…right? We stayed on the ship today. Dedicated readers know Samana has kids selling shells and good coffee. But we stayed on board. I had web work to do (I’m still doing web stuff for CSz) and we relaxed. Later on in the day Deanna went to the library for the first time and I went to the crew video store (commonly called “Jewel-busters”, but I prefer Nord-flix). I checked out Smallville season 6. I was initially a huge fan of the show. Now I like it…it’s ok. About the time that Season 6 came on the air I was too far into The Office and Survivor. Tivo can only record so many things at a time.

So, now I’m watching Smallville. Also, the ship is pretty rocky. Probably the rockiest it has been, but still not too severe.

Gotta go…important Smallville plot point is about to be revealed.

Day 24

Sea Day. Boy…talk about lazy. I slept until 10:30. The only reason I got up was to try and get to the buffet in time for breakfast. My usual breakfast has become an eggwhite omelet with ham, spinach, and cheese, a bowl of oatmeal, and some yogurt. Today was no different.

After that I got online to see if I could put a dent in Christmas stuff. Two words: Bah Humbug.

It is the end of the day and I really can’t remember what I did today. Ironed some shirts. Ate. Ate. Man, what did I do today? I at least know that I saw the JARs show again. It is fun to see their show from the front row. It is pretty rocky right now and tomorrow will be an early start. We are tender boating so we will hear the winches kick in as our alarm.

Day 23

Miami, FL. America! Today was a typical Miami day except we got off the ship later than we should have. This meant going through customs with a lot of people. We took a cab across the bridge and camped out in the hotel. We had to be on by 3:30. We were.

Today was spent doing research for my parents who will be coming out in January.

I also heard from a few people via email. I think I even managed to get Tara to get a CSz buyout cast to play “Hey, Fred Schneider, what are you doing?” but to play it as “Hey, Rance Rizzutto, what are you doing?”

Today was more of the usuals once we got back. I ate, started laundry, worked out, threw clothes in the drier, finished my workout, ate, showered…blah, blah, blah. We got ready and headed out to see Edge’s last show at 7:30. Only…there is only a 9:30 show on the first day. So…we ate…again. Finally we got to the 9:30. It is Edge’s last show in that this is his last cruise with NCL. I have no idea who will come here in his place but they have big shoes to fill.

Right now I’m looking at Deanna’s pics as she scrolls through them. She has some great ones. Deanna wants me to tell you I’m awesome because I do the laundry. You know what, America? She’s right. Laundry was “my chore” at home. She would do dishes probably at least a 60-40 split with me being the 40%, and I rarely deep cleaned the bathroom or kitchen. Well, of laundry, dishes, kitchen cleaning and bathroom cleaning, guess which three you don’t need to worry about on ships? Here’s a hint: laundry isn’t one of the three. The nice thing is that it works nicely with my workout. I put in laundry, I work out, and they’re ready for the dryer.

I had three soft serve ice creams today. One was in honor of the CSz buyout. The other two were safety cones incase CSz needed more honor.

Day 22

Sea Day. Today was a mish-mash of activities. I slept in after not being able to sleep much the night before. I managed to get myself out of bed to grab a bite, work out, and grab a bite.

At 3:00 Deanna and I went to Swing Dance lessons. That was pretty fun. Andy and Mike were there too.

Later Deanna and I had a sea day dinner with Jon Paul, Johnny, and Candy from the JARs. That was fun. They’re all fun to hang out with.

I feel like this is one of my worst recaps.

We’re trying to get some Christmas cards out. No promises. I doubt we’ll actually get any out tomorrow while we’re in Miami, so that means we probably won’t get any our until the 16th. Also, good luck to us getting your cards if you sent one. Mail isn’t the best.

Robyn Norris is now living in Las Vegas. She performs for Second City at the Flamingo. If you go out there, please see their show and bring her a can of Coke. She says pepsi is everywhere out there and boy does she hate pepsi.

Day 21

George Town, Grand Cayman. Today was great. Last night was not. It was a fitful night of sleep. By the time I felt like I could fall asleep, it was too late. Tender boats. Around 9am the sounds of tender boat winches, announcements of which ticket holders can now board the boats…plenty to keep a guy awake. Our plan was to go into town and go snorkeling. My last attempts at snorkeling had been between mediocre and disastrous. I wasn’t looking forward to it. Add to that that we had improv shows to do at night. I felt like takin’ it easy and debated heading in at all.

I decided to go, and there was mention of snorkeling so I brought my stuff. We went to a place called Cemetary Beach.Why? There is a cemetery right there. Supposedly there was good snorkeling there. Yeah, right…right? I grabbed my snorkel stuff and headed down to the water. I figured I would at least just practice breathing in the shallow areas while everyone else had fun.

At about 5 feet out…about 1 foot deep…I could see a couple fish swimming around. Then a big school of really tiny fish. Then a group of bigger fish coming out. I yelled up to Mike to grab my camera for me (in its waterproof case). I started shooting like crazy. Within a few moments I realized my breathing was normal, I was floating, and I had been out there a while. Apparently I just needed a camera in my hand to help me out.

My camera has a special “underwater mode” that color balances things. Unfortunately the switch is easy to hit with my thumb and that usually puts it in video mode. I took a lot of little video clips thinking it was taking photos. So I have photos and videos from my first successful snorkeling. I saw a lot of different things. The best was a huge lobster that I have an ok photo of. I dove down to get a better photo of it when it went under a rock and my batter died. Nuts!

Shows were good tonight. The exact right amount of “adult material” in the late show. Deanna was on fire. Afterward we ran into JAR Christopher in Fyzz and he danced with Deanna to “Raining Men”…I got it on video and will youtube it eventually.

Hopefully I’ll have more time in Miami to download videos. Eventually I’ll add links over on the side there.

Day 20

Cozumel, Mexico. We made it into town today before a rehearsal. Mostly shopping. I needed a pair of sunglasses and ended up doing my first haggling. I wanted a pair of silver aviator glasses. One of the vendors there said they had some in their store. I went in, asked how much and he said $35. I think I laughed. I was looking to spend $10 for a cheap pair, and these were cheap. I said $10. He said “Come on…I can give you these [other ones] for $10.” So I left. On my way back past that same shop an older guy said “you wanted glasses, right?” I said yes. He said $15. So if you let them know you want something specific your best tactic is to then walk out and walk back by.

We had rehearsal and two shows. Edge and some of the dancers (Jon Paul and Christopher for sure) were at the 9:30 show. We all (us and the people just mentioned) went out for drinks and had a fun time.

Other than that, pretty tame.

Day 19

Sea Day. I’m sitting here looking at a screen trying to think about what I did today. Deanna and I have been trying to check out some of the additional activities. Today we made origami flowers and went to a guitar class.

We also got together for a good old fashioned game of hackey sack. Mike really pushes this. There is a netted in area with a tennis/basketball court that we were going to play on, but it was being used. I suggested the golf practice area because it is netted as well. Mike found an area that was dangerous in that the only thing stopping the sack from going in the water was an 8ft high metal wall. Yep, I kicked it over. Yep, it went in the water. I was going to post about how Jen is the All-American athlete of our group because she kicked butt at Wii boxing and hackeysack, but we didn’t get to play long enough for me to give her a 100% vote of confidence. Although she did try to kick the sack when it was about head-level for her.

Other than that we ate and worked out and saw the JARs in Band on the Run again. This time from the 2nd row.

In other news, Happy Birthday Blaine. Also, look out America…Ben Johnson is coming back to take advantage of your exchange rate he’s heard so much about.

Day 18: For Reals

Miami, FL. Nothing much to talk about today…I think. We went into Miami and took care of some shopping and business. I was jonesin’ for some TV so I camped out in the gracious Holiday Inn and caught up on Beauty and the Geek. I think there is only one more episode of that show remaining. I picked that one because they only keep two episodes online at a time. I also need to catch up on Survivor: China, Kid Nation, The Office, Heroes, and Last Man Standing.

Typical cruise start. Everyone on a shiny new ship and they don’t know where they are…but they soon find the ice cream and all hell breaks loose! This cruise seems a little younger than the last one. Apparently the older people go on the 9-day cruises and the younger ones hit the 5-days.

Tomorrow is a sea day and then Cozumel the next. We perform on Cozumel day. Now that we’re repeating cruises I can’t guarantee that these will remain daily, but I have gotten used to sitting down and writing at night. So, maybe?

Right as I started typing this the news was on with “entertainment” as the current segment. Christina Agulera finally comes out about her pregnancy. She finally did! I don’t know what took her so long! Oh, wait…WHO CARES?! People, I beg you…stop. Why do we care? Christina is right on the edge of the group of blondes…she at least seems to have some sanity and intelligence. Paris Hilton, Nicole Ritchie, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears…am I missing anyone? Please, stop caring about these girls so they’ll go away. In my “biz” I take a lot of suggestions for improv. When I ask for celebrities I need to add a caveat because 90% of the time it is one of them or Michael Jackson.

I digress.

Day 18: Prelude

We're in Miami. The bandwidth flows like wine. Photos have been updated on flickr.com (search Rance Rizzutto Photography...it's really easy and it is free to sign up). More as the day unfolds.

Day 17

Yet again at sea. We will be in Miami tomorrow and pick up a new crew. There may be a few people staying on, but not many. We do 5 and 9 day cruises…if you do them both in a row, congrats. You’ve just done a 14 day cruise.

Not much going on today so we kept a sharp eye on activities. After eating and going to the gym we went to the 3:00pm crew show. This was mostly various crew members singing songs. Imagine singing karaoke, but you don’t get to see the words, you have a live band playing the music, and there are 1000 attentive viewers. That is what it was like. At the end the cruise staff did a show called “Fountains”. There are about 8 people on the cruise staff. They were all dressed in toga-esque clothing and came out with water pitchers. The gist is they put water in their mouths and spit it on each other. It is much more entertaining than the gist makes it feel. I video-taped it and will hopefully get it on youtube.

The next big event on the agenda was Wii Boxing from 6:30-8:00. I let everyone know about it. Jen showed up. Wii games are great. After an 8 year old and his dad/grandfather played it was time for Jen and I to play. She destroyed me. If you don’t know what Wii is like, you have a control in your hand that I think they call a wand. You have to actually move the wand to play. As in, when I punch in real life my character punches as well. Well, while playing Jen the kid kept saying “you’re getting beat by a girl!” so I said “you play her next.” He lost too. I got beat twice by Jen and twice by the kid. Finally, in my last match against Jen, I won. It was my first win! I played for the first time about a week ago and had the idea that we should try to arrange it so that it is “Play Wii against the Second City!” Well, when Jen and I were playing, and Mike and Andy (who showed up and played after my victory) we really got the crowd going. It will work after people have seen us do a show.

I went straight from there to the show. It was a combo of Andre & Cirell and Edge. Then I pretty much ate and came back to the room. Tomorrow is Miami day and I want to catch up on some TV via the intertnet.

Day 16

Still at sea. Today was lazy. Although we had a barely early morning for a safety briefing. There are water tight doors in the lower areas that are big and can easily crush you. The safety guy couldn’t stress enough that we should never try to go through a door if it is opening or closing. If it moves, you don’t. There are multiple ways to open and close the doors (a switch, and a crank incase there is loss of power and the switch doesn’t work. As we were being shown how to use the door a cook walked through…a major no-no. There were a lot of other crew around and the safety manager had them stop the cook and tell him to come back. Busted! He had to stand around while we finished our briefing before he got a talkin’ to.

Other than that the day was very mellow. I did more laundry…which was a little bit of a fight for time with the machines because of it being a sea day. Everyone finds time for laundry on sea days.

I went to the crew store for the first time. Got lost looking for it, but I found it eventually. Mostly beverages and toiletries.

What else…hmmm. I fell asleep at some point.

Other than that we had our improv shows tonight. Good times. In between we managed to catch most of the JARs show. Tonight was special in that it was a rough sea day. They really had to stay on guard with the waves hitting the ship.

After the improv shows we stayed to watch the Quest…the game show where groups need to bring items down to the stage to get points. Early on a woman bit it pretty hard. This is not a game to play drunk. We then met up with Edge the juggler and had a nice dinner.

Pretty casual. Tomorrow should be just as exciting.

Day 15 pt 2: Forgotten Tales

A few things I forgot to mention…and even in just typing that I re-forgot one of the things. But the main one is remembered.

If you are not caught up, you’ll want to read Day 13 before continuing. Specifically, “Let’s talk about hair braiding…”
.
.
.
All caught up? Let us continue.

That lady with the braids in the Rascal? Yeah. She has been trumped. Last night while watching the Andre and Cirell show we noticed Jen and Larrance coming in late up in the upper section/box seats. A little later than them came a larger gentleman (who was very inebriated the night of our show) with dark hair who had the top of his head done in tiny braids with white beads. He could be one of those Budweiser “Real Men of Genius” guys. He would be Mr. Caribbean-beaded-braid-wearer. So, kudos, Mr. Caribbean-beaded-braid-wearer. You have helped make one lady in a Rascal look not so out of place.

Also, it is amazing how easily adults can turn into two year-olds. Not temper-wise, but lack of special recognition-wise. People will stop in the middle of a slim walkway and have conversations, press the elevator button and then back up so that they block the stairs, or even stop and just start walking backwards. One woman even stood out of the way, facing towards Deanna and I as we were walking, and once we were inches away just walked right in front of Deanna as if she wasn’t there. You know, like a two year-old running around as if they’re the only one in the world.

Another thing. Hey, soft serve ice cream machine…I get it. You’re free and delicious. Stop being so tempting already.

I remember the other thing I wanted to do…answer some comments. Pardon me if I get the names wrong as I am not actually online as I write this.

Dear Dad, your core is your set of core muscles like your abs and what nots…the stuff that keeps babies from falling over when they sit up. Unless they’re really young babies.

Dear Not-Zach-Thompson, stop reading Zach’s secret messages.

Day 15

Castries, St. Lucia. Boy, did things happen today. We started off heading out into the port. It is important to say our ship was well secured to the dock and we didn’t need to take tender boats…you’ll understand later. All of us AND Alexsandria (the ballroom dancer from the JARs, and I feel like her name is spelled differently) got a taxi to go to a beach. Both Jen and Andy have different Caribbean books that tell you tons of stuff about places. We chose a beach called “Red We” (spelled in a much more French way probably…I never saw the name in writing. This beach was pretty crowded, but we did find a nice spot. I spent most of my time in the water…it is a whole different ball game than the Oregon Coast or Lake Michigan. The water is warm. See?

We were there for a couple of hours. We saw a majority of the other dancers while we were there, but then headed back. We probably got back around 2:30 and then I headed up to the Garden to get food. I was sitting on the very back of the ship on deck 12 with Andy. Here is where it gets interesting.

The ship felt like it was getting hit by some minor waves, then bigger, then it felt like the engine was kicking into gear or something and the whole ship was shaking. Right next to the ship on the pier was a cargo crane that was shaking. Earthquake, dear readers. St. Lucia had an earthquake. And because we were well secured to the dock (remember?) the pier was basically shaking the ship. Everything was ok, but it was exciting.

After eating I planned on chilling out for an hour then working out. Well, I caught the very beginning of Nicholas Cage in Next…so I had to watch that.

Tonight we had a new (to us) act on the ship. Andre & Cirell. Two comedian/impersonators/singers who have been working together for 33 years. The show was definitely geared toward an older audience, but that is what they had and they got a huge standing ovation in the first show. Deanna and I then hustled of to our first Second City workshop. It was at night so we turned it into a jam (we teach a game and then others can play) with a Q&A at the end. It went over very well.

From there we met in the Spinaker Lounge for a show called the Liars Club. Four guest entertainers (Andy, and Larrance were two of them) are given a word. One of them gives the correct definition and the other three give fakes. The crowd tries to guess who is telling the truth in each of four rounds. That was pretty fun. Right after that was Ship ‘n’ Males. Crew doing Chippendales dancing. There were three cruise staff and one of the dancers doing the “male dancing”. The highlight was the host. Another of the dancers (Chris) in drag was the host. His hosting bits were great. There will be pics up of him with Deanna.

After that (see? Lots of stuff!) we went to a crew party in the crew bar with our newly given privilege. It was exactly the situation I don’t care to be in…cramped, loud, hot…but it was good to be able to hang out with everyone not in our cast in a more relaxed-for-them atmosphere.

Right now we’re on the sea, and we will be until we get to Miami on Sunday. It is Thursday.

Day 14

Norwegian Jewel, Barbados. You might be thinking “Hey, ‘Norwegian Jewel’ seems like an odd name for a city.” Well, I didn’t get off the ship. We had a rehearsal scheduled for 2:30 and I wanted to chill out and drink water. Sounds like a real party, eh? I also needed to iron my show shirt so there was a huge 10 minutes out of my schedule.

We rehearsed and ironed a few more kinks out of our improv musical ending. This was sort of a new show for us because it had been 9 days since our first shows and we were changing the running order…we lost one sketch, changed an improv game and switched places of two sketches.

So today for me was pretty much all rehearsal and shows. We had a good 7:30 show and a great 9:30 show. The JARs saw our show for the first time since they’re finally done with their major rehearsing…some even managed to see for the second time as well in the same night. It’s nice to have them see what we do and not just have us be the strangers who keep trying to talk to them and congratulate them on shows they do.

Speaking of mingling. We just found out that we’re now allowed to go to the crew bar, crew store, and general crew areas. This is great because it makes it easier to get to know the other crew members. This means we have shiny name tags. Huzzah!

Since I didn’t really go anywhere today I’m also not really sure where we’re headed tomorrow off hand. Luckily there is a Freestyle Daily (the ship’s daily newsletter) that will tell us what is up.

One more note. We’ve had 5 days of anonymity…now we’re “Second City” or more likely “the comedy people.” It’s fun chatting up people after the shows…I hope it remains fun and doesn’t get creepy or stalkery. Stay tuned, dear readers!

Day 13

St. John’s, Antigua. Today was pretty easy. Most of us met for breakfast and decided to head into town on our own. We were at an actual pier today so it was easier to get on and off the ship. St. John’s had a lot of shops and a cool little public market near Heroes Park (pics to come to flickr). Deanna and I walked around on our own. We ended up getting massages and I got some shopping done for our upcoming Secretest of Santas.

There are a few things you can always count on when we port.
A) there will be at least 10 guys right outside the pier gate with laminated maps asking if you need a taxi. The map is theirs, but they can show you places on it to get you on a cab.
B) there will be someone selling necklaces and jewelry…usually the same jewelry you’ll see on every port and definitely multiple times in that city.
C) there will be women offering hair braiding. Someone will always get their hair braided in a port before coming back on the ship.

Let’s talk about hair braiding, shall we? It’s pretty much corn rows. Lots of little braids with beads on the end…ala Bo Derek in “10”. The braiders will try to get you in to braid your hair. If you say you don’t have time they will say they can do a partial…this is braids from the front of your head to the crown/back of the top of your head and the rest left alone. So, someone will get this done…it is nature’s law. Someone else will see that person and decide for some reason that it is a good idea and they will get their hair done as well. Today, while we were sitting at a coffee place we saw a lady from our ship. She is overweight, in her 60s, and was in a Rascal…with braids. On the one hand I feel like she might not have made the best choice. On the other hand, when will she get a chance to have her hair braided in the Caribbean again, right? She is living it up. No shirt, no shoes, no problem. I want to get a single braid at some point.

Tonight we did a few things. We watched Wii bowling from 7-7:30. I caught Edge the juggler (object manipulator) teaching a workshop to a bunch of people. If you ever are somewhere like a ship or Vegas and you see that Edge is doing some sort of juggling show…see it. He is great. We then saw the JARs show Country Gold. It was pretty entertaining considering I might have known one song they sang. They looked like they were having a blast up there.

After that we went for a walk and I saw a cool moon reflection. There were scattered clouds. One was blocking the moon so that we couldn’t see it, but we could see a silvery reflection on the water way out at sea. As if the moon was trying to tell us where the treasure was.

We have a lot of ground to cover to get to Barbados tomorrow. Jen said the ship would probably be moving pretty quickly and would probably be rocking more than usual. Right now it is, and I’m a little queezy. Luckily it is bedtime and I’ll hopefully sleep through it.

Day 12

Tortola, British Virgin Isles. Today was a visit to Tortola. I barely took any pics here. We tendered into town and immediately got a cab for Brewer’s Bay. It is a beach that isn’t talked about by the excursion desk, therefore, not crowded. It was a 20 minute cab ride away up and over the island. This, dear readers, was my first snorkeling adventure. This spot is a place that Jen and Larrance found last year when they were here. What did I learn? I like having my feet on the ground. There was a lot of silt, I couldn’t see much, and I found it harder than hell to relax and breath. Luckily everyone there was supportive with reassuring “yep”s. It was like this for all of them too. Deanna was fantastic in helping me ease into it. They were seeing stuff further out. We went out for a second attempt, but I wasn’t quite ready. It’s actually nice to find something that I have a fear of so that I have a point of reference for when I make progress. The hardest part, I found, was circumventing the instinct in my body. When your face is in water, breathing is bad…that is the instinct. But snorkels are used for just that…breathing.

Anyhow, we were on this beach for a couple hours. I actually started getting a tan through all the sunscreen I’ve been putting on.

I’ve been working out a lot and eating a lot (Fuel the machine!)…this leaves me tired more than usual. Add to that a day at the beach and I was wiped out.

Also, if you want a good core workout, live on a ship. The constant slight rocking…you get a good core.

Tonight we ended the day with games. Jen bought a card game called Quao (cow). To explain it is to give away too much. It is fun. Tomorrow we’re in…St. John’s, Antingua.

Day 11

Samana, Dominican Republic. A little town. Jen remembered it as a town with poor children selling trinkets, shrewd bargainers with wares, and wild dogs roaming the streets. Well, there were some kids offering to sell shells. There were a couple of little markets with jewelry, art, and other stuff. There were two dogs. So, things have changed a little Jen was here last. People were indeed trying to get your attention, but they were quick to realize when you weren’t about to buy anything. A major factor could be that I’m more intimidating than Jen and I’m really good at “aloof”. Deanna and I did buy a couple paintings and one is hanging on the wall right now…via magnet hook since the walls are all metal.

I had a little moment today. If you get a chance to do a job that lets you travel, take it. I was sitting on the bed watching part of that Julia Roberts movie where she’s an art teacher in a 50’s era all girls school…you know the one. I was eating a turkey burger, watching that, and then I turned to look out the window (see pics when I get them updated) to see an island with palm trees. I had momentarily been sucked into a normally routine of TV and food that snapped me out of “I’m on a cruise” mode. Why can I see palm trees out my window? We were using our own tender boats today so we had a clear view.

Tonight we get a chance to see “guest entertainers” perform. There are entertainers like us and the JARs who are on the cruise for an extended amount of time…then there are guest performers who just perform for the cruise. Tonight will be quick change artists. They have to change complete outfits. This is the gist of it. I’ve seen a quick change act on youtube once that was pretty amazing.

Speaking of youtube, I have two videos that I’ll be getting on youtube eventually. One is the final number of the cruise, and the other is Deanna dancing with the guy on the ferry back to Cozumel. So, keep an eye out.

Day 10

Sea day. We slept until about 11am, but that is including turning the clocks ahead one hour. Today was a day of eating, working out, chilling out, and not much more. I finally saw Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer today. I thought it was ok. It helped that I thought it would really be awful.

Tomorrow were in Samana, Dominican Republic. I know little of what to expect.

Oh! We went to the VIP party. They have it every cruise for the people staying in the suites. We chatted up some fun couples. This is a fun opportunity for us to get to know them.

Boring blog. Oh well.